Something’s changed.
Lia hasn’t been the same since the assassination attempt a few weeks ago at Mikhail’s birthday party.
I knew I shouldn’t have taken her there. Not only is she uncomfortable at the brotherhood’s banquets, but I’m also on edge every minute, seeing everyone as a threat and stopping myself from whisking her out of there.
Not to mention that I’m constantly seeing red whenever a man looks at her, let alone talks to her.
But it’s different this time.
She often has this dazed expression, where she’s staring at nothing, exactly as I found her the day of the attack. Yan said he fetched her from the bathroom. She was pale and had tears in her eyes, but she didn’t say a word. Not to him or to me on the way home.
I thought she was in a state of shock, but it hasn’t seemed to go away. Instances where I hear her voice are becoming few and far between. Lia isn’t just muting herself during sex. She’s doing it all the time.
She only speaks to Jeremy now, and I have to sneak in behind everyone’s back like a thief in my own fucking house to hear her.
But sometimes, even with Jeremy, she goes into a daze. He calls her name and when she doesn’t reply, he comes to me crying because his mom isn’t talking to him.
She doesn’t even realize when that happens.
After she’s out of her trance, she hugs him and tells him she’s sorry and that it won’t happen again.
But it does happen again and again. Her confused state has been recurring enough that I’m worried. Not only about her, but also about Jeremy. He’s young and attached to her, and if she keeps zoning out in his presence, he’ll take it as a rejection and it’ll traumatize him.
I’ll have to gradually get him away from her until she gets back to normal. While I hate separating them, it’s for his own good. I know what childhood fucking trauma is and my son will not relive my life. I can at least protect him like my father was unable to.
“Papa!” Jeremy barges through the kitchen, where I’m having a glass of water, his small feet slapping against the floor in his urgency.
It’s ten in the evening and way past his bedtime. He must’ve snuck out of his room to get to the master bedroom. I often find him curled into Lia’s side, as if he wants to make up for the time she closes off from him and the world.
However, she doesn’t hug him back. Lia returns to sleeping in her corpse-like position, her entire body stiff and endless nightmares plaguing her peace.
I catch Jeremy and lift him in my arms when he slams against my leg. When I look into his tear-soaked eyes, my gut squeezes. “What is it, Malysh?”
“M-Mommy…help… Mommy…”
“What happened?” I’m already heading up the stairs and to the bedroom. Jeremy is sniffling, his fingers trembling as he wraps his arms around my neck in a tight hug.
My feet come to a halt in the doorway as the scene unfolds in front of me. Lia thrashes in her sleep, fingers digging into the mattress and foam forming on either side of her mouth.
Fuck.
I put Jeremy down and try to speak softly, “Stay here, Malysh.”
He nods, sniffling.
I eat up the distance to the bed in a few strides and sit on the mattress. While Lia’s nightmares have returned with a vengeance, it’s the first time they’ve been this violent.
I grab her shoulders, shaking her. “Wake up, Lia.”
She gurgles, more foam covering her fair skin and her face turning blue.
She’s not breathing.
“Lia!” My voice rises as I shake her harsher this time. “Wake up! Come on, open your eyes, Lenochka.”
She gulps in a deep intake of air as she startles awake, her eyes open but glazed over. Then she starts weeping like a small child, the sound haunted and guttural as her fingers dig into my forearm. “Mom… I want Mom…”
“Hey,” I soothe, pulling her to me and wrapping my arms around her. “It’s only a nightmare.”
She stills for a bit, sniffling, and her fingers sink into my chest as if she wants to feel me. I stroke her dark strands and inhale her addictive rose scent.
Jeremy slowly approaches us, tears shining in his inquisitive gray eyes. “Are you okay, Mommy?”
She pulls away from me and smiles at him. “Yes, angel. Mommy just had a bad dream.”
He points a finger at me. “Papa will make them all go away.”
Her expression falls, but she nods anyway. After he kisses her goodnight, I carry Jeremy to his room and stay with him until he falls asleep.
By the time I go back to the master bedroom, Lia is sitting up in bed.
