Word about my breakup with Noah got around quickly once Veronica found out. She hadn’t wasted any time informing the whole school, and by Thursday lunchtime, it was all anyone could talk about.
I found I was actually relieved by the gossip. All week, it had felt like I was waiting for a bomb to detonate, and now that it had, I just needed to lie low until the initial shockwave blew over. Once the dust began to settle, I could slowly begin to pick up the pieces.
I decided it was best to skip Noah’s soccer game on Thursday night. I wanted to keep my head down while everyone worked the news about Noah and I through their systems, and the last thing I felt like doing was watching Noah lead his team to glory while the whole school cheered him on.
Cress was bummed because missing the game meant I also missed her dance at halftime. I hated that I wasn’t there to support her, especially when she’d been there for me all week, so I promised to make it up to her. I probably should have considered the offer more carefully because, as soon as Friday night rolled around, she insisted I went with her to the boathouse party.
I knew it was a terrible idea, but there was no way I could let Cress down again. And so, as soon as it grew dark, I found myself trailing after her and Anna to the old boatshed by the lake. As I stepped through the wide-open wooden doors, I took a deep breath in. Tonight, I had a chance to show I really was putting Noah behind me.
Still, I couldn’t help doing a quick scan of the room for him as soon as I arrived. The place was packed with people, and I was all too relieved I didn’t see him. I wasn’t sure how he’d react to me being at the party. His friends had invited me, but I was almost certain they wouldn’t have run it by him first.
“Come on, let’s get drinks,” Anna said, grabbing me by the hand and tugging me toward the fridge at the back of the room.
I’d vowed after last weekend that I never wanted to drink again, but I found myself reaching for the beer Anna offered. I was way too tense, and perhaps the drink might help me get through the party.
Anna and Cress seemed to have the same idea because they were both knocking back their drinks too.
“I still can’t believe your dad bought you a new car and you’re not going to drive it,” Cress said.
“What do you mean you’re not going to drive it!” Anna practically shouted.
“Don’t listen to her,” Cress said. “Anna likes cars more than she likes most people.”
Anna ignored her. “You’re really not going to drive it?”
“I’m not a very confident driver,” I murmured.
“So, you’re going to let your poor car rot in the parking lot all year?” Anna made it sound like I was committing some kind of cardinal sin.
“I crashed trying to avoid a dog that ran in the road the day after I passed my test,” I said. “I’ve been too nervous to drive ever since.”
“Accidents happen.” Anna tried to reassure me. ‘I’m sure you’re a great driver when dogs aren’t running in front of the car. You just need to get your confidence back.”
“And how do I do that?”
“I’ll go with you. Like a driving lesson. I’m a great teacher.” Anna waved a hand and flicked back her hair like she had already solved the problem.
“Uh, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“What’s the worst that can happen?”
“Well, we’d be driving, so a lot.”
“Our school is in the middle of nowhere, and the chances we’ll encounter a stray dog are minuscule,” Anna argued. “Come on, please. If it’s that bad, you can go back to ignoring your car for the rest of the year, and I won’t mention it again.”
I hesitated.
“Come on, please?”
“Okay, fine, but only because I know you’ll keep bugging me all night if I don’t agree.”
“Yes!” She clapped her hands together excitedly. “This is going to be fun.”
I didn’t see how driving lessons could be fun for anyone, but she seemed genuinely excited about it.
Cress hadn’t spoken since we’d started talking about driving lessons. She’d been staring off into the distance for most of our conversation, and as I followed her gaze, I could see why. Her eyes were fixed on Kaden who was chatting with a group of girls.
Anna also noticed where Cress’s attention was because she started to squeal. “Ohmygosh, Cress! You’re totally checking out Kaden!”
Cress blushed and glanced away. “I am not.”
“You definitely are,” Anna replied. “And I don’t blame you. He’s looking superhot tonight.”
“I’m not checking him out.”
“He does look pretty good,” I agreed with a knowing smile.
Cress’s cheeks only grew pinker.
“You’ve crushed on him forever,” Anna said. “You should go for it. You are both single, after all.”
“I don’t think so.” Cress was normally so bubbly and enthusiastic, but she lacked Anna’s confidence when it came to chasing after guys. I hoped she wasn’t waiting for Kaden to make the first move because he wasn’t very forward either. They might spend their entire senior year sending each other furtive glances and nothing more.
