Lori bangs on my door at ten thirty. I’m leaning against Phillip’s naked chest while he feeds me bites of pancakes.
I get up, peek my head out the door, and whisper to Lori, “Didn’t you see the Do Not Disturb sign? That’s kinda like hanging a sock on the door. I have a boy in my bed.”
She pushes through the door. “Jade, don’t joke about something like that,” she says like I was hooking up with some random stranger the night before my wedding.
Her eyes get big when she sees Phillip. “Phillip, what are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here!”
“It’s not my fault she wanted one last single-girl fling.”
I slide back in bed to finish breakfast. “Lori, don’t act all shocked. I know you and Danny spent the night before your wedding together.”
“No, we didn’t.”
“You left early. Don’t act all innocent.”
“Okay, so maybe we spent some time together the night before, but we went to different rooms to sleep. I didn’t want him to see me the morning of the wedding. It’s bad luck, you know.”
“I think it’s good luck. I also think it’s a stupid tradition and why some brides call off their weddings at the last minute.”
“You think sleeping with them the night before will guard against cold feet?”
“Definitely. When you’re all alone the night before your wedding, you have nothing to do but think. To question yourself. Contemplate all the lifetime-commitment stuff you’re about to say.” I give Phillip’s thigh a little squeeze. “It’s hard to think about cold feet when you’ve got a hot guy in bed with you.”
“Fine, joke all you want.”
“I’m not joking at all. I’m dead serious. I’m glad Phillip spent the night with me.”
Phillip kisses my cheek, pops the last piece of bacon in his mouth, and gets out of bed. He’s only wearing boxers, so he pulls on his jeans, tosses his shirt over a broad shoulder, and picks up his shoes.
“I think I’d better leave you girls to this.”
“You’re a chicken; you know that, right?” I tell him.
After watching his sexy backside walk out the door, I turn to Lori and say, “You want some food?”
“Are you really doing okay? Like, you seem very calm.”
“Does that surprise you? I’ve always been pretty chill about stuff.”
Lori rolls her eyes at me and shakes her head. “You used to be chill about everything until you started dating Phillip. Then, you got a little dramatic. So, is there anything you need? I feel like we should be doing something.”
“I’m gonna finish eating and then take a long bath. The hairstylist doesn’t want me to wash my hair, so that’s all I have to do.”
“You seem too calm. It’s kinda scaring me.”
“Lori, I wanna marry Phillip more than anything. I’m excited, happy, and incredibly blessed. I’ve found a man who is so amazing in bed that it makes me cry.” I grab a tissue and dab at fake tears.
She slaps me on the arm. “Jade! Do you ever take anything seriously?”
“Yes, actually, I do. In all seriousness, I’m seriously blessed. Like, he’s amazing. Last night—”
“Okay, I give up. You’re calm. Danny sent me down here early because he was worried you’d be freaking out.”
“You don’t need to babysit me. I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t even have any bad dreams last night.” I grab a ceremony program off the nightstand and toss it toward her. “Take a look at this.”
She watches it float down to the ground, and as she’s leaning down to pick it up, she says, “What’s this?”
“The ceremony program.”
She looks at the front of it. The black-and-white brocade print. The purple trim. Our wedding monogram. She turns it over, flips it open, and then closes it. “It’s pretty.”
I smile. “No, you need to read it.”
“Why? I know everyone.”
“Fine, there’s something I need to tell you. If you’d read the program, you’d have seen that you’re not my matron of honor.”
She puts her hand to her chest and cries out, “What did I do wrong?”
“No, silly. I mean, we’re not calling you matron of honor.”
“Oh, you scared me, and, Jade, I’m so sorry. You didn’t have to do that. It was so selfish of me to want to change your wedding.”
“Well, I looked up the word matron in the thesaurus for a different word to use. The synonyms were even worse. Words like biddy, dowager, dame. So then, I decided to buck tradition. I searched the internet and found that other people felt the same way. I found lots of ideas. A nice one was treasured friend, but I thought that sounded like we were fifty years old. There was honor attendant, lady of honor, best woman, chick of honor, goddess of honor, homegirl, and the bride’s babe.”
