This past weekend, Lori gave me a book that was written by a mom and daughter about planning the daughter’s wedding. She thought it would give me some insight as to what my mom would have been thinking and feeling if she were here with me now.
But I get more out of the book than I expected.
I’ve realized that I’ve been kinda selfish. This wedding is not just about me and Phillip. It’s really the merging together of families, and those families have dreams of their own.
So, if you’re planning a wedding someday, here’s my advice to you.
And notice that I’m giving this advice before I put my plan into action, so, that way, if this all ends up with me in a bathroom, screaming, What was I thinking?, you will do it regardless of my outcome.
I think back to when we were doing the guest list. Mrs. Mac asked me a question about our plans, and I sort of shut her down and told her that we’d tell her when we figured it out. Like she was just a guest. I realize that Phillip’s mom has probably been both dreaming about and dreading the day her precious son got married. She’s inviting her friends, and I’m sure she has something pictured in her mind about how it should be.
So, now that Phillip and I have a lot of the basics planned out, I’ve decided to ask the other important people in my life what they’d like to see happen at the wedding, ask them about their dreams for it.
Who knows? They might have some amazing ideas.
This morning, I meet Phillip’s mom at the Diamonds’ for Mrs. D’s wonderful cinnamon coffee cake.
I take my idea board and inspiration folder. I tell them about all the food Phillip and I picked out, about the rooftop ballroom, and how I want it to be romantic. I also tell them that Phillip has had about all the wedding planning he can take. He wanted a say in the things that were important to him, like food and alcohol, but the rest is just fluff to him.
I invite them to come to Kansas City with me on Thursday to meet the wedding planner and help me with the rest of the decor details. I still have to pick the flowers, the cake design, and finalize the reception decor. They are especially thrilled when I set a stack of bridal magazines in front of them and tell them to go crazy.
After that, I go in the study to talk to Mr. D.
I ask for his opinion. Ask if there’s anything he’d like to see happen at the wedding.
He thinks about it for a minute. “I know alcohol is one of the most expensive parts of a wedding, but it would be nice if there was a secret stash of good scotch for us old guys to enjoy. I’d also love to smoke a cigar in your dad’s honor.”
Phillip mentioned that a scotch and cigar bar would be so cool. Plus, I’m getting him an engraved humidor as his wedding gift, so it would be perfect.
And then it hits me. I never asked Mr. Diamond to walk me down the aisle. I was gonna ask him the night he told me he was holding my wedding money hostage. I’ve been a little mad at him since, honestly.
But I look at him. The man who’s helped me through every major crisis—from financial to what to major in. Who has gently guided me down the path to adulthood. Who has done way more than I’m sure my parents ever imagined he would when they named him executor of my trust. He treats me like his daughter. And he wants to toast my dad at my wedding.
He sees that my eyes are filling up with tears and says, “Honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you. I know it’s very hard on you, not having him here. Maybe it’s a bad idea.”
“You didn’t upset me. I think it’s a wonderful idea. I got tears in my eyes because I have a big favor to ask you, and it seems like all I ever do is ask you for favors.”
“Don’t be silly,” he says. “I loved your parents, and you know you’re like a daughter to me. I’ll always do anything in my power to help you in whatever way you need.”
I smile at him through tears. “So, does that mean you’d consider walking me down the aisle? Standing in for my dad?”
He sits there for a minute, which I have to say I appreciate. He understands the gravity of this to me.
He’s even a little choked up when he replies, “I’d be extremely honored.”