I close the door and get rid of my jacket as I stand in front of the vanity and meet her gaze through the mirror. “What’s going on, Lia?”
“Huh?” Her glassy eyes slowly meet mine. I hate seeing her in this state, hate that’s she’s out of it more than not lately.
“Is it shock from the shooting? Should I get you a psychotherapist?”
She shakes her head, scoffing softly. “It should’ve been that.”
“Should’ve been?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s obviously not nothing. What’s going on?”
“You never asked about my parents again,” she says out of nowhere. “But then again, you never really cared about me, anyway.”
I turn around to face her, a muscle working in my jaw. Does she really believe that? Does she fucking think I’d put myself in an unfavorable position within the brotherhood if I didn’t fucking care?
Sure, it might not be the type of care she wants, but I’m keeping her and our son safe.
I’ve been searching for the fucker who tried to shoot me that day, to no avail. The man we found dead with a bullet plucked out of his nape was an Eastern European mercenary who could be working for anyone.
In order to find who hired him, I’ve been calling in favors and searching day and night, but have had no luck. He must’ve been killed by whoever hired him, but why dig out the bullet? Did they fear the possibility of it being traced back to them? Although mercenaries usually have their own ammunition suppliers and wouldn’t be able to be tracked.
At any rate, finding the bastard who threatened Lia’s life has been the only thing I can focus on, and yet, she says that I don’t fucking care.
I hold on to my calm as I speak, “If you’d wanted to talk about your parents, you would’ve.”
She lays her hands on her lap, palms up, and studies them with that same glassy look. “Mom, Dad, and I weren’t well off, but we were happy. I knew he wasn’t my real father, but he was the only father I had. We lived in a small house by the Sicilian fields in which Dad managed a big farmer’s workers. It was beautiful, with huge olive trees and clear summer skies. I got to play with some of the farmer’s kids and Mom got me hooked on dancing. We were a cozy little family who prepared for the harsh winter and thrived in the summer. We had festivals during the harvest season and danced all night long. We were…normal.”
Her voice lowers, but it doesn’t break as she continues, “When I was five, something was wrong. I could feel it, even though I was young and clueless. I could tell something wasn’t sitting quite right in the house. Mom wasn’t playing the loud American music that Dad shook his head to, and he wasn’t there to kiss me or hold me. I was hiding behind the door when I heard them. Men were yelling at Dad in Italian, telling him he should give them the girl, and my composed dad was shouting back that he wouldn’t.
“Someone grabbed me and I squealed, but Mom wrapped a hand around my mouth and shook her head to quiet me. We ran outside toward a separate cottage, and she ushered me into a small box and put her finger to her mouth. She had tears in her eyes when she kissed me. She said she was sorry that Dad wasn’t my real father and that she wished she could change it. Then she told me not to get out under any circumstances until someone called me by her maiden name, Gueller.”
Lia’s hands shake, her delicate throat working with a swallow. “I spent a long time in that box, sweaty and scared. That box was so dark and tight, but I didn’t dare leave it. I could hear loud bangs from the house before it was silent. I don’t know how long I remained in the box until someone came to fetch me by calling me Little Gueller. I was starved and cold and I wet myself, but all I wanted was Mom and Dad. The man who took me to the airport told me they had died from gas asphyxiation and that I’d be living with my grandmother. He didn’t even let me see them one last time. Back then, I believed they died because of gas, it made me feel more at ease. But the older I grew, the surer I was that there was something else. Otherwise, why would Mom have hidden me?
“I asked Grandma about it and she refused to tell me anything until she was on her deathbed. She said that my mom got involved with the wrong man, a mobster, and became pregnant with me. She was forced to marry my dad so that my illegitimate existence wouldn’t reflect badly on my biological father. Grandma never told me who that was and I never wanted to get involved with him.” She meets my gaze. “But you know all of this, don’t you? You’re well aware of my whole background. That’s why you never asked.”
I tap my finger against my thigh but say nothing, waiting for her to give me what I need.
“Is it true, Adrian?”
“Is what true?”
