We’re standing in the kitchen because the only furniture in this part of the house is the TV mounted to the wall and a couple of beanbags Damon brought down from his bedroom for the time being.
Devaney and Damon give me their sweetest grins, causing me to immediately wonder what’s up, and ask if they can throw a party.
“What kind of party?” I ask, my mind immediately thinking of the ones I went to in high school that involved beer and cheer(leaders).
“Could we make ornaments and decorate a real tree this year? Have hot chocolate and eat Christmas cookies and play Christmas music?”
The puppy is licking Jennifer’s face as she nods at me.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” I say, feeling relieved.
My kids are so much better than I was.
While they run upstairs to start planning, Jennifer saunters over to me with the puppy still in her arms and a grin on her face. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her look so sexy. I used to watch her in movies; now, she’s literally starring in my life.
It’s both incredible and surreal.
“Do you feel like we just dodged a bullet?” she asks me. “The minute he said party, I was thinking sneaking your parents’ alcohol and playing Seven Minutes in Heaven and Spin the Bottle.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” I admit, glancing upstairs before taking her hips in my hands and pulling her tightly against me.
“Danny!” she says with a gasp as I push my pelvis against hers, letting her know what I want. Right now.
“I still can’t believe you’re in my house,” I say, lowering my head and possessively putting my lips on hers. “My room. Now.”
“But—” she says.
I don’t reply; I just take her hand then lead her into my bedroom. Somehow, in my heated state, I manage to lock the door and put the puppy in her kennel before putting my lips back on hers.
Jennifer
“You two look thick as thieves,” Phillip says when we get to their place later that evening. “What’s up?”
“They are just in love,” Jadyn scoffs.
“No,” Phillip says, eyeing us. “That’s the we just had a quickie look.”
My mouth falls open.
Phillip laughs. “Ah, Jen, you gotta work on your acting skills. You’re supposed to at least pretend it’s not true when you get caught.”
“We didn’t get caught,” I fire back. “But the dog started howling, and I started laughing hysterically. But Danny was a champ and still powered through. In spite of it all.”
Danny slightly raises his chin and grins, like he’s posing for a headshot.
Jadyn is busy setting out three mason jars filled with bacon strips on the island in front of us as Phillip passes out beers.
“What kind of bacon is this?” Danny asks.
“First one is pepper bacon dipped in chocolate. Second one is your favorite with the brown sugar and cayenne pepper. Third one is a new creation. A peanut butter glaze.”
“We might need your help with something,” I say to Jadyn as I try the peanut butter bacon. “Oh my gosh, this is delicious!”
“What’s that?” Jadyn asks.
“The kids asked if they could have a party,” Danny says.
“Oh boy,” Phillip says.
“That’s exactly what I thought!” I say. “And I want to do the toast.” We all raise our beers. “To life’s little, unexpected moments.”
“Big moments,” Danny coughs.
“Yes, of course,” I say with a laugh. “There was nothing little about our recent, unexpected moment.”
We’re all laughing as we clink our bottles together.
“I told the kids we could have a real tree this year, and they asked if they could have a party where they make ornaments.”
“That’s so sweet,” Jadyn says, getting misty-eyed.
“Why does that make you sad?” I ask Jadyn.
“Because Lori always thought real trees were too messy.”
“And she’s having baby-itis,” Phillip continues. “Our kids always made ornaments for our trees when they were little. Actually,” he says, looking closer at his wife, “they still do.”
Jadyn sets her beer down, all of a sudden looking at it like it’s poison. “Oh my gosh,” she says as the tears flow.
“Oh my gosh,” Phillip says, his eyes huge.
“Wait, oh my gosh what?” I ask, trying to figure what’s going on.
I watch as Danny’s eyes immediately go to Jadyn’s boobs. It makes me instantly jealous.
But then he laughs and goes, “Oh my gosh,” too.
Jadyn takes a deep breath and says one word, “Phillip.”
“I’m on it,” he says and then races out to the garage.
I turn to Danny. “Where’s he going?” I ask, but he doesn’t answer. Instead, he follows Phillip out the door, saying he’ll go with him.
