Even more beautiful than the girls in the magazines and the movies that my brother kept. When our eyes lock, I can’t seem to pull away even though I should. A gorgeous girl like her isn’t going to want to be associated with someone who has never even been in a grocery store before.
Finally, I pull my eyes away and turn back to the list that I have in my hand. No, there’s no way that she’d believe that I’m twenty-eight and never been in a grocery store. My brother did all the grocery shopping. The only time that I ever came in was to bring into town my furs and the items I made. Then I’d bring them to the local shop and meet up with my friends Axel, Phoenix, and Bennett before heading back to the cabin.
The only reason my brother let me do even that chore is because he didn’t like to waste anything. Since I was reusing the furs from the animals we hunted, he approved. But he’s not a very sociable person, so he was more than happy to let me negotiate with Jack, the store owner.
Then about a year ago, my brother started to get sick with really terrible migraines and he’d have spells where he just wasn’t acting like himself. Because he didn’t trust doctors, he refused to see anyone. Finally, I was able to convince him to see a doctor that made house calls. In order that he wouldn’t fight the doctor too much, I had to sedate him.
After the doctor took some blood samples and ran some tests come to find out, it was cancer. Of course, my brother refused any kind of treatment, so it was my job to take care of him. But now that he has passed away, everything falls to me. When I need it, Axel and his wife Emelie have been a huge help. But I figured I could at least figure out the grocery store myself.
I’m in the pasta and sauce aisle. Since we only ever made our own pasta, I had no idea you could buy it in a box in the store. Or that it came in so many different shapes. Pasta is pasta, so why do you need fettuccine, linguine, angel hair to name a few?
Going down the next aisle, I stock up on dried beans, some canned beans, and peanut butter. Then I stand in front of the jellies. We’ve only ever made strawberry or huckleberry jam at home because those fruits grow wild on our property. But here there’s grape, apple, peach, blueberry, orange, and even blackberry jam. Even though I have plenty of canned jelly back home, I pick up some peach, and an apple jam to give it a try.
The next section is the bread. While we’ve always only made our own bread, I knew that you could buy some at the store because every once in a while, my brother would come home with a loaf of freshly baked bread for us to try and a recipe to make ourselves if we wanted.
I just didn’t realize there were so many different varieties of regular sandwich bread. Who knew that you could even make bread out of potatoes? I shake my head and then glance back toward the girl sitting in the coffee area. She’s looking at the computer in front of her but like she can feel my eyes on her, she looks up at me and our eyes lock again, then offers me a small smile. Even though she’s probably just trying to be nice to the creep who keeps looking at her, I return her smile and go up the next aisle.
This aisle is full of cake mixes, frostings, flour, sugar, and all the things that we use for baking. Again, it’s overwhelming all the many choices and all the different brands. Why do you need more than one brand of baking powder? Baking powder is baking powder. Shaking my head, I grab the familiar red and white can.
I’m studying my list again when someone comes up the aisle. Moving in closer to the shelves to give them room, I’m surprised when they stop in front of my cart. But when I look up, it’s the girl from earlier. She’s even more beautiful up close.
With her so near to me, I can tell her dark auburn hair that falls just below her shoulders has flecks of red that glint in the light and her golden brown eyes light up when she smiles. Because right now, she’s smiling at me. That smile is making my heart do funny things. It’s racing and I’m nervous around her, yet at the same time, I’m wanting to be around her.
‘Hi, I’m Hope,’ she says with a huge smile on her face. Even her voice sounds perfect. I have no idea what to say or if I could even talk if I tried. Right now, she has me transfixed.
‘And you are…?’ Her voice is gentle, and she seems genuinely interested and hoping I will answer.
Clearing my throat, I answer, ‘Cash, my name is Cash.’
My words win me an even brighter smile from her. I swear I feel like I just won the jackpot.
‘Cash as in Johnny Cash?’
I have no idea how my parents decided on the name Cash, as they died when I was too young, and I never thought to ask my brother.
‘I have no idea who that is,’ I tell her honestly.
