Cassio kept his promise. The next day he came home at dinnertime. To be honest, I was surprised. I hadn’t thought he’d keep his promise that he’d given with my naked body on top of him. Maybe I had my own trust issues to work through.
He looked surprised when he walked into the kitchen where we had dinner the last few days. Sybil stood from where she was seated, obviously unsure how to act. Elia stood as well and inclined his head before he grabbed his plate and headed through the backdoor, probably toward the guard house. He and I’d cleared things up in the morning after Cassio informed him that I knew what was going on. Elia had been awkward after that, obviously embarrassed, but I’d told him that he’d done his job and that I wasn’t angry. He couldn’t have told Cassio “no” after all.
“Why don’t you eat in the dining room?” he asked. Simona grinned when she spotted her dad. Her fingers and cheeks were smeared with smashed peas, but Cassio didn’t seem to mind. He walked up to her, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and barely escaped her dirty grabby hands before she could ruin his suit.
Daniele didn’t react in any way, only clutched the fork with the speared carrot slice in his little fist. For a moment, I caught the longing in his eyes, though. He wanted to be close to his dad, but something stopped him. Cassio turned to Daniele and kissed the top of his head before he walked up to me. Daniele watched us closely. Cassio touched my shoulder and squeezed lightly before he took a seat across from me. I couldn’t deny it. I was disappointed. I wished he’d have kissed me. Maybe he worried how Daniele would react. After all, his mom had been dead for only six months.
“I prefer to have dinner in the dining room,” he said simply.
I hated that there was a distance between us when we weren’t alone. “I didn’t know you’d be home for dinner.”
“I told you I’d be, and it’ll remain that way. If I can’t make dinner, I’ll give you a call.”
Sybil put a plate with roasted pork, mashed potatoes, and maple balsamic Brussels sprouts that were to die for down in front of him. He gave her a curt nod.
“I’ll check on the laundry,” she said and slipped out, leaving her half-eaten plate.
“We can have dinner in the dining room from now on,” I said.
Daniele grabbed a piece of his pork and tossed it under the table. Cassio’s expression shifted to anger, but I quickly shook my head then said to Daniele, “Now it’s your turn to eat a bite.”
Daniele speared a piece of pork and stuffed it in his mouth, chewing dutifully.
Cassio’s brows furrowed. “What’s going on?” His voice was moderately calm, but I could tell that he didn’t approve of the situation.
“Daniele and I have a deal. He can feed Loulou scraps if he eats a bite in turn.”
Cassio released a breath. Simona began to whine, stretching out her arms toward him. He got up, wiped her face and hands with a wet dishtowel, and put her on his lap before he continued with dinner. I stifled a smile. It was an adorable sight: Cassio dressed in his three-piece suit, looking impressive and powerful, with tiny Simona on his lap in her sunflower dress. He hadn’t even complained about the flowers. Again, Daniele’s eyes slanted to Cassio, who was staring down at Simona and didn’t notice.
I stroked his head gently. He peered up at me, his small face so sad and helpless, it turned my stomach over. If only he’d speak to me.
Feeling Cassio’s eyes on me, I picked up my fork and ate a bite of my pork. “How was your day?” He hadn’t told me anything about what he did during the day so far, but he hadn’t exactly been home early enough to talk.
“The usual.”
Maybe I should have expected an evasive answer like that. After all, Simona and Daniele were in the room. Talking about his type of business around them might scar them even more than their mother’s death.
“What did you do?”
“We went to the dog park again, right?” I said to Daniele, who gave a small nod before dropping a piece of pork on the floor. “And Elia helped me set up my painting room.” I couldn’t wait to paint again, to lose myself in my art.
Cassio’s gaze traced my face in a way that made me feel self-conscious. I straightened my bangs, wondering if he still hated them. They were part of me, had always been.
“I was thinking we could spend the weekend down at my beach house.”
My eyes widened. It had been a while since I was at a beach.
Cassio tried to catch Daniele’s eyes. The boy had definitely perked up hearing about the beach. “What do you think, Daniele? We can build sandcastles like last time.”
