The best part of waking up this morning was having Phillip in bed with me. We lounged in bed, ordered room service, tanned on the beach, snorkeled, parasailed, and then came back to our room to get ready for dinner.
When I’m dressed and ready, Phillip takes my hand and says, “Let’s sit down.”
My mind immediately flashes to the hospital. I can see the waiting room. I can smell the popcorn. I can picture the doctor telling me to sit down. I can hear him say that my dad isn’t going to make it.
What horrible thing is Phillip going to tell me?
I try to prepare myself. He’s breaking up with me. He has cancer. He’s joining the Peace Corps. He’s going to become a priest. He doesn’t really want to marry me. He’s in love with someone else. He’s really gay. He found out he has a baby. He made a mistake.
I suck in a deep breath and hold it in my chest. I don’t say anything. I just squint my eyes at him and try to shut out whatever pain is coming.
“Breathe,” he says. He tilts his head and studies my face. “It’s good news.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, I didn’t know what you were gonna say. I just sorta flashed back to that night at the hospital when the doctor made me sit down and told me about Dad.”
Pain flashes across Phillip’s eyes. He reaches out and runs the back of his hand across my cheek. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
I smile at him, grab his hand, and kiss it. “It’s okay. So, tell me your good news.”
His eyes brighten. “You know how we recently signed that big deal at work?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, part of that deal is that we have to open an office in Kansas City. That means, both Dad and I are going to have to spend more time there.”
“That’s exciting! And cool, too, since Danny and Lori are there.”
“Well, there’s more.” He has a huge smile plastered across his face, and I can tell he’s really excited about all this. “So, because of this, I got a promotion. I’m going to run the Kansas City office.”
I throw my arms around Phillip’s neck. “I’m so proud of you!” I have to tease him a bit though, so I say, “Must be rough, having your dad be your boss. So, wait. Does that mean you’ll be traveling a lot?”
“Um, well, no. We kinda need to move there.”
“Seriously? That’d be so cool! I’d love to live close to Danny and Lori! But jobs aren’t easy to find. Like, with the economy, a lot of people I graduated with still don’t have jobs. I’d have to find a job first, I guess.”
“You already have a job there, if you want it.”
Phillip’s grin has turned into a sneaky smirk.
I can’t help but smile back at him. “Why don’t you tell me everything?”
He’s practically bouncing with energy and starts talking fast. “The first thing we have to do is find temporary offices. We’ve already bought some land, and we’re going to build our corporate headquarters on it. You can design the whole thing from the ground floor up. Wouldn’t that be awesome? We’d be working together!”
I stare at Phillip for a few beats. Design my very own building? Is he serious? That’s, like, my dream!
“How long have you known about all this?”
“It all just fell together in the last week, Princess. How ’bout we discuss the details at dinner? We can negotiate your pay over some good wine.”
We go to dinner, eat some food, and drink some great wine. Phillip keeps talking excitedly about his new job, about the new building, about living close to Danny and Lori, and I can’t help myself; I get really excited, too. It would be cool to design a building on my own. That’s what I went to school for, but at the job I have now, it’d probably be years before I ever got something like this as my own project.
Phillip assures me that I’d have lots of freedom; that he wouldn’t boss me around; and that, once the project is done, I could find a job there and start my own business or whatever I wanted to do.
Before I know it, I’m agreeing to it all.
After dinner, we walk along the beach for a while. It’s amazing how just being together, holding hands, and not saying a word can be so romantic. I feel like we’re the only two people on Earth.
We find an empty hammock and lie together in the moonlight.
“Talk to me about our wedding,” Phillip says. His body is always so warm, and with his arms wrapped around me, I barely feel the cool ocean breeze. “Do you want a big wedding or a small one?”
“I kinda think I’d like a big wedding. All our friends. A fun party.”
“I agree. What about colors?”
“I’m not sure. Do you have any ideas?”
“Just please don’t make me wear a white tuxedo. I think black looks best.”
“I like black, too, but black makes it more formal.”
