Almost four weeks later, I stood outside the double doors to the high king’s Majestic Hall, adorned in the traditional white and gold tunic of an honored soldier, my hair hanging free. Forest stood beside me, with Jasper in front, both wearing the same tunics, Jasper’s with a thick purple braid across his shoulders, signifying his rank. The others stood behind us.
I had barely seen them since our arrival at the palace three days earlier, after nearly two weeks of slow travel from the hold. The room I’d been assigned was separate from the others, down a long, ornate hallway with complete privacy. It didn’t feel like a demotion, though; it felt like an honor. I’d received the gift of my life and the high king’s blessing, but I was very much a girl again. Or perhaps a woman.
And I didn’t mind.
“I wish this were over with.” My voice, once deepened by the dragon powder, sounded normal again.
“So do I.” Forest didn’t look at me. But in the past month, I’d grown used to it.
“I wrote home,” I said, desperate to break the silence. “As soon as we arrived. But the messengers are running extra slow, they say. I’m afraid I may get there before my letter does.”
“I wrote home, too.” His voiced hitched on the final word, and he pressed his mouth shut, his eyes still not meeting mine.
I sighed. “Forest…”
“There’s nothing more to say, s’da?”
“Will you at least let me thank you?” I fought to keep my voice from wobbling. “When you found out the truth about me, you didn’t treat me differently. I wanted to be a soldier instead of staying home and getting married and sewing things. And you embraced me for who I was. I didn’t think that was possible.”
Forest’s gaze had the depth of a thousand oceans. “You’re easy to embrace,” he said softly.
The doors opened, and we were ushered into the presence of the high king. I blinked, my eyes dazzled by the reflection of sunlight from the walls of the Majestic Hall, which were overlaid with gold. The ceiling, also gilded, soared to such a height that looking up made me dizzy. Standing to either side of the roped-off pathway, thousands of citizens stood packed together like fish at market, waiting for a glimpse of the girl who had awakened the dragons.
I focused on the high king instead of the ogling masses. We walked slowly, as we’d been instructed, though I wished I could run.
Has the high king honored you yet?
I smiled at the sound of Nuaga’s voice, which I could now hear freely. I’m walking toward him now. Don’t distract me.
Her laughter bubbled through my head. Does he know we’re coming?
I’m sure he does.
Nuaga’s words were infused with joy. We’ll talk later, Rain L’nahn.
When finally we stood before the high king, the hall quieted into a deep hush. He spoke at length, telling the tale of his time in the hold, the despair of believing the kingdom would fall to the nomads, and the story of my arrival and how I had awakened the dragons and led Tan Vey to his death. His ringing voice was the only sound in the chamber, as though everyone had decided not to breathe until he finished.
Once the story had been told, he asked us to turn around and face the crowd. “These men—and this woman—are the last standing soldiers of their unit. Together, they made it possible for the dragons to be awakened and our kingdom to be saved. I offer them all my eternal honor.”
My face grew hot as applause and cheering erupted, and it grew hotter still when the high king laid his hand on my shoulder and bade everyone be quiet.
“To this woman alone, I give highest honors, and name her Rain L’nahn Ylanda, Dragon-Waker.”
At this, the applause and cheering doubled, as I tried desperately to grasp what the high king had just said. Ylanda? Had he given me his own surname? Confusion washed over me as he turned me to face him and addressed me with a softer voice.
“It is my wish to grant you a position here,” he said, “and bestow upon you whatever your heart desires. Ask, and it is yours.”
I felt breathless—overcome by this outpouring of his kindness. What could I possibly ask? The aching desire of my heart was for Forest, but I couldn’t ask for him, even if the high king himself paved the way.
Wouldn’t ask.
“I only wish to go home,” I said. “And … perhaps to repay my father the dowry money he entrusted to me.”
The high king smiled. “So it shall be, Rain L’nahn Ylanda—this, and tenfold.” He repeated my request to the waiting crowd, who cheered yet again.
I waited until the tumult quieted, and then I summoned my courage. “Your Majesty,” I said. “My other desire is to become a Neshu grandmaster—to train both boys and girls in this ancient and sacred martial art. I wondered if … if you…”
“If I would lift the ban on women participating in our Neshu traditions?”
