I’m a dad.
A father.
I couldn’t get the concept to sink in.
Did other fathers feel this whiplashed? Or dumbfounded?
Maybe other men got used to the concept of fatherhood during pregnancy. They had time to adjust to the fact a kid was coming. But I hadn’t gotten nine months. I’d gotten ninety seconds for all the puzzle pieces to fit together.
I had a child.
Charlie.
I had a daughter who was five, almost six, and had my crooked pinky.
Shit. I should have taken that shot Thea had poured me. Maybe I wouldn’t have run out of the bar like a coward.
Though in my defense, I’d been in dire need of some air. The cluttered walls of the bar had closed in on me and I hadn’t been able to breathe.
So I’d stormed out, leaving Thea and a million unanswered questions behind. Then I’d wandered aimlessly around Lark Cove, trying to understand how I’d come to Montana this morning for business and had my entire personal life turned upside down by evening.
I didn’t know how long I’d been walking or where. I’d found myself on a small, two-lane gravel road that ran along the lake. Rather than stop and get my bearings, I’d just kept walking. I’d followed the road until it curved around a point, and finally stopped walking to sit on a large rock overlooking the water.
I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting here either.
When my stomach grumbled, I blinked and focused my vision to check my watch. Four hours. It had been four hours since I’d walked out of the Lark Cove Bar. Four hours since I’d become a father.
I ran a hand through my hair and got off the rock, brushing off the seat of my jeans. The sun was beginning to set and it cast an orange glow across the lake.
“What the hell am I going to do?” The water didn’t answer.
I hated being out of control. I was always in control. I was the man in charge. There was surety in my every move.
Today had knocked that confidence down a peg or twenty. I’d never felt so helpless in my life.
I had no idea what to do with a daughter. I didn’t know how to braid hair, buy dresses or go to tea parties. Would she even want me around? What if Charlie didn’t like me?
The trees at my back were growing closer and the clouds above were closing in. I bent and gripped my knees, forcing air into my lungs before I fell over.
Fuck. I was going to pass out. I had no idea what I was doing.
But I had to figure it out. I wasn’t the type of man to shirk responsibility, and the fact was, that little girl was mine. I’d been part of creating her.
I had to pull my shit together.
When my feet were steady again, I took another slow breath and stood tall. Then I turned away from the lake and headed back down the gravel road. I still had no idea what I was going to do, but hiding out here wasn’t going to help. I needed to get back to Lark Cove and to Thea so we could make a plan.
And so she could explain how this had happened.
Thea and I had been safe. Hadn’t we? I’d used a condom the night we were together. A lot of condoms. So how had our one-night stand turned me into a dad?
Thea had charmed me instantly that night. I came into that hotel bar having escaped a fundraiser in the ballroom. My mother had been relentlessly trying to set me up with a friend’s daughter. I’d gotten so fed up with the matchmaking that I’d ducked out for a breather and wandered into the hotel’s bar.
There, I found Thea.
I skipped the rest of the fundraiser so I could sit and talk with her. Those hours of talking and laughing about nothing were so refreshing. Thea didn’t care that my last name was Kendrick. Hell, she didn’t even ask. She didn’t care about my money or my family’s status.
And because she didn’t care, I didn’t offer it up. Intentionally. We were just Logan and Thea, two strangers with chemistry off the charts.
I stayed until the end of her shift. I stacked chairs on tables while she cleaned and closed the till. And then I walked her out.
Three feet out the door, I kissed her. And that kiss lasted until dawn. The attraction that had been building between us for hours combusted like a lit match.
I whisked Thea upstairs to my hotel room, the one registered under my assistant’s name, where I worshiped her body until the next morning. Where one of the condoms hadn’t worked.
“Goddamn it,” I muttered as my strides got longer.
I’d been so desperate for some anonymity that I hadn’t mentioned my last name. What a fucking mistake. Just like it had been a mistake not to go back to that bar sooner.
Thea and I had agreed on just one night. One incredible night. The next morning, we’d walked away from each other with no strings attached. She’d gone back to her life. I’d gone back to my hectic work and social schedule, just glad that I’d had the chance to meet her.
What I hadn’t expected was for Thea to pop into my thoughts so often after that night. I’d think of her smile whenever I was at a hotel bar. I’d think of her laugh when I was at a boring fundraiser. I’d think of her whenever I saw a woman with long, sleek dark hair.
After months of her on my mind, I’d finally given in. I’d gone back to the bar to see her one more time.
Except she’d been gone.
With my child.
I’d waited too long.
