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Tattered: Chapter 11

Logan

My phone was going to vibrate a hole in my pocket.

The damn thing had been ringing all day.

This morning, my team at the firm had called five times. There had been an issue with a client accelerating the timeline on a high-profile tech merger, so instead of having a month to tie up all the contracts, we now had eleven days. It was pure chaos and I was in Montana, unable to dive in and help. I trusted my team to get it done, but there were some issues that’d simply needed my guidance and expertise.

Besides the team at the firm, my personal assistant had called twice with information on the lake house I was trying to buy. Then my cousin had called to ask if I’d write her a recommendation letter to Columbia Law. When I’d finally hung up with her, thinking I had everyone handled for ten minutes, Nolan had called to talk about a five-million-dollar donation request for the foundation.

An hour later, one of the founding partners at the firm called me, wanting to know if I could take on a well-known real estate developer as a new client. I’d never said no to William Abergel in my life and hadn’t started today.

Two minutes after I hung up on him, my mother had called. I hadn’t answered. Then my father. Again, I hadn’t answered. Then it had been my sister, Sofia. Three times. I’d pushed those straight to voicemail. When I’d ignored her for the last time, she’d reverted to text messages, telling me between emojis how horrible I was for dumping Alice.

She’d been at it for days.

I just wanted to shut off my phone and spend my Saturday with Charlie, giving her my full attention before I left. But I couldn’t ignore calls for work.

I’d busted my ass this week, getting up before dawn to work so I could spend my afternoons and evenings with Charlie. I’d worked in the morning and had fun in the afternoon.

The two of us had been bonding. We’d hung out at the camp each afternoon, then eaten dinner together.

Thea had rearranged her schedule to have her evenings free all week, but today she had to work. So while she was at the bar, I’d volunteered to stay with Charlie for the afternoon so Hazel could go to the fair in Kalispell.

I was leaving tomorrow and wanted to be with Charlie as much as possible before my early morning flight. We’d spent a good amount of time at her house, playing outside in the fort and then inside doing some art projects. It would have been perfect except that the entire time, my phone had been buzzing, forcing me to step away from playtime.

By the time five o’clock had rolled around, Charlie had nearly finished an entire coloring book, while I’d absently colored in a half a page.

“What should we do for dinner?” I dug my phone out of my pocket to see another text message from my sister. I turned my phone screen down on the table. I’d had enough. “We could go get a Landry special.”

“Okay.” She smiled and nodded. “Can we get floats too?”

“Anything for you, peanut.”

She blushed a bit, looking back to her coloring book. I’d started calling her peanut yesterday. It had been just an accidental slip when we’d been throwing rocks in the lake, but today, I’d been slipping it in on purpose.

I loved the shy smile it always got me.

I glanced at my watch as she cleaned up crayons. “We’ve got about an hour before dinnertime. What do you want to do?”

“Can we go fishing?”

I nodded. “Sure. I—”

My phone vibrated on the table, interrupting us again.

Charlie’s shoulders fell with the buzz.

“Sorry.” I turned it over, this time glad for the picture on the screen. “Look.” I held my phone to Charlie so she could see the picture.

“Who’s that?”

“That is Granny.”

“She looks older than Gran.”

I chuckled. “That’s because she’s my gran. And she’s probably going to spoil you rotten with candy and presents.”

That got me a wide smile.

“You go get the fishing stuff and I’ll be right behind you. Get our stuff ready.”

She nodded and slid off her chair at the kitchen table at the same time I stood, following her through the screen door, taking the call as Charlie darted down the porch steps.

“Hello, Granny.”

“Logan, where are you? Your parents are looking for you.”

I grinned. “I’m ignoring them.”

“I wish I could,” she said, “but they ambushed me during afternoon tea. Why, exactly, are you ignoring them?”

I took a deep breath before proceeding to tell Granny all about coming to Montana, seeing Thea and learning that Charlie was my daughter. I hadn’t planned on telling her over the phone, but as soon as I’d answered, I knew I couldn’t keep it a secret.

