“Forest.” I could barely move my mouth; my bottom lip was swollen from a sting just beneath it.
“Great God.” He kept staring, his mouth working shapes without words.
I folded my arms across my breasts. “Help.” I sank to my knees in the water.
“What are you?” Confusion mingled with disbelief on his face. He stood, arms by his sides, unmoving.
My pulse rang in my ears, and everything around me began to swim. I reached for the shirt, which was starting to float slowly away. I missed it.
Forest jumped into action, pulling off his boots and wading into the water toward me. “Hornets?”
“Yes,” I said, cringing at the pain in my lip.
He grabbed the shirt and laid it gingerly across my shoulders. Then he offered his arm, gaze averted. I wrapped my hands around it and leaned on him, but the pain was too great, and I stumbled, my legs buckling beneath me. Forest caught me under the arms and half-dragged, half-carried me to the bank, where I collapsed onto my back.
He threw the wet shirt over my breasts and sat beside me. “You’re lucky I came looking for you.”
“Not so lucky.”
I tried to read his face, but it was too guarded. The initial shock had been replaced by something more controlled. Like a wall had gone up between us.
“I’ll make some mud,” he said.
I closed my eyes, pain throbbing through me from every place that had been stung. I wanted to fold myself and hide my femaleness, but it hurt too much to move. So I waited while Forest did whatever he was doing, until finally he sat by my side. Then I opened my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
Forest was busy scraping bits of what looked like a gnarled root into a sloppy patch of mud. “This will help with the swelling.”
“Forest—”
“Stop.”
I nodded, my eyes stinging with tears. He had every right to go straight to Jasper and tell him the truth about me. Maybe that was what he would do, in the end. I wouldn’t blame him.
“You’re going to have to sit up,” he said. “Each sting needs to be covered, and then you’ll have to let it dry. It shouldn’t take long.”
He helped me sit, and I held the wet shirt feebly to my chest. I couldn’t look at him.
Gently, he took the shirt from me. “I won’t look.”
I didn’t see how that was possible. At least two of the stings were on my torso, and my left armpit was throbbing, too. But I didn’t fight him. I was a compliant statue, sitting still until he needed me to raise my arm or tilt my head.
The mud was cool against the heat of my skin, the hard knots at each sting mark momentarily soothed by Forest’s touch, which was softer than I would have imagined. I was too numb to be embarrassed while he treated the stings on my torso and under my arm. When he’d dealt with all the stings he could find on the top half of me, he helped me stand so he could check my legs.
“You must’ve gotten into the water quickly. Most of the stings are on your upper body.”
It was the first he’d spoken since he started smearing the mud on me. I stared at the top of his head as he examined the front of my legs and my feet, closing my eyes as he found the sting just below the curve of my buttocks. It was even more awkward than the armpit had been.
He stepped around to the front of me and, with his thumb, coated the sting beneath my swollen lip with mud, never quite looking at me the whole time. When he’d finished, he rested his eyes on mine.
“You’ll have to stand there until the mud dries. I’ll keep watch.”
He walked away before I could summon the courage to thank him. I turned my head in time to see him disappear around the bend of the stream, just beyond the trees. A buzzing insect swooped across the water, and I gasped before I realized it was only a lacefly. Even so, my heart wouldn’t stop pounding.
I stood there, completely exposed, for what felt like an entire day. The mud dried against my skin, bringing more comfort than I’d imagined. Every time I moved even a little, though, I ached. And whenever I heard a distant shout or round of laughter, it took every bit of my Neshu control not to jump into the water and hide.
Finally, Forest returned. I waited while he gave my body a quick look-over. Without a word, he retrieved my strips of cloth from the tree branches and brought them to me.
“This is your disguise?” He waited for my nod. “Do you need help?”
I shook my head and grabbed the strips from him, unable to bear another second of my nakedness. He turned his back, and I struggled to bind myself with the still-damp strips. I should have asked for his help, and probably I still could have—but I wouldn’t allow myself to. He had done enough already.
I made the bindings as tight as I could bear, but they didn’t feel secure enough. The stings on my arms were swollen, making them ache with every movement, and my armpit throbbed where the top edge of the binding pressed against the sting. I secured the binding as well as I could.
“I’m finished.”
Forest turned around and assessed me briefly before picking up my shirt and giving it several shakes. He handed it to me, watching as I pulled it gingerly over my head and eased my arms through the sleeves. Then he reached to pick up something from the bank. As he approached me, I saw that it was my discarded hair tie. He stood behind me and pulled my hair into a bun, taking as much care as I might’ve done myself. When he was finished, he stood behind me, not moving.
“I’ve been thinking what to do,” he said. “They’ll arrest you and charge you as a thief without a trial.”
