I leaned against the office door as I pulled the grubby black apron from around my waist. My mom’s head was lowered over her desk as she concentrated on various documents spread out before her. From the deep line between her eyebrows, I could tell they were bills and she was worrying about how to pay them. Rent for the premises had gone up yet again, which made the broken air conditioner an especially unwelcome expense. She couldn’t afford to fix it, and she definitely couldn’t afford a day like today without any customers. Not at the busiest time of year.
She looked tired. Not that Mom would ever admit it. Candice Grace was stubborn and determined. She could be falling asleep at her desk and still insist she was fresh as a daisy and keep working.
As I placed my apron on the table just inside the door, she glanced up from her stack of bills. “You’re not ready,” she said. “Why aren’t you ready?”
“I got held up at the end of my shift. It’ll only take me a minute to change.”
“A minute? You don’t have a minute! You’re going to miss your bus…” Her voice was filled with an urgency I just didn’t feel.
“Would that really be a bad thing?”
She folded her arms across her chest and lifted her eyebrows in response.
“Okay, okay. I’ll be quick.” I turned and dashed upstairs to our apartment. There was no time for me to shower or even run a brush through my hair. I simply changed out of my work T-shirt, threw on the first clean clothes I could find, and grabbed the backpack I’d packed the night before. It was probably a good thing I didn’t have time to contemplate what I was getting ready for. If I did, I doubted I’d be able to leave the apartment at all.
Mom was waiting for me in her car as I rushed back downstairs. The rusty old vehicle was considered ancient when she bought it ten years ago and, like the café’s air conditioner, it had been running on borrowed time for a while now.
“You didn’t do your hair,” Mom said as I jumped into the passenger seat. She let out a long sigh, and I could hear every ounce of her exhaustion in the breath. She needed a break from work. Even just a couple of days off would do her wonders. I knew she’d never take it though. Not when this place was the one love in her life other than me. She poured everything she had into it.
“Well, the choice was either do my hair or catch my bus. I figured you’d prefer the latter.”
Mom muttered something under her breath, but I didn’t catch it as she turned the key in the ignition and the car spluttered to life. I glanced out the window and up at the old Beach Street Café sign that hung over the entrance to the restaurant. I was only going to be gone for one weekend, but I knew I would miss everything about this place. From the faded blue-and-white-striped awning out front to the smell of bacon that infused every inch of the kitchen and restaurant each morning. I was even going to miss the early starts and the crazy customers.
As we pulled away from the curb, I slumped in my seat and turned my attention to the road ahead. Just a block away, a line of people was building up outside the newly opened Starbucks. My mom didn’t seem to notice though. Her eyes were fixed on the road, and her fingers were tapping against the steering wheel. She must have been just as anxious about today as I was.
“Have you got your bus ticket?”
“Yes.”
“And you’ve got the cash I gave you to get a cab when you arrive?”
“Mom, you went over this a million times last night. I’ve got everything I need.”
She slowly nodded and then glanced at me. “How are you feeling?”
I shrugged and looked out the window. It was only now I’d had a minute to stop that the reality of where I was going was starting to sink in. I couldn’t deny it any longer.
“It’s understandable if you feel nervous…”
“I’m not nervous.” My conviction surprised me. I felt a lot of things about this trip, mainly anger, but my nerves seemed to have subsided somewhat. Facing Nina and Levi had been difficult, but I’d come through it. If I could handle them, maybe I could also handle him.
“But it would be completely natural if you were nervous,” my mom continued. “Talk to me.”
“You already know how I feel,” I told her. “You know I don’t want to do this. I don’t get why you think it’s such a good idea.”
“Isobel… you know why.”
“Do I? Because the last seventeen years of my life have been perfectly fine without Matthew LaFleur.” My skin bristled as I said his name out loud. Matthew LaFleur. It was a name I tended to avoid saying. One that had only been uttered a handful of times in our house over the years, but this past week, I’d been hearing it far too frequently.
“He’s your father,” Mom said. “You need to give him a chance.”
I sunk farther in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest. Some father. The man was a total stranger to me, and now I was being forced to travel to some town I’d never heard of so I could meet him. I still couldn’t understand why my mom was making me do this. She said it was because I was old enough now that I should know where I came from. But I was quite happy to leave that a mystery. The two of us had been perfectly fine without him in our lives so far. Why did she have to go and ruin things?