Out of everyone in my family, I wanted Granny to be the first to know about Charlie. I wanted to share my excitement with the one person I knew wouldn’t be worried about paternity tests or custody discussions. Granny was the person I’d always trusted to give honest advice.

“I have a great-granddaughter.” I didn’t need to see her to know she had a teary smile. “What’s she like?”

“She’s . . . god, she’s fantastic.” I smiled as Charlie came through the trees, carrying her fishing pole. “She’s unlike any child I’ve ever met. She’s thoughtful. Smart. She’s quiet until you get to know her but then she opens up and you just want to soak up every word she says.”

Granny hummed. “Your grandfather was like that. When are you bringing her home?”

“I don’t know.” I ran a hand through my hair as Charlie walked down the dock. She looked over her shoulder and smiled, holding up the pole, a Styrofoam container of worms tucked underneath her arm. “I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. This week, I’ve just been trying to get to know her and Thea.”

“That’s all well and fine, but she can’t live in Montana while you’re in New York. What’s your plan?”

“I’m buying a house here in Lark Cove. I think we’ve finally reached a price and I should be able to close on it within the next few weeks. Then I’ll travel back and forth. I’m going to put an office in my place here so I won’t fall behind on work. I might even hire an assistant here to—”

Granny laughed before I could finish. “Oh, Logan. Traveling back and forth isn’t going to be enough. You’re going to need to give some things up.”

Give things up? Why?

“It will be okay,” I assured her. “I can fit it all in.” I just needed to juggle things around. There was no reason I couldn’t fit trips to see my daughter into my life.

She laughed at me again. “One of these days, you’ll figure it out. Your father never did, but I have hope for you.”

“Figure what out?”

“The secret to life.”

I chuckled. “I’m a busy man these days, Granny. Why don’t you just tell me?”

“No, it will be more fun for me to watch you struggle for a while. Sally forth, grandson. I have faith you’ll find the right path.”

I grinned as I walked down the porch and headed for the dock to meet Charlie.

Granny had always been a driver, pushing me to keep going until I reached the summit of whatever mountain I’d been climbing. Each time she sent me off to a daunting challenge, it had come with a sally forth.

“Come and visit me when you get home and bring a picture of Charlie.”

“I will. See you soon.” I hung up and shoved my phone back in my jeans, determined not to answer it again until I was back at the motel tonight. The rest of the evening, I was spending with Charlie.

She’d get my undivided attention until bedtime because come tomorrow, I’d be gone.

And I didn’t know when I’d be back.


“Mommy, I caught a fish.” Charlie was kneeling on a stool, leaning across the bar.

“You did? Way to go.” Thea put her palms on Charlie’s cheeks, then kissed her nose. “How big was it?”

Charlie sat back and held out her hands, spreading them apart about a foot. “This big.”

I chuckled from behind her and held up my own hands, showing Thea the fish had only been about five inches.

Thea smiled and played along with Charlie. “Wow. That’s huge!”

“That’s what she said.” Jackson laughed at his own joke as he joined us from down the bar.

“You’re awful,” Thea scolded, trying not to laugh.

He shrugged and high-fived Charlie. “Good job, Chuck. What are you guys doing here?”

“Dinner,” I answered.

“That’s right.” Jackson gave me a smug grin. “A good-bye dinner. You’re leaving tomorrow.”

Asshole.

“Jackson, hush,” Thea hissed, swatting him in the gut before nodding to Charlie.

Her warning was pointless. My daughter didn’t miss much.

Charlie spun on her stool and stared at me with wide eyes. “You’re leaving tomorrow?”

My heart sank at the shock on her face. Thea and I had decided not to tell Charlie the exact day I was leaving. Thea had said it would just make Charlie pull away. She’d be more worried about the calendar than enjoying our time together.

So we’d kept my departure date vague all week.

But tonight, we’d agreed to tell Charlie I had to go. Our plan was to get a pizza, then tell her I was going back to New York in the morning.

Gently.

But then Uncle Jackson had ruined the plan by surprising her.

“Yes,” I told Charlie. “I have to leave tomorrow, but I’ll be back.”

Jackson scoffed, earning another smack from Thea.

