On the afternoon of December thirty-first, I knocked on Mason and Lori’s door.
It was Lori who pulled it open. “Zach,” she said, obviously surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“Hi, Lori. Can I come in?”
She glanced behind her. “Ah. I don’t know.”
“Please. I know I hurt Mason’s feelings, and yours too, by leaving so suddenly on Christmas Eve. I’m really sorry, and I’d like to make it up to you.”
“That’s not—I mean, you don’t have to—” She sighed and closed her eyes for a second. “You should really talk to Mason.”
“Is he here?”
“Yes,” she said, backing up and opening the door wider. “Come in.”
I entered their house, and she took my coat, hanging it in the closet by the foot of the stairs. “Have a seat in the living room,” she said, still looking a little uneasy. “I’ll tell Mason you’re here.”
As she headed up the stairs, I took a seat on the living room sofa and rubbed my sweaty palms over my knees. I had no doubt that I was doing the right thing, but I was nervous about how this was going to go—I was here without Millie’s permission, and this involved her. But I didn’t want to go to her without having done the honorable thing where my son was concerned. And even if Mason was upset, he wasn’t vindictive. He wasn’t the kind of person to spread ugly gossip.
Still, a lot was riding on this conversation. I had to do it just right.
The minutes ticked by, and Mason still didn’t come down. I was beginning to wonder if something was wrong when I heard some heated voices from upstairs. Had I come at a bad time? Were they having a fight? I was thinking I’d come back later when Mason finally appeared on the stairs, visible from where I sat.
He descended slowly, his arms folded across his chest, and I could instantly tell something was way off. His jaw was set, and his eyes were devoid of their usual warmth. “Zach,” he said.
I rose. “Mason. How are you?”
He shrugged. The air hummed with tension.
“Will you sit?”
He hesitated, but then lowered himself to the opposite end of the couch and sat back, his arms still crossed. I perched on the edge of the cushion.
“I’m sure you’re surprised to see me,” I said, “and I apologize for showing up without any notice. I’m also sorry about Christmas.”
Another shrug. “It’s fine.”
“I’m here because I need to tell you something.” I leaned forward, my body angled slightly toward his. I kept my focus on my hands, tapping my fingertips together between my knees. “This isn’t easy for me to say, but—”
“I know about Millie, Zach.”
I looked up at him sharply. “What?”
“I know about Millie. I saw you.”
“When?”
“Christmas Eve. In the bar.”
It sank in fast. The shadow at the door. “Oh.”
“I mean, I’d suspected something before—at the rehearsal, actually. And if you remember, I asked you about it then.”
“You did. And I wasn’t truthful with you.”
“Obviously,” he said tersely. “What I don’t get is why.”
“I was ashamed,” I said. “And so was she. We’d—we’d spent the night together in New York without realizing the connection. And when we figured it out, we just sort of panicked.”
“I told you that night how important honesty was to me,” Mason said, sounding less angry now and more hurt.
“And I didn’t take that lightly.” I sat up taller. “Mason, believe me. That night, nothing was more important to me than earning your trust and respect. Since the moment we got those test results back, all I’ve wanted was to do right by you.”
“Why should I believe you? You clearly kept lying to me for months. You’re just like my mother.”
“Mason,” Lori said quietly.
I hadn’t even realized she was there, but now I saw her leaning against the entrance to the living room, arms wrapped around her middle.
Mason frowned. “Lori thinks I’m trying to get back at my mother by being mad at you.”
“I just don’t want this—this—misunderstanding to cost you an important relationship in your life,” Lori said, wiping her eyes.
“It’s not just a misunderstanding,” Mason insisted with a headstrong expression and set of his jaw that I knew all too well. “My entire life, people who claim to care about me have deliberately withheld important information from me. It makes me feel like a fucking idiot.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. I should not have kept my feelings about Millie a secret. We thought we were protecting you, and that was wrong of us.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle it? Because I can. I’m a grown man, Zach.”
He looked like such a stubborn teenage version of me when he said it, it was almost funny. It was like looking in a mirror thirty years ago.
“I didn’t reach out to you because I needed a daddy,” he said. “I just wanted to know my family.”
“I understand,” I said. “And I should have treated you like a man and not like a child that needed protecting. To be honest, I’m still grappling with how to be a father to an adult son. I have protective instincts as it is, and somehow finding out I’m a dad has multiplied them.”
“I get that.” Mason’s arms loosened a little. “I just don’t want to be in the dark anymore. I want to feel like I’m part of a family—like I came from somewhere. The things you gave me at Christmas, the stories you shared, all that meant so much to me. I’ve never had those things.”