“What was all that?” I ask Jadyn. “I swear, sometimes, you three speak in code.”
“They’re going to go buy me a pregnancy test,” she says. “When Phillip said baby-itis, it sort of hit me. Danny looked at my boobs, which always get bigger when I’m first pregnant, and I was just complaining to Phillip about my bra feeling tight and wondered if it had shrunk.” She glances down at her chest.
Honestly, now that they pointed it out, it does look like she’s wearing a great push-up bra.
I give her a hug and feel a twinge of jealousy, wishing it were me who was pregnant.
“Phillip and I have been talking about if we want more kids a lot lately. We sort of decided we were done.”
“But you’ve been having second thoughts about it?” I ask.
“Kind of. And I didn’t know if it’s because I truly want more or just because of the realization that my babies are growing up.”
I start pacing. “This is hard, isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“The waiting and wondering?”
“It’s part of it. And, although I have pretty easy pregnancies, the worry is always there and the hormones.”
“The kind that make you cry over Christmas ornaments?” I tease.
“Yes, those kind exactly.”
Danny
I’m in the car with Phillip, driving to the pharmacy. “I thought you decided you were done?”
“We did,” he replies.
“But Jadyn wasn’t sure?”
“No, she agreed, but she’s been a little sad about it.”
“Should I be wishing for the test to be positive or negative?”
Phillip turns to me with a beaming smile. “Positive, definitely positive.”
“You changed your mind?” I ask him, thinking he needs to slow down a little. He’s driving like a maniac.
“I was going to tell you tonight. I signed the deal with Tripp. Had a call today with the board of directors of our company, and they all agreed,” he says.
“I take it, you got everything you asked for?”
“And more. When it took him too long to reply to my last offer, I upped the price.”
“You got that, too?” I ask, impressed.
“Yes. The company will transition over the next six months, and other than the board jobs, I’ll be retired. After four kids, a baby doesn’t scare me anymore. I know what I’m doing. This is going to be so much fun.”
I let out a sigh, the kind of dreamy sigh usually reserved for my teenage daughter.
“Oh boy,” Phillip says. “I know exactly where your mind just went.”
“And where’s that?” I scoff.
“You were just thinking about how you will probably retire soon and how you want babies with Jennifer.”
“And how cool it would be to have babies around the same age,” I admit.
“It would be pretty cool,” Phillip agrees.
Jennifer
The boys get home, and I am pretty sure they bought the store out of pregnancy tests.
“I can never remember which one is the best when they are all lined up next to each other,” Phillip says with a wry grin.
Jadyn quickly plucks one out of the mix.
“Only one?” Phillip questions.
“Yeah, I was just thinking, this is silly. I mean, I realized I am actually a little late, but I’m probably not.”
“Wait,” I say. “Do we want to be or not?”
“We don’t,” Jadyn insists.
Phillip looks sad.
And I know Jadyn is lying. Telling herself she doesn’t want to be pregnant so that if she’s not, she won’t feel disappointed. And I know the difference. I’ve had a couple of scares when I’ve prayed to everyone I could think of to please, please not be.
We sit in silence while Jadyn goes into the master bedroom and presumably pees on the stick.
She comes out a few moments later, sets the stick on a paper towel on the kitchen counter, and then paces around the kitchen table where the rest of us are sitting. She lays her phone on the table, and I can see she’s set the timer to go off in less than three minutes.
When it finally dings, she goes, “I can’t look.”
“I can’t look either,” Phillip says, glancing at Danny.
“Don’t look at me. I can’t do it,” he says.
“Jennifer, will you do the honors?” Jadyn asks me.
I smile, knowing that it really is an actual honor to them.
I get up and walk slowly over to where it is sitting on the counter—doing it like I imagine I would in a movie. With drama. But when I read the results, I forget about acting and just scream out, “Pregnant!”
Jadyn plops into the chair behind her in shock. I’m thinking it was a good thing the chair was there. She takes a deep breath in through her nose, and I can tell she’s trying hard not to completely lose it. I’m ready to jump up and down with joy. If I were pregnant, I’d be sprinting around the house in circles like Angel and Winger do, tossing up a toy and chasing it over and over in happiness.