Mistakes weren’t something I made often, especially monumental ones. The knot in my gut told me that waiting to see Thea had been the biggest mistake of my life. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it now. There was no going backward.
All I could do was figure out where to go from here, and for that, I needed to talk to her.
I slowed my pace and looked around, hoping to find some sort of landmark to help me figure out where I was.
The homes here were larger along this road, much larger than anything I’d seen on Willa’s tour through Lark Cove. All of these houses had a beach-cottage vibe, with cedar shakes and white trim. Except they were anything but cottages.
The one I was standing in front of looked almost as large as my parents’ place in the Hamptons. The front was covered with large windows overlooking the lake. The front lawn was green and cut short, like the fairways at my family’s country club golf course.
The gravel road separated the main house from the boathouse built right on the water. Next to it was a private dock and graveled beach area. I’d blindly walked to the one neighborhood in Lark Cove that screamed money.
There wasn’t much to the town of Lark Cove. A diner and Thea’s bar. A tiny grocery store next to a four-pump gas station. Two churches and a ten-room motel. There was one school for kids of all ages, from kindergarten through high school.
And a whole lot of lake.
During her tour, Willa had told us all about this area of northwest Montana. Small towns like Lark Cove were spotted all around Flathead Lake. They all had the same necessities, like a convenience store/market with the essentials. But major stores and anything of real size were found in Kalispell on the north end of the lake.
Lark Cove was basically a cluster of homes along the highway. Local people lived here to escape the city limits. “Out-of-staters” built here for two-weeks-a-year vacation homes. This road had lakefront properties most of my colleagues in New York would salivate over.
Especially this one. I’d buy this place in a heartbeat if it weren’t in Montana.
Except I wasn’t allowed to hate Montana anymore.
Like it or not, I’d have a tie here for the rest of my life.
To my daughter.
Maybe Thea would be willing to move back to New York. If she’d be open to a cross-country move, it would make life a hell of a lot easier.
My phone vibrated in my pocket, interrupting my thoughts. I dug it out of my jeans, assuming it was Nolan, but frowned when I saw the name Alice Leys.
“I can’t deal with this right now,” I muttered, declining her call.
Alice had been one of Emmeline’s friends from college. She also happened to organize charitable fundraisers around the city, so we crossed paths occasionally. For years, I hadn’t paid Alice much attention, not only because I’d been dating Emmeline, but because whenever Alice looked at me, there were dollar signs and sexual positions in her eyes.
But about six months ago, after Emmeline and I had broken up, I’d been in need of a release. Alice had been more than willing to take my cock.
We’d met for drinks and to fuck a few times, but I’d ended it months ago. Her affinity for childish drama had grated on my nerves, as well as the unrelenting pressure to commit to a relationship. But she still hadn’t gotten the message, no matter how often I’d spelled it out.
A voicemail popped up on the screen, but I deleted it without listening. Then I hit Nolan’s name.
“I was starting to get worried that you left me here,” he answered.
“I’ll admit, it crossed my mind.” If I’d had the car keys, I probably would have made it halfway to the airport before turning around.
“Where are you?” Nolan asked.
I spun around, searching for a street sign, but all I could see were homes and trees. “I’m not really sure. I’m standing on some dinky road by the lake.”
“That narrows it down,” he muttered. “Do you want me to come and get you?”
“No.” I sighed. “I’ll pull up my GPS and find my way back to the highway. It can’t be too far. Where are you?”
“Back at the motel. I wasn’t sure what to do when you ran out of the bar, so I came back here to wait.”
I was in no hurry to get to the Lark Cove Motel. We’d driven by on our tour, and while it looked nice enough, I didn’t need to step inside a room to know that it held only the bare essentials. Bed. Bathroom. TV. I doubted there was a minibar or room service. I could use some dinner followed by a plethora of alcohol.
“I apologize for bailing on you earlier,” I told Nolan.
“It’s not me who needs the apology. I mean, it wasn’t me who tried to tell you that you had a secret daughter, only to have you disappear before I could explain.”
Shit. I closed my eyes and blew out a breath. “How bad is it?”
Nolan chuckled. “Lucky for you, she seemed just as shocked as you were. I’d say you’ll be able to recover. Just use that Kendrick charm.”
“What a fucking mess.”
“You had no idea?” he asked.
“None. I haven’t seen Thea in six years. It was just a one-night thing.”
“Damn. That’s tough. What’s your plan?”
“I don’t know.” I started walking again. “I need to find Thea.”
Except I’d been in such a rush to leave the bar, I hadn’t gotten anything from her. Not a phone number. A last name. Anything.