Daniele gave a small shrug, which was something.
Cassio and I took the children to bed after dinner. Cassio put Simona down in her crib while I helped Daniele change. It was easier that way. Daniele didn’t get as upset, and so shortly before he was supposed to sleep that was for the best. I covered him with his blanket when he lay in bed and tousled his hair. “Loulou will love the beach.”
Daniele’s mouth tugged into a small smile. Then his gaze darted to something behind me. He bit his lower lip. A shadow fell over us and a moment later, Cassio bent down and kissed Daniele’s forehead. “Sleep tight.”
I stood and with a last wave at Daniele, I extinguished the lights and closed the door. I followed Cassio down the hallway, but before we could reach the staircase, he turned to me, grabbed my neck, and kissed me deeply, stealing my breath. My body sprang to life immediately as he pressed me into the wall, his big palm on my breast, kneading, his hips grinding against me. He was hard, digging into my belly insistently.
“Bed,” I whispered.
“Fuck no.”
I blinked but Cassio didn’t allow me to get my bearings. His mouth on mine, he grasped my upper thighs and hoisted me up. “Right here. Against this wall.”
My eyes widened. Cassio bit down on my throat then lavished the spot with his tongue. “What about Sybil?”
“Gone.” His growl vibrated against my skin. Holding me up with one muscled arm, and the pressure of his strong body, he slipped his hand between our bodies. The hiss of his zipper sent a shiver down my spine a moment before he shoved my panties aside and entered me in one hard stroke. I arched, half in pain, half in pleasure. It was the first time he took me without much preparation.
His mouth pressed against my ear. “Didn’t I tell you to stop wearing those over-the-knee socks and ridiculous dresses?”
I met his gaze, grinding myself against him, chasing the pleasure even as my body fought to accommodate Cassio’s length. “Is this my punishment?” My lips teased up into a challenging smile.
Cassio’s grip on me tightened as he thrust up again, driving me against the wall. I dug my heels into his lower back. “No, honey,” he rasped, and that word warmed me like hot cocoa. “It’s a warning.”
I laughed. It wasn’t a good one. The words never left my lips because Cassio started pounding into me, harder and deeper than before, forcing my body to yield to him, and it did. Soon I was so slick around him, the wet sound of our bodies joining filled the hallway. Cassio’s harsh kiss swallowed my cries of release when I came in a violent shudder. He lowered me to the floor and my legs almost gave out. “Down,” he ordered.
My eyes flashed up in indignation at the demand, but his dominant expression and the primal hunger in his eyes spoke to a part of me that definitely didn’t mind his commanding attitude. I dropped to my knees.
His fingers tangled in my hair as he took my mouth.
I kept my eyes on his face, loving to watch him let loose.
Afterward, he pulled me up to my feet, tilting my head up. “Okay or too hard?”
I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my face into the crook of his neck, touched by the consideration in his voice. I was slightly sore and would probably continue to feel that way until tomorrow, but it felt good in a naughty way, as if Cassio had left his mark inside of me.
“Giulia?” The low rumble of his voice penetrated my thoughts. “Too hard?”
I shook my head with a small sigh. He cupped the back of my head then pressed a kiss to my crown. The gesture was so loving, it kindled emotions in me I was scared to allow. After all, this was a marriage of convenience before all else. I didn’t want to love him before he loved me.
What a silly thing to think. As if you could postpone your love until it was convenient. I pulled back and allowed him to lead me into the bedroom.
Later in bed, I snuggled against Cassio, my cheek on his chest, his fingers tracing my upper arm. We had already extinguished the lights and were trying to fall asleep. From the lingering alertness in Cassio’s body, I knew he wasn’t anywhere close to sleep. “You can’t with me in your arms, right?”
I didn’t want to sound hurt, but I did.
Cassio paused in his stroking, his ribcage expanding under my head in a sigh. “Let’s see. I promised you I’d try.”
“Okay. Like you’ll try to trust me.”
