I’m pretty predictable when it comes to sleep. Every night around 3:00 a.m. I’ll wake up, lying on my stomach, hugging my pillow. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember, even when I’m alone in my room, even in dead silence.
Last night was the exception. Tonight, it seems I’m back on schedule. I lie in bed, listening for the shallow breathing of five other women, hoping that’ll lull me back to sleep.
At first, I’m not entirely sure what I’m hearing. I know it’s coming from Katie and Rachel’s bunk, which runs perpendicular to ours. It’s set slightly behind ours, and so close that if both Katie and I stretched arms out, we could touch fingertips.
The curtains on the windows dim the cabin well, but they don’t completely block the lights shining in from outside. The privacy curtain helps with that. Only, Autumn and my curtain isn’t long enough, and there’s a gap near my head.
Tonight, Katie and Rachel haven’t pulled their curtain all the way around, and the light glows over the end of the bottom bunk.
It takes a few blinks for my eyes to adjust to being awake, and to process what I see.
A naked woman is bent over Katie’s pillow.
I fight the gasp as my mouth drops and my eyes pop wide.
Another voice whispers through a pant, “Oh my God, I’ve missed this. Don’t stop…” and I immediately recognize Rachel, earning my second wave of shock. I knew the two of them were from the same hometown and came here as friends, but I hadn’t expected this! Wasn’t Rachel ogling Mr. Wolf only hours ago?
“Like this?” Katie purrs. “Yes,” Rachel moans.
Katie shushes her with a giggle, followed by a soft moan of her own. “I’m going to come fast if you keep doing that.”
I know I should close my eyes and give them their privacy and yet I don’t move, because part of me is curious. So I lie dead still and watch them pleasure each other, wondering what it would feel like to have someone’s tongue on me like that.
Is anyone else awake? They wouldn’t be able to see this, not like I can. Well, maybe Autumn, but I hear her soft snore above us.
“Not yet, you greedy—” Katie’s words drift as she begins panting and wriggling. The curtain shifts, something poking the inside of it. Her knee, I’m guessing. She’s spreading her legs wide.
I should feel guilty or dirty about spying on them, but I don’t. In fact, I can’t help the heaviness in my pelvis, the moisture pooling inside my panties, the urge to spread my own legs.
I’m aroused.
Oh my God. Does this mean I’m a lesbian?
A phone suddenly appears. Katie pushes a few buttons and the screen lights up, and anything hidden from my view is now lit for me, right down to the goose bumps on Rachel’s slick flesh.
She’s selfie-videotaping this.
Oh my God.
Katie pauses to pant a few times. “Deeper,” she whispers, and my thighs squeeze in response to whatever Rachel may be doing on the other end.
And then Katie wraps her free hand around Rachel’s thigh and presses her face into Rachel’s mound to muffle her cries of ecstasy. At the same time, I hear Rachel’s stifled cry and then her body begins to quiver.
A few moments of silence pass before Katie’s head settles back on her pillow and Rachel’s lithe body begins to climb backward, over the end of the bed, off Katie.
I close my eyes, afraid of getting caught and painted the peeping Tom.
“I needed that,” Rachel whispers, followed by a soft, “Good night.” I sense movement right beside my head and then the ladder creaks.
Soon, all is quiet again.
Except now I’m wide awake and mildly traumatized by the private sexual act I watched. Of all people to witness it… Would they be angry with me if they knew I had watched? Embarrassed? I’m guessing not, if they’d risk doing it in the first place. That eases my guilt a bit.
I’m afraid to move yet, so I stay still, replaying what I saw in my head. I guess it’s the same thing that a guy would do to a woman. I can’t imagine having a man’s face down there like that.
A man like Henry Wolf, with that strong, square jaw grazing against the soft skin of my inner thigh. Try as I might, I haven’t been able to get him out of my head all day. Would he even do something like that? Or would he find it unappealing? Would I ever be confident enough to allow it? Jed said the idea of putting his mouth on any holes involved in defecating didn’t appeal to him. I’m betting that has changed.
It’s now 4:00 a.m. Soft, shallow breaths surround me, and I have a terrible throb between my legs that isn’t going away. As quietly as I can, I roll onto my back and slide my fingertips beneath the drawstring of my pants, hesitant to do this in a room with five other women, even if they’re all asleep. Sure, the curtain and my blankets hide it, but still…
I gingerly draw my index finger through my slit. It comes out slick. I bite my lip. And do it again. And again. And then I begin to flick my clit like I watched Katie do with her tongue, and it makes me wetter.
I haven’t done this in months, since before I caught Jed cheating on me. I haven’t had the urge, too heartbroken.
The more aroused I get, the braver I become, until I’m no longer so worried about getting caught. In fact, the idea of Katie or Rachel watching me do this spurs me on because I think they’d like it. I push my pajama pants down and spread my legs farther. I’m still under my blanket as I do this, and I’m being quiet. No one will know.
Should I even care? Autumn brought a dildo with her, and I just watched my two roommates eat each other out and stick a plug up their ass only three feet away!
I close my eyes and slowly, gently, back and forth, rub the sensitive nub of flesh, reveling in how soft it is. How good this feels. Like my body has been begging me to do it for years.
I struggle to keep quiet as my heart rate begins to race. I close my eyes and imagine it’s not my hand doing this. It’s Henry Wolf’s hand. His big, strong, manicured hands would probably know how to do it well.
Or his tongue.
The slow build that’s been growing in my pelvis now rushes, pushing my legs farther apart, until my covers have fallen away and the cool air touches my bare skin, and I don’t even care that I’m exposed within my little cubbyhole.
I close my eyes and imagine myself like Rachel was, bent over Mr. Wolf’s face while his tongue and his fingers plunge into me. A rush hits me and I have to press my lips together to keep from crying out as my muscles pulse beneath my fingertips.
Not until it’s over do I fully comprehend what just happened.
I brought myself to orgasm thinking of my boss.