For all I knew, she was at home with her husband. Maybe she had other kids. Maybe Charlie wouldn’t want a thing to do with me because she already had a dad and a family.
My stomach twisted at the thought of losing something I’d just found.
I might have only become a dad four hours ago, but that didn’t mean I was going to walk away. Charlie was my daughter and I wanted to get to know her.
I just hoped she wanted to get to know me too.
“I don’t know what to do, Nolan,” I confessed. “What if she hates me? What if she says she doesn’t want anything to do with me? What if she’s already got a dad?”
“Don’t start on the what-ifs just yet.” His gentle voice helped calm some nerves. “Start by talking this out with Thea.”
“I don’t suppose she—”
“Gave me her phone number? Yeah. I’ve got it and her address.”
“Thanks.” I was glad my levelheaded friend and coworker had been there when I hadn’t. “I owe you one.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“What else happened?”
“Not much. We were all pretty stunned, to say the least. Thea came over and introduced herself. I told her your last name and gave her your number. She said she’d give you some time before calling. But if I could give you some advice, don’t make her wait. She’s just as anxious as you to talk this through.”
I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “I’ll call her soon. Just text me her info.”
“Okay. What else do you need me to do? I’ve already called the hospital in Kalispell and they told me they could arrange for a paternity test to be taken tomorrow. The results will take a week or so, but you could leave your sample before we head back to the city.”
During the first part of my walk around Lark Cove, I’d contemplated getting a paternity test. If not for Charlie’s pinky and the fact that she looked just like a Kendrick, I probably would have insisted on one.
But I’d decided against it. Thea wasn’t lying. I’d made a career out of reading people and spotting lies. An Oscar-winning actress couldn’t have pulled off Thea’s reaction.
“Thanks, but I don’t think the paternity test is necessary.”
“Logan, I don’t think that’s a good—”
“You saw her. You saw Charlie. You had to see the resemblance.”
“Yeah, I saw it the moment she took that frog from your hands. She’s the tomboy version of your sister. But your family is going to insist on proof. You might as well get it over with soon.”
I ran a hand through my hair again. Nolan was right. My family and our lawyers believed in test results to prove paternity. They’d insist on a test and to know everything about Thea’s life. It was the only way to ensure she wasn’t a threat to the family.
The idea of fielding their questions and demands was already more than I could deal with right now. Until I had some answers, they couldn’t know about Charlie.
“I need to ask a favor.” I took a deep breath, hating that I was putting Nolan in this position. He worked for the entire Kendrick family, not just me. “Would you mind keeping this all a secret for now?”
“If that’s what you want, then my lips are sealed.”
My shoulders relaxed. “Thanks. I’ll tell them soon, but I need to work some things out here first.”
“Here? You’re going to stay?”
“I don’t think I can go yet. Not until Thea and I work some things out. That’s all going to be easier if I’m here.”
“And if someone asks why you’re still in Montana? What do I tell them?”
My mind jumped right into planning mode and plotting logistics. “That I’m here for a vacation.”
I could spend a week here, working from my phone and laptop. Today was Monday, so I’d only have four days of meetings to reschedule. Unplanned absences weren’t ideal, but I could coordinate my paralegal and associate team remotely.
From my career’s standpoint, finding out I had a child in Montana couldn’t have come at a worse time. I was busy as hell at work right now. We’d just onboarded two new clients to my team, both of whom were in the middle of complex mergers.
My firm specialized in corporate law, mostly for prominent businesses in New York. We had a large partnership, with the senior partners focused mostly on the financial well-being of the entire firm and human resources. My role as a partner was simple: marketing. I brought in the clients.
It wasn’t hard. With the last name Kendrick, I could get into meetings most other attorneys couldn’t. Add to that my unparalleled reputation for negotiating contracts and closing loopholes, and I’d brought more clients to the firm in the past year than other partners had in the last five.
But I couldn’t be at work this week. For the first time, my team would have to pick up my slack.
“A week,” I told him. “I need a week and I’ll have this all sorted.”
Nolan chuckled. “You’re going to need more than that.”
I didn’t have longer than that. I had to get back to work.
Ahead of me, I saw the intersection to the highway. I must have walked in a zigzag while I’d wandered, because I could see the sign for the gas station. Which meant I was just blocks from the bar.
“I found my way back to the highway. Just text me Thea’s info, and I’ll catch up with you in the morning.”
“Okay. Good luck.”
Luck. I never relied on luck. I put my mind to something and made it happen.
The next week would be no different.
I’d spend the week getting to know my daughter. Thea and I would figure out a custody arrangement.
I’d spend this week in Montana and then things would go back to normal.
