My alarm jangled, and I woke with a start, a wave of emotion hitting hard. Last night had been rough. The moment I’d got home, Mom had been off, frantic over something she wouldn’t share. At any other time, it would’ve been great to see her with some spirit, but something felt very wrong.
I was almost certain she’d seen or spoken to Wade. No one rattled her like her ex.
She’d denied it but continued to worry, wringing her hands like something terrible was going to happen.
Finally, she’d settled and went to bed, but the event left me disturbed. I’d gone to my room and set up to call Maddock.
But I’d fallen asleep instead.
“Crap,” I mumbled to myself, guilt creeping in.
But my first priority was always Mom over myself.
I tiptoed to her room and poked my head in. Mom slept, her yellow hair fanned around her head like a halo. I gazed at her, wishing I could take away the things that scared her or sent her mood low. But it was fruitless. She’d always been this way, and there was no cure. Only coping mechanisms, but she had to be willing to try them first.
I checked my screen. Mixed in with texts and missed calls was a message from my aunt.
Rebecca: Did she have a good night?
I’d called her last night for advice, and she’d been wonderful.
Rory: Yep. Thankfully. I’m grateful for the help.
Rebecca: I just wish I could do more. You’ll both be here for Christmas. That will be a small break.
I replied with a heart. Aunt Rebecca and her husband had no kids but busy lives. At least staying with them in their place outside of Fresno, Mom would get a change of scene.
My phone rang as I was dressing, an unknown number on the screen. I answered. “Rory Westacre.”
“Rory, I’m Anna from SpaceTechOne, calling about your internship application.”
“Hi!” I squeaked and grabbed the door handle at my back. I’d heard nothing after the last email I’d sent them.
“I apologise for taking time over it, but we have an interview spot for you.”
“Oh my God. I mean thank you.”
Anna chuckled. “The interview is on Saturday morning at nine. Can you make it?”
Holy shit. My heart sped. “Absolutely. I’m so grateful—”
“Great! I’ll email you the details. See you then.” She hung up, and I gawked at my phone.
I had two days to prepare, but she hadn’t given any hint of how the interview would go down. Which meant I needed to cram like a mofo.
In haste, I got ready for work, delivering Mom her breakfast before hustling out of the door.
If I had any other option, I’d stay with her, but we had no other way to pay the bills. My salary kept the lights on and the fridge stocked.
The money in my account played over in my mind as I left the house. If only I could keep it. Then I’d get Mom better psychiatric help, and someone to check in on her. Maybe a cleaner so I didn’t have to bust my ass in exhausted late evenings.
I travelled into LA with that impossible thought on repeat.
Nearing work, I finally texted Maddock back.
The missed calls and texts from him gave me even stranger feelings. Ones I was instantly wary of and that made me want to curl up in a corner and hide from it all. But with that came fear. I didn’t have the luxury of giving over mental space to someone else. Especially not someone who I could never keep.
God, what was I thinking?
Maddock was the whole package. Sexy, confident, funny, and I knew without doubt he’d make an amazing boyfriend.
Not for me. Even if I wanted him, which I didn’t—dating was out for me, I couldn’t have him. So the uncomfortable swirling in my belly had to go away.
Rory: Sorry about last night. I crashed out.
I sent that then paused over my next words, ones that would call an end to our friends-with-virtual-benefits deal.
Except a message from him came in before I could type.
Maddock: Call me. Right now.
I checked the time. Seven minutes until I needed to be at my desk. Maybe this would be easier over the phone.
Nerves rose in waves, and I dialled him.
“Rory, are ye okay?” he said fast.
“Totally fine—”
“I’m coming to the US. I mean, I can fly into LA for a single day and night this weekend. I want to see ye.”
My pulse skipped, and I clutched the phone tighter. “What?”
“Gabe, one of the pilots on my course, has a private plane and is making the trip. He invited me along for the ride. It’s crazy but worth it.”
“Worth flying all that way just for me?” I spluttered.
Maddock paused, and I cringed at how that had sounded. Wait, no, we weren’t dating. He deserved honesty.
I pulled up my big girl panties and told him the truth. “I was just considering telling you we had to end this thing between us.”
“Did ye plan to ghost me? Is that what the lack of a call was last night?”
“No. That was me being genuinely wiped out. But I also told you I didn’t want a boyfriend, and hanging on to you looks like the start of something I can’t finish.”
There, said and done.
I had no clue why doing the right thing sent a shock of pain through me, and I stifled the errant hurt.
Maddock chewed on that for a moment. “What about taking what we need?”
My sex drive stood up and waved.
“Like we did in Scotland,” he continued. “I know we can’t date. I’m not going to trick ye into falling in love with me. I just want ye again. Under me, fucking grabbing me hard while I make ye scream. Plus, while I’m there, I can go with ye to make a second attempt on that Stafford guy.”
