We spent our first summer vacation at the beach house. It was early June and the sun was shining brightly. The weather forecast had predicted a few days without rain. Cassio had taken the week off from work, which didn’t mean he wouldn’t have to return in case of an emergency, but I was still ecstatic about the chance to have a family vacation on the beach.
I dressed Simona in a cute two-piece with ruffles and sunflowers, cute sunglasses, and a straw hat. My bikini looked very similar, minus the excessive frills, but we still managed a cute twin look. Daniele wore his favorite Superman swim trunks.
Cassio was eye-candy in his board shorts. He carried Daniele into the water while Simona and I dipped only our toes into the Atlantic. I preferred lukewarm water, so I didn’t understand how Cassio and Daniele could enjoy a dip in the cold. Simona shared my opinion and squealed every time the waves touched her tiny toes. Her eyes brimmed over with joy as she raised her arms. “Arm, Mom.”
Every time she called me “Mom,” my heart skipped a beat. She occasionally called me “Giula” when she tried to imitate Daniele, but she had trouble pronouncing my name. Daniele had been confused the first few times she’d called me mom, but after I’d explained to him that I wasn’t trying to take his mom’s place and that it only showed how much I loved and cared for them, he’d come to terms with it.
Hugging Simona to my chest, I watched Cassio carry Daniele on his shoulders. Everybody who saw them knew they were father and son, not because of physical similarities but because of how they acted around each other. It was beautiful. Loulou barked wildly beside me, enraged that Cassio and Daniele were out of her reach, but she wasn’t very fond of water.
“Dad!” Simona screamed, stretching out her arms. Cassio came out of the water and set Daniele down on the beach. Loulou inspected him at once as if she worried the ocean could have harmed him. I handed Simona to Cassio, and before he went back into the water, he kissed me.
Daniele ran along the water’s edge, Loulou still barking close behind him. Her fur had grown in again, and she was the cutest curly fluff ball.
“Not so fast!” I called when Daniele and Loulou became too wild, and then Daniele stumbled and fell down hard. I rushed over to him. Loulou was already licking his face. I knelt beside him. He was cradling his knee, crying. He’d landed on a stone and was bleeding from a cut below his knee. “It’s all right. We’ll fix you.”
Cassio’s shadow fell over us. He handed Simona over to me and carried Daniele into the house. He managed to calm down in his dad’s arms.
The wound didn’t need stitches, thankfully. Cassio cleaned it and patched it up with a Band-Aid, all the while talking in a low, soothing voice to Daniele.
Daniele didn’t shed another tear. He tried to be a big boy when he was around his dad. Cassio patted his head.
“Do you want a popsicle?” I asked.
He bit his lip, looking down at the sofa, shuffling his legs.
“Daniele?” I got down on my haunches in front of him, trying to figure out what was wrong. He wrapped his arms around my neck, surprising me. “Hey, you okay?”
I hugged Daniele tightly to my chest, not sure why he needed my closeness but more than willing to give it to him. “Mom,” he whispered. I froze. Cassio tensed, his eyes tumultuous as he watched. Was Daniele thinking of Gaia? Missing her? I pulled back slowly.
Daniele looked down at my chin. “Can I call you mom?”
I choked and tears sprang into my eyes at his unexpected request.
Cassio’s face became still.
I kissed Daniele’s cheek then crushed him to me once more. “Yes. Nothing would make me happier. I love you.”
He began to sniffle, and I couldn’t hold back either. Cassio averted his eyes, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. After a moment, he came over to us and knelt beside us, hugging us both. I pressed my face into his chest, feeling his heartbeat thundering in his ribcage. Cassio kissed the top of my head then Daniele’s.
Daniele called me mom every chance he got that day, shyly at first, but later with adorable giddiness.
In the evening, Cassio and I sat on the swing in front of the house, watching the sunset. We hadn’t talked about today’s events yet. With Daniele and Simona around, there hadn’t been time.
“I didn’t expect it,” I said. Cassio knew what I was referring to without me stating it outright. His arm around my shoulders tightened, holding me even closer to his side.
“Me neither. He’s old enough to remember his mother, but I suppose even the memory will fade with time. He was too young to form a strong bond with her. I guess it’s a blessing after all.”
“I suppose so.” It seemed horribly cruel to be glad for Gaia’s early death, but for Simona and Daniele, it was probably easier that way. Had they both been older at the time of her suicide, they would have struggled even more. “Eventually, Daniele and Simona will ask questions about Gaia. It’s natural to want to know more about your birth mother.”
Cassio breathed out. “Until they do, I won’t talk about her. Everything I’ll tell them will be a lie anyway.”
“Not everything.”
“When we married, I thought I was doing damage control.”
My eyebrows climbed my forehead. Cassio chuckled seeing it. “I know. Not very romantic. But you were meant to make my life easier.”
“You expected to get a nanny with some sexy times thrown in the mix.”
“I can’t deny it. I didn’t consider the option that we would become partners, that I would enjoy your presence outside of the bedroom, and even that seemed unlikely after I first met you.”
“You know how to turn this romantic sunset, even more romantic,” I teased.
“Romantic isn’t my strong suit.”
“You don’t say?”
Cassio turned to me and cupped my cheek. “You surprised me and keep surprising me.”
“That’s good… right?”
“More than good.”
“Do you think you’ll ever fully trust me? Ever not expect I’ll cheat on you?”
