“LET’S JUST TIGHTEN THIS UP,” the sales associate, Geraldine, said before clamping metal clips up the back of my dress to make it fit and I stared at my reflection.
I hated this.
“How does it look?” Elizabeth called. She was sitting outside the dressing room, drinking champagne with Hannah, Max, and Div. Div had stopped in for breakfast at the restaurant yesterday morning and I’d extended the invitation to him. He seemed like someone who would tell me the truth about dresses.
“She’s breathtaking,” Geraldine called back as she tightened the bodice.
“Too tight,” I gasped.
The dress had so much volume I could barely fit in the dressing room. Geraldine was pressed up against the walls.
I didn’t have an idea of the dress I wanted because I had never thought about it. I figured, if I were to ever get married, it would be a simple, private ceremony, and I’d wear a dress I could wear again and again. Something practical, like a wrap dress I could wear to work. Nothing against big weddings, I loved attending them, but all eyes on me? Not my bag.
I remembered standing in front of the store with the others. This was just another thing to cross off the list, and the restaurant would be mine. Geraldine had insisted this one looked better on than hanging up, so I’d shrugged my shoulders and gave it a whirl. Besides, this experience was just as much for Elizabeth, Hannah, Max, and Div as it was for me. The rest of the dresses hanging outside the dressing room were chosen by them. I’d said yes to every suggestion. I didn’t know anything about wedding dresses, and I trusted my people who were here today would never let me wear something hideous.
One dress had caught my eye while we browsed the store, sipping champagne and running our fingers over the fabrics. It was soft cream silk, with capped sleeves that draped slightly, and delicate beadwork on the bodice. It looked like something out of the twenties, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
“Oooh, vintage,” Hannah said at my side before grabbing it. “Add it to the pile.”
“No,” I said, putting it back on the rack. “I don’t think it’s quite my style.”
I don’t know why I did that. The dress was so delicate and interesting and unique, and I wanted it but something in me hesitated and turned away. This wedding was fake, I reminded myself. A dress like that would make it feel too real, and that felt risky, like putting my fingers too close to the candle flame.
In the dressing room, through the blur of the veil Geraldine had popped on my head, I stared at my reflection. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Carted around and dressed up like a doll, but it was to get what I wanted.
The money had arrived in my bank account a few days ago and Keiko and I had a meeting scheduled at the bank a couple days after the wedding.
Part of me couldn’t believe it had happened. Emmett had signed a paper and a bank had given me a mountain of money to buy a restaurant. It was a dream. This kind of thing didn’t happen to people like me. I didn’t know what people like me meant, but I knew I was very, very lucky.
“Alright, princess, go on out,” Geraldine said, opening the dressing room door and shoving me out. The skirt was wider than the door, so she had to push with both hands on my back.
I stumbled out and my entourage gasped. They couldn’t see my face through the veil and I couldn’t see theirs.
“What do you think?” I asked, squinting at them.
“What do you think?” Elizabeth asked, her voice deliberately light.
“Isn’t it divine?” Geraldine asked beside me. “So modern, so elegant, like a Disney princess.”
I lifted the veil up. “I don’t know if this is the dress for me.”
Everyone except Geraldine sagged with relief. Elizabeth and Hannah winced at each other.
“Thank god,” Max said, shaking his head.
“You cannot marry Emmett in that dress,” Div told me. “You look like one of those dolls they sell on QVC after two in the morning that lonely Boomers buy.”
“And add to the creepy collection they display in their dining room,” Max added, and they dissolved into laughter.
“My daughter wore this dress at her wedding,” Geraldine told us with wide eyes.
Elizabeth stood and put her hand on Geraldine’s shoulder. “I’m sure it was lovely on her. Avery, honey, why don’t you try on another.”
Over and over, Geraldine pulled the dresses over my shoulders and shoved me out into the viewing area like a show dog. Over and over again, Geraldine saw my bare boobs. I didn’t have a choice in either, and after the third dress, I stopped caring.
“This one is nice,” Hannah said, raising her eyebrows, watching my reaction as I stepped out.
I nodded with a pleasant smile, staring at the satin bodice with clamshell cups. “It is.”
“Your boobs look great,” Div added.
“They do,” I agreed, glancing at the ample cleavage the structured bodice provided. “They sure do.”
The memory of Emmett staring hungrily at my boobs the other night before prom flashed into my head and I bit back a grin.
Emmett. Even the guy’s name sent a little shiver of excitement and horniness through me.
The other night was… incredible. It was the best sex I’d ever had and we didn’t even have sex. Not that I’d ever admit that to Emmett, the guy had an oversized ego as it was. But the way his fingers slicked over me, the way he located the button inside me and undid me, the way he groaned and collapsed against me as he came in my hand.
Jesus.
“Are you okay?” Hannah asked with concern. “You’re flushed.”
I snapped to attention. No horny thoughts about Emmett, not while his mother was sitting in front of me. I swallowed and smiled at Hannah. “Just a little hungry, I think.”
Hungry for more sexy times with Emmett, maybe.
Elizabeth gestured at my dress. “This isn’t the one.”