She puts a hand up to her mouth to hide her giggles. “Oh, that sounds like we’re having an affair!”
“Scandalous, right? What about executive vice president in charge of bridal affairs?”
“That sounds like you’re having affairs, and I’m in charge of them!”
“That’d make you my pimp!” I laugh, but then I get serious. “So, read it.”
She opens the program and reads from it. “Lori Diamond, Hot-Ass Best Friend.” She chuckles. “Very funny. Did you have this program made just for me?”
“No, that’s the actual program. Ask Amy.”
She looks down and reads some more. “The bridesmaids are The Hotties? Danny is the Hot-Abs Best Friend? And the groomsmen are The Abbies? Ohmigawd, Jade, only you could write ass in your wedding program and get away with it!”
“Nobody reads them anyway. I think it’s awesome!”
“I think you’re crazy!”
I start to tear up for real. “You’re my best friend; you know that, right? Danny and I will always be tight, but you really are like a sister to me.”
She gets tears in her eyes, too, and gives me a big hug.
Something borrowed, something blue.
I’m ready. Ready to go meet Phillip. Ready for him to see my dress for the first time.
Mrs. Mac and Mrs. Diamond are gushing about how pretty I look.
Mrs. Mac says, “So, you haven’t followed any traditions, but we’re making you do this one. Do you have something old?”
Lori nods her head. “Yes, the satin at the base of her bouquet is from one of her mom’s bridesmaid dresses, and she has lots of new things.”
“What about something borrowed?” Mrs. Diamond asks.
I squint my eyes. “Um, I don’t have anything borrowed.”
Mrs. Mac grins. “I was kinda hoping you’d say that. I have something for you to borrow.” She rummages through her bag and pulls out a beautiful four-strand pearl bracelet. “It was my grandmother’s. Both my mother and I borrowed it for our weddings.”
“I’d be honored,” I say and hold out my arm.
She slides it on my wrist. “It looks really pretty with your dress.”
I hug her and try not to cry. Even though we went with the waterproof mascara, I don’t want to mess up my makeup right before I see Phillip. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”
Chelsea says, “What about something blue?” She has a sneaky little grin on her face.
“Hush,” I say.
“What? You don’t want Phillip’s mom to know you have a sexy something blue thong on under there?”
The only moment I really care about.
I’m standing outside a doorway at the top of a winding staircase. Phillip’s waiting for me at the bottom. I can’t see him, but I know he’s there. I can feel him.
I love the way I look. I love my dress, the way my hair is perfectly curled, the way my veil poofs out, and my soft bridal makeup.
I know brides are supposed to fret and worry about every detail of their wedding.
I’m not.
This is the only moment I really care about. I want to remember the way Phillip looks at me for the rest of my life.
I want this moment to be perfect.
Amy is getting the photographer all set up. After this, we’re going to take pictures at our fountain and a few other places around the Plaza, and then we’ll come back and do more photos with the wedding party.
Amy says, “Okay, we’re ready.”
I glide through the door. There is something about this wedding dress. I’ve never felt so beautiful or so graceful or even anywhere so close to perfect in my life.
I pause at the top of the stairs. Phillip turns around to face me. I’ve been so focused on how I would look for him that I didn’t think about what he’d look like.
Oh. My. Gosh.
He looks perfect.
Seriously.
He looks so incredibly handsome. His freshly shaven face, his perfectly styled hair, his big brown eyes, and that gorgeous smile. His black tuxedo drapes exquisitely across his tall, muscular frame. I love the way his shoulders are broad and how his chest tapers down to his lean waist. Phillip is perfect all the way down to his custom black Nikes with their purple swoosh.
I’m looking at my dream. My prince.
Our eyes meet. He looks at me so adoringly, and I can’t believe I ever doubted this. All the worrying I did. All the, Should I marry him? All the, Will we work out? All the tears.