But I come to realize as I watch Phillip stride toward Jadyn, drop to his knees in front of her, take her hand, and gaze into her eyes, that there’s more to it.
The emotion I see in their faces isn’t just happiness. It’s a huge jumble of things—one of which is fear.
And I understand that, all of a sudden, it became real, not just an idea. That there’s an actual little baby growing inside her and that alone can be fraught with difficulty. Things like miscarriages, birth defects, and stillborns. Complications. I realize being pregnant isn’t just about having a baby; it’s a bigger process. Probably a more important process of learning what pure love really is. How I suppose you have to be cautiously optimistic until you get to a certain point in your pregnancy, and even then—as Phillip and Jadyn well know after their experience with Chase’s birth—outside sources can also affect your baby’s life. I suppose it’s like how in your own life, the second you feel like you have it all under control, something happens, and you suddenly realize you don’t. Only this is on a bigger level because it isn’t about you. It’s about this tiny, sweet, little creature totally depending on you. Your baby.
I’m both lost in thought and mesmerized by the love that radiates between Phillip and Jadyn when Danny steps in front of me and wipes the tears from my face.
He kisses me on the nose.
“Someday, that’s going to be us,” he whispers.
“Do you really think so?” I ask, more tears forming from sheer happiness.
“Yeah, I do.” He gives me a naughty smirk. “Although it might require a lot of trying.”
And I can’t help but laugh through my tears.
“I think we need another toast,” Phillip says as we gather back around the island and grab our beers. “Here’s to my beautiful wife, the newest edition to our family, and to the fact that I’m going to be a stay-at-home dad this time around.”
Jadyn’s eyes get huge again. “You did it?”
“I’d say he did,” Danny quips.
“Yes,” Phillip tells Jadyn, ignoring Danny’s comment. “Tripp agreed to all my terms, including the increased price. The board approved the deal via conference call, and Tripp and I signed it this afternoon. Six months.”
“We don’t have enough bedrooms,” Jadyn says.
“The kids can share, and before you know it, Chase will be going off to college anyway.”
“Don’t say that!” Jadyn says. “He’s staying with us forever.”
She looks at Phillip, and they both laugh.
“Nah,” Phillip says.
“But we might need to build an addition,” Jadyn continues. “We do have that attic space. Maybe we add a third floor?”
“Whatever you think is best, darling.”
Jadyn playfully smacks him on the shoulder. “Oh no, don’t you start with that bullshit already.”
“Is that bullshit?” I ask Danny.
“Phillip says that a lot when Jadyn is pregnant,” Danny replies with a laugh. “Keeps him out of trouble. We haven’t finished the toast,” he reminds us. “Jennifer and I are starting to feel stupid with our bottles still up in the air. To all of it and all of you.”
“Hear, hear,” we all say.
“Let’s go out for dinner,” Jadyn suggests. “We need to celebrate. Get dressed up. Let me call the sitter and see if I can bribe her into canceling her Saturday night plans and coming over for a few hours.” She makes a quick call, ups the ante for the babysitter, and hangs up. “Negotiating isn’t as fun when you’re desperate, but she agreed. Let’s invite Marcus and Madison to go with us. No one else will be able to get sitters this late.” She turns to me, explaining, “Their youngest is a sophomore at Notre Dame. Smart girl. Engineering major. Since she left for college, they have been traveling and enjoying the empty-nest life.”
“Our empty-nest life just got pushed back by seven more years,” Phillip quips.
“How does this happen?” I ask.
“Well,” Phillip says with a grin.
“I don’t mean how, but, like, are you not on birth control of some kind?”
“No, we chart my ovulation with an app, and during that time, we use condoms,” Jadyn says.
“But there was a recent night after she came home from California after being gone all week, and she was going to look it up, and I didn’t give her the opportunity,” Phillip admits.
“Seven years of lost empty-nesting for five minutes of pleasure,” she murmurs.
Phillip narrows his eyes at her.
She rolls her. “Okay, it might have been more than five minutes. After the first time.”
I laugh. I love these two.
Jadyn turns to me. “Jennifer, do you have any dressy dresses to wear with you?”
