“I’m still waiting, guys,” I crooned, as I set three disposable cups of hot chocolate down and joined my friends at the table they had managed to snag in our favorite coffee shop the following afternoon. “Tell me you’re super proud of me.”
“Super?” Lizzie rolled her eyes and reached for her mug. “What are we? Five years old again, Claire?”
“Nope, we’re all sweet sixteen and never been kissed,” I chirped back, feeling better than I deserved given last night’s antics. Apparently, I had the stomach of a horse, and the immunity of a demigod. Hangover who?
“Speak for yourself,” my dry-witted friend shot back with a snort. “Isn’t that right, Shan?”
“Liz,” Shannon choked out a laugh. “Don’t be bad.”
“Okay,” I drawled. “Let me rephrase that to I’m sweet sixteen and never been kissed. You two are modern women of the world, all loved up and married off to your rugby studs.”
Shannon beamed, while Lizzie gaped at me in horror. “First off, I’m closer to seventeen than both of you. And second, I would rather shit in my hands and clap than marry anyone,” she deadpanned. “Much less Pierce.”
“What?” My mouth fell open. “You just texted this morning saying it was back on.”
She shrugged uncommittedly. “I spoke too soon.”
“Poor Pierce,” Shannon mused. “He really likes you, Liz.”
“Oh, please, Shan. He really likes my tits.”
“Lizzie!” she squealed, slapping a hand over her mouth to bury the snort that escaped her.
“What?” Lizzie shrugged uncommittedly. “It’s true. And as for you, miss sweet sixteen—” she paused to point a finger at me “—you’ve been kissed.” Winking, she added, “Twice.”
“Oh yeah.” Shannon’s eyes lit up. “Jamie Kelleher at the school disco in second year, wasn’t it?”
“Ugh. Don’t remind me,” I groaned, burying my head in my hands. “That was a horrendous ordeal I would sooner saw my arm off than repeat.”
“And don’t forget Thor,” Lizzie added, expression laced with disgust. “He came first. Claire let that creep put his mouth on her during a game of Spin the Bottle long before Jamie ever came along.”
“Hey,” Shannon and I both said in unison, “he’s not a creep.”
“No, he’s just related to one,” Lizzie shot back, tone laced with venom.
I narrowed my eyes in warning. “Liz.”
“Which makes him a creep in my mind.”
“Oh my God, you are like a broken record!”
“Okay, okay, let’s change the subject, guys,” Shan was quick to interject before another full-blown argument ensued. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time.
Lately, Lizzie’s moods had been turbulent, to put it mildly, while my patience with her bad attitude was running thin.
When I had tried to talk to her about the cut on her leg, she’d all but taken my head off. When I’d told her that I was going to talk to her mother, she’d flipped out even more. Then, after giving me the cold shoulder for a week, Liz had told me that I was, in no uncertain terms, to keep my nose the hell out of her business if I valued our friendship.
Apparently, it was okay for Shannon to broach the subject, though, because she received no such response when she tried.
I got that she had an issue with Gerard, but it was a completely irrational and unfounded one that I, quite frankly, had enough of excusing. I was getting tired of being pounded on, too. I was always the punching bag. Never Shannon.
“I’m super proud of you,” Shannon offered then, smiling across the table at me. “For getting the job. It’s amazing news, Claire.”
“Thanks, chickie.” I beamed, momentarily appeased, as a wave of pride rolled through me. When time passed by and I didn’t hear back from Hugh’s boss, I assumed I’d been unlucky. However, Kim called this morning to say that I could start during midterm break. It wasn’t big money, and the shifts were every second weekend, but it was a start. “Your girl here is officially on the work ladder.”
“Courtesy of our girl here’s brother,” Lizzie reminded me before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “Hugh is always bailing you out.”
“So?” I batted the air with my hand, refusing to let her goad me into another argument. “That’s what big brothers are for.”
“Sinead is going to be thrilled,” Shannon offered, attention flicking between my face and the phone she was discreetly glancing at from under the table. No prizes for which particular rugby player was sending her sneaky sex texts. Number thirteen. Cough, cough. “She’s been wanting you to get a job since your birthday, hasn’t she?”
