I’m tired. Exhausted, really. Ever since Kate made me promise to never fall for Carter, my heart has just felt broken. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. All I can think about is him, and how badly I want to be with him. I’m not even excited about my own birthday, and until a week ago I’d been counting down the days diligently.
I get into bed eagerly. I can’t wait for this day to be over already. Kate and Helen have tried their best to give me a good day, and the spa day we had was really fun, but I just couldn’t enjoy myself. It’s like no matter how hard I try, my heart isn’t in it.
I’ve only been in bed for a few minutes when I hear my bedroom door open. I sit up in surprise. My dad seemed dead tired when we got in, so I didn’t think he’d come to my room. My eyes widen when I see Carter standing in my doorway.
“Are you crazy?” I hiss. He and I are both dead if my dad catches us. Carter shrugs and holds up one of his hoodies. He pulls me out of bed and pushes the hoodie over my head.
“Your birthday isn’t over yet, baby,” he whispers. Carter pulls me along and out of the door quietly, pausing long enough for me to get my flip-flops on. He leads me straight to his car and grins as he buckles me in.
“What are you doing? Where are we going?”
Carter smiles. “It’s a surprise,” he tells me. I’m instantly excited. I love surprises, but I guess I’m also excited to spend some alone time with him. He and I haven’t spent a single second alone since I made Kate that promise. But tonight, I’m weak. Tonight, I need a high enough dose of Carter to sustain me for the foreseeable future.
Carter is quiet as he drives us towards the nearby woods, but his excitement is palpable. I can’t help but be ridiculously excited too. When we finally reach our destination, he takes out a flashlight before running around to get me. Rather than helping me out of the car, he lifts me into his arms. He pushes the car door closed with his hip and carries me into the woods, one arm underneath my knees and one arm supporting my back.
“Hey, are you murdering me and burying me out here?” I whisper.
Carter chuckles and winks at me. “Only one way to find out.”
I giggle and hide my face against his neck. Carter laughs and I hug him tighter. I can see some sort of light in the distance and I peer at it, trying to figure out what it is. I gasp when he carries me into the clearing.
He’s set up a large blanket surrounded by pillows, with a large hanging sheet in front of it that seems to act as a big screen. He’s somehow created a small little private theatre for us, lit up by dozens of lanterns. It looks ridiculously romantic and my heart melts. I can’t believe he did this for me.
“This is amazing,” I whisper, hugging him even tighter. Carter smiles at me indulgently and puts me down on the blankets before joining me. He grabs one of the folded blankets and throws it over my bare legs. When he abducted me I was wearing sleeping shorts and a tank top. His huge hoodie is comfy and warm, but my legs and feet were a little cold.
Carter seems nervous and flustered as he fidgets with a bag that he had hidden away here.
“Just how long did it take you to prepare all this?” I ask, truly awed. Carter shrugs.
“Not that long,” he says, clearly lying. Eventually he reveals what he’s been hiding, and I gasp.
“You got me a chocolate cake!”
He puts it down in front of me and sticks a candle in before lighting it. He clears his throat awkwardly and then starts singing, his voice low and soft.
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday, my dear Emilia… happy birthday to you,” he sings, his cheeks bright red. My heart beats a thousand miles an hour and I wish I could capture this moment. Then I realize I can, and I fish my phone out of his hoodie to take a photo.
“Smile,” I whisper, making him pose with my birthday cake. He looks like he wants to decline, but in the end he indulges me and does as I ask. He shakes his head while I stare at the photos I took happily.
“Make a wish, Minx,” he says.
I nod and lean in, making the same wish I made earlier today. I wish for Carter, Kate and I to all be happy. I blow out the candle and Carter hands me a spoon.
“I forgot to grab plates, but I’ve got a spoon,” he says. He smiles awkwardly and I take it from him. I hold out a bite for him and his lips close around the spoon. He takes it from me and then holds it out in front of me to offer me a bite. Just as I’m about to lean in, he smears cake all over my lips.
I gasp.
“You… you devil!” I shout. Carter bursts out laughing.
“I’m sorry, baby. I just couldn’t help myself,” he says. Carter leans in and pinches my chin gently. My heart starts racing when he smiles at me before kissing the edge of my lips. I feel his tongue glide over my skin and I inhale sharply. He sucks on the edge of my lips and groans softly.
He makes quick work of the smeared cake, and I’m all worked up by the time he’s done with me. So close, yet he didn’t actually kiss me. I sigh when he pulls away. He’s breathing hard, so at least I know he’s as affected as I am. He reaches back into what I’ve dubbed his bag of mysteries and takes out a small cardboard box. I frown when he puts his phone inside it, only to look up in amazement when I realize that the flimsy little box acts as a projector; a pretty good one, at that. The hanging sheet instantly transforms into a movie theatre screen and I look at it excitedly as Carter puts Netflix on.
“So, I have it on pretty good authority that The Notebook is the cheesiest chick flick out there, A.K.A Google told me. Do you wanna watch that, or should we watch something else?”
I hesitate for a second. I actually don’t even like The Notebook all that much, but I’ll watch anything with Carter. “Yeah, let’s watch that.”
He puts it on and then rushes back to me. I lift the blankets, and he joins me underneath them while he props some pillows up behind us. I lie down in his arms and look up at the screen, but all I can think about is how close he is to me. He’s wearing sweats and a tee, and all my mind can focus on is how easy it’d be to get those off. We haven’t gotten together in months now. We’ve both done our best to stay friends and nothing more, but I know he wants me as much as I want him.