“Yes.” I barely rasped the word.
“I could bring you some supplies—enough for a few days. You could find your way to Grigsbane and present yourself as who you really are. I’ll tell Jasper that you’ve deserted, and they’ll never find you, because they won’t be looking for a girl.”
My throat was tight, and I couldn’t speak. He was offering more than I deserved, but his words were cold. There was nothing I could say.
He came from behind and stood where we could face each other. “But I think you must have your reasons for doing this. So if you want me to keep your secret, I will.”
I stared at him, not even certain that I’d heard him correctly. “You would do that?”
“I would.”
My mouth opened on its own, wanting to say more, but no words were sufficient. I knew he was waiting for me to make a choice—to take the path that would be easier for both of us, or to accept his offer to partner with my deception, putting himself at almost equal risk.
“I don’t want to make things harder for you,” I said.
“It’s your choice, Storm.” He winced, as though suddenly the name didn’t fit.
Of course it didn’t.
“I … want to stay,” I said. “I have to stay.”
He nodded once, as though the whole thing were settled. “Go rest. I’m going to see if I can find some wild tenepa. It’s past blooming season, but it’s the leaves I’ll need, anyway. It’ll help draw the venom out and reduce the swelling.”
“Thank you.” I swallowed away the grateful tears that wanted to spill. “I don’t know … I can’t think of a way to…”
“I think you’d do the same for me.”
I waited for him to smile, or for any kind of softening of his countenance. But the bland, controlled expression stayed in place, and Forest was carefully hidden behind it.
He walked away without another word. Slowly, I retrieved my wet clothes and my boots, which I stepped into without too much difficulty. Then I made my way across the field back to camp, a dull throb pulsing through my limbs with every beat of my heart. The dried mud on my face was tight, and my lip felt the size of a melon. If I could just rest for a while inside my tent, the pain of the stings would surely settle, and the swelling reduce.
I spread my clothes on the grass not far from the tents, figuring I wouldn’t feel like walking all the way back to where everyone else’s clothes were drying. It wasn’t until I had sprawled onto the blanket inside my tent that I remembered the Neshu match. My spirits, which were already low, plummeted further. With the way I was feeling, there was no chance I would succeed against any Neshu opponent. Even the thought of crossing my arms and making the initial bow made me wilt.
I lay for what felt like a long time, listening to the sounds outside and catching snatches of conversation about the upcoming competitions. Soon I heard the arrival of the soldiers from Grigsbane, and the called greetings among officers and friends alike. There seemed to be a lightness in the camp, a sense of holiday. If that had been Jasper’s intention, he’d succeeded.
Drowsiness had begun to worm its way through me by the time the tent flap parted and Forest ducked inside, a steaming cup in his hand. I sat up, stifling a groan.
“Drink this,” he said, offering the cup. “There was nothing to sweeten it with, so it’s fairly bitter.”
I took the cup and sniffed the steam—it had a sour, earthy smell. I sipped it, grimacing as I swallowed.
“I warned you,” Forest said.
“It’s not bad,” I lied. “Thank you.”
“If you finish the whole cup, it should work quickly,” Forest said. “But if you need more later, I have enough tenepa leaves for another cup or two.”
“That’s very kind, Forest.” His knowledge of medicinal plants amazed me—I didn’t know of much beyond Tenema’s abundant avila.
He rose on one knee, ready to leave. “Do you want me to tell Commander Jasper that he needs to find someone else for the Neshu match?”
I tightened my hands around the mug, then loosened them because it was so hot. “No. I’ll be fine.”
Forest stared at me for a few seconds, looking as though he might say something else. But he simply nodded. “S’da.”
I watched the tent flap fall behind him and stared at it. Earlier, I had longed to touch his face, to offer him my very female heart. Now that he’d found out the truth, I felt exposed and false, and it was obvious what he thought of me.
No matter. I owed him my life, and I would do my best to deserve it.
The soldiers stood in a large ring in the middle of the field of drill. To the west, the earth had been dug up and trampled by the rope pulls, which proved a fairly matched level of skill among the different units. I watched Jasper stride to the center of the circle, my stomach in knots, my torso aching from the pressure of the bindings against the stings. I had washed the mud from my face and limbs, and, thanks to Forest’s tea, the swelling had gone down considerably.
“Are you sure about this?” Forest asked.
“I’m sure.” I clenched and unclenched my hands and took a long, cool breath.
Masterful control, Papa would say. From a distance, no one would guess you were a girl.
Would they guess that I had been stung at least a dozen times, though? That my movements would be restricted not only by tight bindings, but by the pain and swelling?
“Captain Lisbet and Storm L’nahn to the center!” Jasper called.
I made my way to the center, amid a chorus of shouts that occasionally included my name. Dalen, I knew, had placed money on my winning, which didn’t help me relax.
