I wake up, happy and in a good mood. I’m ready to walk out the door when Danny calls me.
I answer, “Hey, what’s up?”
“What’s going on with you?”
“Not much. I’m on my way to get a massage. Phillip wants me to relax.”
“No, I mean, the other night. What went on at the bar?”
“Did Phillip tell you about that?”
“No, Nick did.”
Oh, boy. If Nick told him, he knows everything.
“Uh, just went down to the museum. Met up with Nick. Had a few drinks. The usual. Why?”
“Jay, I swear, I don’t know how Phillip puts up with you.”
“I didn’t do anything, Danny. I really didn’t.”
“Oh, really? Let’s bring out the highlight film. You said, ‘Hear, hear,’ to hook-ups. You flirted with Bradley. You stopped texting Phillip after he asked if you wanted to sleep with the bartender. You drank way too many shots. You were grinding on Nick. You dressed up as a waitress—”
I interrupt him, “I was working. A girl called in sick; I was helping out.”
Danny ignores me. “You were flirting with the customers. You let some guy put a tip down your shirt. You went in the back room with Bradley for over four minutes. You let Phillip drink a Sex on the Stairs shot. You were feeding Bradley pizza. Am I forgetting anything?”
“Well, jeez, when you say it like that, it sounds bad.”
“It is bad, Jay.”
“I didn’t do anything wrong, Danny.”
Danny gives me a huffy sigh.
“Okay, fine. Maybe I drank too much, but I wasn’t that drunk. Like, I didn’t get sick or anything.”
“Oh, yeah, I heard about the special vodka, too.”
“Bradley’s a good guy.”
“Jay, you just got with Phillip. Don’t screw it up already. If Lori did something like that, I would’ve dragged her ass out of the bar.”
“You wouldn’t have dragged her ass anywhere. She would’ve stomped her little foot down, put her hand on her hip, and told you to chill out or go home by yourself. She did that once, remember?”
“Shut up. Yes, I remember, but it was a completely different situation.”
“Do you remember when you were in a similar situation? That night after you scored four touchdowns? When she got to the bar, and you were surrounded by girls? You were dancing and doing shots. She whispered in your ear that, if you ever wanted to see her again, you’d leave now. You ran out of the bar with your tail between your legs. You were whipped.”
“No, I was in love.”
“What would I have done if Phillip had told me to leave?”
“Jay, you’re supposed to be whipped. That’s my point. Why do you seem so determined to screw it up?”
“You didn’t have to plan a wedding, Danny. You just showed up. You dated her for over a year. I’m just a little stressed. I just needed to have a little fun. Phillip’s not mad at me, so stop worrying about it. It’s none of your business. And here I was, just thinking how nice it’d been lately. Since we aren’t living together anymore, we hardly ever fight. Just stop trying to tell me what to do. I hate it!”
“All I’m saying is, you keep doing stuff like that, you’re not gonna have to wait for the BOOM. You’re gonna trigger it yourself.”
He hangs up on me.
I hate Danny sometimes, and I especially hate him when I know he’s right.
