The library was in a wing of the main school building I hadn’t entered yet, and it was so big it took up several floors. So much of the school was modern with sleek white walls and metal appliances, but the library retained an older charm with a gorgeous carved ceiling high above the tall wooden bookcases that lined the walls of each level.
I’d arrived slightly early to meet Wes, so instead of heading for the study area, I wandered through the stacks. I wasn’t even looking for a particular book; I just enjoyed immersing myself in the slightly musty smell of old pages and dust wafting through the air.
“So, this is where you like to hang out.”
I turned to find Noah standing behind me, a book clutched to his chest. I was surprised to see him in the library. The backdrop of desks and books seemed to suit him, a little like he was some sexy nerd who’d stepped right out of a romance novel.
I swallowed and quickly shook my head. “No, just tonight. I came here to study. Though, after getting a look at this place, I’m tempted to come back more often.”
His expression softened. “Yeah, I like it here too. I have a thing for old, elegant libraries like this.”
“I think I might have a thing for them too.” I’d never actually been in one so beautiful before, but now that I had, I kind of wanted to see as many beautiful libraries as I could.
“You didn’t come to the boathouse on Saturday night.”
He sounded disappointed, but I shrugged and glanced away, walking over to one of the shelves to trace my fingers over the spines of a few books. The titles all described dragons or quests, so I assumed I’d found my way to the fantasy section of the library. “I was pretty tired after a big first week.”
Noah stepped forward and leaned against the shelf in front of me. I stopped in my tracks and pulled my hand away from the bookshelf. If my finger had continued on its path along the books’ spines, it would have ended up right on his chest.
“Yeah, Cress said you weren’t feeling up to it.”
My cheeks warmed at the idea Noah had asked his cousin about me. I didn’t know why I thought that was a big deal.
“Maybe you’ll be feeling better and can make it this Saturday instead?” he asked.
I swallowed and peered up at him. He was standing just a fraction too close for my liking. Then again, it was Noah. He could have been standing at the far end of the library and his presence still would have caused my skin to tingle. This boy did something to my heart whenever he was near. The way he was watching my lips as he waited for my answer didn’t help either.
He slowly started to smile. “So, what do you think?”
I wished he hadn’t smiled. It made my knees feel weak, and I struggled to think clearly when he looked at me like that. “You’re asking me to come to the boathouse again?”
“Well, yeah. And I’m hoping maybe you’ll actually make it this time.”
I frowned. “Why do you care if I make it or not?”
“Maybe if you come this weekend, you’ll find out.”
“That doesn’t really give me much to go on.”
He gave a deep chuckle, and the sound sent a shiver down my spine. “No, but I hope you’ll come all the same.”
I was suddenly regretting my decision to wander the stacks. Being alone with Noah when he smiled at me and laughed felt dangerous. His nearness was overwhelming, and any resolve I had quickly slipped away.
I felt very aware of how alone we were. The library was silent, and there was no sign of anyone else near us. The bookshelves towered over us, casting shadows across the empty aisle, and the warm, yellow lamps that illuminated the shelves only dimly lit the area. There was something about the way the musty smell of books mixed with the scent of Noah’s aftershave that sent my senses wild, and as I felt the air between us charge with electricity, I had to wonder if Anna was right about the library. We were nowhere near the history section, but the secluded spot was perfect for a secret kiss.
A high-pitched giggle broke the silence from behind me, and I took a step back from him. His scent still reached me, and I could no longer tell the difference between his masculine aroma and the musky scent of old books. I wasn’t going to be able to read again without thinking of Noah. Maybe I’d have to ditch my paperbacks and start reading on the fancy new smartphone my father got me.
The giggling sounded again. Two girls were standing at the end of the aisle nudging each other and smiling in Noah’s direction.
“Looks like you have a couple of fans,” I said. He hadn’t moved away like I had, but he somehow seemed more distant, like he had shrunk back into the shadows of the aisle to avoid being seen. His smile had diminished, and his eyes had lost the twinkle that had been there just moments ago.