“You don’t have to make a move on him, but why don’t you just go chat with him?” I asked her.
Cress lifted her drink and finished the bottle in one long swig. “Maybe later. I just saw some of the dance squad arrive so I should probably go say hey.” She placed her empty bottle down on the table before rushing away from us.
Anna shook her head. “She’s being a chicken.”
“Not all of us have your confidence with guys, Anna.”
“Pshh, I’m not confident. It’s all about faking it till you make it. I’ve been faking it for such a long time now I forget my confidence isn’t real.”
I shook my head but smiled. I had to disagree with her. I thought Anna was one of the most confident people I’d ever met. If she was pretending, then I was very impressed because I was thoroughly convinced.
“Newbie, you came!” I turned to find Luther walking up behind me. “You ready for our beer pong rematch?”
I snorted. “Do I look like an idiot?”
He squinted as he looked me up and down. “Not particularly.”
“Then the answer is no.”
Luther shrugged and turned to Anna. “How about you, London?”
Anna folded her arms and glared at him. “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not from London? I’m from Oxford.”
“Maybe one more time.”
Anna rolled her eyes at him. “Go bother someone else, Luther. I’m not playing your little game with you either.”
“Suit yourselves,” he said before sauntering off to find another victim to play against.
“Is it just me, or does he get more annoying every time you see him?” Anna asked as she watched him leave.
I laughed. “No, it’s not just you. His ability to annoy people is a true talent.”
She shook her head before focusing on me again. “Speaking of talent, have you considered any of the guys on the rebound list I gave you?”
Anna had actually provided me with a full list of names earlier in the week. I hadn’t looked at it because there was no way I was going to kiss a guy just to get over another one.
“A few of those guys are here tonight…” Anna raised her eyebrows and nudged me with her shoulder.
“I might need a few more drinks before I can seriously talk about rebounds.” I hoped that would be enough to end the conversation. I was never going to consider that list. Not anytime soon, at least. I couldn’t even look at other guys right now.
Someone loudly cleared their throat behind me, and I turned to find Noah standing there. When I realized how close he was, my stomach dropped, and the glare in his eyes did nothing to ease my nerves. He’d clearly heard us talking about rebounds, and he wasn’t happy.
It felt like a thunderstorm had just entered the room and I was standing directly in its path. Noah was practically crackling with irritation, and his hands clenched at his sides. It was like he was having to restrain himself from throwing me over his shoulder and stealing me away from the party to stop any more talk of rebounds.
“Oh, hey, Noah,” Anna said. Usually, her playful personality could defuse the tension in any situation, but now her tone was cold as she glared at Noah. He didn’t respond. It was almost like he hadn’t heard her at all.
“So, how many drinks will it take?” he asked. “You know, before you start working your way down Anna’s list.”
My cheeks heated in anger. “That’s not your concern, Noah.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not. You made that perfectly clear when you broke up with me.” He had no right to question me. He wouldn’t even answer my questions about what happened between our families. He just made it plain and clear, time and again, that we would never be together—unless, of course, we kept it a secret from the whole world.
I met his glare with one of my own. I wanted nothing more than to be done with this conversation. Be done with him. I swallowed the remainder of my drink and shoved the empty bottle into his chest. “I guess that’s one drink less now,” I said before stalking past him.
Anna quickly rushed after me, her eyes filled with concern as we pushed through people and made our way to the other end of the room—as far from Noah as possible.
“Wow,” she murmured.
“What?”
“I can’t believe that just happened. You are my breakup idol,” she said. “That was badass.”
I shook my head. “It really wasn’t. He just got to me. He keeps getting to me.”
“Yeah, because he’s clearly jealous. He doesn’t want anyone else to have you.”
“Well, that’s not up to him.”
“Totally.” Anna shrugged. “But no one ever said boys were sane.”
“Yeah, well, he’s acting like an ass…”
Anna gave me a sad smile. “I’m sure he’s just upset. Your breakup was hardly normal. It’s not like you stopped liking each other, and it’s never easy to see someone you care about moving on.”
“You’re sounding far too reasonable,” I said. “I prefer to think he’s an ass.”
Anna laughed. “Well, he’s that too, obviously.” Anna’s gaze flicked past me, and she started to frown. “Speaking of… It looks like one of the twins is already making a drunken ass of himself.”