Her chin trembles and her eyes fill with unshed tears. “Have you been keeping me all this time to get close to my father?”
“Maybe.”
Her expression falters, hurt and something else filtering in.
I need those strong emotions. Let them all out, Lia.
“But why? Why would you go to all this trouble to use me against Lazlo Luciano? He doesn’t even know I exist!”
There.
My muscles stiffen as she offers me what I’ve been waiting for. “I thought you didn’t know who your real father is.”
She swallows, realizing her mistake. “Grandma told me.”
“You just said she didn’t give you a name.”
“She…did.”
I’m in front of her in a second, holding her chin up with my fingers. “I torture grown men for answers, and I know exactly when humans lie. So why don’t you tell me who the fuck really told you your father’s name?”
Her lips tremble, cementing the fact that she does indeed have outside help. Fuck. How could I not have seen it before?
Her sparkling eyes flood with fear as she shudders. “No…one.”
“Lie.”
“I heard you,” she blurts.
“You heard me,” I repeat slowly with clear menace.
“You were talking with Kolya, and he told you to use Luciano’s offspring against him and you said you’d think about it. I also thought back on when you used to ask me about my Italian origins and connected the dots.”
“You’re good, Lia. You’ve become so good at spewing lies that you can make up an entire story out of scraps, but you’re not good enough to fool me.” I tighten my hold on her jaw. “You have one more try.”
“That was really it.”
“Wrong answer.” I release her with a shove and retrieve my phone. “We’ll start with Yan. After I torture him, I’ll know if it’s him. He might lose his dominant hand or maybe his neck, you never know. If it’s not him, we’ll move on to Boris, then to everyone else who’s been near you in the past few years.”
“No!” She lunges forward, holding onto my hand that’s grabbing the phone. “How could you hurt your own guards?”
“They told you or they let you meet with an outsider. Either way, they weren’t doing their tasks and deserve everything that befalls them. You’ll watch every second of it, so when I tell you to talk, you’ll fucking talk.”
A sob tears from her throat. “It’s someone else. Please don’t hurt them.”
Someone else? Someone fucking else? I don’t know why I hoped it was Yan or Boris. If they’d betrayed me, I could’ve dealt with it. It would’ve been even better if she’d overheard them and I could chalk all this up to something trivial.
But someone else is involved? My mind speeds up in a different direction as the worst comes to mind.
Someone. Else.
As in Lia has been meeting someone behind my fucking back.
“Who?”
She shakes her head. “I won’t tell you who he is so you can kill him.”
He.
It’s a fucking he.
Lia has been meeting a motherfucking ‘he’ behind my back.
A red mist covers my vision until it’s nearly impossible to see her through it.
My voice turns deadly calm, hinting at nothing of the raging volcano erupting inside. “Are you protecting him because he’s your lover? Are you cheating on me, Lia?”
She blinks twice, her lips trembling. “If I deny it, you’ll never believe me. You’ll just lock me up and suffocate me more. You’ll kill me slowly, so think what you want, Adrian. Do whatever the fuck you want! You’re using me, anyway, so get on with it.”
“I said, is he your fucking lover?”
She lifts her chin, and all emotions vanish from her face when she says the one word that shatters my world to smithereens, “Yes.”
I slam my fist into the headboard beside her head and shatter it to pieces. Lia remains in place, her face paling and her bright eyes going back to their glassy state.
My hand wraps around her throat, tilting it back and squeezing. “I should kill you right now.”
“Do. It,” she manages. “Dying is better than living with you.”
Her words crash into the marrow of my bones, turning me into a damn fucking beast. A growl slips from my throat, and I’m acting on pure fucking instinct as I rip the nightgown off her. The material turns to shreds and her pink nipples harden while her thighs clench together.
“Did he look at this body, Lia? Did he look at what’s fucking mine?”
She doesn’t say anything, struggling for air as I use my other hand to unbuckle my pants and free my cock.
I’m hard, but it’s with rage, with the need to murder him and punish her. The need to own her whole so she’s mine in every sense of the word.
