It was my third Friday at Rebel Blue, and things were going remarkably well. Besides another rodent incident—I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing that they were deceased this time—vaulting the ceiling went off without a hitch.
When we removed the surfaces of the walls, we found a few areas with original red brick underneath. I was planning to keep those exposed. It looked like we were going to end up with a lot more color in the house than I’d originally planned, but I loved it. I was sick of people asking me to make things look chic, and clean, and…beige.
Listen, I had nothing against beige. Objectively, beige was great.
But this place deserved more than beige.
Since we were starting to make our way into the putting-things-back-together phase of renovation, my hands were itching to start making things, and since I wasn’t skilled in carpentry and Aggie—who I had a lovely phone conversation with earlier in the week—was on that, I settled for curtains.
My car was still on the fritz, but I was able to order some plain white linen curtains online—a lot of them. And mallets.
I had a plan.
Even though I wouldn’t classify the weather in Meadowlark, Wyoming, as “warm” just yet, wildflowers were starting to pop up around the ranch, and I’d been collecting little bouquets of them throughout the week. Tonight I was going to spend some time doing something with my hands, and my brain.
I wasn’t good at drawing or painting or anything like that, but I could DIY the fuck out of anything, and that’s exactly what I was going to do with these curtains.
It was near the end of the day, and the crew was starting to clear out, so I began setting up my work for the evening. I laid out three curtains to start, and grabbed the box that held all the wildflowers I’d been collecting.
Evan had just left for the day when I heard a familiar voice at the door. “Ada Hart, you are the only person whose ass looks that good in a pair of overalls,” Teddy said.
I hadn’t seen Teddy in real life since I was nineteen, but even though she looked different—of course she did, it had been seven years—she was unmistakable.
I wasn’t sure if that was because of her looks or just her general presence—probably a little bit of both.
Her copper hair was pulled up in the same bouncy ponytail as the first time I met her. She was wearing black leggings, a white crop top, and a grin. She had a bottle of pink wine in her hands. Behind her, Emmy appeared. She was sporting a red matching sweat set that would’ve made me look like a clown, but somehow she looked cute and comfy, which felt unfair.
“It’s good to see you, Teddy,” I said, walking over to her. I didn’t normally do hugs, but it felt appropriate to greet Teddy with one. I was surprised that Emmy pulled me into one too—but with just one hand, since she was holding a few boxes of pizza.
“I didn’t even recognize it in here,” Emmy said when she pulled away. “It’s great.”
“Thanks,” I said awkwardly. Emmy intimidated me. I didn’t really know why—she was kind to me when we met. Funny too. It wasn’t that I didn’t like her—I just didn’t think that she’d like me.
“I’m literally so happy you said yes,” Teddy said. “Wes told us you’re keeping the colored tile in the bathrooms. He was like vibrating with excitement.”
“I love that pink tile,” Emmy said. “I’m trying to convince Luke that we need more pink in our home.”
“I agree on that,” Teddy chimed in. “Not nearly enough pink in the ClemenLuke household.” She turned to me. “When you’re done here, you should head there and convince Brooks to get rid of the flannel furniture.”
“It’s one flannel chair!” Emmy exclaimed. “He likes it!”
“When did you become a flannel apologist?” Teddy responded.
“Says the woman who I know for a fact has flannel sheets on her bed at this very moment.”
Teddy held up her hand to stop Emmy. “We’re not talking about me here.” I felt a pang in my chest—it was a pang in the same family as the one I’d felt when I’d first seen Luke and Emmy at breakfast that Sunday.
I didn’t have a lot of friends, and I especially didn’t have a lot of friends who were women. I never felt like I knew how to connect, or speak the right language, always just to the left of the right social cue. My mom never seemed to have that problem; she had only sisters and a group of girlfriends she was close to with whom she’d go to dinners or events. But she was beautiful and vivacious. I’d never seen myself as being like my mom.
So I’d built walls around myself. I didn’t prioritize cultivating female friendships. I employed a severe brand of “I’m not like other girls” and decided that disliking Taylor Swift, not wearing makeup, and listening to obscure indie bands would become my entire personality. All to distract from the fact that I actually wanted to be exactly like the other girls.
But by the time I realized that and got sick of thinking of the things I loved (pink! Twilight!) as guilty pleasures, it was too late. Everyone already had a best friend or a group that I didn’t fit into, and that was even more apparent as I’d watched Emmy and Teddy basically finish each other’s sentences.
“What are you guys doing here?” I said. It came off rude—like most things I said, and I shrank back a little.
“Wes told us you were staying down here for a while for a project; we came to see if you wanted company,” Emmy said.
“Girls’ night,” Teddy said. “And you can’t tell us no.” This whole thing made me nervous. Teddy was great, but I hadn’t spent time with her in years. What if it took less than five minutes for her to realize that I actually suck? “But you can tell us all about the fact that you got caught making out with Wes at the bar.” I gulped.
“Teddy!” Emmy was giving Teddy an “Are you serious right now?” look, but Teddy wasn’t looking at her. She was looking at me, and she was smiling like the Cheshire cat. I guess it would be kind of nice to talk about whatever was going on with Wes and me.
