“Has anyone seen my basketball shoes?” Flynn’s reddish-brown hair is still damp and sticks up all over his head. With his backpack slung over one shoulder and Pop-Tart in hand, he walks around searching for them.
Knox sighs impatiently at the open front door. “We gotta go. I’m gonna be late.”
“I think I have an old pair you can borrow for today. Bottom of my closet on the right side,” Archer says from the kitchen where he and Brogan are dumping scoops of protein into big plastic cups.
Flynn disappears into Arch’s bedroom and returns a few seconds later with the borrowed shoes in hand. Knox is already heading toward his car parked in the driveway.
“Do you need a ride home after practice?” I ask before my youngest brother can jet out the door.
He pauses and glances back at me. Sometimes he looks so much like our mom, with the same color hair and eyes, that it momentarily takes my breath.
“Nah, Knox picks me up on Fridays,” he says.
“Right. I forgot.”
He gives me a one-handed wave and rushes out to catch a ride to school. When the door shuts behind him, I turn and take in the house.
“This place is a mess.” I set my mug down on the coffee table so I can pick up a blanket off the floor. Once it’s folded, I toss it onto the back of the couch, then collect the empty beer cans and trash scattered around.
“Sunday is cleaning day,” Arch says before he chugs his protein drink and sets the empty cup in the sink next to a half-dozen just like it.
“By Sunday we won’t have any clean cups and the living room will be a danger zone.” I trip on something as if emphasizing my point. Glancing down, I add, “Found Flynn’s shoes.”
My jaw clenches as I dump the trash into the overflowing garbage and the cans into the recycling. I don’t have time to do much more than that. I need to be on campus in twelve minutes.
“I’m gonna run the dishwasher before I leave.” Chill. He signs the last part to Brogan instead of saying it, probably hoping I won’t catch it.
I let it go, not really having the time to fight or educate my brother on why I can’t chill. Moving back into a house with my brothers has me tense and grumpy. I’m used to having my own space—a clean space. The state of this place has me feeling annoyed and guilty for feeling annoyed.
I come to stand at the counter in front of Archer and Brogan. “Knox is picking up Flynn on his way home, and you two have practice until six. Dinner at seven? I thought I’d grill some steaks.”
Arch shakes his head, and the movement sends his shaggy hair flying and gives a rare peek at the hearing aids it usually covers. “On Wednesdays we’re done at four, but some buddies are having people over tonight so Brogan and I won’t be back until late.”
“I thought Wednesdays were a late practice day.”
“No. Knox works late on Wednesdays. We’re out early.”
“If he’s working late, how is he going to pick up Flynn?” I ask, my irritation quickly ramping back as I try to mentally organize four calendars of sports and work.
“Flynn stays after practice and lifts weights until Knox gets there. His coach is cool with it, don’t worry. We’ve got it covered,” Arch says, a hint of amusement dancing over his features.
“Don’t sweat it,” Brogan says, sensing my frustration. “Keeping track of schedules around here is harder than finding Arch a date.”
That comment earns Brogan an elbow to the stomach.
“We better go,” Archer says. He walks backward toward the door, Brogan a step in front of him. “Steaks tomorrow night instead?”
“Yeah.” I nod, mouth pulled into a tight line.
When I’m alone, I let out a long breath. I forgot what this was like. Growing up in a house with three younger brothers, really four, since Brogan’s been a part of the family since he and Archer met in middle school, I’m no stranger to the chaos and mess, but I’d forgotten how much I crave a little peace and quiet. And how guilty that makes me feel.
A lot has changed in the four years I’ve been gone. Flynn was only twelve when I left, Knox and Archer were in high school, Brogan was already like a brother to us, but he still spent the majority of his time living at his parents’ house, and Dad, as unhelpful as he was at managing us, was still coming around.
I’m crashing here temporarily. The location is great, and it gives me a chance to keep an eye on my brothers while I’m here. I’ve been taking care of them the best I can from afar, sending money and checking in via text and calls, but it’s obvious in the short amount of time I’ve been back, that things are much more chaotic than I realized.
For starters, the place looks more like a frat house than the home it once was. We didn’t have a lot of money, and what little we did have Dad took with him, but nearly all traces of Mom and Dad are gone—something I’m sure I can thank Knox for. He tenses up at just the mention of our parents. That’s Knox—angry at the world.
Then there’s Flynn. He’s grown so much. He was this sweet, short and skinny kid that followed me around before I left, and now he’s nearly as tall as Archer and doesn’t say more than two words at a time if he can help it.
And Arch and Brogan are the knuckleheads they’ve always been. At least I can count on them to bring a little normalcy to the otherwise weird experience of being back.
I grab my mug and take it to the sink, then curse when I see it still piled high with dirty dishes. So much for Arch taking care of it before he left. I can’t worry about it now, so I add my mug to the heap and then grab my keys to head out.
The Valley U campus is nicer than I remember it. I grew up here in Valley attending football games with my brothers, even crashed a few college parties in high school. Sticking around after I graduated and going to a local college was never something I considered. I wanted out. I needed out.
The memories from the two years I spent at college in Washington are blurry, but pleasantly filled with long days of classes, hard afternoons busting my ass on the football field, and drunken nights out. God, it had felt good to be far away from this place. After I quit school to play in the NFL, I never thought I’d step onto another college campus. But here I am, and in the last place I ever imagined.
I pull my hat down low over my eyes as I take a seat across from the music building to wait until the next class. My brothers don’t know this is where I spend my days. They think I’m in Valley crashing for a few months after a long, disappointing football season. They’re only partly right.
I’m emptying the dishwasher when Knox and Flynn get home.
“Hey,” I say as they walk through the living room. “Have a good day?”
Knox grunts and Flynn mutters, “It was fine.”
The latter immediately disappears into his room, slamming the door behind him, and Knox plops down onto the couch.
“Want a beer?” I call as I close the dishwasher.
“Nah. I’m going to shower and then take the bike out.” He untucks his work shirt, then removes his ball cap and tosses it onto the coffee table. He lets his head drop back for a few seconds and then groans as he quickly hops to his feet.
“I keep meaning to ask how that’s going. Are you doing any local races?”
I had my suspicions that the long days working and being the primary caretaker of our brothers had taken a toll on him and the professional racing career he’d dreamt of, but he never says much via text.
“Not really.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Are you staying in tonight?”
I hesitate, wondering if he’s going to invite me out. Since coming back, I haven’t spent a lot of time with any of them one-on-one and maybe that’s exactly what we need.
“Flynn needs a ride to a buddy’s house later,” he says when I don’t answer.
Ah, he doesn’t want to hang out, he wants to make sure I can chauffeur our little brother. Once upon a time we were close, but now he has this wall up and it’s hard to get any straight answers from him. If he won’t talk to me about motorcycles, then I’m officially out of ideas to connect with him.
“If you’re busy, I can—”
I cut him off. “No, it’s fine. I’m not going anywhere.”