“I think a wedding should be formal, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do.” I sigh. There’s something I need to tell Phillip, but it’s gonna be hard to talk about. “Phillip, I have a confession. I kinda lied when I said I’d never planned my dream wedding. Well, I didn’t really lie; I never planned it. It’s just that there was this time when my mom and I talked about my wedding when I was little. I just always sorta assumed that’s how it would be.”
Phillip rolls in the hammock and faces me. “Tell me about it.”
“We were at a wedding. I was young, maybe eight or nine. Mom pulled me on her lap and said, ‘Someday, you’re going to get married just like this.’
“And, since then, that’s how I’ve always thought my wedding would be. The wedding and the reception were held in a big ballroom. I remember being impressed by the huge, sparkly chandeliers. I told her I wanted candles in my bedroom like the ones flickering on our table. She told me I couldn’t have candles in my bedroom, but I could have them at my wedding. She told me candlelight was romantic, and my wedding would be romantic because the day would be all about love. I told her the bride looked like a princess, and she told me that, someday, when I married my prince, I would, too. I told her I wanted to marry Daddy. I remember the way she laughed. I loved her laugh. She told me I couldn’t marry him because he was her prince. That I would find my own prince someday. I remember there were gorgeous flowers on the tables and a huge cake that had as many layers as my age. I think it was eight. We ate cake, and then my dad scooped me up and danced with me.”
I’ll never forget dancing with my dad at that wedding. The way he twirled me around, the smile on his handsome face, how he seemed so big and strong compared to me, how I always felt safe when I was with him.
“That sounds beautiful.” Phillip closely studies my face and then runs his fingertip across my cheek and feels my tears. “Are you crying? You never cry. The last time I saw you cry was the night of the funeral.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I try not to cry. I want my parents to be proud of me, so I have to be strong. And you’ve seen me cry. I cried on the beach in Cancun.”
“You were drunk.”
“I also cried onstage at our engagement party.”
He runs his fingers through my hair. I lean closer to his neck and smell him. Phillip always smells so dreamy.
“Twice in four years.” He kisses me softly and says, “You know, you don’t have to be so strong. Especially with me.”
He’s so sweet. I feel so incredibly lucky. Really, that’s what makes me feel like crying. I love him so much, and I’m still so afraid of losing him.
“You don’t have to shut your emotions away. It’s okay to feel sad. It doesn’t make you a crybaby.”
I nuzzle my face into his neck and kiss it. “I know, Phillip. I love you, and I don’t care what anyone thinks about our fast engagement. I can’t wait to marry you.”
He leans back and smiles at me. “Do you really mean that?”
“Of course I mean it.”
“Hmm, well then, maybe now would be a good time to tell you the rest of it.”
“The rest of what?”
“When we move, I want us to buy a house together.”
“Well, yeah, it wouldn’t make much sense to get separate places.”
“I also think we should be married when we buy the house.”
“But that means …”
Phillip nods his head. “Yes, that means we’d need to get married soon.”
“Really soon.”
“Yes,” he says tentatively.
I snuggle back into his shoulder and let out a content sigh. “Okay.”
“Okay?” he asks with disbelief. “You’re agreeing, just like that? No fight? No freak-out?”
I kiss his shoulder and then up the side of his neck. “I’m done freaking out, Phillip. Why would I freak out when I’ve never been happier in my life?”
Back in our room, I change into a sexy little nightie. While we’re brushing our teeth, I say to him, “You know, we still haven’t discussed what you’re going to pay me. I’m very expensive.”
He looks up and down the nightie, which is a very sheer lacy thing, as in no lady parts are being hidden, only slightly obscured. “Yeah, I figured.”
“Maybe we should discuss my salary in bed?”
“Oh, no,” he tells me seriously. “I never mix business with pleasure. And, if you’re gonna work for me, there are gonna have to be a few rules.”
“Work for you? No way. I think I need to be an independent contractor or something.”
“No go. You work for me or no deal.”
I put on my pouty face.
He smiles, smacks my butt, and winks at me. “Now, go get in bed, and we’ll discuss your career.”
I’m pretty sure I can work this to my advantage.
