On Christmas Day, we always gathered at our parents’ house for dinner—and this year we had something extra special to celebrate.
“To Winnie and Dex,” said my dad, holding up his beer. “Congratulations!”
Next to him, Frannie slapped his shoulder. “That’s it?”
“What else do you want me to say?”
“How about welcoming Dex to the family? Never mind, I’ll do it.” Frannie turned to the table and raised her glass of wine. “Dex, we’re so happy to have not only you join our gang, but your darling girls too. Hallie and Luna, welcome to our family!”
“Cheers!” said Winnie, holding up her glass with her left hand, her diamond ring catching the light from the chandelier.
“And thank you,” said Dex, lifting his beer.
Hallie and Luna beamed, holding up the Christmas mocktails Felicity had made for them and the twins, and I raised my wine. Around the table, my entire family toasted the engagement, and I took a moment to be fully happy for my sister, for Dex, and for his girls.
But the moment I set my glass down, the sadness that had been weighing on me throughout the day returned. I did my best to cover it up, but constantly felt like I was on the verge of tears. After dessert and coffee, I helped do the dishes, faked a huge yawn, and said I’d better get to bed since I planned to work the next day. Millie Rose was opening in exactly one week, and I wanted everything to be perfect. I hugged everyone goodbye, congratulated Winnie and Dex once more, wished everyone Merry Christmas, and headed for the front hall closet.
As I was buttoning up my coat, Felicity found me. “Hey,” she said, sticking her hands in her cardigan pockets. “You okay?”
“No.” I wound my scarf around my neck. “But I was hoping it wasn’t obvious.”
“It wasn’t,” she assured me. “I just know what’s going on. But you left Cloverleigh so fast last night, I didn’t get a chance to ask what happened. Did you talk to him?”
I nodded as I pulled on my hat. “Yes. And he gave me a diamond necklace.”
Felicity stretched her neck forward like a goose. “He did?”
“Yes.” Angrily, I yanked on my gloves. “It’s gorgeous.”
“But—but why?”
“I have no idea, Felicity!” I threw up my hands. “And when I asked him, he said, ‘You know why.’ Whatever that means.”
Felicity’s mouth opened, then she tucked in her lips and pressed them together. “I think it means . . . he loves you?”
“No, he doesn’t,” I said crossly. “If he loved me, he wouldn’t have let me go so easily.”
“But you said it was a mutual decision. It’s not like he abandoned you.”
“I know what I said, but it doesn’t feel that way, okay?” My eyes filled. “This is why. This is why I don’t date men who don’t need me. It’s too easy for them to walk away.”
My sister made a face. “I don’t know, Mills. It doesn’t seem like this was all that easy for him. He bought you a diamond necklace. Can’t you guys maybe . . . try again?”
“What’s the point?” I asked, drowning in the hopelessness of it all.
“Love?” she offered.
“But if he doesn’t love me enough to consider getting married or having kids, it doesn’t matter. I want a family.”
Felicity sighed. “Are you sure it’s out of the question? Did you actually have this conversation?”
“Not exactly,” I admitted, playing with a button on my coat. “I couldn’t bring myself to come out and ask him if he’d ever have the vasectomy reversed. It seemed like too much when we’ve only been seeing each other for a couple months.”
“So does a diamond necklace,” Felicity pointed out. “Compared to asking a question, that’s a lot.”
“I just can’t,” I insisted. “What if the answer is no? I’ll feel terrible and rejected. At least this way, it feels like a decision we made together.”
“Okay,” she said, giving me a hug. “It’s your life. I just hate seeing you so sad at such a happy time of year. And I know all the Winnie and Dex stuff must be hard.”
I hugged her back, grateful for the affection. “I’ll be okay. Eventually.”
