Two days later, on Saturday morning, there’s a shiny, new black SUV sitting in my driveway.
Danny comes wandering over to check it out. “Nice.” He whistles. “You trade in the Beemer?”
“No, Phillip got to keep his sports car. I got the mom car.”
“This is hardly a mom car,” Danny says. “Horsepower of three twenty-nine. It’s got some get up and go.”
“And one of the highest crash-test ratings,” I tell Danny.
“That’s smart,” Danny says. “You’ll have some precious cargo in there pretty soon.”
Phillip comes up behind me, wraps his arms around my shoulders, and kisses the side of my face. “I already have precious cargo.”
And, yeah, that makes me melt. I lean my head back into his chest. “I’m teasing about it being a mom car. I think it’s beautiful.”
“Plus, you look hot, driving it,” Phillip whispers. “Course, you’d look hot, driving anything.”
“Okay, you two.” Danny rolls his eyes. “No sex in the driveway. We don’t want you getting kicked out of the neighborhood.”
Phillip and I laugh.
“How’s Devaney doing today?” I ask.
“She’s asleep,” Lori says, sneaking up from behind us, baby monitor in hand. “Phillip, did you get a new car?”
“I got this for JJ,” he says to her. “I knew it would take something really nice to get her to trade her car in.”
“A Mercedes. Well, aren’t you a spoiled brat?” Lori says to me. She says it in a way that’s supposed to be funny, but there’s a bite to her voice.
“I got it because it’s one of the safest SUVs on the market,” Phillip tells Lori. “Not because of the brand.”
“That’s so sweet of you,” she says. “Danny, have you ever checked the safety rating for my car?”
“Uh …” Danny stutters.
“Your Altima has a good rating,” Phillip interjects.
She purses her lips and nods her head. “Lucky me.”
“Plus, I just bought a boat,” Danny announces.
“You did what?” Lori says. It’s obvious she knew nothing about it.
“I bought a boat. I was just coming over here to see if Phillip could go to the dealership with me. Then, I thought I would surprise you with it, Lori. It’s a gorgeous day. We can get out and enjoy it.”
“You want to take our newborn on a boat?” Lori asks incredulously.
“She’s almost three months old. The couple up the street has a two-month-old, and they take him on their boat. They say that he sleeps, well, like a baby. I thought it might be a way for us to get out of the house.”
“I’ll have to do some research on whether or not it’s even safe,” Lori says.
Devaney makes a little sniffle noise over the monitor, and Lori rushes into the house.
Danny shakes his head. “I can’t win.”
“Danny, if you make a big purchase, it’s probably a good idea to tell your wife about it,” Phillip suggests.
“It was supposed to be a fun surprise.” He runs his hand across the hood of my car. “You know, she commented the other day about how all the other players’ wives have luxury cars. Couldn’t you have gotten Jay a nice, safe Toyota or something? Although I’m not getting her one until she starts leaving the house. You know she’s started ordering groceries online. She’s paranoid the baby will catch a germ.”
“Maybe you should take her out on a date,” Phillip suggests.
“That’s why I bought the boat, people. It was supposed to be the best of both worlds. Baby sleeps. We can relax, talk, and reconnect.”
“Maybe we could all go out on it,” I suggest. “That would be fun. Or we could watch the baby while you go out.”
“Let’s all go,” Danny says.
Danny and Phillip pick up the boat and get it pulled up to the dock in front of their house, and by some miracle, Lori has agreed to go out. Devaney is safely strapped into her baby carrier, which is set on the floor of the pontoon in the shade. Danny wrapped a life jacket around the top of the handle, so in the unlikely event that the carrier gets knocked into the water, it won’t sink to the bottom.
Danny cruises around in the boat for a bit, and once Devaney is lulled to sleep, he stops in a calm cove, drops the anchor, and pops open a couple of beers, tossing one to Phillip.
I strip off my tee and shorts. “Let’s get in the water!”
Phillip grabs my hand, and together, we jump off the swim deck. “Ahhh! That’s cold!”
Danny dive-bombs right in between us. “This is awesome,” he says. “Come on, Lori. Get in.”
“I’ll pass,” she says. “I’m afraid my body is not swimsuit ready yet.”
“Who cares?” Danny says. “It’s just us.”
“I care, Danny,” she says in a snotty tone.
As I get back into the boat, she looks me up and down. “I never would have worn a bikini when I was pregnant.”
“I think she’s beautiful,” Phillip says, rubbing his hand across my belly.
“I don’t mean this in a bad way,” Danny says, “but your stomach doesn’t seem that big.”
Lori rolls her eyes.
“The doctor says, because I’m tall, the baby has more room lengthwise. We just had a third ultrasound, and the baby’s right on target.”
“I like how you’ve been posting pictures of your bump with the chalkboard that shows how far along you are,” Danny says. “We’ll have to do that for the next one, Lori.”
“Do you want to wait a while to have another or have them close together?” Phillip asks them.
“I can’t even think about that right now,” Lori says.
“That makes sense,” I say, trying to be nice. “I think I’d like our kids fairly close together, but that’s all just a theory at this point. Babies are obviously a lot of work. I can’t even believe how much Devaney has grown already though. She’s beautiful.”
“She’s really developing a little personality, too,” Danny says. “That’s the fun part. When she smiles, she just melts my heart. My new goal in life is to make her laugh.”
“When do they start doing that?” I ask.
“Three to four months,” Lori says. “And Devaney is very advanced, so I’m sure it will be very soon.”
Danny tosses Phillip another beer. “Lori, you want one?”
“I’m nursing,” she says, like he’s an idiot.
“I thought you could pump and dump?” Danny counters.
“Do we even want to know what that means?” Phillip asks with a laugh.
“It’s when you pump breast milk out and throw it away. Lots of women do it when they want to drink, but don’t want to pass alcohol along to the baby,” Danny replies, holding out a beer for Lori, who declines.
“That’s awesome,” I say. “I’m totally doing that. I can’t wait to drink again.”
