My doorbell rings and I frown. Carter is still at football practice and won’t be home for the next couple of hours, and Kate is meant to be at the shopping center with Gabby. I drop my pencil and make my way down.
I’m surprised to find Kate at my doorstep, and I’m not even remotely happy to see her. These days she only spends time with me when Gabby bails on her, and that’s happening more and more often since the last dinner we had. Carter stood by his word and refused to let Gabby into the house, and he refuses to be anywhere near her now. I’m not surprised that it hasn’t taken Gabby long to stop hanging out with Kate. I don’t want to be Kate’s second choice. Not anymore. I’ve always tried my best to put her first — I’ve always tried to put her happiness above mine, and even above Carter’s. I’m done.
“Hey,” she says. She storms into my house and plops down on the sofa. I follow her in and sit down next to her quietly. It’s somewhat weird to have her here. Carter has really started to feel at home here, but Kate never has. She has always insisted that I come to her house instead, and I’ve never minded it because it allowed me to spend time with Helen and Carter too.
“Gabby bailed on me when she found out Carter is at football practice,” she says. I figured as much. I’m pretty sure Gabby only really used to drag Kate to the shopping center so she had an excuse to get Carter to pick them up. The shopping center is close enough to walk to from school, but far enough from our houses that someone needs to go pick up Kate. The first few times it actually worked, but recently he’s been outright refusing to go get them, forcing Helen to go instead.
“That sucks,” I murmur, unsure of what else I could say. Every time I tried to warn her that Gabby isn’t a real friend, my warnings fell on deaf ears. Every time I spoke up, she’d send me a pleading look requesting me to stop. Kate’s been pushing me away in her pursuit of Gabby’s friendship. And what for? Popularity?
“I messed up,” she says. She buries her head in her hands and breathes in shakily. “I know I did, Milly. I’m sorry. I just…”
She takes a steadying breath and sniffs. My anger melts away and I wrap my arm around her. As soon as I do, a sob escapes her lips, as though she’s just been trying to hold it in the entire time. She starts crying and I stroke her shoulder gently. I can’t stand seeing Kate in tears and my own heart feels like it’s breaking too. I was so intent on staying mad at her, but how can I when she’s crying like this?
“I know what you’re thinking, Milly, but she didn’t approach me because of Carter. She genuinely liked me for me. She didn’t even realize that I was Carter’s sister until I told her. He always ruins everything for me.”
I bite down on my lip to keep from snapping at her. Everyone knows that she’s Carter’s sister — our town isn’t very big. Most of us know each other, and everyone definitely knows Carter. She’s deceiving herself if she’s pretending Gabby didn’t know exactly who she was.
“Kate, everyone knows everyone here,” I say. We might not know each other well, but we all do sort of recognize each other by face. Granted, Gabby is still relatively new here, but she’s been living in Woodstock for almost a year now. It’s impossible for her not to have known who Kate is. Kate shakes her head and looks up at me through teary eyes.
“No, she really didn’t know. She was so surprised, Milly. I wish I never told her. I only told her because I knew she had a bit of a crush on him and I felt bad keeping it from her. She would’ve found out eventually anyway and you know…”
I shake my head. I don’t know. I don’t understand. Kate rests her head on my shoulder and sniffs, her shoulders shaking.
“She just changed after she found out. She kept wanting to spend time with him, and as her friend I felt bad for not helping her out a little. It didn’t really hurt to create some opportunity for her, you know.”
My heart aches at the mere thought of Carter with Gabby. What would I have done if Kate’s ploys had actually worked, if they actually started dating? I can just imagine her sitting next to him in the car every morning, or seeing them together at the house. My heart twists painfully at the mental image I’ve conjured, and I grit my teeth.
“I thought you hated it when your friends like Carter. Didn’t you stop being friends with Jennifer two years ago because she liked him?”
Kate looks away and nods. “Yeah, and I was right. Just once I thought it’d be okay, that my friendship with Gabby wouldn’t necessarily be affected by her liking Carter, but look at me now. I don’t even get it. Every single time any of my friends like him, my friendships just fall apart. All they do is use me to try to see him or to get information about him.”
She bursts out crying again, this time even harder, and my heart breaks for her. I get how she feels, but I’m also certain that Gabby knew full well who she was when she approached Kate. It was obvious to everyone except her.
“You know what Layla told me? Apparently it all started as a bet. The other girls on our squad dared Gabby to try and get Carter to date her because so far they’d all failed. I think that’s why she befriended me, you know. I think I was just part of the plan. I wonder if any single aspect of our friendship was even real.”
I wipe away her tears as best as I can and push her hair away from her face. I knew Gabby had an ulterior motive of some sort, but this is even worse than I expected.
“Don’t cry, Kate,” I say. “I promise it’ll be fine. You don’t need her anyway. You’ve got me, babe.”
She nods and hugs me tightly as she chokes on her sobs. She can barely even breathe because she’s crying so hard. She clings to me as I stroke her back in an effort to calm her down, but nothing seems to work .
“I was so horrible to you, too. Gabby didn’t like you because you’re so close to my family and Carter, and I stupidly pushed you away to please her. I can’t believe I did that to you, Milly. She kept telling me you must be in love with Carter and that you were using me to hang out with him, when all along it was her that felt that way. I should’ve known you’d never do that to me.”
She tries to inhale deeply but fails, and a fresh bout of tears run down her cheeks. “You’d never do that to me, would you?” she asks. I nod reassuringly and wipe her tears away with my thumbs. Seeing her cry this way breaks my heart. I hated who she was around Gabby, but she’s still my best friend. She’s still the girl I grew up with, the girl I’ve shared everything with in the last seven years, and that has never hesitated to share everything with me in return, her family included.
“Promise me, Milly. Please, promise me. Promise that you’ll never, ever start liking Carter. Don’t ever fall for him, please.”
Fat teardrops fall from her eyes, and I nod without thinking. I always knew Carter and I could never be together. I always knew it would jeopardize my friendship with Kate. It’s the reason I pushed him away after our weekend at the cabin when all I wanted was to pull him closer.
Kate holds up her pinky and grabs my hand to entwine hers with mine. “Pinky promise you’ll never ever fall for Carter,” she says. I close my eyes and nod while crossing my fingers behind my back. It’s far too late for me to be making such a promise solemnly, but I’ll do all I can to prevent Kate from ever finding out.
“I promise, Kate,” I reply.
She exhales in relief and looks up at me. “You’re my best friend, Milly, the only friend that’s stuck with me through thick and thin. I don’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you for putting me first.”
My stomach twists. I feel like I’m stabbing her in the back by keeping silent about what’s been going on with Carter, but if I tell her, our friendship will never be the same, if it survives at all.
I nod at her and try my best to smile. “I love you, Kate,” I tell her, and I truly mean it. The issue is that I’m pretty sure I love Carter too.
