I wasn’t a fan of physical contact at night and had often not even shared the bed with my deceased wife. Not that she would have ever dreamed of wanting to have me close at night. She never bothered to hide her reluctance to have me near her, least of all when we slept together—unless there was something that she wanted from me.
Giulia had asked for my closeness and I’d denied her.
The early morning light illuminated her puffy face. Her lashes stuck to her skin with dried tears. She was close, had moved closer in sleep until we were almost touching. I felt the unreasonable desire to touch her—and not in a sexual way. Propped up on my elbow, I watched her peaceful sleep. As with many nights before, Gaia’s blood-covered body had haunted my dreams. I hardly ever dreamed about the people I’d killed, and yet my dead wife still filled my nights.
Giulia stirred, lips parting in a soft sigh. I pushed myself up and swung my legs out of bed, turning my back to her.
The bed shifted. I threw a glance over my shoulder at Giulia who was sitting up, rubbing her face framed by messy hair. Noticing my attention, her eyes met mine. She smiled hesitantly. The early morning light wasn’t kind to me because Giulia looked absolutely lovely in a very teenage girl way.
Damn it all.
I stood. “We need to get ready. The women will retrieve the sheets soon.”
Giulia took my watch from the nightstand. “It’s only eight. Do you really think they’ll disturb us this early after our wedding night?”
They probably wouldn’t, but I had no intention to waste time in bed. I had scheduled several meetings throughout the day, the most important with Luca for lunch. I needed to use the opportunity of having him in town. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and sent Mia a message that they could pick up the sheets in thirty minutes. Her nosy reply came immediately.
Won’t you even sleep in after your wedding night?
Stay out of my business was all I wrote back.
I put the phone back down, ignoring Giulia’s appraisal. I’d caught her watching me last night and now this morning. Her reaction surprised me. Of course, it was a pleasant surprise that she seemed attracted to my body and not appalled like Gaia.
“Mia and the others will come by in thirty minutes. Do you want to shower first? I can shave in the meantime.”
Giulia bit her lip, looking away before she nodded. “All right.” She shoved the covers off and stood. My eyes took her in, and for a moment I considered telling Mia that they could wait after all. Giulia was impossibly beautiful, and the idea to bury myself in her tight pussy once more was far too enticing, but the bloodstain on the sheets reminded me why that wasn’t going to happen.
Fifteen minutes later Giulia was showered and dressed, and I headed toward the shower. She’d chosen one of the dresses I’d sent to her parents, an elegant long-sleeved knee-length red piece that hugged Giulia’s slender body. It still didn’t make her look close to my age, but at least not quite the teenager she was.
“Should I cover my puffy eyes with makeup or do you want people to know I cried?”
I paused, one foot inside the shower. Turning back to my wife hovering in the doorway to the bedroom, I frowned. “I didn’t want you to cry. Why would I want people to know you did?”
She gave a small shrug, searching my face. “I thought maybe you’d want people to think you hurt me enough to make me cry.”
I considered it. The men downstairs would draw the wrong conclusions and fear me for it. It wasn’t a decent thing to consider, but the men downstairs weren’t decent, and I wasn’t either. “I’m feared as it is… and for good reason. I don’t want my sisters on my back like they’ll undoubtedly be if they see that you cried, so cover it up with makeup.”
She regarded me a moment longer, and I couldn’t tell why. It was unnerving.
“Okay. I don’t want to keep you from showering. I know how busy you are today.”
The hint of disapproval rang in her voice. She hadn’t reacted when I told her I was going to spend the day in business meetings until we’d head to my mansion and children in the late afternoon. “I work a lot, Giulia, and I won’t explain myself to you. As a woman, your only job is to raise my children, but I can’t afford that luxury.”
Anger flared in her eyes, but she turned and left.
I wasn’t in the mood to consider her teenage antics. She’d better get rid of them soon.
When I emerged fully dressed in another dark three-piece suit fifteen minutes later, I found Giulia on the sofa in the living room of our suite, typing on her phone. She was smiling softly. I stalked over to her. “Who are you talking to?”
Her head shot up, her brows drawing together. “Excuse me?”
“Who are you talking to?”
Anxiety crossed her face, but I didn’t care if she was bothered by me towering over her. “Who?” I growled.
“Your sister Mia.”
I took the phone and Giulia released it without a protest.
I apologize for my brother’s rudeness because I know he won’t ever do it. I’d say it’s because he’s a man, but his dickheadedness has nothing to do with the Y-chromosome.
Giulia stood. “I told you the truth.”
I scanned the previous messages to see what Giulia had told my sister, but she’d only written that she still had to get used to me after Mia had asked if she was all right.