“Oh yeah, she’s been tormenting me since August.” I nodded in confirmation. “Mam’s always been very serious about both Hugh and I making our own way in life. She’s like ‘just because you two are in the fortunate position to not have to work until you finish school doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t.’” I took a sip of chocolatey goodness before continuing, “Hugh got a job as soon as he turned sixteen as well.”
“Lifeguarding, too, right?”
“Uh-huh.” I nodded eagerly. “We’re both fully trained and qualified.”
“Wow.” Shannon leaned back in her chair with an impressed expression etched on her face. “I knew you volunteered at the pool, but I didn’t know you were an actual qualified lifeguard.”
“Yep, I took the test the day after my birthday.”
“Whoa.”
“Meh.” I shrugged and offered her a wink. “Some families produce hurlers.”
“And some produce swimmers,” she filled in with a smile.
“It’s because of what happened when they were kids,” Lizzie said, eyes locked on the rim of her mug. “Because of what happened to him.”
“Gibsie and his family?” Shannon asked in a soft tone.
Lizzie nodded stiffly, but thankfully had the good grace to not toss a mean comment out in this moment.
“It was his First Holy Communion Day, wasn’t it?” Shannon’s blue eyes widened. “You guys were all there?”
“Not me,” Lizzie replied. “Claire and Hugh were.”
“After the accident, Mam put us straight into swimming lessons,” I explained, feeling the familiar wave of sadness settle heavily on my shoulders at the memory. “Dad’s an amazing swimmer, and Mam’s not too bad herself, but she wanted to prepare us.” Repressing a shudder, I tucked a curl behind my ear and smiled across the table at both of them. “It’s an essential life skill to have, and it kind of feels like giving back, you know?”
“Which is why you volunteer at the public pool?”
I shrugged. “Not every family can afford to send their children to swimming lessons,” I explained. “It’s expensive, and you would be horrified if you knew the statistics on accidental drowning in Ireland.”
“Well, we do live on an island.”
“Which is why the government really need to do something about it,” I urged, drumming my fingers on the table as I spoke. “Swimming should be a compulsory course in primary schools across the country. I mean, algebra won’t save your life, but the breaststroke might. I’ve been writing to the board of education about this since fourth class, but I’ve never gotten a decent response,” I added, scrunching my nose up in disapproval. “Just the usual ‘it’s at the discretion of each individual school’ spiel they’ve been feeding me since forever.”
“I am proud of you for that,” Lizzie interjected, reaching a hand over the table to cover mine. “You must have written at least seventy letters since fourth class.” Smiling, she added, “Your tenacity is admirable.”
“Thanks, Liz,” I replied, giving her hand an affectionate squeeze, earlier tension forgotten, as a momentary glimpse of the girl I’d grown up with shone through the dark cloud that followed her around.
It was at that exact moment in time, the glass door of the coffee shop swung open, and in walked a familiar face.
“Hey, stranger!” I called out with a wave, as my brother’s bestie took in his surroundings with his usual, thoughtful blue-eyed gaze before scanning our table and strolling towards us. “I feel like we haven’t seen you in forever.”
“You saw me at school yesterday,” he replied with a smile.
“But you haven’t been over to the house lately.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. It’s been manic on the farm,” Patrick explained. He looked ridiculously hot for a boy dressed in wellies, faded blue jeans, and an old, half-torn, white t-shirt. And the rustic wine-colored pleated overshirt he had on was the perfect icing on a very delectable cake. He was all dark hair, shy smiles, sun-kissed skin, and soulful blue eyes. The perfect recipe for teenage heartbreak. “Hey, Shan. Liz.”
“Hi, Feely.”
“Patrick.”
“You look good, Pa,” I decided to tell him, waggling my brows with mischief. “Super handsome.”
“Jesus.” Lizzie rolled her eyes. “Again with the word super, Claire?”
“What?” I held my hands up. “He does.”