I raised my eyes to his and swore I saw a twinkle there—the last thing I expected. “Yes.”
The high king pressed his hands together, fingertip to fingertip. “You have already shaken the foundations of long-held beliefs about what women can do. Considering your contribution to the kingdom of Ylanda and Commander Dane’s commendation of your skills, I can think of no better use for your talents. You have my permission and my blessing to become a grandmaster.”
This time, there were a few moments of silence before the crowd applauded, as if they weren’t sure how to receive his words. As the clapping increased, I bowed low before my high king, words failing me.
When I rose, I was unable to contain my smile. “Thank you.”
Color and movement suddenly filled the tall, narrow windows on both sides of the hall, and a collective gasp rang out as shadows darkened the sunlight. I looked up to see dragons lined up outside both rows of windows, their majestic necks arched proudly. My heart swelled as I searched for Nuaga among them, but I couldn’t find her for the sheer number of them.
The high king raised his arms and shouted, “We welcome you, dragons! And we thank you!”
After a slight hesitation, the crowd echoed his words, raising their arms and shouting their welcome and thanks to the mighty dragons, who bowed their heads in acknowledgment. I was proud to be counted as one of their clan.
Proud and humbled.
But I was relieved when we were dismissed.
Three smart rows of the high king’s guard led us down a wide, gilded hallway to a small banquet room festooned with colorful silk banners. The high king’s chair at the head of the table stood waiting, and I took my assigned place to the left of it. Jasper sat on my right. When I tried to meet Forest’s gaze across the table, he looked pointedly at Dalen, who sat beside him.
“I’ll miss the food here,” Dalen said, eyeing the steaming dishes as servants laid them on the table. “Especially the sauces.”
River laughed. “I pity your wife.”
I looked at Jasper, who was running his finger along the edge of his goblet. “Will you be happy here?”
“I’m honored that His Majesty wants me,” Jasper said. “And I still don’t understand why you don’t want to be in my elite Neshu unit. You deserve the honor more than I do.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You don’t mind girls who fight Neshu after all?”
For a moment, he looked sheepish. “I can’t imagine there are many girls like you.”
There will be, once I start training them. “You didn’t answer my question.”
As Jasper opened his mouth, the high king entered with his son, the crown prince. We all rose, but he waved us back to our seats as he made his way to the head of the table.
“You’ve changed the world, Rain L’nahn,” Jasper whispered as we sat.
I smiled, his words warming me like a sunrise.
The high king took his seat and raised his goblet. “One final feast with the woman—and the men—who saved our kingdom. Today is a fine day to be high king of Ylanda!”
We raised our goblets and cried, “Ylanda!” The avila liqueur was rich and smooth in my mouth, some of the finest from Tenema’s distilleries. A taste of home.
It was where I longed to be.
I stood beside the golden carriage in the fading light of dusk. True to his word, the high king had filled a chest with ten times the amount of money Papa had given me, as well as a trunk filled with beautiful silks and linens, enough for Mama to sew a lifetime of clothing. The gifts were packed in the carriage, along with a smaller trunk of personal items the high king had given me—mostly clothing, but also an exquisite dagger, which meant more than any other gift.
“Rain.”
My heart melted at the sound of Forest’s voice. I turned to him, arranging my face in what I hoped was a convincing smile.
“Ready for our journey?” I asked.
“I’m not coming,” he said.
My smile fell. “What do you mean?”
“I’m going to ride with River as far as Grigsbane, and I’ll pick up my donkey from my uncle’s and ride home from there.”
“But … we live so close to each other, and—”
“Rain.” He stepped close and cupped my face in his hands. “There’s no point in drawing out the pain. Every moment I’m with you reminds me that I can’t have you. We have to let go. Say goodbye.”
Tears I’d promised myself I wouldn’t allow to fall defied me, spilling into Forest’s hands. “I know, but…”
“I’ll be good to your sister. I’ll try to make her happy.”
“She’ll love you for it.” I could barely choke the words out.
We kissed, and I clung to him, burying myself in his warmth and the sweet taste of his mouth. I wanted to linger, but, with a will greater than I thought I had, I untangled myself from him.
“I’ll always love you,” I said.
He took my hand and pressed his lips to it, blinking back tears. Then he turned abruptly and disappeared into the shadows.
My heart was colder than the wind.
