I walk behind Emilia as we hike through the woods like we do every year. She hasn’t spoken a word to me in hours and I hate it. I can’t believe she’s acting like this over Tony. I could’ve sworn she didn’t even remember him until recently. Besides, if she just called him and asked him out, he’d be falling all over himself to take her on a second date.
Kate glares at me as though it’s her I’ve wronged. It irritates me that she’s more concerned with Emilia and I ruining her weekend than she is concerned about Emilia. It’s very rare for Emilia to be angry for long. She forgives and forgets quickly, but this time it’s different. It’s been almost two weeks. She hasn’t even been peering into my bedroom lately. Instead, she’s been keeping her curtains closed. She won’t speak to me on the ride to and from school either. It’s frustrating as hell.
I fall into step with her and she glances up before looking away again. I hate how easily she dismisses me. I can’t remember the last time I was angry at her for more than a day. I don’t think I ever have been.
“Are you looking forward to going kayaking later?” I ask, grinning. I still remember how she toppled over last year. I ended up having to dive into the lake to help her. It was hilarious.
Emilia doesn’t even glance at me. She just increases her pace and starts walking next to my mother. Mom looks behind her curiously and raises her brow at me, but I shake my head. I didn’t do anything, not today.
Kate punches me in the arm and glares at me. “I can’t believe you did that, Carter. She’s never going to forgive you for ruining her date with Tony. And she shouldn’t either. Tony is super cute and you totally embarrassed her in front of him.”
I groan. “I guess cute is a good way to describe him. He’s small and dainty, like a kitten. Seriously, though, Kate. He’s just some little prick. Surely she doesn’t actually like him.”
Kate rolls her eyes. “She does. Or she did, anyway, until you ruined it. Why would she go out with him if she didn’t like him? Tony is smart and sweet. He’s super tall too. What’s not to like?”
I roll my eyes. “Sounds like it’s you who likes him, and not Emilia.”
Kate blushes and looks away. “I can’t believe you actually followed her into the movie theatre. What’s wrong with you? I know you two have that whole feud thing going on, but that was a bit weird. It wasn’t even really a prank. Why did you do that?”
I grit my teeth. I don’t know why I did it either. Up until now I’ve been okay keeping my feelings to myself. I didn’t think I’d ever act on them, but I could barely think straight when I realized Emilia was actually going out with someone else. I couldn’t help it. I don’t know what to say to Kate. I don’t have a reply for her. Not an acceptable one, anyway.
“Lately, the way you two act around each other is a bit odd too. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but something is weird. And then the thing with Tony… Kind of seemed like you were jealous or something. But you’d never go there with Emilia, right? She’s part of our family. She’s like our sister.”
Her words hit me right in the gut. Is that how Emilia sees me? Does she see me as a brother? No, surely not. If she did, she wouldn’t watch me the way she does. She wouldn’t have climbed on top of me and sat on my dick if she saw me as her brother. I definitely don’t see her as a sister — not even close.
Kate hits my arm again. “I’m serious, Carter. She’s not someone you can mess with. She’s my best friend, she’s part of our family. I’d never forgive you if you made a move on her. I know she’s pretty. Everyone thinks she’s pretty. I see how all the boys around us look at her… but not you, okay? Please, Carter, not you too.”
I’m startled by her words. Emilia and I don’t even flirt. Not really. Every once in a while I catch her looking at me with interest, but it’s always fleeting. What is Kate seeing that I’m not?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say. Kate sighs and shakes her head.
“I’m not blind, Carter. When you think she’s not looking, your eyes are always on her. Sometimes it feels like you treat her even better than you treat me. When I have a late class, you make Mom pick me up, but when it’s Emilia, you always go get her yourself. I’ve been on the cheering squad for months now, but you only started showing up at training once Emilia joined. No matter how much I begged you to come hang out with me and the girls, you’d never do it. But now Emilia joins and all of a sudden you show up? I’m not stupid.”
I blink in surprise. I didn’t even realize I did any of those things. I guess it’s true, though. I did start showing up to her cheering practice specifically because I wanted to come watch and mess with Emilia. Looks like Kate is far more observant than I gave her credit for.
“I don’t get it,” I reply. “There’s nothing going on between me and her, but even if there was, how is that at all your problem?”
I’m irrationally angry. I know she’s not being unreasonable, but I still don’t like hearing it. Kate looks up at me pleadingly.
“She’s my best friend, Carter. She’s at our house almost every day and she comes with us on every trip. We spend all our holidays together too. Imagine if something happened between you two? How awkward would things get? I don’t want to lose my best friend because of you. Besides, I’ve seen the way she looks at you sometimes. Just stay away from her, okay?”
I glare at her and grit my teeth. “She’s my friend too, Kate. We both met her at the exact same time. It’s not like you’ve known her any longer. You don’t own her. If anything happened between us, then that’s none of your business at all.”
Kate’s expression crumples and I instantly feel bad. I sigh and throw my arm around my little sister. “Nothing is going on between me and her, Kate. I understand where you’re coming from, but I promise you, you’re worrying for nothing. She and I are just friends. Or frenemies, I guess. That’s a thing, right?”
Kate laughs and nods. “Yeah, that’s a thing. I just hope you’ll never be more than that, Carter. You might not care, but I’m dead serious. I’ll never ever forgive you.”
Such harsh words coming out of my sweet baby sister’s lips are shocking to say the least. I never realized she felt so strongly about this. I never realized she was worried about Emilia and me getting together.
“I hear you, baby sis. You’re worried for nothing, though. Like I said, nothing is going on between Emilia and me.”
Kate shakes her head. “You say that, but I see the way you look at her. I see the way she looks at you too. Don’t do this to me, okay? Don’t fall for her. I love Emilia too, so I get it, but she’s already every teacher’s and Mom’s favorite. Why does she have to be yours too?”
I’m startled to say the least. “Kate, surely you aren’t jealous of Emilia? She won’t ever take your place, you know that, right? Even if I did ever date her, and I’m not saying I will, but even if I did, you’d still always be my only sister. Nothing would ever change. And mom doesn’t love her more than she loves either of us, of course she doesn’t. It’s just that you and I both hate doing chores, and Emilia is always helping Mom with one thing or another. I think Mom also gives her just a touch more attention because her dad is literally never there for her.”
Part of me resents Kate for begrudging Emilia the little bit of attention my mom gives her, but part of me also gets it. Kate probably feels like she’s always had to compete with Emilia, and in most aspects she loses. Not because she isn’t as good as Emilia, but because Emilia works much harder than Kate ever does. Emilia has better grades because she works her ass off for them. While Kate is usually on her phone or watching Netflix, Emilia is usually studying. She works even harder than I do, and I’m putting absolutely everything into getting an academic scholarship. It’s true that Emilia gets more of Mom’s attention, but that’s because she’s always helping around the house and she’s always offering to go everywhere with Mom.
“I don’t care,” Kate says. “You just can’t go there with her. Not her. Anyone but her, Carter.”
I’m not sure what to do. It might very well be too late for me to take a step back.