Silence followed. He was trying. I couldn’t ask for more.
“Did Daniele say anything yet?”
“No,” I said. “He communicates with nods. His birthday is in two weeks, right?”
“Yeah. Three years. I still remember when I first held him.”
“I saw a photo of a newborn. They don’t look very cute with all the grime on them.”
“He was already cleaned when I held him the first time a few hours after he was born.”
“Don’t the nurses hand the baby over to their parents right after birth?”
“I wasn’t there when Daniele was born.”
“Oh, work?” I guessed.
Tension radiated from Cassio, and I knew it hadn’t been that. “Gaia preferred to give birth alone.”
I was glad the darkness hid my expression. Why would a woman not want her husband with her when she gave birth to their child? “Oh.”
Silence filled the dark. “What about Simona?”
Cassio shook his head.
“Isn’t it unfair toward you not to let you experience the miracle of birth?” Wasn’t that what everyone called it, even though I couldn’t see the magic in squeezing something that big out of my vagina.
“I have a busy morning on Friday, but I want us to head out to my beach house in the afternoon, so we’ll have all of Saturday to enjoy our time there.”
“Why won’t you talk to me about the past?” I said softly.
Cassio shifted, his mouth hot against my ear. “Stop prying, Giulia. You won’t like what you’ll find. Now sleep.”
His words stung. I began to roll over to give him space so he could sleep, which obviously wasn’t going to happen with me close, but his arm around my waist tightened. He lodged me against his body once more. I swallowed.
“You’re young,” he said. “I worry about all the ways I’ll hurt you before you’ve grown into a jaded adult to survive in our world and at my side.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“I know, but eventually you will.”
Cassio
I hadn’t been to my beach house in three months. The last time I went, I’d longed for peace and quiet after Gaia’s funeral. I’d come alone without Simona and Daniele because every look at them reminded me of the woman I wanted to forget.
Giulia’s eyes widened in awe when we pulled up in front of the splendid white bungalow on the beach. Mia owned the house beside it, but we rarely visited this place at the same time, even if she’d been insisting on a family vacation for a while. Simona had fallen asleep in her seat, but Daniele’s face flashed with recognition. He’d loved this place in the past. I worried even that had changed.
The wind nipped at our clothes. November wasn’t the best time to spend time outside around here, but I wanted to show Giulia this house. I wasn’t even sure why. It would have been more impressive in spring or summer.
Another gust tore Giulia’s black cowboy hat from her head. My hand lashed out, snatching the thing out of the air.
Giulia let out an astonished laugh. “That’s an impressive show of reflexes.”
I held the hat out to her, and she took it with a sweet smile. “Quick reflexes are required to survive if you have as many enemies as I do. But I don’t know why I caught this thing. It’s ugly.” Giulia had once more chosen an outfit I decidedly hadn’t chosen for her. Cowboy boots, black shorts with suspenders, a bright pink sweater, and an oversized coat that would have fit me as well. It was a fashion nightmare.
Worry tightened her face, her hand frozen on the door. “How many attempts at your life have you survived?”
I tried to remember. It was difficult to say. There had been so many. Only a couple had gotten close.
Giulia shook her head. “Never mind, if you have to think about it this long, I probably don’t want to know. Just promise to be careful, okay?”
I walked around the car and opened the back door then lifted Simona out. Giulia and I had already fallen in a sort of routine where my children were concerned. She handled Daniele and I handled Simona. It made our life easier, even if it turned my heart to ice that my son refused to be close to me.
“Can you take Loulou’s transport crate?”
I took it from the trunk. Giulia had insisted we take the dog with us, even if I’d have preferred to let Sybil watch it. Refusing Giulia was more difficult than it should have been.
Pressing Simona protectively to my chest to shield her from the cold, I led Giulia toward the front door. She had trouble carrying Daniele on her hip. Even though he was a thin boy, he was tall for his age and Giulia was petite. It would have made more sense for me to carry him.