I wasn’t the only one to notice, either. Several girls at other tables littered around the café had all turned their heads in his direction. Heck, even Lizzie was looking.
“Thanks,” he chuckled with a shy smile, reaching into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet. “Want anything from the counter, girls?”
“Nah, we’re good,” I answered for all of us, and then watched in amusement as Lizzie’s eyes tracked him all the way to the counter.
Oh, yeah, she was definitely looking at Patrick.
The only one immune to his sexy stable-boy attire was Shannon, who was too busy blushing at the screen of her phone to give him a second glance.
“He does look good,” Lizzie surmised, finally turning her attention back to us. “He’ll do Gomez Addams justice next Saturday night.”
“Oh my God, Liz!” I squealed, unable to stop myself from bouncing in my seat. “You like Patrick.” Clapping my hands in pure unadulterated joy, I twisted around in my seat to get a better look at how good his ass looked in those jeans. “Yes, girl, yes! I approve of the upgrade.”
Lizzie gaped at me. “What are you talking about?”
“And did you notice that he didn’t even smell bad?” I hurried to add, truly gleeful now. “He’s been working on the farm all day, and there’s not a whiff of cow poo off his wellies. Just freshly cut silage and a little petrol.” Grinning, I added, “He’s a keeper, Liz. Pa’s amazing. Much better than Pierce, if you ask me.” I scrunched my nose up in disgust when I added, “And I bet he doesn’t take girls v-cards in the backseat of his car at the GAA grounds, either.”
“You like Feely, Liz?” Shannon asked, with a wide-eyed expression, when she finally decided to put her phone away and give us her attention. “How did I not know this?”
“Ah, maybe because it’s not true,” Lizzie deadpanned. “He looks good, I noticed, and now Claire’s planning the bridal party.”
“So, you don’t like him?” Shannon asked, sounding confused.
“No, I do like him,” she began to say but I cut her off with an enthusiastic “Yay,” before she could continue, “This is the best news ever!”
“As a friend,” Lizzie clarified slowly. She turned to Shannon and repeated the words, “As a friend.”
“Oh.” To give her credit, Shan looked almost as disappointed as I did about it. “Well, he’s a really nice person,” she offered, tone hopeful. “And gentle, and kind … ”
“And perfect for you!” I threw my two cents into the mix and added – again, maybe a little overly enthusiastically.
“Jesus, say it louder, Claire,” Liz growled. “I don’t think the old biddies at the table in the corner heard you.”
“Sorry,” I replied with a sheepish wince. “But all I’m trying to say is that I think you two would be perfect together.”
“Oh my God.” Lizzie turned to Shannon. “Can’t you do something with her?”
“I’m serious,” I continued to plead my case. “You and Patrick make so much sense.” I was almost disappointed in myself for not thinking about the two of them sooner, but now that I had, I couldn’t get the idea out of my mind. “He’s the perfect amount of calm to your storm!”
“Put a muzzle on her or something,” Lizzie said, ignoring me entirely.
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “You two are perfect for each other, but don’t take my word for it.”
“Who’s perfect for each other?” Patrick asked, sliding onto the bench seat next to Shannon. “Or am I safer not knowing?”
“Uh … this is definitely one of those better off not knowing scenarios,” Shan replied, as she scooted over on the bench, and gulped down another mouthful of hot chocolate.
“Hey … Patrick?” Smiling, I leaned across the table, giving him my full attention.
“Hey … Claire,” he humored me by drawling, while he cracked open a can of fizzy orange, and took a sip.
“Are you seeing anyone at the moment?”
“Seeing anyone?”
“Yeah.” I nodded eagerly. “Like a girlfriend or something.”
“Oh God,” Shan choked out before practically diving for her mug.
Patrick stared blankly at me for a long beat before arching a brow. “What are you up to, Baby Biggs?”
“Ignore her,” Lizzie growled, and then forcefully kicked me under the table. “She didn’t take her meds this morning.”
“Actually, I did,” I shot back, and then added, “I take a daily multivitamin,” for clarification.
