stop smiling today. After everyone left yesterday, Cash carried me to the bedroom and made love to me all night. It was the last wall that needed to be knocked down between us and I’ve never felt so free in my life.
Today, Cash had to go out and check his trap lines. Even though I hate being away from him, I desperately need to get to this book edited. But I can’t concentrate on it for long before my thoughts drift back to last night.
It was the perfect night with the company of our friends around. On one hand, it felt like a girl’s night, but I liked having Cash and the other men not far away. What I really liked was that he wanted to be there. There was a moment in the kitchen with Emelie where everything just clicked, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved him more than any words could say.
As Emelie sat at the table last night announcing her pregnancy and the talk of bringing a baby into this world, all I could think about was having that with Cash. All night long, I would think about it and my thoughts would go to having a baby. But the highlight of the evening was the look on his face when I said I loved him. It was everything.
While I wish I hadn’t waited so long to say it, yet the look of happiness and delight on his face was completely worth it. And then last night I’ve never felt more treasured or more wanted in my whole life.
Cash woke me up with breakfast in bed and we lay there, talking about starting a family up here on the mountain. What would that entail? How many kids we wanted and so on. We talked about a life up here with the two of us. As we opened up to each other, we were on the same page about so much. It was easy to see the life that we were talking about. All along it’s been right there in front of me and I had been scared for so long to love him, to love anyone. It’s crazy how being scared stopped me from something I wanted so much.
After we finished breakfast, he made love to me yet again. When we finally got out of bed and I mentioned I really had to get this book edited, he said he needed to go check his trap lines.
Since he was only going to be gone no more than two hours, he decided to take Hank with him. For a while now, he’s been wanting to see what Hank would do on the trap lines. It’s been so quiet here that we both feel safe on the mountain again.
Eventually, the guys decided the man that was seen in the woods was some tourist wanting to see some other cabins in the area. Even though it wasn’t the best way to be looking for real estate. But since there’s been no other sightings, there’s really nothing that we can do about it.
Even still, he left me with a gun and told me to lock the doors after him. Shaking my head to dislodge my unease, I turn back to my editing. I need to get this edit done so that when Cash gets back, I can spend the rest of the day with him without worrying about it.
Finally, I get into the groove, finish the edit and get it off to the author. Closing up the computer, I’m stretch while trying to decide what to do to keep me busy until Cash gets back.
When there’s a knock on the door, I’m in the kitchen checking ingredients for something I want to make. My heart starts to race, but there’s no other sound. If it was Cash, he’d call through the door.
Walk over to where I have the gun sitting, I pick it up before slowly moving to the door. There’s another knock. A much more impatient one this time. I hesitate, a bit frustrated I can’t see who it is.
Maybe it’s one of the guys needing help with something, or maybe it’s Cash and he’s hurt.
I open the door, not sure who is there, but the last person I expected to be on the other side was my mother. Using my slight moment of shock, she pushes her way in to the cabin.
‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ I ask. I thought she had left town, especially after breaking into my old apartment and seeing me gone.
‘I asked around in town. Apparently, you didn’t talk to people about me so when I pulled the whole oh, I’m in town to surprise her but she wasn’t at her cabin bit, they were more than happy to tell me how to find you. Your friend Jana was especially… helpful,’ she says. The smile on her face is not one that I’ve ever seen and it gives me a chill. It’s full of malice and bad intentions.
It’s then I realize it’s been a few days since I’ve heard from Jana. Not since the day that she came up here and we spent some time together. Making a mental note to check on her once I get my mom out of here.
Jana knows the issues I’ve had with my mother in the past and she wouldn’t have told my mom where to find me. So the fact that my mom is mentioning her at all means something’s up. I can only imagine what type of lie she told her.
‘What do you want, Mom? “I am hoping that I can get her out of here before Cash gets back.
‘Like I told you the last time you were so rude to me, I need money. Rumor in town has it your little boyfriend has plenty of it.’
‘No way is he going to give you any money. You’ll just use it on drugs, anyway.’
‘See, I’ve thought about this. I raised you, closed you, fed you, and kept a roof over your head for the first eighteen years of your life. I figure you owe me. Now that you’ve landed yourself a sweet little life here, the least you can do is help dear old mom out.’ Her voice is different as she speaks.
Not quite in arm’s distance from me, but even from here, I can see the red in her eyes, and the dark circles. The smell coming off her confirms she hasn’t showered in God knows how long. All telltale signs that she’s using.
But this new version of her with the malice and the pure evil in her voice, I don’t know what to make of it. Is it an effect from the people she’s hanging out with? Or is it because of some new drugs she’s on?
I have no idea, nor do I care to truly to find out. I just want her gone.
‘Well, I have no money here and Cash isn’t going to just hand it over,’ I tell her.
What I don’t say is that Cash isn’t here. Though it’s pretty obvious at this point if he was, he would have made himself known by now. Even in my mom’s altered state, I’m sure she knows that, too.
She’s looking around the cabin like she doesn’t have a care in the world before her eyes land back on me.
‘Hmmmm, that really was the wrong answer,’ she says.
A moment later, there’s a loud crashing sound coming from the back door.
I’m relieved thinking Cash is here, but when I turn around, I find the guy my mom claims that she left, the same guy she was dating when I left Georgia.
He stumbles a moment before he stalks right towards me.
‘I thought you said you left him,’ I say.
As she’s opening the door, I’m thinking I can get them at least out of the house.
Instead, my mother blocks the door. When I try to push my way through, there are hands on my arms, pinning them to the sides of my body pushing me through the door.
When she was under the influence, my mom always seemed to have more strength, and it seems that they both are on something. I still have the gun in my hand, and I struggle to get it up, but it’s difficult because he has me pinned at my elbows.
At this point, I don’t care who I shoot. I get the gun up as best I can and take a shot. Unfortunately, I miss them both and my mom knocks it out of my hand. And my one chance at protecting myself is gone.
‘No. You couldn’t just do this the easy way. If you’d have given us money, we would have left you alone.’ My mother says like she’s the one that has a reason to be annoyed at my behavior.
‘We both know you wouldn’t have stopped at that. There would always be more and more demands.’ I bite out as I try to free myself, pulling and twisting and turning, but whatever this guy is hopped up on has him really strong.
‘You always were a troublesome child. You could never just do what you were told. Always you had to be loud, speak your opinion and do what’s right.’ she puts what’s right in air quotes.
Then I’m slowly being pushed towards the tree line, right where we would always find the footprints. That’s when it registers it was my mom’s boyfriend. He was the man in the hoodie, the man who has been standing on the edge of the woods. All this time, he was in town with her.
When I drag my feet, trying to make my tracks as noticeable as possible, it also slows us down. Then they start to get frustrated.
‘Can’t you tell that we’ve won? Would you just stop fighting us already?’ Mom asks, clearly annoyed, reaching into her purse. Finally, she finds what she’s looking for and then she moves so fast I don’t see what she’s doing.
What I do feel is a prick in my arm. A moment later, the world seems to get a little wobbly and my peripheral vision starts closing in on me. I can’t open my mouth to speak.
Right before everything goes black, I hear my mom laughing.
