SHE WANTS TO LEAVE. I ride out to meet my greatest enemy and she wants to leave.
I know my fears are irrational. I know after all that we have been through I shouldn’t be holding on to these old insecurities but I cannot help it. If I allow her to go, she will never return. I feel it in my bones.
There is something not right here. Something about this feels wrong. Not just her wanting to leave but this whole situation has my beast rattling around in my chest. If she goes she will not come back. For all that I trust her, I do not trust this situation.
Something is trying to take her from me, I know it.
She is mine. The beast inside me growls in agreement, it does not want her to leave either. Now she is staring at me, seething with her small fangs bared at me.
“What do you mean, you are forbidding me from going home?”
“Exactly what I said,’’ I say. I have to keep firm even though it cuts me to see her look at me with such disdain in her eyes. “You are to remain in Myrkorvin. That is my order to you.”
“You do not give me orders!” she shouts.
“Yes, I do! As your king and as your husband, I command you to stay inside this castle until I return.”
She scoffs at me and shakes her head. “If that is how you view the vows we just made then you are no better than Ryvik.” She goes to grab one of the satchel bags I have hanging but I grasp her wrist. “Let me go.”
I drop my hand but press on. “How do you know this isn’t some trick? Your father was in fine health three weeks ago and now he has some mysterious illness that will take him before the moon rises?” She glares at me but continues stuffing things into the bag.
“I wouldn’t question it if it were you.” That thought warms me but I cannot let her leave. I just got her, I cannot lose her already.
“What are you so afraid of? I can tell that’s what this is. You only get this irrational and pig-headed when you are scared. So what is it, Arkain?” She stands there with her hand on her hips. Gods, she is so beautiful. And fierce and loyal.
It’s obvious I never deserved her.
“How can I be sure that the moment you get home you never wish to return? That you realize that there is nothing for you here to return to.”
“I have you to return to.”
“And you expect me to believe that’s a good enough reason for you to come back?”
“You do not believe my feelings for you are true?” Her words are wounded. My emotions are high and I am panicking. Of course I know she is genuine. Isn’t she?
“Maybe you saw me for the lonely king I was and decided that I was a safe bet. A king you could placate with sweet words and soft touches and I would give you the power you were so hungry for.”
Her slap sounds worse than it feels. But it does the trick in breaking me from my insecure ramblings. I open my mouth to take it back. To tell her that she can…go?
But no, I cannot allow it. No matter how much I hate how she’s looking at me. Something about this is off.
“If that is how you truly see me,” she says in a cold voice I have never heard before. “then perhaps it is best if I never return.”
She turns on a heel and flees the room, and I let her. Even with my beast pushing me to grab her, keep her. Until I can get to the root of all of this, I am powerless to do anything but what I’ve always done when it comes to Elvie.
Give her exactly what she wants.