How stupid I was. It was a testament to my stressed state that, in my head, I’d gone to a place Maddock hadn’t even considered.
God, it felt good to be reset.
I swung a look around to check for colleagues. “Just sex?”
“And protection.”
“I have an interview on Saturday morning.”
“For the internship? Holy fuck!”
“Right?” I laughed, all manner of relief flooding my system. “They called first thing.”
“If ye want me, I’ll be there to celebrate with ye.”
He waited on my word.
“I want you.”
“Done. See ye Saturday.”
And just like that, I had everything to look forward to. Just Maddock and me taking what we needed from each other. How amazing that sounded.
The day passed in a blur, and my mind leapt between Maddock’s visit and the interview. By the time I was heading home, I almost buzzed with energy.
And I was ready to have some fun.
Maddock would be asleep, so I cruised the web, grabbed a picture, and sent it to him. A sex position with illustrated people demonstrating something I wanted to try.
Rory: Good morning, sunshine. Thinking about you.
On my street, I jumped from the car share and waved goodbye.
My phone rang.
“No way are you awake,” I muttered.
But it was my sister’s name onscreen.
“Elise!” I answered fast. “Isn’t it the middle of the night there?”
“I’m in New York for a flying visit with a producer. I have news. It’s, uh, kind of nuts,” she sang.
“I love nuts,” I replied.
Simultaneously, we broke out laughing.
“Way too much information,” she drawled.
I rolled with my unintentional joke. “Nothing wrong with a good pair of nuts. Hairy ones, round and dangly. If you get to know them, they’re great for certain purposes.”
Elise choked, and my grin deepened.
“Sorry, I’ll behave. What’s the news?”
“It’s about my wedding. We’ve been stressing over how to handle it and what we want. Big, small, do we invite everyone we know? Dresses, catering, a million and one little details. It’s a minefield. So we’re just going to cut through the noise and have a family party right here in Scotland. No drama. No time to plan, so no big deal but low consequence stuff. Just an intimate ceremony in his uncle’s castle then a party after.”
I pressed my hand to my heart. “That’ll be perfect.”
“It really will. And it’s on New Year’s Eve.”
My jaw dropped. “Only a few weeks away.”
“Exactly. We’ll start the next year as we mean to go on. Can you get the time off work? And if your mom is willing to travel, you can both stay here. I know it’s tricky, but the offer is there, and we’ll do everything to take care of her.”
I blinked hard, my mind wrangling over the fast turnaround. For Christmas, I only had one day off, and we’d go to Aunt Rebecca’s, my aunt collecting us as I still had no car.
“I’ll ask for personal days with work. And with Mom, I’ll get back to you on that. Don’t sweat it.”
“You’re the best! You’re also my maid of honour.”
“Awesome. What does that entail?”
“Nothing at all. Just show up and be by my side.”
We chatted on for a minute, and I let the new event on my horizon slot into my plans. I had no clue how I’d swing this, but I’d work it out somehow. With Elise promising more detail later, we got off the call.
I let myself into the house and got on with cleaning up and dinner.
At ten, Mom transferred herself from the couch to her wheelchair, then rolled to a position in front of me.
“I don’t want to go to Rebecca’s for Christmas.”
I set aside my MacBook and stared. Earlier in the evening, I’d chatted with my aunt about the wedding. Without debate, Mom had turned down the option to go, and Rebecca had offered to have her stay there for a week so I could visit Scotland without worry. But if Mom refused…
“Why not?”
“I want the option of making other plans.”
I narrowed my gaze. Signs of her taking back her autonomy were good—she had looked after herself mostly fine before her latest bout of depression hit—but if it was Wade she wanted to see, she’d be right back to a bad situation. “Plans with who?”
“Just plans. I’m going to bed.”
She trundled out of the room, and I dropped my head back on the couch.
A text message landed.
Maddock: Oh, sweetheart. We’re trying that. Is it really called the shoulder holder? I’d be so deep inside you.
Then a picture loaded. It was from the same site I’d grabbed my dirty shot. In this one, the guy laid out on his back, and the woman was on her front but in the opposite direction, her feet around his ears and their connection at that acute angle.
A thrill ran through me at how good it would feel.
Rory: Yeah, we’re doing that one, too.
Maddock: I have to head out on an all-day flight. We’re winch training, so I’ll be dangling from great heights and trying not to get smashed into rocks. Tonight, I’ll get on a plane and come see you. Seriously excited.
Rory: Same. I’m glad I didn’t ghost you now.
Maddock: Wouldn’t have let you go that easily. Keep sending pictures. Even if I can’t see them until later, I want to know they’re there.
He signed off, and I forced my mind to focus on my interview. But I couldn’t help drifting back to Maddock and the dangers he was in. Yet again, worry for the Highlander dominated my mind. Hanging from a winch from a helicopter… I shivered.
Intuition hit strong.
All night, icy danger haunted my dreams.