I’m not an idiot, I know Lia’s never really loved me. It’s evident in the way she’s pulled away from me any chance she gets, how she tried to escape, but I believed she was as devoted to me as I am to her. That she cared enough about the semblance of the family we have.
But she was fucking someone behind my back.
Lia was giving what’s mine to someone else.
Where? How?
The one place I don’t have direct access to Lia is at the shelter. I’m going to find the motherfucker and kill him with a slow death.
“Did you open these legs to another man?” I slap her thighs apart and she gasps in air. “Did you let him look at my cunt?”
Lia is trembling all over, even as her pupils dilate. I give her enough of an opening so she can breathe and she sucks in a long breath through her mouth.
I cup her pussy harshly. “Whose cunt is this?”
“Yours…” she lets out in a small voice as her arousal coats my fingers.
“That’s right, mine. So how fucking dare you give what’s mine to someone else?”
Her mouth is parted, but she says nothing.
“Who’s the only one who gets to fuck you, Lia?”
She stays silent.
“I said, who’s the only one who fucks your cunt?”
“You…”
I hold her thighs down and drive inside her wet heat in one ruthless go. Usually, I’ll let her adjust to my size, but I’m in no state of mind as I pound into her with a wild rhythm that’s meant to punish her, to let her feel how much she’s cut me fucking open.
“This cunt is mine.” I lift her thigh and slap her ass, hard, and she gasps. “This ass is also mine. You belong to me, and I will fuck that fact into you until it’s the only thing you breathe and think about. Next time you even consider letting another man look at you, let alone touch you, you’ll recall this moment when every inch of you is owned by me.”
Her walls tighten around my dick, strangling me as she shatters around me. I pull out of her and smear her own juices on her back hole.
Lia’s eyes widen as I push the crown of my dick inside. “I said, every fucking inch of you, wife.”
“Adrian…”
“What?” I growl.
“You’re angry.”
“Who made me angry? Who made me lose my fucking mind?”
“But you’re going to hurt me.”
“Don’t you love it when I hurt you? Or am I not doing it hard enough?”
She shakes her head frantically.
“Tell me to fuck you in the ass, Lia. Tell me to own every inch of you.”
“Fuck me. Own me…” she whimpers.
That’s all the words I need.
Lia sucks in a deep breath, more of her arousal dripping down her cunt and onto my dick as I push farther inside. Her head rolls back and I groan at how tight she is. Even though I’ve fingered her here before, I’ve never taken it, because I wanted to leave it until she came to me, until she fucking wanted me enough to initiate sex.
But fuck that.
Fuck my sappy notions about her.
She went ahead and ruined us, so I’ll ruin her in return.
I shove all the way in, causing her eyes to shut and her pulse to quicken.
“Look at me.”
She slowly opens her lids, staring at me through hooded eyes.
“See this?” I thrust in her ass as I pound three rough fingers into her cunt.
She nods slowly, her face flushed with both pleasure and pain.
“Does your body welcome him as it welcomes me? Did you let his limp dick in your ass?”
Lia shakes her head.
“Hmm. So it was only the cunt? My fucking cunt?”
I drive harder into her, my groin slapping against her ass cheeks and my fingers powering into her pussy with renewed energy that leaves her panting. “Did you like it? Do you tighten around him as you tighten around me?”
“Noooo!” she screams as her orgasm rips through her, and her entire body bucks off the bed. I pump into her some more and then pull out and come all over her face, my cum dripping down her parted lips and chin.
It’s the first time I’ve done it, but it seemed fitting since she probably let him fucking come inside her.
I’m so paranoid that if Jeremy didn’t look like a younger version of me, I’d do a DNA test.
My beast takes complete control, and I feel like the hurt and anger will detonate me from the inside.
“Understand this, Lia. I might not hurt you, might not fucking kill you, even though you deserve it, but I’ll find that bastard, and when I do, I’ll fuck you in front of him before I slice his fucking throat. Then I’ll fuck you again in the pool of his blood.” I release her neck and she sucks in deep breaths, tears sliding down her cheeks. “Protect him while you can.”