“I’m going to need some of that first,” I said, pointing to the wine that Teddy was holding. “And that,” I said, pointing to the pizza.
“We have a cheese, a veggie, and a double pepperoni,” Emmy said. We walked over to the workbench and set everything down. Teddy pulled a stack of paper plates and red cups from her bag.
“Knock, knock,” another woman’s voice came from the doorway. We all looked up—it was Cam. She walked into the house, still giving off the same power she had when she was in slacks and heels, but now she was in an oversize Margaritaville sweatshirt, biker shorts, and a pair of white sneakers.
“Party’s here,” Teddy said as she gave Cam a hug. Emmy hugged her too, and then Cam came to hug me. I was really going to have to get used to all of this hugging. I didn’t give or get a lot of human contact these days.
“I’m supposed to be picking up Riley,” Cam said, “but it looks like she’s not down here.”
“Who told you she was down here?” Emmy asked.
“Amos. He said he was down here too.”
Emmy thought about that for a second. “You should call him and tell him you’re staying here with us.”
Cam looked confused. “Why?”
“Because that’s what he wanted to happen.” Emmy shrugged. “Teddy and I went to the Big House first. He knew we were down here and that we would ask you to stay. He’s probably already got Riley excited about s’mores or something.”
“That man!” Cam shook her head.
“He worries that you work too much,” Emmy said. “And you do. So, all in favor of Cam staying, say aye.”
Teddy’s, Emmy’s, and my hands all shot up and we said “Aye” simultaneously. Cam rolled her eyes, but she was smiling as she pulled out her phone and dialed someone—Amos, I assumed. She put it on speaker.
“Hey,” she said. “Are you okay if I stay down here for a bit?”
“Stay down there all night,” Amos said cheerfully. “I’ve got you covered. Riley and I are doing s’mores.”
“S’mores!” a child’s voice said on the other end of the phone.
“Riley, be good for Papa, okay?”
“I’m always good at Papa’s,” Riley said matter-of-factly.
“Okay,” Cam said. “Have fun, Sunshine. I love you.”
“Love you, Mama.”
“Thank you, Amos,” Cam said.
“Have fun tonight, ladies,” Amos responded—assuming correctly that he was on speaker. “Love you.”
Teddy, Emmy, and Cam all responded “Love you” before hanging up the phone. It was weird, being around all of these people who seemed genuinely to like and care for one another.
“Now that that’s settled,” Teddy said as she twisted the cap off the bottle of rosé, “girls’ night can officially begin.”
Emmy grabbed a speaker out of Teddy’s bag and connected it to her phone. “How does everyone feel about a little Taylor Swift this evening?” Both Teddy and Cam nodded enthusiastically. “Ada?” she said, waiting for me to answer.
“Sure,” I said. In my “not like other girls” phase, I’d actively disliked Taylor Swift. Now I was just indifferent. After telling people that I didn’t like her for so long, I never really got into her music after that point in my life had passed.
Emmy looked at me for a second before she said, “Even if you don’t like her now, you will before you leave Rebel Blue.”
“We’ll crush that internalized misogyny, no problem,” Teddy added, and I couldn’t help but laugh, even though I kind of hated that both of them seemed able to read me like a book. “Show us what you’re doing to those curtains.” Teddy gestured to the large pieces of linen that I had laid out.
“Come see,” I said. “But leave the drinks over here.” All three of them dutifully set down their Solo cups and followed me to the middle of the room. I knelt, grabbed a purple wildflower out of my box, and positioned it on the bottom of the curtain. “I’m not sure if this is going to work, but we’ll see.” I put a piece of parchment paper over the flower and pressed it flat, then grabbed a mallet.
“I love hitting things,” Teddy said, rubbing her palms together. “This is going to be great.”
I hammered the parchment paper a few times, making sure I hit every point on the flower. “So ideally,” I started, “when I pull this parchment paper away, the flower should stick to it, and”—I peeled the parchment paper off the curtain—“the pigment from the flower should stay behind.”
An abstract image of the purple wildflower was indeed left behind. Emmy let out a delighted squeal. “This is so cool,” she said. “How did you come up with it?”
“There’s a lot of things swirling around up here,” I said, gesturing to my head. “And I’ve just been trying to think of ways to bring Rebel Blue Ranch inside this house in different ways.”
“I really love that. My dad is going to love it.” Emmy smiled thoughtfully down at the curtain. “You can say no, but do you think we could do some roses on a few of them?”
“Are there roses at Rebel Blue?” I asked.
“Yeah, my mom’s rosebushes are in front of the Big House. I think it would be cool if she was a part of this too.” Oh. Oh. When I first arrived, I’d spent a lot of time looking at the pictures in the Ryders’ living room. After Emmy was born, there were only a few with the woman that I figured was their mom. I correctly assumed that she’d passed away sometime around then.
“Yes, of course. I love that idea,” I said genuinely. Emmy smiled at me, and even though she and Wes didn’t look as much alike as she and Gus did, I could see their similarities.