“Uh, not really. Just that orange one. But I’d probably freeze.”
“Okay, you come with me,” she says. “Danny, call Marcus and see if they can join us. Phillip, call Trio’s and use your magic to get us a private room for seven o’clock. Tell them we’ve got a famous friend in town, and we want Kat to wait on us because she will be discreet.”
Phillip and Danny both stand at mock attention and snap a salute to her.
She grabs my arm with one hand, leading me toward her bedroom, while she reaches back and flips the guys off with the other.
I’m wearing a very sexy black dress and think I look damn good, but whatever Hollywood sparkle I might have doesn’t compare to Jadyn’s glow tonight. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen her so happy.
And that makes me happy. She’s been such an incredible friend.
When we get to the restaurant, I’m introduced to Marcus and his wife, Madison. Marcus is a big guy, and I have to look up at him. He’s tall, well over six feet of lean black muscle. Madison has gorgeous, smooth skin and a riot of long, dark curls. Her tall frame makes me wonder if she ever modeled.
“I used to protect your pretty boy’s ass,” Marcus whispers, kissing my cheeks in greeting.
“I heard that,” Danny says. “Marcus was one of the best offensive linemen I’ve ever had the pleasure of playing with.”
“So, what’s up?” Madison asks as we take our seats. “We usually don’t get invited to dinner on such short notice.”
“We decided it was a good night to celebrate. It’s not public knowledge yet, but Phillip sold his company today.”
“Congratulations, man,” Marcus says to him.
We sit down at an intimate table in a room surrounded by an ornate wine cellar. Champagne is quickly poured, and toasts are made.
“Jadyn,” Marcus says, “you’re not really drinking your champagne. You not that excited about having Phillip home all day?”
“I’m very excited about that. Especially because we got another surprise today.” She raises her glass and toasts again. “To all the fun little surprises in life.”
“The kind that grow up,” Phillip adds.
“You’re pregnant?” Madison exclaims.
“Better be careful,” Marcus says to me. “There must be something in the water.”
I study my glass. “I don’t see anything.”
Marcus laughs. “It’s a saying, meaning you could get pregnant, too. If you’re not careful.”
I can’t stop the grin that immediately forms on my face at the thought. “Oh well, I should get to drinking then.”
“Wait,” Jadyn says to Madison. “Are you pregnant, too?”
“Yep,” Madison says. “You’re all happy about it, which is great. Me? I cried and cried. We just got our life back. The kids are happy in college. We can go anywhere and do anything we want, whenever we want. It’s like being a teen again. Only with the means to do things. We even went to Coachella this spring and did the whole VIP experience. I felt twenty again. And he had a vasectomy, for gosh sake. It failed. Ten years later.”
“What do you mean, it failed?” I ask.
“I’m so virile that things grew back together,” Marcus says proudly.
“Are you excited now?” Jadyn asks. “How far along are you?”
“Ten weeks. I could technically be a grandmother. I mean, I hope my daughters don’t get pregnant at this stage in their lives, but the point is, I could be. I’m forty-four years old. But now that it’s sunk in that it’s actually happening and we saw the first ultrasound, I will admit that I’m coming around a bit.”
“I’m excited,” Marcus says. “We were young the first time. In college. I was working and playing football. Taking care of our babies really fell on her. I’m gonna spoil this one rotten. And I’m kinda hoping for a boy this time. I figure he’ll be a hell of a football player. I mean, talk about being able to get through a defense!”
“You mean, because he got through …” I spin my finger around, point downward, and then start laughing.
“So, how about you, Miss Jennifer?” Marcus asks. “Are there any babies in your future? Danny always wanted more kids.”
His question stops me in my tracks. Danny isn’t divorced yet. No one really even knows about our relationship, and I’m sure that’s why we are in a private room tonight, but I can’t deny that I want children.
“I hope there are babies in my future,” I finally say.
“Your future?” Danny says. “You mean, our future. She means, our future,” he reiterates.
“So, you have a future?” Madison asks cautiously.
Danny tells them the story of how we met, the instant attraction, why he ended it, and how we met again.
“That’s so romantic, and it sounds meant to be,” Madison says. “But how will it work? I mean, with your life in LA?”