Lisbet stood a head and a half taller. Papa would have reminded me that height didn’t matter—that I could learn to read any enemy and anticipate his moves, and that eight or ten inches would not make a difference in my ability to knock someone down.
This is for you, Papa.
The crowd quieted as Captain Lisbet and I assumed the first stance. We bowed and then took the requisite time to size each other up. The slight curl to his upper lip told me that he considered me an easy defeat—and also that his overconfidence would ultimately be his weakness.
We assumed the second stance. I kept my face serene, hiding the discomfort I was already feeling beneath my bindings as I straightened my back. Seconds slid by. I breathed.
We engaged, both of us easily anticipating the other. I matched him move for move, blocked him with the speed Papa had always praised me for, and was quick with my knife hand. He was a worthy opponent, forcing me to think fast to keep a beat ahead of him. If it weren’t for the pain, I would have finished him quickly.
I felt myself slowing sooner than I had ever slowed before. My chest heaved, and, as we circled each other, my concentration frayed. Each breath compressed the stings beneath my bindings, and each heartbeat pulsed pain into them. It wasn’t debilitating, but it was distracting.
Quiet your breathing, Rain, I heard Papa say. I steeled myself against the discomfort and exhaled slowly, a thin stream through my dry lips. Then I redoubled my efforts, determined not to let my weakness show. Lisbet matched me, his stride long, his knife arm deadly. If this had been a true enemy, I could not have allowed myself any hesitation or lack of effort. When I saw my opening, I gave the Great Cry and dealt him the blow that sent him onto his back.
Cheers erupted as I helped him up and faced him. The sneer was no longer on his face.
“As the sun rises,” he said, bowing.
I returned his bow. “So it sets.”
My unit members were jubilant as I returned to their ranks, cheering and slapping me on the back to the point where Forest intervened by slinging his arm around my shoulders and offering me water. My legs collapsed under me, and I sat hard upon the ground.
Forest squatted, still holding the cup of water. “How are you?”
“Fine.” I took the water and gulped half of it down. My entire body ached.
“That was amazing.” Forest wasn’t quite looking at me, something it seemed I’d have to get used to.
“Neshu is my strength,” I said.
“But you were attacked by hornets a few hours ago, and—”
I pressed my mouth into a hard line, mentally completing the sentence he’d cut off: “—you’re a girl.” Already he was measuring my ability by the fact that I wasn’t male.
The second match was ready to begin. I watched the contenders—Captain L’narah and Commander Beldan—face each other and assume the first stance. They were equal in size and stature, and I tried to guess which would be the faster and which the stronger.
Within seconds, it was clear that Commander Beldan’s skill far surpassed the other’s. His moves were perfect, seamless. It took less than two minutes for him to defeat his rival.
I stared as the fighters bowed to each other. “He’s good,” I said to Forest.
“You’re better.”
Under normal circumstances, I would have faced this opponent with confidence. My limbs were sore, and the stings beneath my bindings must have become irritated, because my entire torso throbbed and itched.
“A five-minute rest until the final round!” Jasper called.
I glanced at Captain Beldan; he was smiling and chatting lightly with several others. I didn’t think he needed a single minute of rest.
“Can you do this?” Forest asked.
I didn’t think I could. “Yes.”
I drank the rest of my water, then rose and stretched, wincing at the pain. Jasper called us to the center, and I straightened my shoulders.
As I walked toward my opponent, a wave of dizziness swept over me. I paused, closing my eyes momentarily while the sensation passed. When I opened my eyes, Jasper was standing in front of me.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
I breathed out slowly. “No, sir. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re not hurt, are you?”
“No.” Was this lying? “Just a hornet sting or two.”
For a moment, Jasper looked unsure. Then he stepped aside and let me approach my opponent.
We bowed and assumed the first stance. Like everyone else in the camp, Commander Beldan was taller than I. There wasn’t a trace of smugness or overconfidence on his face; only the calm, centered expression that spoke of his Neshu mastery.
I felt uncomfortably warm, and my pulse pounded in my temples. If any sign of discomfort showed on my face, Commander Beldan didn’t react to it. He met my gaze coolly as we assumed the second stance.
At first, I was ahead of him. I felt the power of having the upper hand and paced myself to keep him from realizing it. But by the time we were circling each other for the second round, my head had started to swim again, and I suddenly found it difficult to breathe. Twice, he blocked my knife arm when I should have easily circumvented him. Twice, I stumbled when I should have been nimble.
The blow to my chest came at the same time another wave of dizziness washed over me. I staggered, knowing exactly what I needed to do in order to recover.
I couldn’t do it. My opponent’s face tilted and swirled as I fell to the ground.