She set him down the moment we were inside and looked around in wonder. The interior, like the outside of the house, was white. The back of the house facing the beach was almost entirely made of glass windows, giving views of the dunes and ocean. The marram grass bowed down under the force of nature, and dark clouds hung low over the water. Even on tumultuous days like this, the white of the furniture illuminated the house without electricity.
Giulia rushed toward the windows, peering out. Her eyes drifted to the left where a swing swayed gently in the wind. The porch protected it from rain. She reached for the handle.
I set down the dog crate then carried Simona over to her white cradle. She was still sound asleep. “It’s too stormy. We can go outside tomorrow.”
Giulia pouted, looking like the teenager I tried to pretend she wasn’t. Sometimes I managed to forget, especially when she handled the kids and in bed, but I wasn’t always successful.
Daniele stood beside her. She held out her hand, and he took it. I froze, my heart squeezing a little tighter. With a smile, she led him toward the crate and released the dog. It creeped out slowly, looking around.
“If it pees on the white carpets, it’ll sleep outside.”
Giulia rolled her eyes as if she thought I was joking.
The dog began to sniff everything. At least, it didn’t attack my pant legs anymore.
Daniele followed the dog like he was a lost puppy.
“I’ll get our luggage,” I said before I went back out into the cold. When I returned with our two bags, Giulia stood in the open fridge. I carried them into our bedroom down the hall before I joined Giulia in the kitchen. “I told my housekeeper to stock the fridge.”
“You have a housekeeper for your beach house?”
“Mia and my parents have houses on the same beach. The housekeeper takes care of all three.”
“What about Ilaria.”
“Too far.”
Giulia nodded. “So… can you cook?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Of course not.”
“Of course not,” Giulia said quietly, looking into the fridge as if it was her demise. “I guess I’ll just have to try my luck, then.”
I watched her assemble an array of vegetables, rice, and chicken on the counter. “Do you like Asian?”
I leaned against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. “Depends.”
“Do you like it spicy?”
My mouth twitched. Giulia gave me an indignant look before her gaze darted to Daniele, who squatted in front of the window, the dog beside him.
I moved toward her, touching her hips. “I can handle the burn, don’t worry.”
Giulia swallowed.
I headed toward the window as she began to prepare whatever dinner she had in mind. Daniele briefly looked up when I stopped beside him and the dog before he focused on the ocean once more.
“Tomorrow we can spend the afternoon on the beach.”
He didn’t reply, but I hadn’t expected him to, so I just stared out like he did.
After dinner, we brought Daniele and Simona, who’d woken halfway through it, to bed. They shared the room beside ours, even if there were two more bedrooms in the house.
“Can we sit on the swing?” Giulia asked when I wrapped my arms around her.
“It’s cold.”
“You can keep me warm. Please?”
“All right.”
She grinned and grabbed our coats from the rack while I gathered a couple of thick wool blankets. The wind had settled, but it was freezing when we stepped onto the porch. Despite her coat, Giulia shivered when we huddled on the swing. I swaddled her in the blankets before I wrapped an arm around her. She curled up like a cat beside me.
In the past I’d spend many late nights on the porch alone, seeking solitude. Gaia never joined me. Having Giulia beside me didn’t feel like an intrusion, though. “You’re not what I expected.”
“Not how?”
Our breath fogged up the night air, and the roar of the waves drifted up to us. “I thought I’d have to coerce you into sex, that you’d shy away from the physical side of our marriage.”
She lifted her head. “I really like sleeping with you.” The moonlight lit up her eyes. “You make me feel really good.”
I chuckled. “That’s how it’s supposed to be.”
“Do I make you feel good too?” Her tone was playful, but I caught a hint of uncertainty.
“Yeah, you do.” I pulled her closer for a languid kiss. Not just because of the sex either. As if to remind me, I slid my hand under the blankets and her clothes, brushing my knuckles along her side. Her resulting twitch and giggle lit up my insides.
“Did you ever—”
“No talk about the past.”
She fell silent, and we stared off toward the ocean.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt almost at peace, but in this moment, it was close.