Giulia shook her head then sighed. “Trust is the base of a marriage.”
“How would you know?” Was she really trying to tell me something about relationships? “I think I know more about the workings of a marriage than you, girl.”
Her expression flashed with hurt. “I wonder if Gaia would agree.” She snapped her lips shut, her eyes growing wide.
Fury burst through me the same time a knock sounded. Swallowing my anger, I headed for the door, glad for the distance this put between Giulia and myself. I ripped open the door, feeling my pulse pound in my temples.
Mia’s smile fell when she spotted me. Her eyes darted to something behind me. “Everything okay?” she whispered.
I opened the door wide. Behind Mia, Ilaria, Giulia’s mother, Aria, and other women waited for the ceremonial retrieval of the sheets. “Go in. Grab the sheets. I don’t have all morning.”
“Rude as usual,” Ilaria said as she walked past me. Mia hesitated, which was just as well. I pulled her to the side. “I saw what you wrote my wife.”
Mia huffed. “Are you spying on her?”
“You will stay out of my marriage, Mia. I’ll only say this once. Remember your place. And most of all, don’t talk to Giulia about Gaia, understood?”
She shook my grip off, then nodded. “Of course.”
Giulia smiled at the women who gave her compassionate looks. I walked over to my young wife before one of the women, especially Mia, could involve her in a nosy conversation.
Giulia touched my forearm lightly. “I’m sorry for mentioning your late wife, Cassio. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Surprise filled me. Her eyes and expression were earnest.
I gave a curt nod and put my hand on her lower back. “Come on. Let’s head down to the banquet room where breakfast will be served.”
“Shouldn’t we wait for them to be done?” She nodded toward the bedroom door. The women’s voices were a low buzz of gossip.
“I don’t need to see this.”
She smiled sheepishly. “You are right.”
I hesitated, on the verge of saying more, then I steered Giulia out of our suite. Our elevator ride passed in silence, but Giulia’s tension was palpable.
“The worst is over,” I said.
Her head shot up and her lips twitched. “Are you talking about our wedding night?”
I tilted my head, considering her. She was obviously fighting amusement. “You don’t have to pretend the night didn’t harbor great fears for you. I felt your trembling.”
“It scared me, true. But it’s over and it wasn’t as unpleasant as I’d thought it would be.”
My eyebrows shot up, not sure what to make of my wife’s honesty. Even though we were married, the unguarded way she spoke to me took getting used to. “That’s good, I suppose.”
She leaned into me with a small laugh. “Yeah, I suppose so too.”
The elevator doors opened, cutting our strange conversation short. I led Giulia toward the biggest banquet room, which was already filled with the men of my and Giulia’s family, as well as the most important members of the Famiglia.
“Let the meat show begin,” Giulia said under her breath.
I squeezed her side in warning even as I had to stifle a smile. “You’re now my wife and need to act accordingly. I can’t afford to lose face in public.”
She tensed. “I know.”
I needn’t have worried. Giulia had inherited her mother’s talent to chat up people, even strangers, but unlike Egidia, she was charming and lovely, wrapping everyone around her finger with ease. Many men watched her in a way that set me on edge, but none dared as much as to shake her hand.
Faro winked at me as he talked to a few of our Captains. I ignored it and turned my attention to the door where my mother and Giulia’s mother entered with the sheet between them. They headed to the side of the room and draped the fabric over two chairs.
Giulia let out a tiny choked sound, and her cheeks took on a red hue the moment she spotted them. “This is mortifying.”
I peered down. I wasn’t embarrassed, but I, too, didn’t like to show this glimpse of our private life to the public. With Gaia, I hadn’t cared, maybe because I’d been young and eager to impress. “It’s a sign of your honor, nothing to be ashamed of.”
“And a sign of your ruthlessness, no?” There was a small twitch of her mouth and that surprising twinkle in her eyes as if she’d made a secret joke.
“I suppose it is. Given your age, I should have had qualms. That I didn’t is a sign of my nature.”
After the first commotion and applause had settled, Giulia and I headed to the table with our closest family as well as Luca and his wife. Giulia’s mother immediately hugged her. Father patted my shoulder, searching my eyes. Whatever he was worried to see, it wouldn’t be present in a room with acquaintances.
Mia hugged me despite my reluctance of public displays of affection. “I really hope you tried to be a decent human being to that girl.”
I wasn’t sure about my abilities to be decent at all. It wasn’t in my nature, but I hadn’t been impatient or rough with Giulia. “Mind your own business.” She narrowed her eyes. I had lost count of the times I’d told her this, but she failed to comply with my wishes.
“Everything all right?” Giulia whispered as we took our seats at the head of the table.