“This is badass, Ada,” Teddy said. She rubbed her hands together. “Let’s do it.”
“Can we do some for my house too?” Cam joked. When they all complimented my idea, I started to feel…shy, like I had done something wrong somehow or like I didn’t deserve their praise. “Should we tear a bunch of parchment paper first? For prep?”
“That is the most Cam thing I’ve ever heard,” Teddy said.
“I already tore it all. I didn’t know if we could do it with one or if we would need multiples,” I chimed in.
Teddy looked between Cam and me. “Oh my god, there’s another one,” she said.
“Some of us like to be prepared,” Cam responded with a laugh. “Not all of us can get away with flying by the seat of our pants.”
“What can I say, I’m gifted.” Teddy flipped her ponytail. “But since the parchment paper situation has been covered, I say we start with pizza and then get hammering.”
So that’s what we did.
I didn’t know if I’d ever been a part of any sort of girls’ night—maybe a sleepover or two in middle school or something—but it had always been more one of those things I saw in movies or on TV. This night made me miss something that I’d never experienced, and now I knew that I was right to miss it.
Emmy and Teddy were sitting on the floor, clutching each other’s faces and screaming to a Taylor Swift song about begging someone not to be in love with someone else; Cam was double-fisting slices of pizza; and I was soaking it all in. Cam set down one of her pizza slices and picked up her cup. Out of nowhere, she dropped her Solo cup full of rosé on the floor before she could take a drink. We all looked at her. She was staring out the front window and she looked like she’d seen a ghost.
“Cam, are you okay?” I asked.
She shook her head, but not like she was shaking it no—like she was trying to shake something out of it. “Yeah, sorry,” she said softly. “I just…I thought I saw someone.” She had barely finished speaking when there was a knock on the front door.
All of our heads turned toward the sound as a man wearing a black cowboy hat walked into the living room. He had wavy blond hair that fell to his chin. His hair reminded me of a beach in Southern California. His face was angular, and a silver ring pierced one of his nostrils. He was tall, tan, and tattooed. I could see an A tattooed in an Old English font at the base of his throat on the right side.
Teddy let out a squeal and was immediately off the floor and running toward him. He caught her with ease, and she laughed. “Dusty Tucker, what the hell are you doing here?” she cried. “Last time I heard, you were wrangling cattle in Australia.” Ah, so this was who Wes was telling me about.
Emmy had gotten off the floor too, and she went to give Dusty a hug. “Hey, Dusty,” she said. She shot a quick glance back at Cam. It was concerned, so I looked back at Cam, who looked even more uneasy than she had after she’d dropped her cup. She saw me looking and quickly shook it off. I saw Cam’s mask go up. I could tell when it happened because I did that too and knew exactly what it looked like.
“What are you doing here?” Emmy asked Dusty.
“Emmy, good to see you too,” he responded.
“It’s girls’ night, no boys allowed.”
“Not even me?”
“Not even you,” Teddy chimed in. “But it is good to see you. Welcome home.” Dusty’s eyes scanned the room, resting on me for a second before landing on Cam. I watched his eyes widen, then go back to normal. When his eyes landed on her, it was like someone sucked the oxygen out of the room.
“Ash,” he said, still looking at Cam.
“Dusty,” she responded. Did her voice…shake?
“So, Emmy,” he said, but he was still looking at Cam—I could’ve sworn he glanced at her left hand too. “I heard you and Brooks are a thing now.” There was a hint of something in his tone. Sarcasm, maybe? Surprise?
“What about it?” Emmy said, crossing her arms over her chest. When I looked at her, the first thing I thought was Damn, that woman can shoot some dirty looks. I made a mental note never to say anything bad about Brooks in front of Emmy.
“I think it’s great,” Dusty said, finally looking away from Cam and holding his arms up in surrender. “I’m just shocked because I think the last time I saw the two of you together, you were ripping him a new one at a bonfire.”
“Things change,” Emmy responded.
Dusty looked at Cam again. “Yeah, they do.”
“I’m Ada,” I said, feeling I needed to protect Cam for some reason—like I needed to get his eyes off her. Dusty looked at me.
“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard great things.” He reached out, and I shook his hand.
“Seriously, though,” Emmy said, “it’s girls’ night, so you gotta get out.”
“Weirdly, enough,” Dusty said, “it’s also guys’ night, but apparently I’m in the wrong place.”
“They’re at Gus’s,” Emmy said, and Teddy made a gagging noise. “Why would they be here?”
“I don’t know,” Dusty responded. “That’s just what your dad said when I stopped at the Big House.” Interesting that Amos Ryder had sent two people down here today.
“All right, well, time to go,” Emmy said. She put her hands on Dusty’s elbows and turned him around so he was facing the door.
“I’m going, I’m going,” he said, but before he went out the door, he turned back to Cam and said, “You look good, Ash.” Then he was gone.
I looked at Cam. “Ash?”
She swallowed and shrugged. “Old nickname. My last name is Ashwood.”