I turned to see one of the boys stumbling into a table. He had his back to us, so it was impossible to tell if it was Wes or Sawyer. It had to be Sawyer though. Wes was always very sensible when it came to alcohol, and messy drinking seemed to be one of Sawyer’s favorite pastimes.
“Sawyer must have gone a little hard on his pregame,” Anna said. She had come to the same conclusion as I had about which twin it was.
“One of us should really go help him.”
“I guess.” Anna didn’t seem the least bit keen to deal with a drunken Sawyer. I didn’t really blame her. He was a handful enough when sober.
“I’ll go,” I quickly offered. I was only too eager for a distraction after my run-in with Noah. “It’s probably the least I can do after he so gallantly offered to be my rebound.”
Anna laughed. “Yeah, he was totally selfless in that offer too.”
“Totally,” I agreed. “Wish me luck.”
I grabbed a bottle of water and headed over to Sawyer. He was trying to chat with a girl I recognized from my English class, but I didn’t know her name. His words were slurred, and he was swaying on his feet. He kept bumping into the table at his side, causing the glasses and bottles on it to shake dangerously. The party had barely started, so Anna was probably right in suggesting he’d had too much to drink before he arrived.
“Hey, Sawyer,” I said as I approached. “Can you come outside with me for a sec?”
The girl shot me a grateful smile, and I got the distinct impression I’d come to her rescue. She darted away as he turned to me, and as soon as his sad eyes landed on mine, I realized my mistake.
“You’re not Sawyer,” I murmured.
“Not Sawyer,” Wes slurred in reply.
His eyes were ringed red, and he looked like he’d been crying.
“Wes, you look like hell.”
“I feel like hell,” he agreed. “Sarah broke up with me.”
“Oh no.”
He nodded and let out a sigh as he stared down into the red cup he was holding. He went to take another sip out of it, but I gently removed it from his hand and placed it on the table. I could smell the vodka from here.
“I’m not sure you need to drink any more.”
“You’re probably right. I think I’d rather sleep.” He started to stumble toward one of the sofas, but I grabbed hold of his arm and steered him in the direction of the exit.
“It might be a better idea if we find you an actual bed,” I said.
He nodded and let me guide him out of the boathouse. Cress caught sight of us as we were about to leave and hurried over.
“What’s wrong with Sawyer?” His reputation clearly preceded him as Cress made the same mistake.
“Not Sawyer. Wes,” I confirmed, and her eyes widened with surprise. “Sarah broke up with him. I’m going to get him back to his dorm room. He just needs to sleep it off.”
“Do you want a hand?”
I shook my head. “Nah, he seems pretty steady on his feet. I think I should be able to get him back in one piece. You stay and have fun.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” I was somewhat relieved to leave the party. I hadn’t wanted to go in the first place, and I didn’t feel much like staying after seeing Noah. Every time he came close to me, I felt my resolve to get over him slowly breaking.
“Well, call me if you need some extra help.”
“I will.”
There was a chill in the air as we stepped out into the night, and I hoped it would help sober Wes up. I passed him the bottle of water I was holding. “Here, drink this.”
He happily took the bottle and guzzled it down. Wes might have been slightly sloppy and sad, but at least he wasn’t a difficult drunk. He stumbled along the path as we walked, and I was grateful he was able to stay on his feet without much support from me. He was way too big for me to carry him on my own.
“So, what happened with Sarah?” I asked as we followed the darkened path that wound around the lake back to school, leaving the soft lights of the boatshed behind us.
“Things haven’t been great between us recently,” he started. “We rarely see each other. She wants someone who’s there. And I’m here. So, she dumped me.”
The ache in my chest echoed the confused and anguished tone in his voice. I was far too familiar with the hurt he was enduring.
“Long distance must be hard,” I murmured.
He nodded sadly, but was distracted as he stumbled over a divot in the path. I quickly reached out to steady him, and he grasped tightly onto my arms. As he looked up and into my eyes, his pain was so visceral and clear to see.
“Why wasn’t I enough?” His voice was raw and filled with emotion.
“For the right girl, you will be,” I replied. “No matter what hurdles or distance are put in your way.”
He let out a hard breath and nodded. He slowly let go of my arms, and we continued back to school in silence.
My words to Wes played on repeat in my mind. If Noah was the right guy for me, then nothing would have stopped us from being together.
Nothing.
