I stare at the small gray dot on the ultrasound monitor, my lips parting.
Adrian was right. I am pregnant. Five weeks.
First, the OB-GYN confirmed it through a blood test, and she’s now showing us the baby.
I’ve been shocked, numb, like the day I got out of surgery to learn I could no longer be a ballerina.
But the moment I see that life? Something inside me shifts.
At first, I wanted to demand an abortion because of ballet. But I don’t have ballet anymore, and whether I have children or not will have no effect on my ended career.
But now, as I watch the tiny figure on the screen, strong feelings like I haven’t had since the day my career ended invade me all at once.
That baby is mine. Something I conceived.
A tenacious life which survived all the stress I’ve been through up until now.
I stare up at Adrian, who’s standing next to my hospital bed, also observing what will soon grow into a fetus, in his utter calm. He’s been like a rock during this entire night—carrying me, taking care of procedures, and being the anchor anyone would hope for.
However, he hasn’t shown a single reaction since the doctor confirmed his suspicion. Although it wasn’t really a suspicion since he announced it before the doctor did.
My eyes widen. Did he…do this on purpose?
The thought thunders through the rest of me like wildfire. When I told the doctor that I’m on birth control pills, she mentioned that the pill isn’t one hundred percent effective, especially if I didn’t take it at the same time every day.
But pregnancy would’ve been so much more probable if he actually switched my pills out.
The feelings I was basking in only a few seconds ago slowly evaporate as I focus on the man standing beside me. And not just any man, a killer and a mobster. I can’t let someone like him father my children. How the hell did I allow myself to be even the slightest bit happy about the idea?
The doctor offers me the sonogram picture, but I don’t take it, afraid to look at that life one more time. Adrian thanks her, pulling it from her hand. I go through the motions as I cover myself and grab my crutch to stand up.
Adrian tries to help me, but I squirm free. He gives me a look and grabs me by the elbow, forbidding me from getting away from him until he helps me into a chair in front of the doctor’s desk.
Instead of taking his own seat, he remains standing by my side. “Is her injury going to cause a problem with the pregnancy?”
The doctor, a middle-aged lady with soft features and her white hair done in a pixie cut, says in a melodious voice, “Not at all. Thankfully, the injury didn’t happen during one of her late trimesters. When do you get the cast off, Ms. Morelli?”
“In three weeks,” I murmur.
“It should be fine, but until then, please pay extra attention to your stress levels. The first pregnancies are usually the most fragile.”
Adrian gives a curt nod, schedules an upcoming appointment, and leads me out of the office.
I pull away from him as soon as we’re down the hall, hobbling as fast as my crutch allows me to do so.
He catches up to me, grabs me by the waist, and glues me to his side. Then he speaks in a low, threatening tone, “That’s the second and final time you flinch away from me. And walk slowly so you don’t put too much pressure on your leg.”
“Stop it,” I hiss, twisting against him.
“Stop what?”
“Stop acting like the most caring person alive when you planned this all along.”
“This?”
I halt near a fire escape staircase and point a finger at the envelope in his hand. “You switched my pills to make that happen.”
His expression remains the same, as if I didn’t say anything. “You were pregnant before I had to do that.”
My lips part. “You…you planned it?”
“Yes.”
“You really switched my pills?”
“I said I didn’t have to. As the doctor said, birth control pills aren’t a hundred percent effective.”
His methodical, apathetic tone, coupled with his words, nearly send me into a state of hysteria and pure black rage. It takes everything in me not to shout as if I’ve lost my mind. “Are you even hearing yourself? How could you do this to me?”
“I didn’t.”
“You were planning to.”
“For the third time, I didn’t have to.”
“But you wanted to. Why the hell would you even want to impregnate me?”
“Because it’s the only way to keep you close.” He checks his watch. “Speaking of which. I think we can make it.”
“Make it where?”
He places his phone to his ear as he slowly but firmly guides me to the elevator. “I need a priest. Wake him up if you have to… We’re heading to the church…make sure Emily has everything she needs before we get there.”
The door of the elevator shuts and we head to the parking lot as he makes two more calls, speaking in Russian.
By the time he’s finished, I’m breathing so harshly, I can barely focus on what’s going on around me. “What are you doing, Adrian?”
“We’re getting married.”
The words leave him with utter ease, as if they’re the most normal occurrence, as if he didn’t just suggest that we take vows when we barely know each other.
“Please tell me you’re joking.”
He stares down on me. “I told you I don’t do that.”
I’m about to wiggle free, but he pins me in place, his eyes darkening with a warning. “Stay still and stop aggravating your injury.”
“I won’t marry you! That’s for devoted couples, not for…for…us!”
“You’re pregnant with my child. There doesn’t need to be any other reason.”
“Of course there does.”
“Not for me.”
“I need more, Adrian.”
“Too bad you don’t get to decide, Lenochka.”
Frustrated tears well in my eyes and I suck in a deep breath. “We didn’t even discuss the child, and now you’re talking about a wedding?”
