I lose control until I’m just emotions, sensations, and need.
Trying to make sense of what’s happening is no longer an option. I don’t think of him as the head of the mafia, my stepbrother, the age gap.
All I can process is how good this man feels and tastes. So so good.
When his grip around my throat loosens, and the kiss becomes downright dirty, my hands move to his chest. I drink in the feel of the hard planes I got to see the first time we met.
Nikolas pushes both hands into my hair, his body presses against mine as if he’s trying to envelop me in all of him. It makes my desire grow, loving the feel of his power and his unnerving intensity swallowing me whole.
One of his hands leaves my hair, then his fingers burn a hot path over my collar bone and further down. His palm takes the weight of my breast, and he squeezes so hard, I whimper against his mouth. My lips tingle from all the friction, but I can’t get enough of the dark and predatory taste of him.
I’ve lost my mind.
Nikolas’ other hand drops down to my bottom, and as his fingers dig into my buttcheek, he lets go of my breast. His palm burns over my curves before slipping between my legs. He cups me through the light summer dress I’m wearing, a satisfied groan rumbling from deep in his chest.
Lifting my hands to the sides of his jaw, I get drunk on the feel of the bristles beneath my fingers.
God, this man.
Our breaths are ragged, and all I can do is gasp. Suddenly he tears his mouth away from mine, then he licks the sensitive skin over my racing pulse before biting down.
A needy whimper leaves me, my eyes almost rolling back in my head from how deliriously good it feels.
His palm starts to massage me between my legs, and well past the point of reasoning, my hips swivel, and I press down against his touch.
“Fuck,” he snaps, urgency lacing the harsh word. Lifting my dress, Nikolas shoves his hand past the lace of my panties. Feeling him touch me in such an intimate way has my abdomen clenching unbelievably hard.
His finger thrusts inside me, ripping another groan from him. “Jesus, you’re soaked.”
My cheeks flame, but before I can start to feel self-conscious, his mouth crushes against mine again. I’m swept away on a cloud of pleasure. Whimpers and gasps are my only way of communicating how good it feels.
He moves with force, his palm kneading me relentlessly, his finger plunging in and out of me until my body tenses, and an orgasm – so intense it robs me of all my other senses –seizes me in its electrifying hold.
I cry into Nikolas’ mouth, my nails scraping over his jaw while my body convulses against his. He forces me to ride the orgasm until the last drop of strength is drained from me.
Lifting his head, we gasp for air. My eyes open in time to see unbridled lust tightening his features.
It takes a moment for us to realize what just happened. Nikolas pulls his hand from my panties, and taking a step back, his face sets in an unreadable mask.
Long seconds tick by, the realization that I just let Nikolas kiss and touch me, shuddering through me.
I let him make me come.
Holy fuck.
Why did I let it happen?
I don’t get time to process anything. Nikolas’ eyes drift over my body, then he looks down at the finger he just had inside me.
Lifting his eyes back to my face, there’s only brutality in his dark gaze. “Leave.”
What?
When I don’t react, he barks, “Get out, Theresa!”
My heart lurches painfully, and crouching, I pick up my handbag before running out of the office.
I make it to the SUV and even strap on my seat belt before a hard tremor rocks my body. All the emotions I suppressed rush back like a tidal wave.
Shame.
Confusion.
Anger.
My anxiety spirals into chaos and digging in my bag, I grab the bottle of Xanax. I quickly place the pill beneath my tongue, and closing my eyes, I try to breathe through the harsh reality.
Nikolas kissed me and made me orgasm as punishment.
Seriously? Is that really the reason?
Is he so cruel that he’d humiliate me just to make a point?
My emotions become a whirlpool of destruction, sucking my heart into a dark hole.
But…
Did he enjoy it because he desired me or because he just wanted to exert his power over me?
By the time the SUV stops in front of my apartment building, the Xanax has kicked in, and all that remains is a world of hurt and confusion.
My legs are numb as I take the stairs to the fourth floor, and when I reach my front door, the first tear falls. I go inside and throw my bag on the table before locking up behind me. Leaning back against the door, I slide down until my butt hits the floor. I wrap my arms around my shins and press my face against my knees.
I can’t believe he would be so cruel. I understand there’s no love lost between us, but to use sex as an instrument to control me is crossing the line.
But it felt like he really wanted me. The way he kissed me was like I was his next breath.
Lifting my head, I begin to frown.
Maybe he lost control, and afterward, he was just as shocked as me? Maybe he didn’t intend for it to happen, and he didn’t try to use it as a tool to force me to abide by his rules?
What if the physical attraction is two-sided?
My eyebrows lift as I consider the possibility. Surely, he would’ve reveled in the fact if he had meant to hurt me? If there’s one thing I know, Nikolas won’t let the opportunity pass him by to put me in my place.
Holy shit.
That means…
The attraction is mutual, and he wanted me as much as I wanted him.
Hate set aside, we both enjoyed it.
Holy. Shit.
Does that mean I actually have some power in this twisted game?