I leaned closer. “My sister worried I wasn’t decent to you.”
“Because of the sheets?” Horror rang in Giulia’s words.
“Because of my nature.”
Giulia tilted her head in that curious way. Her hair smelled like a strawberry field in summer, and the insane urge to press my nose into it rose up inside me. “You were decent.” She touched my hand resting on my thigh with her fingertips. Feeling eyes on me, I turned back to the table. Christian, Felix, and my father watched curiously. My expression tightened.
Giulia
Cassio obviously felt uncomfortable with any kind of emotional displays in public. He soon talked to Luca and fellow Underbosses, leaving me at the mercy of my nosy mother. Eventually I managed to shake her and my aunts off and hid in a stall in the restrooms.
This was where Mia found me twenty minutes later. “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?” she said after I came out and we both redid our makeup.
“It is.”
“Are you okay? You can tell me if you aren’t. Cassio is my brother, but I’m a woman first.”
I nodded, remembering Cassio’s words and his reluctance to involve other people in our private life.
“I’m fine, but thank you.”
She gave a small smile. “Don’t let him turn you into something that’s not you. Our world needs girls like you.”
I gave her a quick hug, and unlike her brother, she didn’t mind and hugged me back. I was glad to have her on my side, but I needed to find my place in Cassio’s life by myself. He wouldn’t tolerate anything else.
It was almost eight in the evening when we finally pulled up the driveway to Cassio’s mansion, a magnificent three-story brownstone building with white columns supporting the porch, white window frames, and old crooked trees on the front lawn. Cassio parked in one of the double garages on the left.
He got out and opened the door for me. My stomach hollowed with nerves. This was my home now, and soon I’d meet the children I’d raise. Cassio’s hand found its place on my lower back again as he led me toward the magnificent white front door. Someone from his staff had gathered my belongings in the morning and brought them to the house.
I released a shaky breath when Cassio put the key in the lock. His eyes cut to me. “This is your home.”
I gave him a shaky smile, knowing he meant it. Yet judging by the way he’d handled everything so far, his rules would be the only ones he’d want followed within those walls. I’d have to fight for every bit of power and freedom—he wouldn’t hand over either freely.
He opened the door and motioned for me to get inside. I did, trying to figure out what I was smelling as I scanned the white and gray granite floor. High-pitched barking almost gave me a heart attack, and a small ball of reddish-brown fluff stormed through the hall and latched itself onto Cassio’s trouser leg. Growling, the small dog started to tug at the fabric. I blinked then bit my lip, stifling laughter. It was too ridiculous a sight not to be amusing.
“Fuck!” Cassio snarled. “Sybil, didn’t I tell you to keep the goddamn dog locked away?”
My smile died. He bent down and tried to grab the dog’s neck, but the tiny thing snapped its teeth and bit his finger. Fury flickered across his face, and he finally managed to grab the dog and lifted it into the air. The dog squeaked once then fell silent and hung in Cassio’s grasp. My husband looked as if he considered putting it down with his gun or strangling it with his strong hands.
I touched his arm, terrified for the helpless animal. “Don’t hurt it.”
Cassio’s eyes snapped to mine, still with the same anger in them, and I dropped my hand but stood my ground.
Steps rang out and a tall dark-haired woman in her early fifties came running then stopped abruptly and cursed in Italian, looking to the floor. She’d stepped in dog poo, which explained what I’d smelled. Her black flats were now covered with it.
“That’s it,” Cassio growled. “Tomorrow this thing is gone.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Moretti. I went into its room to clean and it slipped out. I tried catching it all day, but it’s too fast. And Daniele hid from me again. I don’t know—” She glanced my way and fell silent.
Cassio ignored her and stalked away. I followed hesitantly into a magnificent living room with herringbone parquet, then watched as my husband opened the terrace door and dropped the dog outside before closing the door. The dog peered in through the glass.
“You can’t do that,” I said, horrified.
Sybil gave me a look that conveyed I should keep my mouth shut. Cassio, however, ignored my comment altogether.
“Clean the dog shit,” Cassio ordered Sybil as he moved to a liquor cabinet, poured himself a drink, and sank down on the cognac-colored leather sofa. I couldn’t tear my eyes from the small dog sitting in the November cold with its nose pressed to the window. Sybil scurried away to follow her master’s command.
I stood in the middle of the living room, not sure what to do. One thing was for sure: I wouldn’t let that dog freeze to death outside. Cassio was the master of this house, in our society’s eyes—my master.
I walked over to the terrace door.
“Don’t.”
The word, without being said loudly, held absolute authority. Cassio was used to giving orders in every area of his life and expected unwavering obedience.