“Pity it wasn’t Valium,” Lizzie grumbled. “Or a very strong tranquilizer.”
“So do I,” Shannon offered up. “Take multivitamins, that is. Although, I take, like, three different ones. Edel buys a ton of health products for me and the boys.” Smiling sheepishly, she added, “I guess I was lacking in a few vitamins.”
It was beautiful to see, to finally know that my friend was receiving the maternal love she always deserved. Because in all honesty, no one deserved a better life than Shannon Lynch and her brothers.
“Not anymore,” Lizzie replied protectively, giving our friend a reassuring smile. Yeah, it was safe to say that our entire friendship group was more than a little protective of her. “You’re kicking ass now, Shan.”
“Yeah.” Her cheeks flamed with heat. “I am.”
“So, who’s the other drink for?” Lizzie asked then, pointing to the spare can of fizzy orange on the table. “Or are you parched with the thirst?”
Patrick opened his mouth to respond when the café door flew open.
“Gibsie!” Shannon said with a huge smile on her face, while Lizzie bit out the word, “Thor,” like it was poison on her tongue.
“About time,” Patrick said, tapping on his watch. “What happened to ‘I’ll park up and follow you right in’?”
“Don’t blame me, lad, the traffic is fucking mental in this town,” Gerard declared, taking up the whole room with his larger-than-life presence. “I’ve been circling around for a parking spot since I left you.”
He was wearing faded blue jeans and a white t-shirt that was molded to his body, emphasizing those impressive biceps he’d spent most of his teenage years accumulating.
“Pity you didn’t circle off the face of the earth,” Lizzie caught my attention by saying, and I internally groaned. Here we go again.
“Don’t even start with me, viper,” Gerard warned, strolling over to our table. “I’ve had a very pressing day, and I’m in no form for your antics.”
“Asshole, you wouldn’t know the meaning of a pressing day,” she countered. “Although, you could make my day a lot better by disappearing.”
“Is that right?” Gerard replied, eyes wide and tone dripping with sarcasm. “Well, in that case, I better pull up a chair and get comfy.”
Lizzie narrowed her eyes at him. “Drop dead.”
“You first,” Gerard shot back before reaching over to ruffle Shannon’s hair affectionately. “Keep that head up, Little Shannon.” He offered her a reassuring wink. “Everything’s grand.”
“Hi, Gibs,” Shannon replied, clearly embarrassed by Lizzie’s outburst.
It wasn’t a nice place to be when she erupted on him, but it didn’t make me feel embarrassed anymore.
Just tired.
Looking uncertainly between the pair of them, Shannon glanced from Lizzie to Gerard before asking, “Are … you okay?”
“I’m always okay,” he replied warmly, and then he turned his mega-watt smile on me, causing every bone in my body to turn to jelly. “Claire-Bear.”
“Hey, Gerard,” I replied, desperately trying to sound nonchalant, even though every nerve-ending in my body sprang to life when he slid onto the bench next to me.
Most of last night was a blurry haze, but when I woke up in his arms this morning, it felt different.
Deeper.
“You doing okay?” Ignoring the rest of our friends, Gerard leaned his forearm on the table, and angled his body towards mine, giving me his undivided attention. “How’s the head?”
Sometimes it was hard to know where I stood with Gerard, because sometimes, I wasn’t sure which version of Gerard I was getting.
When we were alone at night, the vulnerable boy I’d spent my life adoring made an appearance. When we were with friends, it was the confident, no-fucks-given version of him that became dominant. And that particular version, no matter how infuriating at times, was undeniably sexy. Like seriously hot.
“I feel grand,” I responded, feeling myself melt under the heat of his stare. It couldn’t be helped. It was impossible not to wilt when a boy stared this intensely into your eyes. “Never better.”
“So, we’re okay?” he asked, keeping his big gray eyes locked on mine.
When he reached up and tucked a rogue curl behind my ear I swear, an audible puff of air escaped my lips, which, I had to begrudgingly concede, wasn’t as embarrassing as a moan.