I ignored them to focus completely on Charlie and the worry lines on her forehead. “Hey.” I placed my hand on her shoulder. “I’m coming back. But I have to go back to work for a while.”

She nodded and dropped her chin, studying her hands in her lap. An invisible cloud shrouded Charlie, breaking my heart into pieces.

I looked up at Thea, her hand pressed against her chest. Sorry, she mouthed.

“It’s okay.” This had to happen tonight, though I would have preferred to be the one to tell Charlie. “Let’s eat. We can talk more over pizza.”

Thirty minutes later, Thea had all but kicked Jackson out of the deserted bar and was sitting with Charlie and I at a tall table in the middle of the floor.

“Quiet night.”

Thea nodded. “Most everyone in town is up in Kalispell for the fair.”

We both looked to Charlie as she sat in silence, swinging her legs to kick the footrail of her stool.

“What’s running through your head, peanut?”

She shrugged and kicked again.

“Honey,” Thea tucked a loose strand of hair behind Charlie’s ear, “you know you can always talk to us. What’s wrong?”

Charlie’s eyes were flooded with tears when she looked up to her mother. “Logan is going to miss my birthday.”

Fuck. It felt like someone had just taken a hammer to my chest. I’d all but forgotten her birthday was coming. August fifth was only two weeks away, and there was no way I’d be caught up at work enough to take another vacation. But that didn’t matter.

“I’ll be here.”

Charlie’s face spun to me. “You will?”

“I promise.” I stretched across the table and stuck out my pinky.

When Charlie and I had been at camp the other day, she’d made a pinky promise with Hazel to stay out of the lake. I’d watched, surprised at how seriously they had taken the gesture.

If hooking our pinkies together made the tears stop, I’d do it a million times.

Charlie sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. Then her crooked pinky looped around mine.

“I’ll go grab the pizza.” Thea stepped off her stool and went back to the kitchen. She rolled her neck as she walked, trying to shake the weight on her shoulders.

Thea had retreated these last few days, ever since the soccer game. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to give Charlie and me one-on-one time, or if she was just busy. But she’d been distant, making sure she and I never had much alone time. She gave me just enough attention to discuss Charlie before running away.

Charlie and I sat quietly waiting for Thea. It only took her a minute to return with our pizza. Her posture had straightened and she was faking that pleasant smile.

I hated that smile.

I wanted the real one back. The one that reached her eyes and made my heart skip.

“What’s this?” I asked as she set down the hot pan.

Charlie and Thea looked at each other. “This is the Landry-Kendrick special. Charlie and I invented it this morning.”

I grinned at the pizza. Two slices were cheese only, for Charlie. Three were loaded for Thea. And the other three were extra cheese and greasy pepperoni.

My favorite.

I’d told Charlie the other day how much I liked pepperoni pizza. We’d been pretending to make pizzas in the fort at camp—the fort I’d made exponentially better this week by nailing up industrial camouflage tarps I’d special ordered and had shipped overnight. I guess after that, she’d come home and told Thea how I preferred my pizza.

Now I was a part of the family special.

I rode the pizza high all the way through dinner. Thea declared she was going to close down the bar for the night and we all walked back to the cottage together. I waited on the couch while Thea gave Charlie her bath, then my daughter came down and asked if I’d tuck her in for bed.

I shot off the couch, smiling and nodding like a bobble-head doll.

“Can we read three books?” Charlie asked as she climbed into her bed.

“Sure.” I went to her boat-shaped bookshelf. “Which ones?”

“You can pick.”

I grabbed three books from the middle row and brought them back to her bed. I hadn’t spent much time in Charlie’s room before. We’d always stayed downstairs or been outside playing. But it was exactly what I would have expected for my daughter.

A tomboy’s room through and through, except for a small pink table in the corner.

I sat down on her camouflage comforter, leaning against the headboard, barely able to fit by her side on the twin bed. Much like the rest of this house, her room was cramped. Every available surface had special sticks and rocks from Charlie’s outdoor explorations. Her bookshelves were nearly overflowing. And her bedside table was full of framed pictures.