I didn’t look his way. If I saw his sharp eyes and powerful face, I might lose my courage. That wasn’t going to happen. This was the beginning of a new life, and if I let him trample all over me, I’d be doomed.
“Giulia, don’t.” Warning rang in his voice. Or what? He pushed off of the sofa when I opened the door and picked up the shivering ball of fluff. The dog remained quiet as I pressed it to my chest. I could feel matted fur from months of neglect.
Cassio towered over me, barring my way. I tipped my head up to meet his furious gaze. “That thing stays outside.” His eyes were harsh, but I didn’t look away. “I gave you an order.”
An order? “It seems I’m as badly trained as your dog.” Mother’s warning words about insolence rang in my head. It was too late, not that I would have taken anything back.
Cassio’s face flashed with surprise then anger. “Set it back down. I won’t allow you to bring it inside.”
Allow. Order. I was his wife, not his slave. But again, he was Underboss and probably didn’t understand the difference. “If the dog isn’t allowed inside, then I’ll stay outside with it. We can keep each other warm.” I turned to walk over to one of the lounge chairs, but Cassio’s arm shot out, stopping me.
I flinched. Father never hit me. Mother did twice. It wasn’t firsthand experience that had me wince, but I’d seen men hit women and children. My uncles, in particular, were of the violent sort. It happened often in our circles.
Cassio frowned and his fingers gently closed around my elbow. I regarded him curiously. “That flinch was unnecessary, and I don’t want it to happen again, all right?”
“You don’t want me to react that way or I won’t have reason to react that way?”
A ghost of a smile crossed Cassio’s face before the stern look was back. He leaned down so we were at eye level. “You won’t ever have reason to.”
“You sure?” I said it more to annoy him than anything else, but my words were softened by a tiny smile.
“Absolutely.”
“Good.”
His expression conveyed confusion. Was I that much of an enigma to him? “Now put the dog down.”
My smile widened. “No.”
He looked incredulous. Releasing my elbow, he cupped my chin between his thumb and forefinger and brought our faces even closer. This time I didn’t flinch, and I could see that it pleased him. “I gave you an order. I’m your husband and my word is law.”
“I know. And if you insist that the dog stays outside, I will too.”
Cassio narrowed his eyes. His breath held the hint of the spicy liquor, and I felt the crazy urge to taste it on his lips. “Do you really think I believe you’ll spend the night in the cold for a dog?”
I stared back stubbornly.
He barked out a laugh. “I think you might actually do it. Your parents didn’t mention your stubborn streak when they bartered you away.”
“They were too eager marrying me off to the cruelest Underboss of the Famiglia,” I muttered.
“The cruelest Underboss, hmm? That’s what they call me?”
“They did, and other people do too.”
“Why would your parents tell you something like that about your future husband?”
“To get me in line. My mother worried you might beat me to death if I’m insolent.”
Something on Cassio’s face shifted, a shadow of the past. “They shouldn’t have scared you before our wedding.”
“Is it a lie, then?” I whispered. For some reason his mouth appeared even closer than before.
“There’s no scale to judge someone’s cruelness.”
“That means it’s the truth.” He didn’t contradict me. I couldn’t read the look on his face. Acting on impulse, I leaned forward and brushed my lips across his then darted my tongue out, tasting the liquor clinging to his mouth. Smoky and sweet.
Cassio stiffened, but the look on his face became even more intense than before. “What was that?” His voice was a low rasp that I could feel everywhere.
“A kiss?” I didn’t have much experience, but I doubted anyone could mess up a simple kiss.
“Are you trying to influence me with your body?”
My eyes grew wide. “No. I could smell the liquor on your breath, and I was curious how it tastes.”
Cassio chuckled. “You are a strange girl.” His mouth twisted. “Woman.”
He looked down at the dog in my arms. It was snuggled against me peacefully. Without a word, Cassio turned around and returned to his glass of whisky on the table. I stepped inside and closed the door. Stroking the dog, I followed my husband.
“What’s its name?”
“Loulou,” Cassio said, a strange note to his voice. I stopped beside him.
“Can I have a sip of your whisky?”
Cassio’s eyes bored into me. “You’ve never had whisky before?”
“No. My father didn’t allow me to drink alcohol. I had my first glass at our wedding.”
“Many firsts for one day.” A small shiver passed down my spine at the contemplative growl. “You aren’t old enough for hard liquor.”
My lips parted in indignation. Was he serious?
He downed the remains of his drink, and before I could say something snarky, he cupped the back of my head and pressed his lips to mine. Gently at first, his eyes searching mine. I grasped his bicep and stood on my tiptoes—his permission. Then he really kissed me, his tongue stroking mine, discovering my mouth. The taste of whisky swirled in my mouth, intoxicating—not as much as the kiss though. God, his kiss set me aflame.