And there had been times I had moaned.
Many times.
“Huh?” I asked, dragging myself from my thoughts, when I realized he was clearly waiting for me to speak. “Why wouldn’t we be okay?”
“You tell me.”
“I have no idea,” I breathed, repressing a shiver.
“Okay then.” A small smile tugged at his lips. “That’s all I needed to know.”
Confused by where the conversation was leading, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I got a job!”
“A job?”
“Yep.” Finding my composure, I cleared my throat and smiled. “Remember that interview I went for back in the summer? The one for part-time lifeguard at the hotel with Hugh? Well, his boss called this morning.” Shrugging, I exhaled another shaky breath and forced a smile. “She hired me.”
“She did?” The smile Gerard was sporting grew to epic proportions. “Fuck yeah, my little mermaid!”
“Yep,” I breathed against his chest when he pulled me in for a massive bear hug. Unable to stop myself, I inhaled deeply, filling my senses with his delectable signature scent. I didn’t care if it was creepy or not. The boy smelled delicious. “I start during midterm break.”
“You’re amazing,” he chuckled, pulling back to look at me. “Do you hear me, Claire-Bear?” Cupping my cheeks with his big hands, he leaned in close and pressed his forehead to mine, while excitement and pride danced in his eyes. “I’m so fucking proud of you.”
“Oh cop on,” Lizzie gagged from across the table. “She got a part-time, Thor, she didn’t make partner in a law firm. A little clarity, please.”
“It is a big deal,” Gerard argued, taking her bait, as he twisted back to face the rest of our friends. “It’s a huge fucking deal, actually.”
“Sure, it is.”
“Just leave it alone,” Patrick instructed calmly, twisting the metal topper on his can back and forth. “If you two can’t be civil to each other, then do us all a favor and ignore each other.”
“What?” Lizzie protested in a defensive tone. “He’s acting like she won the lotto.”
“And that pisses you off because?” Gerard demanded. “What’s your problem, viper? Why can’t you be happy for her?”
“Gerard,” I growled, digging him in the ribs. “Don’t call her that.”
“I am happy for Claire,” Lizzie spat. “But you’re putting on a full-blown act in the hopes of getting in her knickers. It’s bullshit, and I’m on to you, asshole.”
“You’re delusional.”
“And you’re a useless prick.”
“Actually, I have a job, so I’m not completely useless.”
“Yeah.” She snorted. “A pity position at your mammy’s bakery.”
“Where’s your job at, Liz?” Gerard demanded. “Huh? The fuck are you doing with your life?”
“Actually, we’ve been babysitting,” Shannon offered up, clearly trying to diffuse the situation.
“Babysitting?” Gerard arched a brow. “Together?”
“Uh, yeah,” Shannon explained, cheeks turning bright pink. “It’s a little business venture we started working on during the summer.” Smiling, she added, “It’s really starting to take off.”
“Got a problem with that, Thor?” Lizzie was quick to ask, glaring at him.
“With Shannon babysitting?” He shook his head. “Not a one. She’s perfect for the role.”
“So, it’s just me you have an issue with?”
“It’s just you.”
“Guys,” Shannon groaned, placing her hand on Lizzie’s. “Please don’t.”
“Care to elaborate.”
He leaned back in his seat and folded his big arms across his chest. “I wouldn’t leave you in charge of my hedgehog, let alone a child.”
“Because?”
“I’m a good judge of character.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning exactly that.”
“So, you don’t think I’m capable of looking after a child?”
“Nope.”
“If I recall correctly, my sister babysat you an awful lot when we were kids.”
“Thanks for the trip down memory lane.”
“And you liked it when she babysat you.”
“Did I?”
“Oh my God, guys!” I snapped, throwing my hands up in frustration. “Just stop it, will you?”
“You stop it,” Lizzie snapped back, meeting my glare head on with an even angrier one of her own. “Stop letting that asshole walk all over you.”
“He’s not,” I groaned, imploring her with my eyes to hear me.
“Yes, he is!”