By the time Wes and I reached the school buildings, he was struggling to walk straight, and I had to prop him up to stop him from stumbling into walls. We only had a short way to go before we arrived at the boys’ dorm, but Wes was starting to lean on me more and more. He was big and heavy, and as I tried to keep him upright, I was worried we might not make it much farther.
When we somehow made it to the dorm, I had to keep shushing him as we made our way through the entrance, up the stairs, and along the hallways. He’d been so quiet for most of our walk back, but he suddenly seemed to have a lot to say. He was still slurring and had no control over the volume of his voice. He was obviously drunk.
“Sarah had the most beautiful hair,” he mumbled. “It was like the night’s sky.”
“I know. You told me just before—”
“And her eyes. Did I tell you about her eyes?”
“Yes.”
“They were so big and beautiful. I don’t know if you know this about me, Isobel, but I’m an eyes guy. It’s all about the eyes.” His words were tumbling into one another, and it was difficult to make sense of most of what he said. “I wish I could have seen them one last time.”
“Wes, you have to speak quietly, or you’ll wake everyone up,” I said. The last thing I wanted was to draw attention to us. If we were caught, there was no way Wes would be able to act sober enough to avoid getting in trouble.
He ignored me. “Do you think she’s found someone else?”
“I’m sure she hasn’t. From what you’ve told me about her, she doesn’t sound like the kind of girl to cheat.”
“I bet she has,” he said. “She’s so damn beautiful.”
“You can’t torture yourself with guessing,” I replied. “You need to focus on mending your own heart.”
“I wish it were that easy.”
I wished the same thing too.
Somehow, Wes managed to direct me to his room without causing a scene. He’d done little to keep his voice down, so we’d gotten a few funny looks from other guys who were wandering the halls, but thankfully most just ignored us.
Wes fiddled with his swipe card, dropping it on the ground twice before he finally got the door to his room open. I helped him inside, turning on the light as I went.
There were two beds in the room. I knew Wes shared with Sawyer, but his brother was nowhere to be seen. I hadn’t noticed him at the boathouse earlier, but he must have been there somewhere.
The two halves of the room were so different. One side was a total mess. The bed was unmade, and clothes were strewn across the floor. The other side was so neat it barely looked lived in. Of course, Wes stumbled over to the clean side of the room. It didn’t take a genius to realize Sawyer was the slovenly one of the twins.
He collapsed down onto the bed in a heap and groaned as his head hit the pillow. I went into the bathroom and grabbed him a glass of water.
“I feel like crap,” he moaned as I returned.
I sat on the bed next to him and gently rubbed his back. “I know. And you’ll probably feel even worse tomorrow.”
He turned his head and peered up at me. “That doesn’t make me feel better.”
I shrugged and gave him a smile. “I’m not here to baby you. But I am here to help. Drink this.” He propped himself up, and I handed him the glass.
He only took a couple of sips before he lowered it from his lips. “I think I prefer the vodka better. At least it helps me forget.”
“It’s not exactly a healthy way to move on though, is it?”
Wes shrugged. “It’s probably not much worse than the rebound list Anna gave you.”
I let out a sigh. “No, probably not. I’m not planning to use it though.”
“Why not? There’s nothing wrong with using unhealthy methods for moving on if it works. Do you think Anna would make me a list too?”
“You don’t want a rebound list.”
“Sure, I do. If it helps me forget Sarah ever existed, it sounds like a great idea.”
“It sounds like a terrible idea.”
“No, a terrible idea would be if we were each other’s rebound…”
My heart leaped, and I swallowed to stop myself from reacting too obviously. I didn’t think he was joking.
“You’re right. That’s a terrible idea.”
He smiled. “Okay, so I better not ask to be on your list then?”
“Wes, you don’t want that. You’ve just had too much to drink. Besides, we’re already breakup buddies. We help each other get through breakups, which is a far more important job than a rebound.”
“Breakup buddies,” he repeated. “I like it.” He smiled before his eyes became a little hazier. “I should probably get some sleep.”
“That’s a good idea. Do you need me to get you anything else before I go?”
He shook his head and started to melt back into his bed as his eyes slowly shut. “No, I’m good.” He blinked his eyes open one last time as I stood to leave. “Thanks, Isobel. You’re a really good friend.”
I gave him a warm smile in response. “Have a good sleep, Wes.”
I flicked the light off as I left the room. Poor Wes was going to feel absolutely terrible come tomorrow. I knew what it was like to wake up with a broken heart and a hangover, and I didn’t envy him one bit.