Danny starts to answer, but I cut him off. She asked me.
“To be blunt, I’ve done well enough that I don’t really need to work. I’ve been smart with my money, and Troy and I were not married and never commingled assets. I can be choosy about any projects I decide to do. I purchased a home in LA last week where Danny and the kids and any future kids would be comfortable, and although I’m very much in love with him, still, Danny and I are very new. And, sometimes, it feels too easy.”
“Love should be effortless,” Madison says dreamily. “That’s what my mother told me.”
Marcus shakes his head. “She was wrong about that. Love isn’t easy.”
“Actually, I disagree. Vehemently,” Madison says. “I’ve been in love with Marcus since I sat down next to him in math class my junior year of high school. Our love was always easy. We fell hard and fast, and it was beautiful. The world makes love hard. Like when he got offered a scholarship to play football at a college I hadn’t applied to. When I got pregnant our sophomore year. We’ve been incredibly blessed though. Somehow—actually, somehow isn’t correct. I know exactly how—because of our love, we made the right decisions. We worked together. And if your love is as strong as it seems just sitting here with the two of you—I swear, you both are practically glowing from love.”
Phillip coughs and says, “Or the sex.”
“You’ll figure it all out, too,” Madison finished.
“Thank you,” I say sincerely to her. “I think we will.”
Once dinner is over and we’re waiting for dessert and coffee, Madison and I both head to the ladies’ room.
“I didn’t want to say this in front of Danny, but no matter what shenanigans Lori tries to pull—and trust me, she will if word gets out—you can’t let her get to you or between you and Danny. She’s like the evil lord you battled in your Sector movies, only she’ll smile to your face at the same time she’s pulling out her dagger to stab you in the back. We love Danny. I haven’t seen him look so happy—maybe ever. Don’t let the evil one ruin anything. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“And if you need any backup, you let me know.”
“Thank you. I will.”
We get back to the table just as a delectable pumpkin spice cheesecake is being served. I’m ready to dig in when my phone lights up. I glance down to read a text from Jason.
Jason: Call me. It’s urgent.
Jason reminds me of the boy who cried wolf. To him, everything is an emergency—from an amp going out at a show to a flight getting canceled.
But another text follows. This one from Damon. I quickly scan the text, hoping everything is okay. He, Devaney, and Chase were allowed to hang out at the Diamonds’ house while the babysitter is next door with the younger Mackenzie children.
Damon: Just got an internet notification about Troy. They are saying he maybe committed suicide. Thought you’d want to know right away.
Below his text is a link to an online tabloid. I click it and read.
Breaking News: Paramedics were called to the scene of the Malibu home of Troy Malone for a suspected suicide. Troy was taken to CS Memorial Hospital. No word on his condition. The charismatic, international DJ and his longtime love, award-winning actress Jennifer Edwards, recently called it quits after photos of him in an Amsterdam brothel surfaced.
“Oh my gosh,” I blurt out. “I have to go!”
“What’s wrong?” Danny asks.
I hand him my phone, so he can read the news. He does so and then calmly sets the phone down.
“No, you don’t.”
“I don’t what?” I ask, confused.
“You don’t have to go to California. You told him it was over.”
I stand up and slam my napkin on the table. “You know if you heard that about Lori, you’d go.”
He looks up at the ceiling, thinking. “No. I don’t think I would. Richard would be the one to go.”
“She’s the mother of your children!” I argue.
“And if the children wanted to go see her, I would take them.”
“You’re not that coldhearted, Danny. You just aren’t confident enough in our relationship to let me go.” I look at him sadly. “And I’m sorry, but that’s on you.”
I pick up my bag and make my way to the exit.
Jadyn reacts first, coming after me and catching me at the door.
“What do you want?” I snarl at her.
She pulls me into a hug and says nothing. I fall into her arms and start sobbing, my emotions everywhere.
“I don’t want to leave Danny or this wonderful night. I don’t want to see Troy, but—”
“You have to go,” Jadyn says. “I understand.”
“Why doesn’t Danny?”
“His heart is on his sleeve with you.”
“And mine’s not? I’m so afraid he’s going to change his mind about me.”