“I’d rather I didn’t.” His voice was deep and quiet as he responded.
I stared into his eyes, hoping perhaps they might reveal more than he’d voiced. I was beginning to see that Noah didn’t want all the attention he received. When we’d first met, I’d assumed he was like Levi and thrived off the adoration and adulation that came with his popularity. He’d acted so indifferent, and I figured it was because he believed he was above it all. That he enjoyed sitting up high on his throne, looking down on the rest of us. The more I got to know him, the more I realized I couldn’t assume anything when it came to Noah.
I heard movement and whispering behind me as Noah’s fans grew brave enough to venture into our aisle. Noah glanced away from me, and I knew whatever moment we were sharing was well and truly broken. I was surprisingly annoyed it was over. I felt like I could spend all evening lost in Noah’s eyes, trying to understand what was lying deep within.
I didn’t have all evening, and I was probably late to meet Wes.
“I should go,” I said, but my body was urging me to stay. “I’m meeting someone to study.”
Noah cleared his throat and nodded as he stepped back to let me pass. I didn’t want to leave this quiet nook of the library, but I couldn’t think of a reason to stay. I could hardly tell Noah I found him puzzling and I wanted nothing more than to spend all evening trying to fit together the pieces of him that I was starting to discover.
I somehow found the motivation to move, but Noah reached out and lightly brushed a hand against my wrist as I went to walk past him. “Think about Saturday night,” he said. “I hope you’ll be there.”
His touch was as soft as a feather, and yet it was all I could seem to focus on. How could the briefest brush of his skin against mine be felt throughout my whole body? I swallowed and gave him a small smile in reply. “I will.”
It was only once I left the aisle and returned to the brighter part of the library that I felt my head clear. When I was around Noah, it was too easy to forget the rest of the world existed. In an instant, he could make me ignore all the reasons why I had decided to keep my distance from him.
That was the crazy thing. The more I tried to keep him at arm’s length, the stronger I felt the pull between us. He was my opposite in every single way, but perhaps it was those differences that made him so impossible to ignore.
“There you are,” Wes said, as I joined him at the study tables.
There were several tables around us all occupied by other students. Despite what Anna believed, the library seemed like a popular place to do homework.
“I saw you coming from the stacks. You weren’t over in the history section, were you?” Wes joked, as I took a seat.
I hadn’t been in the history section, but I felt like I might as well have. Noah and I hadn’t kissed, but being with him had felt intimate in a way it shouldn’t.
“You were?” he asked when I didn’t immediately answer. “And on our study date. How could you?”
“Gosh, no. I made certain to avoid that corner!” Perhaps Anna needed to add the fantasy section to her list.
“I was joking.”
“You’re not very funny.”
“Yeah, Sawyer’s always telling me that.” Wes ran a hand through his hair and laughed. “Apparently, there’s only room in this school for one funny Montfort.”
“And that’s Sawyer?”
“So he says.”
I smiled at Wes. “Well, Sawyer’s not as funny as he thinks he is, so you might still have a chance.”
“I’ll start working on my comedic set tonight.”
“I look forward to hearing it.” I laughed. “How was the rest of your day?”
“It was fine,” he replied. “Though I’ve been struggling to get hold of Sarah. The last time we spoke was Friday, which is forever ago for us. I keep calling her, but she just texts me back saying she’s busy and can’t talk. It’s really frustrating.”
“I can imagine.” I wasn’t sure how I would have reacted if I’d been in a long-distance relationship with Levi and he was dodging my calls. I’d been quite a trusting girlfriend, but I clearly had terrible gut instincts, so I probably wasn’t the best person to give Wes any advice on the situation.
“I’m sure she’s just getting back into the swing of school,” he said.
“The first couple of weeks can feel crazy,” I agreed.
He nodded and gave me a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and I knew my words hadn’t consoled him all that much.
