I drive to the job site to check in with the survey crew and then go back to the office and make a million calls.
“Whatcha doing?” Phillip asks, standing in the doorway.
I point to the phone and finish my conversation while he stalks toward me with a smirk on his face.
“What’s the smirk about?”
He pulls me into his arms and grabs my ass. “Just thinking you look really sexy today.”
“I wish I felt sexy,” I tell him. “Morning sickness seems to be stretching into the afternoon. Peggy, your new assistant—who I am in love with, by the way—dropped off a piece of her homemade carrot cake, and I thought I was going to puke all over it. That’s not the impression I want to make on someone who can bake the way she can.”
He grins. “Maybe you need cupcakes instead.”
“Are you referring to actual cupcakes or cupcake sex?”
“Hmm,” he murmurs, kissing my neck. “Maybe both.”
“This weekend was sort of lacking in that department with our visitors. Speaking of that, did you hear your mother going on and on about how the house was dusty?”
“Uh, no.”
“Well, I did. And it was embarrassing. You told me you were going to clean.”
“I told you that I cleaned their rooms and their bathroom. Seemed stupid to clean the basement when it was going to get dirty again.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s not the point, and you know it.”
His gaze lingers on the front of my shirt.
“Tonight, we’re going to clean when we get home. No matter how tired I am. We need to get it done, okay?”
“Okay,” he says with a sigh. “Cupcake sex sounds a lot more fun though.”
“Maybe we should hire a cleaning lady. Just every other week.”
“Sounds expensive,” he says.
“Somehow, I knew you were going to say that. I guess it’s something we have to decide if it’s worth the expense.”
“How are we going to do that?” He grins and squeezes my ass again.
I remove his hands from my backside and tease, “I’m practically being sexually assaulted by my boss.”
“Oh, you haven’t seen anything yet,” he insinuates.
“Don’t you have some work to do?”
He gives me a kiss. “Yes. Was just missing my bride.”
“You know you’ve started calling me your bride when you’re trying to be romantic?”
“I’m trying to be sexy, not romantic. We need steaming-hot, raunchy sex tonight. I’m just saying. Even if it means I have to do all the cleaning. How about I take off a little early? Meet you at home around four?” He gives my ass yet another squeeze, kisses me, and heads back to his office.
I make a few more phone calls, but my mind is preoccupied. I’m wondering if cleaning could be both utilitarian and raunchy.
So, I call Danny.
“Sup,” he says. “So, are you freaking out about being pregnant? You seem really excited.”
“I was a little freaked out about feeling sad about not being pregnant. Then, I freaked when I realized I might be pregnant. Then, I nervously freaked when the lines turned pink. Then, I was shocked and freaked when the doctor confirmed it. Now, I’m just freaking happy. It was fun to tell everyone. Although I’m a little nervous we told everyone so soon. Hopefully, everything will go okay. Other than some nausea and fatigue, I feel mostly okay.”
“Your boobs look bigger.”
“Phillip said that, too. I think it’s wishful thinking on his part. And, speaking of freaking, the look on Joey’s and Phillip’s faces when you showed them maternity underwear was priceless.”
“More like a sad reality.”
“Since I’m not quite there yet, I was thinking …”
“Uh-oh. You know we’re coming over for dinner tonight.”
“I know. Just don’t come over until six thirty. Phillip and I are going to be cleaning.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Never mind. The reason I called is, I want to know the name of the place where you bought our XXX honeymoon gifts.”
“Looking to purchase a few new trinkets? Maybe I should join you.”
“I think I’d like to go myself. And no sex toys. Just something, uh, just something.”
“You can’t go in there all embarrassed-like.”
“I won’t. I just don’t need to give you details.”
“I like details.”
“Too bad. Can you tell me the name of it, so I can look up their website and see if they have what I need?”
“I’d rather take you there. Come on. Let’s go have some fun.”
I glance at the clock. “Fine. Text me the address and be there in thirty minutes. I don’t have a lot of time.”
I hear the garage door open and run to the laundry room that’s just off the door from the garage.
As Phillip walks in, I stop him with a feather duster. “Bonjour, monsieur.”
Phillip gives me a surprised grin, but then his dad runs into the back of him.