“It’s new, Jennifer. It will get better. Everyone feels vulnerable early in a relationship. It’s natural. Come on. I’ll drive you to the airport while I call our pilots.”
When she drops me off, I tentatively walk up the steps to the plane. Everything in me wants to rush back to the restaurant and be with Danny, but I have to go.
It doesn’t help that I’m feeling guilty, like this is all my fault. That my not doing what Jason suggested and pretend I would marry Troy to get him into rehab caused this reaction. He told me he couldn’t live without me, and now, he’s trying to prove it. Even worse is, I don’t know his condition.
One pilot and the stewardess have arrived, but we’re waiting on the other pilot as I take my seat and get buckled in.
I read the texts, scan the internet for further information—don’t find any—and then call Jason.
“Are you on your way?” he asks, his voice sounding stressed.
“Yes, I am.”
“Thank goodness,” he says.
“How bad is it?” I dare to ask.
Jason’s voice cracks with the kind of emotion I don’t think I’ve ever heard from him, and I immediately know the situation isn’t good. “It’s bad, Jennifer. Really bad. He took a bunch of pills. I found him unresponsive with a suicide note in his hand. His lips were blue.”
“What did it say?”
“I didn’t read it. I just saw it was for you and knew what he had done. You can read it when you get here. And please pray he makes it.”
I cry during most of the three-and-a-half-hour flight. I’m afraid when I get there that Troy will be dead.
That it will be my fault.
I reminisce about the good times we had.
How he swept me off my feet—literally—when we danced at Keatyn and Aiden’s wedding. He was so sweet and poetic. He’d write snippets of songs when we were together, always whispering them into my ear with a different melody, the tune sometimes coming to him before the words were complete.
I remember the first Twisted Dreams concert I went to. They were finishing a UK tour and their last gig was at Wembley Stadium in London. I’ll never forget the fans screaming the band members’ names. Most crushed on front man, Damon Moran, but a large number crushed on the handsome drummer.
And he was mine.
He called me up onstage that night and confessed his love for me. It was almost like a proposal, and the crowd went crazy. After the show, he took me to a club where he DJed the rest of the night. I’d been to plenty of clubs, but I’d never seen anyone so masterfully handle a crowd. Troy could slow them down and whip them up into a frenzy depending on the mix of music, and it made me a little awestruck. I was already in love with him, but that night just solidified that love and highlighted his brilliant talent.
And, really, it was that talent—an unreserved ability for him to reside in the moment—that would ultimately lead to our downfall.
His downfall, I think, wondering if he’s still even alive.
It’s not the first time Troy has overdosed, but it’s the first time he has done it with intention. The first time he left a note. The first time he took a drug not as a cocktail to keep going, but rather to purposefully end his life.
When we fought about his addiction, he would tell me to stay out of it. That I wasn’t his mother or keeper. That it wasn’t about me. That his relationship with drugs and alcohol was personal. He truly believed he was different—that the drugs didn’t control him. He believed he used them medicinally, just like someone who took an over-the-counter pain reliever for a sprained ankle.
He talked about his usage in such a confident way that, for a while, I believed him. He convinced me that he didn’t have a problem because he knew exactly what he was doing.
When he got drunk, he’d ask me, “What’s wrong with that? We all do it once in a while.”
He pointed out that even me, the girl whose father was an alcoholic, would tie one on occasionally. And, yes, while I did do shots backstage after I won an Academy Award and was so tipsy that I kissed everyone in the vicinity, it was due to the fact that I was a lightweight. I’ve always had a two-drink limit, and I had three shots in quick succession that night. I lost control, Troy said. That it was understandable. That it was just for fun. But he also told me that was where he differed from my father. My father drank because he had to. Troy said he drank because he wanted to.
It wasn’t until later that it all spiraled out of control.
When we land, I thank the pilots profusely, get their cell numbers, and ask that they stay here for a few hours until I can get a read on the situation. They assure me that they are on call for me until Monday morning when they need to fly back to pick up Jadyn for a Monday night flight back to LA for her weekly hotel update meeting.
A car is waiting for me at the jetway.
On the ride to the hospital, I check my phone.