I was surprised by how much he cared about his girlfriend not calling him back. I honestly didn’t think guys were all that bothered when it came to stuff like that. Then again, my opinion was based on Levi, and I really hoped he wasn’t a typical example of male behavior. I didn’t have much else to go on. I hadn’t been friends with many guys back at my old school, so I didn’t have that much experience listening to a boy’s side of relationship problems. If I’d shown any signs of getting close to a male classmate, Levi lost it with me. Thinking back, I should have realized far sooner than I did that Levi wasn’t the one for me.
“You’re really worried about this, huh?”
He let out a breath and sank back in his chair. “I just have this feeling that she’s avoiding me. I’m probably overthinking things, but it’s hard to get out of your own head sometimes.” He rubbed a hand across his forehead. “I was thinking of surprising her this weekend with a visit, but if she’s not answering my calls, maybe that’s not such a good idea. What do you think?”
“Well, I don’t know Sarah, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask…” I didn’t know what else to say, but his eyes were pleading with me to offer some semblance of guidance, so I continued. “How did you guys leave things at the end of summer?”
“Everything was great.”
“And is she normally pretty honest with you?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Then it sounds like you’re just overthinking things,” I said with as much certainty as I could manage. “If you go and visit her, and it turns out there is something wrong, at the very least, you’ll be able to chat about it face-to-face.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He relaxed a little and sat up a bit straighter. “Thanks for hearing me out. Normally, I talk with Sawyer about this stuff, but he knows a lot of girls who are friends with Sarah, so he’d probably play detective and try to find out why she hasn’t been answering my calls. I’d much rather talk with her myself than hear it thirdhand.”
“Well, it sounds like you’ll be able to talk to her this weekend.”
“Which feels like a lifetime away right now,” he moaned.
“I know,” I agreed. “But do you know what makes the time fly by?”
“What?”
“Economics homework.”
The tightness around his eyes released, and he let out a low chuckle. “I think you might be wrong about that, but I suppose we should get started.”
Wes was at the same stage as me with the homework, so we were able to work together through the rest of the problems. It was much easier to slog through them with his help, and I found we sailed through the rest of the assignment in no time.
“We should do this again,” I said when we finally finished and started to pack up. I normally preferred to do homework on my own, but I didn’t enjoy economics, and it wasn’t nearly so painful with Wes’s help.
“Yeah, I’m down,” he agreed. “Trying to get through it on my own was torture.”
We left the library together and walked back in the direction of the dormitories. As we approached the entrance to the girls’ building, I paused and turned to Wes.
“Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“How did you know Sarah was the right girl for you?” I wasn’t really sure why I’d asked the question. It was probably because Noah was still on my mind. I knew he was the wrong guy for me, for so many reasons, but a small part of me had started to hope that maybe I was mistaken.
Wes paused for a moment as he considered it. “I didn’t, I guess. We were a lot younger back then, and my reasons for asking her out weren’t the same reasons I’ve stayed with her all this time. I think she became the right person along the way, if that makes sense?”
“That’s sweet.”
He tucked his hands into his pockets and tilted his head as he looked at me. “Why do you ask?”
“I don’t know,” I replied. “I guess I’m just trying to figure out how I’ll know when I’m ready to date again. I had a bad breakup with my ex.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said. “Only you can know when you’ll be ready again, but I think the most important part is wanting to be ready. You have to want to date again, and I don’t think that’s something you can force.”
“Wow, Wes, that’s pretty good advice.”
He nodded and gave me a smile. “Just call me your dating sensei.”
I laughed. “I’m not calling you that.”
“But seriously,” he continued. “If all else fails, just listen to your gut. It won’t lead you too far astray.”
“It’s that easy, huh?”
“Hopefully. But what do I know? My girlfriend won’t even call me back.”
“She will,” I reassured him. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Just give it time.”
“Thanks.” He smiled. “So, same time next week for our joint dating therapy session…I mean, economics study session?”
“I’ll be there.” I laughed.
He smiled again and turned to head over to the boys’ dorms. As I watched him go, his advice repeated over and over again in my head. So far, I’d been trying to listen to my head when it came to Noah. I was a little scared of what would happen if I let my gut take control.