She nods, looks at me, and glances at my cart. I’ve earned a few stares since I’ve been here. But her eyes on me, I don’t mind. In fact, I actually like her eyes looking at me, which is weird because I always try to blend in and not stand out too much. My brother drilled into my head not to draw attention to us, especially when I was a kid.
‘Well, you look a bit lost.’
Apparently, she’s good at reading people and that’s a skill that I don’t have. It makes things difficult to know if she’s just trying to be nice or if she feels the same way I do. Actually, I’m not even sure what this feeling even means.
‘Well, it’s my first time… here,’ I admit. Hoping that she takes it to mean this store in particular, but not the inside of a grocery store altogether.
‘Well, I’m happy to help. Is that your list? Can I see it?’ She points to the piece of paper in my hand. Before I know it, I’m handing it to her.
She studies the list for a minute and then smiles and nods and moves a little further down the aisle before stopping to pick up a few things and handing them to me.
‘Are you new to town?’
It seems like she’s thinking that I meant I had never been to the store before. Thankfully, because the other conversation isn’t one that I really want to have.
‘No.’
Her smile slips for just a second before we move down to the next aisle. ‘So does your wife or girlfriend normally do the grocery shopping?’
I can’t help but wonder how shocked she’d be if she found out that I’ve never had a girlfriend. While I know it’s normal for people to date, and at my age most people are married and some even have kids, but growing up on the mountain, I never had an opportunity. With just my brother, we didn’t meet a lot of people. As far as I know, my brother never had a girlfriend or dated. He simply never had that kind of trust in people.
‘No wife or girlfriend. My brother Harvey, usually just took care of all the shopping.’
She nods, seeming to accept it without asking too many questions. As we keep walking up and down the aisles, she hands me different items from my list.
‘I’m pretty new to Whiskey River myself. Just moved here a few months ago. I’m from Georgia, but I have to say I fell in love with this area and knew that this is where I was meant to be and put down roots.’
So that must be a southern accent that she has. Even though I’ve heard of a southern accent, I never actually heard anyone with one. But I love her voice and want her to keep talking, so when she looks at me I nod, hoping she’ll take it as a sign to keep going.
‘I’m a freelance book editor. Almost every day, I come in here to use the Internet. The less money I spend, the sooner I can get my own place. As I’m sure you know, this area is not cheap, but I like using the Wi-Fi here. It gets me out of the house and has allowed me to meet people. That’s how I met Jana, who is the store manager here. People in town have been really nice, too.’ She smiles while continuing to hand me things off my list. I keep my mouth shut.
I wouldn’t know how people in town are. They pretty much abandoned my brother and me after our parents died. Now they ignore me. If it weren’t for my friends from the shop, and Axel’s wife, Emelie, and Phoenix’s wife, Jenna, I’d have absolutely no one. Though I try not to think about it because I know how lucky I am and thinking about the what ifs will get me nowhere.
We continue shopping. She keeps talking, but every once in a while, she’ll stop and say hi to someone. Sometimes, she’ll introduce me and there’s a flash of recognition in their eyes. Other times they just say hi and continue talking to her. She seems to be well-liked. But how could she not be? She’s friendly, and it’s comfortable to be with her.
When we’re done shopping, we get to the checkout lines, and she stops and offers me a small smile, and hands me back my list.
‘I’m at the cafe Monday through Friday and sometimes on weekends, too. You’re welcome to come and sit with me if you want.’ Then she shrugs her shoulders, looking a little shy, making her look absolutely adorable.
‘Thank you. I really enjoyed your company.’
We stare at each other for a few minutes until it’s time for me to move up in the line and load my items up on the moving table. Before going back to her table, she nods her head, giving me a little wave.
As the cashier scans my groceries, I keep looking over at her and can feel her eyes on me as well. When she catches me watching her, she gives me a small smile.
When I’m done checking out and I’m loading up my truck, I play over our conversation. Was she inviting me back to spend time with her because she wanted to or was she just trying to be nice?