When he pulled back, I was dazed. Only Loulou squirming in my other arm brought me back to reality.
Cassio glanced over my head. “What is it, Sybil?”
I whirled around. Sybil hovered in the doorway, wringing her hands and looking anywhere but at me. She must have caught us kissing, and even though we hadn’t done anything indecent or forbidden, considering that we were married, acute embarrassment washed over me.
“The children are asleep, and I cleaned up. Is there anything else you need from me?”
“No, you can go.”
His clipped voice rubbed me the wrong way. Even if Sybil was working for him, that didn’t mean he had to sound like a drill sergeant. Sybil nodded and with a fleeting smile at me, she left.
“Can I see your children?”
Cassio’s brows furrowed. “The dog stays here, and we have to be quiet. I don’t want them to wake.”
“Where should I put Loulou?”
“We lock it in a room because the thing can’t behave itself.”
I pressed my lips together, following Cassio as he led me into the lobby and motioned at a door.
I pushed it open and my heart clenched. It must have been a storage room before, judging by the small window and shelves lining the walls. A torn apart basket, a litter box, and two empty bowls were the only indication that a dog lived here. There were no toys. I picked up one of the bowls and handed it to Cassio. “Can you fill it with water?”
Cassio regarded the bowl, then me.
“Please.” Loulou’s living arrangements had to change, and they would change, but today was only my first day. I’d have to be clever about my battle against my husband. He took the bowl and disappeared. I headed over to the torn apart basket and set Loulou down. She curled into herself. She must have let out her frustration on her basket if its destroyed state was an indication. No wonder considering she’d probably spent most of her days alone in this room. What had happened in this house? I stroked her head when Cassio walked back in with the water bowl. He set it down, and the moment he stepped back, Loulou trotted over to it and drank.
I straightened. I couldn’t hold back anymore. “How long has she been locked inside this room?”
Cassio’s expression tightened. “The dog’s out of control. I won’t have it shit and pee everywhere, not to mention snap at my children and everyone else.”
“How can you expect Loulou to behave if nobody takes care of her? She isn’t a machine, she’s a living being, and from what I see she hasn’t been treated the way she was supposed to. If you have an animal, you have to take care of it and not treat it like a thing you can put in a corner and take out when you feel like it.”
“I didn’t want the dog! Gaia did, and then I was left to deal with it like everything else.” He snapped his mouth shut as if he’d said more than he wanted, breathing harshly. Loulou hid in her basket at his outburst.
I stood my ground. “Then why didn’t you give Loulou to people who want her?” I kept my voice calm. Meeting Cassio’s anger with my own seemed like an unwise choice.
Cassio shook his head. “Let’s go upstairs. I have a busy day tomorrow.”
“Why?” I touched his forearm.
“Because Daniele lost his mother. He doesn’t need to lose this too!”
“I thought Loulou snaps at him.”
“She does,” Cassio said. “And she’s not allowed near him.”
“Then why—”
“Enough.” Cassio’s voice could have cut steel. He nodded toward the door. I walked out of the small room. Cassio closed it, locking Loulou in once more.
“Does Sybil walk her?”
Cassio gritted his teeth as he led me up the stairs. “No. It’s got that cat box in the room.”
“It needs to be walked. It’s not a cat.”
Cassio sent me a look that made it clear he expected me to shut up right this moment.
“I’ll walk it, then. You have a leash, right?”
He stopped on the second-floor landing, a vein in his temple throbbing. “You don’t have time to walk the dog. You’ve got my kids to take care of.”
His kids. He made it sound like I was his nanny—with the added bonus of sleeping with him.
“Kids need fresh air too.”
He gave me a condescending look as if I was a delusional child in need of reprimand. He didn’t think I’d be able to handle his children, much less a dog on top of it.
Maybe he was right, but one of us had to try. I had a feeling that no matter how in control of his soldiers, his city, and his life Cassio seemed, his own home and his family had slipped out of his hands. He was incapable of fixing it; maybe he’d even given up hope that it could be fixed. And now here I was, without the hint of knowledge about dogs or kids that went beyond what I’d read in books, supposed to deal with all this.
In the months since our engagement, I’d dreaded our wedding night. Now it seemed naïve that the simple act of sex had held so much trepidation for me. Sharing a bed with Cassio was the least of my battles. Fixing this family, making it somehow into my family, that was the most daunting challenge I could imagine.
Looking up into Cassio’s exhausted and wary eyes, I promised myself to master it.