“Is this my picture?” I twisted to the side and picked up the biggest of the frames on her nightstand. It was the drawing Thea had done, the one Hazel had recognized me from.

“Yeah.” Charlie snuggled closer, the smell of her lavender shampoo filling the air. “Mommy did it for me.”

“Your mom is quite the artist.”

In the sketch, I was looking off to the side, not quite in profile, but not straight forward either. I had an easy smile. My hair was longer than it was now, more like how I’d worn it when I’d met her. But Thea had captured my features perfectly.

All from memory.

This drawing proved that the connection between us was real and lasting.

She’d felt it just as strongly as I did.

And damn, I wanted that again. But this time, I wanted more than just a physical relationship. I wanted to see just how deep our feelings went.

My gut was telling me they ran to the core.

“Let’s read this one first.” Charlie thrust a book onto my stomach, so I set the drawing back down to read my daughter her bedtime stories. She was yawning as I closed the last book.

“Good night, Charlie.” I pulled her closer into my side and kissed her forehead.

“You’re coming back?”

I rested my cheek against her hair. “I’ll always come back for you.”

“Okay,” she whispered, but her voice was filled with doubt. “Night, Logan.”

I kissed her again, then pried myself away from her side. She burrowed under her blankets as I shut off her lamp and walked out of her room.

“Hi,” Thea whispered. She was leaning against the wall outside Charlie’s door.

“Hi. What are you doing?”

“Just listening.” She motioned for me to follow as she led the way downstairs and through the house to the porch.

“When’s Hazel coming home from the fair?” I asked.

“I’m sure it will be late. There was a band playing that she wanted to see, so she and a couple of friends are there for the concert.”

I paused when we got outside, expecting Thea to sit in one of the mismatched chairs. But she kept going, down the stairs and over the grass. I stayed close as she crossed the lawn and continued down the old dock that stretched over the lakeshore.

She padded all the way to the end, past the spot Charlie had left her fishing pole from earlier. She slipped off her flip-flops and sat on the dock’s edge, dangling her toes into the water.

I’d been wearing flip-flops all week myself. My wingtips had felt too stuffy for Lark Cove. So I shuffled off my shoes too and sat in the space by Thea’s side.

We sat quietly for a while, both of us just staring out at the lake. It was a calm night, the water gently rolling in glassy mounds.

“I hate leaving her,” I whispered.

“But you have to.”

“I do.” I had overdue responsibilities waiting for me at home. “But I’ll be back.”

Thea stiffened.

The water was cold on my toes, my skin practically white beneath the surface, but not nearly as icy as the shoulder at my side.

What could I say that would convince Thea I’d be back? That I wouldn’t abandon Charlie? Or her?

Nothing.

My words wouldn’t mean anything to Thea. I’d have to prove it. I’d crush Thea’s doubts by coming back and showing her that Charlie was a priority.

“I’ll be back, Thea.” I inched closer, brushing my jeans against hers. “I promise.”

With the hand between us, I held out my pinky. She looked at it for a minute before curling her own around mine. The moment we touched, a shiver rolled down her spine. The heat between us flared, thawing her a bit.

She’d been trying to keep her distance and block me out, but her body betrayed her silence.

Thea said so much without words. She could make the best fuck off face I’d ever seen. When she was behind the bar, she held her shoulders and walked with a surety that made her the most powerful person in the room. But it was her softer movements, the subtle ones that most people missed, that made me want to pull her into my arms and hold her tight.

I loved the way her neck would tilt to the right whenever she talked about Charlie or Hazel. She’d take a long breath whenever I was close because she liked my cologne. I loved the times when I’d catch her studying me and she wouldn’t look away.

Like now, with our pinkies locked. She held my gaze without wavering.

Soon she’d see.

I wasn’t just coming back for Charlie, but for her too.

Thea stirred feelings deeper than I’d ever had for another woman, and we’d only been together for a week. I’d prove to them both that I was a new constant. They’d see that I was the missing piece to their family.

Then maybe one day soon, we could actually be a family. I could sweep them both away from here and build them the life of their dreams.


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