I glanced at the dress over her shoulder again, the vintage one, and turned back to them. “Well, gang, which one do you think it is? The second?” The second was a simple, slinky satin dress with a low back. It was pretty, and I looked pretty in it.
Hannah got up and walked around the couch. My stomach flopped. She reached for the dress, the dress, picked it up, and brought it to Geraldine. “One more.”
“No,” I said shaking my head. “I think the second one is better.”
“Just humor us,” Hannah said. “Please? Then we’ll get lunch.”
There was a flicker of challenge on her normally shy face. My stomach dropped. She knew. She knew there was something about this dress.
Geraldine took the dress from her and guided me back to the dressing room. I stared at the wall without a mirror while she helped me into it. The lining was satin and smooth. Goddammit. The weight of the dress felt perfect, luxurious, and heavy. It made me want to run my hands over myself again and again.
I could feel the worry on my face as I stepped out.
Hannah’s eyes lit up. Elizabeth gasped. Max and Div didn’t say a word.
“What?” I asked. “Bad?”
“See for yourself,” Elizabeth said.
I looked in the mirror and my heart flipped upside down in my chest. I bit my lip.
And then I started crying.
Elizabeth jumped up. “This is the one! We found it.”
“I knew it,” Hannah whispered to herself.
Geraldine sprinted to the front desk. “I’ll ring it up.”
“Wha—” I started. “Hold on.” I wiped at my eyes.
I studied my reflection again. The dress fit me perfectly, with a few cinches and clips here and there by Geraldine, and it was gorgeous. So gorgeous. Like, spend months hunting on eBay and vintage websites, kind of gorgeous. I swallowed again. My throat was tight but my heart flip-flopped. I wanted this dress, I could admit, I wanted it so badly, but could I marry Emmett in this dress? This was a real wedding dress, not just in the way it looked but how it felt. Could I fake-marry Emmett in a real wedding dress?
“You look beautiful,” Hannah told me with a soft smile, and I gave her one back.
I was going to be brave, and I was going to buy the gorgeous dress that made me feel like a million bucks.
Max and Div were sifting through the veils, discussing which one fit my head better.
“No veils,” I told them. I tilted my chin at the sparkly comb clips on the table near them. “But you can pick a hairpin.”
Their eyes lit up and they hurried over to find something.
I glanced at my reflection again and shoved away the thoughts of hesitation. It was fine.
“Alterations will take three to four months,” Geraldine called over, and my stomach tensed. The wedding was next week. I’d have to choose a different dress, something that didn’t need alterations.
Elizabeth smiled and put her hand on my shoulder. “I’ll be doing the alterations.”
I gave her a grateful look.
“Don’t you even dare,” Div told me when I slipped my wallet out of my purse. “Emmett said to watch you like a hawk because you might try to pay.”
“Come on,” Max said, pulling me out of the shop.
“I don’t even know how much it costs,” I protested.
“Doesn’t matter,” Max ignored my objections.
Within minutes, we all reconvened outside. Div held the box, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
The group of us headed to a nearby restaurant for lunch, talking and laughing and in high spirits. This morning, in anticipation of dress shopping, I was filled with dread, but now I felt lighter, happier, and optimistic.
This was all going to be just fine.
“What a lovely day,” Elizabeth said once we were seated, “with my future daughter-in-law.” She smiled warmly at me, and I felt it all the way down to my toes.
And then a pang of cold guilt hit me in the stomach. I couldn’t get too used to this. I cleared my throat. “The ahi tuna looks good.”
“I can’t wait to meet your parents,” she told me, reading her own menu. “They must be so excited that their baby is getting married.”
A rock dropped in my stomach.
I had spoken with my mom on the phone yesterday. I had called her with the intention of telling her about the restaurant and getting married and then I just… froze. The words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. I had listened while my mom told me about the book she was reading and then we said goodbye and hung up. After I failed to tell her, calling my dad wasn’t even an option. I hadn’t spoken to the guy in close to two years.
I shifted in my seat, picturing him pulling Emmett aside and asking to borrow money. Shame unfurled in me and made its way up into my throat.
“Mhm.” I swallowed the shame down and stared at my menu. “I wonder if the tuna is fresh or frozen.”
“Are they spending a few days in town?” She turned to me. “I’d love to have them over for dinner.”
“Um, I’m not sure,” I said, eyes glued to my menu. “They’re pretty busy with stuff.”
I pictured my mom meeting Emmett, and him turning on the politician’s charm with her. Would she think he was too much like my dad? Would she disapprove? Would she fall in love with him like everyone else?
The knots in my stomach turned over. Why did it matter? Emmett and I weren’t getting married for real. I knew this, and yet somehow, I had to keep reminding myself.
“Do you smell smoke?” Max asked, staring straight at me with a knowing look.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“No?” Hannah said, sniffing the air.
Max continued to look at me. “Liar, liar, pants on fire,” he mouthed.
I stared at my menu. I’d call them today. I’d call them individually and tell them I was getting married and ask them to come.
A shudder of anxiety rolled through me.
Tomorrow. I’d call them tomorrow.