“You will,” I promised. “Going through all those old things brought back a lot of memories, and I want to share them with you. That’s new for me—I’ve never really had anyone ask or care about my family history. I’ve never thought about passing things on to another generation. But now I am.” Then I took a breath. “This thing with Millie . . . I need to know how you feel about it.”
Mason was silent for a moment, taking it all in. Then rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s hard to say. My feelings about it are all tangled up in my anger about you guys hiding it from me.”
“I understand.”
“So you and Millie are . . . together?” asked Lori, coming deeper into the room and perching on the arm of the couch next to Mason.
“Not exactly. We have feelings for each other, and we’ve seen each other a few times outside of town, but a few weeks ago we called everything off.”
“Looked different to me on Christmas Eve,” Mason said stiffly.
“Yeah.” I felt heat in my neck. “Staying away from each other is harder than we thought.”
“So it’s serious between you?” Lori asked.
“It was. I hope it will be again.”
“Why did you call it off?” she asked. “Because of Mason?”
“Mason was the biggest reason at the start,” I said, “but there were a few other reasons too, although those have grown less important over time. To me, what matters right now is making sure, Mason, that you know I never meant to hurt or embarrass you. I know I was wrong to lie, and I want to be the kind of man you hoped your father would be.”
Mason didn’t say anything for a moment. “I guess that can happen. I just never thought my dad would date my ex-girlfriend.”
“Mason,” Lori chided, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You and Millie have been just friends for well over a year now. And you told me yourself you two were much better as friends.”
“We are,” he said. “It’s just weird.”
“It’s definitely weird,” I agreed, “and we understand that people might judge us.”
“I mean, if you two have kids,” Mason went on, “your baby would be younger than its niece.”
I grimaced. “Yeah. I know. The math hurts.”
“But you don’t have to listen to what other people say.” Lori’s voice was firm. “And we’ll support you. You’re our family and Millie is our friend. Right, Mason?”
“Right.” He looked up at his wife, then put an arm around her waist. “Right.”
“So it’s okay with you?” I asked. “Millie and me?”
“I guess so. Like Lori said, Millie is our friend. I want her to be happy.” Mason shrugged. “If you make her happy, then you should be with her.”
“I’m going to try,” I said, an odd catch in my chest. “You know, Mason, I’ve learned a lot from you.”
“You have?” He sounded surprised.
“Yes. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to reach out to me after you found that letter. You had no idea how I’d react. You risked rejection or my being a total jerk about it.”
“I was nervous,” he admitted. “But I decided it was worth the risk.”
“That took a lot of courage.”
Mason shrugged, his mouth tipping into a crooked smile. “I get it from my dad.”
I left Mason and Lori’s house and drove over to Millie’s. It was starting to get dark—going on five o’clock—and I had no idea if she’d be there or out for New Year’s Eve already. When she didn’t answer my knock, I experienced a moment of panic. What if she was out on a date? Or in the shower getting ready for a party? What if she was putting on one of those dresses that fit her curvy body like a second skin? What if some other guy thought he deserved to put his eyes or his hands or his lips on her tonight?
My blood started to boil. My breath came faster as I knocked again, harder this time. I rang the bell. I shifted my weight from side to side, sweating even though it was icy cold and starting to snow.
Finally, I gave up and went back to my rental SUV. Sitting behind the wheel, I wondered if I should call or text her. It would ruin the surprise, but what choice did I have? I didn’t want to wait another day. But would she even tell me where she was if she was with someone else?
A thought occurred to me—maybe she was at the shop. It was opening in just a couple days, right? It was New Year’s Eve, but Millie was the kind of person who’d work through a holiday if there were still things to get done. I drove downtown, hoping I was right.
When I passed Millie Rose, I saw lights on inside, and my pulse quickened with anticipation. I found a parking spot a couple blocks down and ran back to the shop, shouldering between couples and groups of friends on the sidewalk. Once or twice, I slipped on the freshly fallen snow, but I kept my balance and hurried on.
In front of her shop’s double doors, I stopped and caught my breath. Ran a hand over my hair. I couldn’t see her inside, but she had to be there. I tried the door on the right—locked. The door on the left was locked as well. I knocked on the glass and waited. Nothing.
Frustrated, I framed my eyes with my hands and leaned on the glass, trying to see better. That’s when I spied her at the back of the store pushing a vacuum. Adrenaline shot through my veins, and I banged my fist on the glass hard enough to shatter it.
Startled, she finally looked up.