No texts from Danny.
No texts from Jason or Troy.
There is, however, a group text from Damon, Devaney, and Chase. They have apparently been searching the internet for updates on Troy, have forwarded different articles, and are speculating on his status.
It’s really sweet of them. It feels like they are trying to support me. I appreciate it and tell them so.
I decide to read the articles.
One tabloid has reported his passing, causing the hashtag #RIPDJTroy to trend on social media, but Devaney says she doesn’t think it’s true.
I’m praying that it’s not.
As we pull into the hospital parking lot, I brace myself for what I will learn about Troy’s condition. But as we get closer to the entrance, I see that even though it’s midnight, the paparazzi are out in full force.
I want to tell the driver to turn around. To take me somewhere I don’t have to face the harsh judgment of the cameras, but I need to get inside.
I open the car door and am bombarded with a barrage of shouted questions.
“Jennifer, Jennifer, what took you so long to get here?”
“If Troy survives, does this mean you’re getting back together?”
“Social media accounts are saying Troy is dead. What have you heard?”
“Where have you been hiding out?”
“Who made your dress?”
I look down at myself. Trying on party dresses in Jadyn’s closet seems like so long ago.
“Jennifer, will you come back and update us on Troy? We’re all really worried about him.”
This from a woman reporter who is particularly cutthroat even though she sounds very sincere.
I march past them and enter the hospital where a security guard recognizes me and tells me a room number.
“Is that the ICU?” I ask.
The guard chuckles under his breath as he shakes his head.
I go to the room, wondering could possibly be funny at a time like this.
And the second I walk in, I understand.
Troy is sitting up in bed, laughing and playing cards with Jason.
“What the fuck?” I yell. You have got to be kidding me. I came all this way to find the asshole sitting up in bed, laughing?
“Jennifer, thank goodness you are here,” Jason says to me. “As you can see, our boy is going to be all right.”
“He’s not my boy,” I say to Jason and then turn to Troy. “People think you’re dead.”
Troy lets out a wry smile. “I wanted to be dead, Eddie. I wrote you a note and everything. Seeing you here now though makes me happy I survived.”
“I’ll let the two of you chat in private,” Jason says, quickly slipping out of the room.
“I can’t believe I flew all the way here for you,” I mutter.
Troy motions for me to come closer to the bed. I’m afraid if I do, I’ll punch him right in the face.
I stand rooted in my spot.
He holds up a piece of paper. “This is for you. I didn’t intend to ever wake up again.”
“Well, you didn’t do a very good job of it, I guess,” I say.
“Wow, you’re really pissed at me, aren’t you?”
“As a matter of fact, I am. I left in the middle of a dinner with friends, rushed to the airport, got on a plane, and flew here, wondering the whole time if you were dead or alive. I didn’t know what I would find when I got here. Turns out, things aren’t quite as dire as Jason led me to believe.”
“I wanted to die, Jennifer. Apparently, I can’t even do that right. But you will be happy to know that once I leave here, I’ll be going straight to rehab. Thirty days. I feel like I’ve been given another chance. I survived. I’m not going to waste it.” He shakes the piece of paper at me. “Please come and take this.”
I march over and pull the note from his hands.
“Read it. It’s my apology to you.”
“You’ve already apologized, Troy. I told you the last time we spoke that you had to show me you’ve changed because your apologies mean nothing. They are empty promises that your actions never back up. I don’t want to read this. I won’t read this. I. Am. Done.”
I fold the paper, then rip the thing in half with force, and then hand it back to him.
“You are in charge of your life now. I sincerely hope you do something good with it,” I say, marching out of the room and heading straight to the hospital front door.
I’m on my way out when Jason comes rushing up next to me.
“He’s going to rehab,” he says happily.
“Don’t ever call me again!” I narrow my eyes at him in anger. I’m so mad that I can barely stand myself. I grab him by the arm and drag him out of the hospital entrance where the paparazzi are waiting.
“Jennifer! Jennifer! How’s Troy?”
“You should ask his manager about that,” I say, walking away and hailing a cab.
I’m barely in the car before I’m calling a crew to let them know I want to go home. Right now.