His dad eyes my skimpy French maid outfit, and I want to die of embarrassment. I run back into the laundry room and slam the door.
Phillip comes into the room, grabs my hand, and pulls me down the hall and into our bedroom. He gives me a steamy look, lust all over his face.
“Can I get a rain check on this?” he asks. “Dad got tied up at work today, and now, Omaha is getting an ice storm, so my parents are spending the night again.”
“It might have been nice for you to tell me that. You told me to meet you at home for cupcake sex! What if I had been naked and surrounded by frosting, Phillip?”
He grabs the feather duster and runs it across my chest.
“Stop that!”
But he doesn’t. He peeks down the front of the French maid costume.
“A very hot, sexy rain check.”
“I don’t know, Phillip. This maid is very busy.”
He drops the duster and pulls me against him. He slides his hands up my skirt, clearly insinuating that he’d be up for a quickie.
“Your parents are out there,” I say, trying without much resolve to fend him off.
“Are you sure we can’t?” he says, teasing me by moving his fingers inside my thong.
“Of course we can’t. You need to stop that, and I need to change.”
“I’ll help you,” he says, stripping the costume off in one fluid motion and hungrily staring at me.
“That’s not exactly helpful,” I tell him as he licks his lips. “You need to go out there since you have clothes on, so they don’t think we are in here, doing exactly what you’re thinking about.”
“What do you think I’m thinking about? Because I was thinking about …” He whispers something naughty into my ear.
“You have a dirty mind.”
“Isn’t that why you were dressed like that? Because I’m a dirty boy?” he asks, lowering his lips to my chest.
I push him away, grab the outfit I had on today, and quickly put it on. “Please go out there, so we don’t go together. I’m embarrassed enough as it is.”
“I want to know why you dressed up.”
“Because I thought we could make cleaning fun.”
“We wouldn’t have done any cleaning, and you know it,” he says, flipping my skirt. “Although I think you’re right. I’d rather have sex than clean. And, with work and you being pregnant, I think a cleaning lady makes sense.”
“Really?”
He kisses my nose. “You dress like that, and you are probably going to get anything you want,” he states.
Because I worked all day and had sexy times planned for dinner, when we were at the XXX store, buying the outfit, I told Danny to plan on going out for dinner tonight. I quickly call him.
“Please tell me you haven’t left for dinner yet.”
“We haven’t,” Lori says, answering his phone. “Danny worked out late and is in the shower.”
“Thank God. Please tell me that we can go to dinner together.”
“Danny told me you were being the sexy maid tonight.”
“I was all dressed up, ready to go, and pushed the feather duster into Phillip’s chest, just like we’d planned, but then …”
“Then, what?”
“His dad ran into the back of him and saw me. Mom was still in the garage, thankfully.”
“Oh crap.”
“Tell me about it. Now, I’m hiding in my room. The surprising thing is, Phillip wanted to do it while his parents were in the house!”
“And that’s bad?”
“It is when they saw how I was dressed. It’s one thing to sneak off when no one knows, but when you’re dressed in a cheap French maid costume with your boobs and ass hanging out, I’m pretty sure they know.”
“True.”
“I didn’t make dinner because I thought we’d be in bed. Now, I have to go out and face them. Please don’t make me do it alone. Come over. Now. Tell Danny to meet us when he’s done.”
She giggles.
“Why are you giggling? Wait. Don’t say it. Don’t even bring up the couch incident, and tell your husband that you will give him no sex—like ever—if he breathes a word of it to anyone, especially to Phillip’s parents.”
“I’m on my way.”
“Thank you!”
I put on my boots and then run out of my room and straight out of the house.
“Where are you go—” I hear Phillip say as I shut the front door behind me.
Lori is just coming up the driveway.
“I should have had you bring something, so it looks like I’m helping you. Now, I just look like a lunatic.”
“You are a lunatic,” Danny says, running up behind us. He gives me a smirk. “Is Phillip a dirty boy?”
“Ohmigawd, Lori! Did you not tell him what just happened?”
“What just happened?” he asks, looking dumbfounded. “And why are you already done?”
I give him a quick replay.
He’s still laughing as we head in the house.