“I trust you.” At my doubtful expression, he added, “I do, but I’m not sure if the nagging doubt at the back of my head will ever fully leave. Catching Gaia like that…” He shook his head then peered out toward the ocean. “I know most people are capable of doing very bad things. I see it every day. It’s difficult not to always expect the worst.”
I understood him. I couldn’t imagine how it must have felt to catch your partner cheating on you, especially with family. “I won’t cheat. I’ll work for your trust every day no matter how long it takes for your nagging voice to shut up. I love you.”
Cassio bent down, his lips touching mine. “If anyone can shut up my nagging voice, then it’s you. You’ve breathed new life into me.”
“You mean your newfound virility?” I teased, grinning.
Cassio didn’t smile. He stroked my hair, his eyes following his fingers as they slid down. “Into everything. I was dead inside, going through the motions of every day, living for work, for building a future for my kids. While doing that I forgot about the present, about living. You showed me how important it is to live in the moment, to experience my children’s life and not just plan for their future.” He kissed me. Then his smile became darker. “But my newfound virility is definitely another perk of your presence in my life.”
His hand slipped under my shirt. I looked around.
“Nobody can see us here.”
“I know,” I said. Then I stood and took a step back. “But I was thinking of trying out the beach…”
Cassio got up. “You’ll have sand everywhere.”
I took another step back and pulled my shirt over my head. “Maybe I’ll like the additional friction, old man.”
Cassio’s smile turned wolfish. “I think I need to dunk you in the ocean first to punish you for your insolence.”
I backed away, down the stairs, and Cassio stalked me like a hunter after his prey. “Run, little girl, run.”
“I’m not—” He lunged for me but with a choked screech, I jumped back, whirled around, and dashed away. My feet sunk into the soft sand and the cool evening breeze whipped at my hair. I threw a glance over my shoulder, finding Cassio taking off his shoes, shirt, and pants. Rolling my eyes, I dropped my bra and called, “You’ll never catch up with me, old man!”
He was surprisingly fast. Hell, he was faster than any man of his height and muscle mass had any business of being. All the damn workouts were paying off, it seemed.
Giggling, I popped open the button of my shorts. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop because Cassio was hot on my heels, and so I almost stumbled in my attempt to shove off my shorts while running. Only in my panties, I sped up even more, trying to run up the dunes and away from the ocean.
“Gotcha,” Cassio growled a moment before his arms wrapped around my middle and he lifted me off the ground. He pressed a hot kiss against my neck then bit down, causing me to gasp. Despite my struggling, he carried me over to the ocean’s edge. “This will be very cold. Fortunately, I know the perfect way to get you warm again.”
“Cassio, don’t you dare!” I warned but he stepped into the waves. The cold spray hit my calves. “Cassio!”
He threw me into the water. Shock at the freezing cold of the Atlantic zapped through my body. I burst through the water surface with a gasp, drawing in a sharp breath as my body struggled to get used to the cold.
Cassio looked as if he was taking a dip in the Caribbean and not the Atlantic. He didn’t even have goose bumps!
I glared at him, but at the same time couldn’t help but grin. Maybe I had surprised him, but he surprised me too. When I’d first seen him in the foyer of my parents’ home, looking so terribly poised and in control, I’d wondered how we’d ever work. We were still different in many aspects of our personalities, but we both made small adjustments for the other. Marriage was giving and taking, and despite Cassio’s need to control everything, he, too had given to make this work.
“How about getting you warm now?” He pressed close to me, pulling me against his wonderfully warm body. His mouth claimed my throat once more.
“No sex in the ocean. I’ll freeze off important assets if we stay in the water any longer.”
Cassio laughed deeply against my skin. “What kind of assets?” His mouth traveled south then closed around my nipple.
I clutched his head, nodding. “That one for example.” I searched the row of houses lined up on the dunes. Light shone in some of them, and I wondered if they’d be able to see us if they looked out toward the ocean.
I didn’t care.
“I’ll keep your assets warm, don’t worry,” he murmured against my skin, and I decided freezing to death might be worth it.
After a quickie in the ocean, I managed to convince Cassio of another round on the beach, which I regretted afterward… just like he’d predicted. A thick coating of sand covered every inch of my body, and more than one grain of sand had found its way in crevices I preferred sand-free. After a long shower, I still felt sore as we settled on the swing once more. Cassio’s I-told-you so face was additional punishment.
Someone knocked at the window. Simona pressed her nose against the glass and hammered her little fists against it. Cassio opened the door and picked her up before he settled with her on his lap beside me. Simona snuggled against him and gave me a tired smile. I ruffled her dark blond locks and curled my legs under my body. Cassio kept the swing in motion with his longer legs.
Not long after, the terrace door opened again, and Daniele stepped out onto the porch barefoot. Rubbing his eyes, he stumbled toward us. I hoisted him onto the swing between us, and he rested his little head against my chest.
I’d never considered myself ready to become a mom. I’d felt like a child myself most days before Dad told me about my engagement to Cassio. It was true that you rose to the tasks presented to you if you only faced them head-on. I’d probably mess up often raising these kids. I’d have to learn with them.
Cassio leaned his head back, looking at peace and content. I wanted to be his safe haven. His work was full of blood, conflict, and death. I didn’t want that at home. He caught me staring and gave me a tired smile.
I’d take care of Simona and Daniele, I’d protect them from everything, even the truth. I swore I’d never lie to Cassio, but the truth his father told me would have to be the one exception.
Lies had a way of catching up with you eventually. I hoped this was one of the cases where they didn’t.