“What in the name of Christ are you talking about?” Gerard snapped, running a hand through his hair. “I congratulated our friend on getting her first job. Yeah, our friend. Last time I checked, that wasn’t a method of seduction. But you still somehow manage to fly off the handle!”
“Don’t try to make out like I’m crazy, Thor,” Lizzie spat back. “We all know what you’re doing here. I’m just the only one with the balls to say it.”
“I’m not trying to make you out to be crazy, Lizzie,” Gerard shot back, eyes bulging. “I don’t need to, because the whole fucking world can see it plain as day.”
“Gibs!” Patrick snapped. “That’s too far, lad.”
“No,” Lizzie countered heatedly. “What would be going too far is telling him that Peter Biggs saved the wrong child from the wat—”
“La, la, la!” Shannon sang out in a frantic tone, as she reached over and clamped a hand over Lizzie’s mouth. “Words stick, Liz. Please don’t say it.”
“Let her,” Gerard demanded, while he leaned back in his seat and glared at her. “Come on, viper. Finish what you were going to say. Get it off your chest.”
“Don’t,” the rest of us begged in unison and then simultaneously held our breaths, waiting for all hell to break loose.
“I don’t need to say it,” Lizzie finally replied, eyes locked on Gerard. “From the look on your face, you already know it’s true.”
Shannon groaned, Patrick dropped his head in his hands, meanwhile my jaw damn near hit the floor.
“You did not just say that, Lizzie Young,” I whisper-hissed. “Tell me you did not just say that!” When she made no move to respond, I turned to the boy sitting beside me. “Gerard.” The boy that was climbing to his feet. “No, Gerard, don’t … just wait a minute, will you?”
He didn’t wait.
He didn’t respond, either.
Instead, he stood up quietly and walked out.
He didn’t even slam the café door behind him.
“That was bad,” Shannon groaned, still covering her head with her hands. “That was so bad.”
“Yep,” Patrick agreed calmly. “A total shitshow.”
“You need to apologize,” I snapped, glowering across the table at Lizzie. “You need to go out there and apologize to that boy.”
“When hell freezes over.”
“I mean it, Liz,” I pushed, feeling furious. “Right this second.”
“I’ll tell you what, Claire,” she shot back heatedly, “I’ll apologize to him for his sister dying when he apologizes to me for mine!”
“Oh my God.” I wanted to scream. “Caoimhe has nothing to do with how you just spoke to him just now.”
“Caoimhe has everything to do with everything,” Lizzie choked out, tears filling her eyes. “Everything.”
“You and Gibsie have both lost your sisters,” Shannon tried to reason with her by offering. “You know how bad it hurts, Liz. It cripples you daily. That’s how Gibsie feels, too.”
“Maybe,” she conceded, but her tone was still fully loaded with venom when she spat, “Difference is I had nothing to do with his sister’s death and he had everything to do with mine!”
“How?” Shannon urged. “He was just a little boy when Caoimhe died, Liz. A little kid like the rest of us.”
“Ask his brother.”
“Stepbrother,” Feely interjected calmly.
“Fine,” Lizzie seethed, teeth grinding. “Ask his stepbrother.”
“Mark?”
“And while you’re at it, ask why that monster was involved with my sister in the first place!” Nostrils flaring, she spat, “Ask whose fault was that.”
“Nope. I can’t.” Shaking my head, I threw my hands up in resignation and slid out of my seat. “I honestly can’t do this with you anymore. I know you’re a good person, Liz, or at least, I know there’s a good person in there somewhere, but I’m tired of being on the frontline defending your actions when I don’t agree with them.”
“I never asked you to do that for me.”
“You didn’t have to, because that’s what friends do, but it’s getting old and I’m growing up.”
“Claire, wait,” Shannon called after me. “Don’t go. Let’s just sit down and talk this out.”
“No, you can talk to her. I need to not be near her right now, Shan,” I called over my shoulder, as I made a beeline for the exit. Because if I didn’t get away from our friend, I would explode. “I’ll call you later, okay?”