We stayed silent until Mom pulled up at the bus station. Despite my mad hurry to get ready, we’d arrived slightly early, and I still had a few minutes before my bus arrived.
“Isobel, before you go, there is something you should know about Matthew.”
“Something? I know nothing about him, Mom. And I’m happy to keep it that way. The guy knocked you up then abandoned you. That’s all I need to know.”
She rarely talked about my father until recently and had only ever given me the most obscure explanations for why he wasn’t in our life. As a kid, she’d told me he couldn’t be with us because he lived in a different world. For years, I’d wondered where he might be, imagining he was a prince stuck in some faraway land. It didn’t take long before I snapped out of the fairy tales and back to reality though. The reason he wasn’t around was simple: he didn’t want to be. So, it didn’t matter where he was, as long as it was far away from us.
Mom had often said we were better off without him, and I’d accepted that a long time ago. I wasn’t sure why she’d suddenly changed her mind or why she was so desperate for me to meet a man she’d kept from me my whole life. It didn’t make any sense, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get it over with.
“You know it’s not as simple as that,” she said. “There were circumstances—”
“Circumstances? Mom, stop acting like he’s not the bad guy.”
She blew out a long breath. “Things with Matthew are just complicated. If anything, I’m the one you should be angry with.”
“I don’t know why you’re suddenly defending him.” I honestly didn’t understand how my mom could possibly think she was the one in the wrong.
“Well…” My mom started to speak but then paused and let out another long breath. “Like I said, it’s complicated. I’m sorry, there’s just so much you don’t know about him…”
“Which is apparently why we have to meet. Do we need to talk about this now? I’ve got to catch my bus.”
“I just don’t want you to be surprised when you get there.”
“Has the guy got a second head?”
“No—”
“Is his skin a shade of Avatar blue?”
“Of course not.”
“Then I’m sure I won’t be surprised.”
“But—”
“Mom, like I’ve told you a million times this week, I’m just meeting this guy to make you happy and then I’m going to come home and go back to pretending I was an immaculate conception.”
“Isobel…” Her voice trailed off as my bus pulled up at the stop.
“I’ve got to go.” I opened the car door and climbed out, but when I turned to shut the door behind me, I was met with my mom’s sad eyes. I might have been angry about meeting my father, but it wasn’t fair to take it out on her. She’d only ever wanted what was best for me. I didn’t want to leave things this way.
“It’s going to be fine, Mom.” My voice had turned soft. “My expectations of the guy are about as low as you can get, but I’ll give him a chance. For you.”
She slowly nodded, but the sadness in her eyes didn’t dissipate. She looked like she wanted to cry, which only made me feel worse. I rarely got angry with my mom, and I hated myself for being short with her. I climbed back into the car and reached across the center console to give her a hug.
“I’m sorry to put all this pressure on you, Isobel,” she said as she wrapped her arms around me. “I know it’s already been a tough year. But I promise everything is going to be okay.”
“I know,” I replied. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.” She squeezed me tightly before pulling away and then flashed me a smile, but it didn’t quite seem to reach her eyes. “Call me when you get there, okay?”
“I will.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed and then nodded toward the bus. “You better get going.”
I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before hurrying from the car. The bus was making a steady rumbling chuff as it idled by the curb, and my stomach tied itself up in knots as I slowly made my way aboard. I rarely left Rapid Bay and had never embarked on a trip this big on my own. I kept trying to convince myself it was just the journey that had me on edge, but I knew that was only partially true.
I found a window seat toward the back, and as I peered outside, I saw my mom was still waiting in her car watching me. The concern in her eyes was clear even at a distance, and I wondered whether she was finding it hard because I was leaving or because of the man she knew was waiting for me at the other end of the journey.
I pressed my hand against the window, and she gave me a sad wave in return. I’d be back in a couple of days, so she really didn’t have to worry.
As the bus pulled away from the curb, I leaned back in my seat and stared out the window, watching Rapid Bay quickly disappear into the distance.
I’d told my mom I didn’t want to know my father—that I wasn’t interested in anything other than getting this meeting over and done with. But the longer I sat with my thoughts, the more anxious I became. I knew practically nothing about this man. We shared some DNA, but that was it. Matthew LaFleur was a total mystery to me. Who was he? And why was it so important I meet him after all these years? I was about to find out whether I wanted to or not.