Carter squirms when I shift in his arms. Every time I get closer, he pulls away a little. It’s frustrating as hell. Eventually I get the hint and push away from him. I try my best not to pout or sulk. I don’t want him to feel pressured into giving me something he doesn’t want to. I wrap my arms around myself and hug my knees to my chest, turning myself into a little ball. He’s salvaged the train wreck that was my birthday, and I still have the gall to feel upset. Maybe my dad was right. I really am ungrateful.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Carter asks. I look up at him and shake my head, trying my best to smile at him as innocently as I can. I don’t want him to know how rejected I feel. He frowns and pulls me back to him. He lies on his side so we’re both facing each other.
“Tired?” he asks. “I know it’s late… we don’t have to do this. We can just go back if you want. I didn’t really think about how tired you might be. I literally pulled you out of bed.”
My body is so close to his and my heart is racing. He looks at me with his gorgeous hazel eyes and I fall a little deeper. I’m done for. My hand cups his cheek gently and he blinks, startled, but he doesn’t move away from me.
Would it be okay if I’m just selfish tonight? Would it be okay if I just forget about Kate and our families for a single night? I bite down on my lip in contemplation and Carter’s eyes follow my every movement. His breathing accelerates and he swallows hard. I’m as acutely aware of him as he is of me. My eyes drop to his lips, and I move in a little closer. Just one kiss. Would that be too much to ask for?
“Emilia,” he whispers. I look into his eyes and find the same desire reflected in them. I lean in closer until my lips brush against his. That’s all it takes for Carter to snap. He captures my lips with his and rolls on top of me, pinning me down with his weight. I moan in delight when he pushes his hard on between my legs.
“Fuck, Emilia,” he whispers. His tongue slides over my lips, and I open up for him, tangling my tongue with his. I’ll never get enough of the way he kisses me. His hands roam over my body until they find their way underneath his hoodie and I moan. He holds me right below my chest. I whimper a little and he chuckles as his fingers glide over the underside of my breasts. I didn’t think he could get any harder, but he does. The way he’s pushing against me is almost painful.
“I want you,” I whisper. “Just for one night, Carter. Can I call you mine just for tonight?”
He pauses and pushes himself up a little to look at me, the sweetest smile on his face. “Emilia, I’ve always been yours. I’ll always be yours,” he says solemnly. If only that could be true. I sigh and pull him back to me, his lips crashing against mine. It reminds me of the way I awkwardly kissed him that very first time, and I giggle against his lips. Carter smiles and kisses me while my hands roam over his body. I pull his t-shirt up and he stops kissing me only long enough to let me take it off.
I don’t stop there, and he soon realizes what I’m up to. He looks at me heatedly as he helps me take off the hoodie I’m wearing, and the rest of our clothes soon follow. At last we’re naked together for the first time since we went skinny dipping, and it couldn’t have felt more perfect. Carter settles back on top of me and his erection presses against me. He rests his forehead against mine and inhales deeply.
“I want to touch you,” he whispers, and I nod eagerly. Carter smiles as his trembling hand traces my inner thigh until he’s finally touching me where I want him. He kisses me and moans when he realizes just how wet I am.
“Fuck, Minx,” he whispers. I feel frantic and turned on beyond reason. I need him to touch me. I need more. I look up at him pleadingly and he grins when his fingers find their way between my legs. They brush against my slick heat and a soft moan escapes my lips. “You’re really wet, Minx,” he whispers. I feel myself blush as he pushes a finger inside me. “Emilia, I don’t really know what I’m doing,” he admits nervously. He seems anxious and clumsy, and I can’t help but giggle against his lips. I place my hand over his and guide his fingers so his thumb touches me right where I want it. He keeps up the movements I showed him, and I slowly but surely lose control.
I’m frantic as I boldly wrap my hands around his erection. I still remember how he touched himself, how he pumped up and down until he lost control. In my mind I’ve replayed the scene I watched over and over again, imagining that it’s my hands touching him in his bed. Now I finally get to do it.
The pace Carter touches me with increases and within minutes I’m close.
“Carter, I can’t hold on,” I whisper. He deepens our kiss and smothers all my moans with his lips. I moan his name as I shatter and Carter’s eyes fall closed. Seconds later he comes all over my stomach. The way he’s panting afterwards and the little whimpers that escape his lips are hot as hell. He drops his forehead to mine and smiles at me.
“Fucking amazing,” he whispers, and I nod shyly, in full agreement. I giggle and he laughs before kissing me again. He sits up and reaches for his bag.
“I brought napkins… they were actually for the cake,” he says awkwardly. He wipes me clean and then lies down, opening his arms for me. I settle into his embrace as he yawns.
I look up at him and smile. I can’t remember the last time I was this intensely happy. I lift my face and kiss his cheek gently. I’m filled to the brim with love and affection. I’m not sure I can even hold the words in much longer. It’s like those three little words are fighting to burst out. I want to tell Carter that I love him, but I know it wouldn’t be fair to say it when I know we can’t be together. I know Carter wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he and I ended up making both Helen and Kate unhappy. The love and respect he has for his mother and sister is one of the things I admire most about him. Neither one of us would be able to forgive ourselves if our dating destroyed the delicate balance that’s in place now.
Carter and I stay cuddled up together and actually manage to watch the remainder of The Notebook. I don’t think my birthday could’ve been any more perfect. If only things could always be like this between us.