“Why?” He tilts his head to the side. “Were you considering not keeping it?”
Was I? No, not really. But I didn’t even get to think properly about how I will go about this. Ideally, I want Adrian away from me and the child until I clear my head. Marriage is the last thing I want right now.
“People have kids outside of marriage,” I try to bargain.
His eyes flash with menace more terrifying than I’ve ever witnessed before. His jaw clenches when he speaks in a low tone, “My child will not be born outside of marriage. Is that fucking clear?”
My spine snaps upright at the change in his demeanor. This is the first time the calm façade has cracked and I’ve actually seen him this angry, this callous, and without any semblance of light in his gray eyes.
That’s when I recall what he said. Adrian was a mistress’s son. Shit. No wonder he doesn’t want to put his offspring in the same position.
But that doesn’t give him the right to force me into this marriage.
“At least give me time to think about it.” I sigh with resolution.
“And then what? You think you get to say no?”
Of course he won’t allow me such an option. So I try to appeal to any sliver of humanity inside him. “I’m barely surviving the end of my career, Adrian.”
If I expected any sympathy, I find nothing in his closed off face. “You’ll survive it better when you have something to occupy your time.”
“Wow, great. Thanks for thinking of me.”
“Drop the sarcasm, Lia. It doesn’t suit you.”
“So now you know everything about me?”
“Not everything, no, but I know this is happening tonight.”
I try to free myself from him, but that only manages to tighten his hold around me. “Just give me time. Let me process this.”
“You’ll have all the time you need to process it afterward.”
The elevator door opens before I can utter a word and Adrian carries me to the awaiting car.
Kolya and Yan are in the front, and the latter gives me a sympathetic look as his colleague drives away.
The news of the pregnancy has become the least of my problems now that he’s using it to make me marry him.
“Adrian…”
He faces me with an exasperated look. “What, Lia? What is it?”
“Don’t make me do this.”
“Would you rather I go back to Kristina and marry her?”
“W-what? What does she have to do with anything?”
“It’s either you or her, and if you play stubborn and say I should go to her, I’m going to make you watch me marry her, then fuck her to put an heir inside her.”
I gasp, the image forming in my head as if it’s indeed a reality. I can clearly imagine Adrian’s glorious naked body powering into the beautiful tall blonde, and bile rises to my throat, threatening to empty my stomach again.
He…wouldn’t be so cruel as to do that, right?
The question must be written all over my face, because Adrian grabs my hand and leans over to whisper in harsh words, “Go ahead, Lia. Make the foolish choice if you’re ready to bear the consequences. But understand this, I’m never letting you go. I’ll make you watch me with Kristina every night before I fuck you. She’ll have to adopt your child as hers, too, because I will not allow my offspring to be treated as a bastard. So what’s it going to be? A wife or a mistress?”
A tear rolls down my cheeks, clinging to my lips as I taste salt. I have no doubt that he’ll make true of his word, that he’d torment me in such a way so I’d regret going against him.
“You’re a monster,” I breathe out.
“And you’re marrying this monster.” He releases me with a shove and I glue myself to the back seat, my heart nearly hammering out of my chest.
He’s really left me no choice. He knows I would never be the mistress, no matter what. That I would rather go through any craziness he’s planning instead of being his side piece while another woman is his wife.
And not only that, but the jerk would take my child away, too.
When we arrive at a large old building, nausea fills my stomach.
We’re at a church.
He’ll really make me marry him tonight.
Adrian carries me out of the car and leads me to a back door. A blonde in a sharp skirt suit greets us with a smile.
“Mr. Volkov.” She nods at me. “Miss.”
“Do you have everything ready, Emily?” he asks with his non-negotiable Russian accent.
“Yes, sir. Everything’s as instructed.”
“Make it quick.” He places me to my feet.
I’m thinking of ways to somehow escape when hot breaths tickle my ear and he whispers, “If you resist, let alone attempt to run, I’ll catch you and we’ll do it my way. I assure you that’s the last thing you’d want, Lia.”
And with that, he turns around and leaves, utterly sure that I won’t do it.
And to be even more certain, a few black cars line the perimeter of the church, all of them filled with men dressed in black, like Yan and Kolya.
He brought his guards to the ceremony. Isn’t that romantic?
Emily leads me inside and introduces me to two of her helpers. I’m back to the numb state as I let them treat me like Adrian’s doll.
The asshole.
The fucking asshole.
Every time I think we’re falling into some sort of an understanding, he does something to prove his monstrous nature. I sometimes get the idea that he might care for me, but it’ll always be his way or the highway.
Emily and her helpers don’t waste any time. They wash my hair and pull it up in an elegant twist before carefully attaching a long veil to it.
After that, they apply a natural touch of makeup, painting my lips a soft pink.
Soon enough, I’m dressed in a white silk wedding dress with a large skirt that covers my cast. Its train is long and circular, matching the length of the veil.
The dress has a jewel neckline with a lace V-back that shows my skin. It’s elegant and fits me to perfection, as if it’s been specially made for me—which I wouldn’t put past Adrian.
“Is this tailored?” I ask Emily, who’s fussing with the veil.
“Yes, miss.” She beams. “We’re so glad we had it made in such a short time.”
“How long?”
“About a month.”
Since before I found out about the engagement. Adrian ordered for this dress to be made while he was engaged to Kristina. He’s intended to marry me since then.
I don’t know what to think about that. Should I be flattered? Angry? Both?
Emily says I should stay in my flat shoe since it’ll keep me comfortable. Besides, it’s covered by the dress, anyway. After finalizing the look, she retrieves a camera and grins. “Smile.”
I don’t know if I do as she takes the picture. I stare at my reflection in the long mirror and it’s like I don’t recognize myself. I look beautiful with slightly red cheeks, like a blushing bride.
But it’s the exact opposite.
That red is for anger, for the way Adrian is taking everything away and not giving me a choice.
Though he did give me one—being his wife or his mistress—but that’s merely another way of manipulating me. He never intended to go with my decision, not after he spent nearly a month preparing me a wedding dress.
Or maybe he would’ve thrown it away and had another one made for Kristina.
One thing’s for certain, I now know he’ll never let me go.
“You’re good to go, miss.” Emily smiles. “Want me to help you?”
“No, thanks.”
I lean on my crutch, head held high as I step out of the room. If I’m going to sacrifice myself, I’m not doing it with tears in my eyes or like a damsel in distress.
Because there are no knights in shining armor. What waits for me at the end of the aisle is a monster.
One I willingly let into my body and nearly allowed to destroy my soul.
Not anymore.
Adrian has added a black jacket to his outfit and stands in front of a sleepy-looking priest, with Kolya and Yan by his side. Other than that, the church is empty.
I hobble toward him and refuse to stare at the slight awe in his eyes, at how his expression lights for a bit before it completely closes off like the rest of him.
The moment I’m within reach, he squeezes my waist, and in spite of my crutch, he carefully pulls me close so his chest nearly crashes against mine.
The stormy winter skies in his eyes bore into mine as he orders the priest, “Start.”
I don’t want to look at his eyes or get caught in the lack of empathy there. Sometimes, they’re too apathetic, too black. Like now.
However, there’s something else in there, something akin to carnal possession.
I rip my gaze from his to focus on the priest, an old man with a half-bald head who speaks with a thick Russian accent.
“Skip that,” Adrian orders again when he starts to talk about marriage and its values.
“Do you, Adrian Volkov, take Lia Morelli as your wedded wife, to be with you always, in wealth and in poverty, in disease and in health, in happiness and in grief, from this day until death do you part?”
“I do,” Adrian says with so much conviction, I want to stab him for taking such vows so recklessly.
The priest turns toward me. “Do you, Lia Morelli, take Adrian Volkov as your wedded husband, to be with you always, in wealth and in poverty, in disease and in health, in happiness and in grief, from this day until death do you part?”
I stare at Adrian, at the promise of retaliation in his closed off features if I don’t say the words he wants me to.
He really shouldn’t have threatened me, because now, I’ll be completely on board with Luca’s plan. If not for anything else, then to get rid of him and the negative influence he has on my life.
Ever since he walked into it, I’ve lost complete control and I need to get it back.
During the past few weeks, I was planning to tell Luca I wouldn’t spy on the man who’s taking care of me, but Adrian showed me his true colors tonight.
“I do,” I say meekly, with no emotions at all.
“Are you sure, miss?” the priest asks, and Adrian stares at him as if contemplating whether or not he should chop his head off.
“I am,” I say. Because I’m going to make Adrian regret everything he’s made me live through since the day I first saw him in my parking garage. While I was ready to overlook that with the connection I thought we’d formed, nothing can forgive what he’s done to me tonight.
I’m still not over my ended career, but now, I find myself pregnant and also forced to marry him.
Adrian takes two small boxes from Kolya and slides a diamond ring onto my finger. It’s big, perfectly cut, and elegant. Simple and a flawless fit. However, I find no joy looking at it. If anything, it feels like an imaginary weight on my hand.
He places the other ring, a simple white gold band, in my palm and I turn off my emotions as I glide it onto his finger.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the priest says with a regretful tone. Maybe he knows exactly what type of man Adrian actually is and he’s pitying me. “You may kiss the bride.”
Adrian pulls me against his chest as he grabs me by my nape. “You’re mine now, Mrs. Volkov.”
I hate having his last name attached to mine. For some reason, it feels like I’ve sold my soul to the devil.
Worse, I actually married him.
But while Adrian considers this a win, for me, it’s only the beginning.
He forced me to be his wife? Fine.
But it’s by his wife’s hands that his life will end.
I don’t close my eyes as he presses his lips to mine. His kiss is all-consuming and meant to dominate me, to tear all my walls down.
But I’ve already lost everything.
Now, all I can do is win.