They all come down to this very moment.
This moment when I know I’m exactly where I belong.
He holds my eyes the whole time I’m slowly descending the staircase. When I’m about to the middle, he starts walking up toward me. Like he can’t help it, like he can’t wait any longer to touch me.
Three stairs from the bottom, he touches my face and says, “You look like my dream come true.”
I get tears in my eyes because that’s exactly how I hoped I’d look.
He continues, “You look amazing, gorgeous, beautiful. I don’t even have the right words.”
“Those sound like pretty good words to me. So, do you like the dress?” I ask as he leads me down the final three stairs.
“I love the dress. My mom cut out all those mermaid dresses. I really thought that’s what you were getting. This is so much better.” He grins and tilts his head at me. “You kinda look like a princess.”
I grab the skirt of my dress and twirl it a bit. “I know. I think that’s why I loved this dress so much. But, even if I had gotten the dress all wrong, I know I did one thing right.”
“What’s that? Your shoes?”
“No, silly. You. I can’t believe I’m marrying you today. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more. And you’re looking pretty damn fine yourself. I even like the tennis shoes.”
He holds his pant leg up, so I can see them better. “I love the shoes. Everyone loves the shoes. So, turn around. Let me see this dress.”
I do a slow spin.
He looks me up and down and tilts his head. “I think you’re missing something.”
I look down at myself. “I don’t think I’m missing anything.”
“Yeah, you are. Let’s see … do you have something old?”
“Yeah, on my bouquet.” I show him the fabric.
“How about something new?”
“Pretty much everything is new.”
He scrunches up his nose, like he’s evaluating me. “Something borrowed?”
I hold out my wrist. “Your mom let me borrow the bracelet both she and her mother wore at their weddings. It was her grandma’s.”
“I don’t see anything blue.”
“You don’t get to see what’s blue until later.” I smirk.
He gives me the kind of sexy grin that makes me want to drag him up to my room.
“What about something from the groom?”
“Um, I’m wearing my engagement ring.” I hold my right hand up and show him.
“No, that doesn’t count.” He pulls a little wrapped box from behind his back and holds it in his palm in front of me.
“Phillip, you already bought my wedding band. You didn’t need to get me anything else.”
“Oh, so you don’t want it?” He snatches the box away from me.
I put my hands on the sides of his waist and pull my body close to his. “Oh, I want it.”
“You’re bad. Be good and open this.”
He puts the box back in front of me. I gently untie the ribbon, pull the small velvet jewelry box out, and open the lid.
Inside is a breathtaking pear-shaped diamond pendant. The larger center stone is surrounded by different-sized smaller diamonds set in platinum. It’s funky yet classic.
“Phillip, it’s beautiful! And it’s pear-shaped, just like my mom’s ring.”
“It is your mom’s ring. I took the diamonds out of your parents’ wedding rings and had them made into this.”
“My parents’ rings?”
It feels like all the air just got sucked out of the room. I clutch my arm to my stomach like I just got punched, cover my mouth with my hand, and start to cry. I can’t pry my eyes away from it. Their diamonds are together now, and they look so happy.
Phillip looks worried. “Oh, Princess, I’m sorry. I thought—well, you said it was sad that they just sat there in your jewelry box. I wanted you to have them with you. I saved the settings. I didn’t ruin them. We can put them back. I can fix it.”
I poke my fingers into the corners of my eyes in an attempt to stop the tears from ruining my makeup.
I can’t speak. I can’t mutter out words. My heart feels like it’s in my throat.
“It’s beautiful,” is all I manage to say.
I lean my head back and fan my face, trying to stop the tears. Phillip leans in and kisses my cheek, which makes me smile.
I reach out and touch his face. “Phillip, I’m so touched. I adore it. I’m trying really hard not to cry here, but …” I lose the tear battle.
Phillip pulls a hankie out of his pocket and hands it to me. I dab my eyes with it.
Then, I look at it and laugh. “Your hankie has our wedding monogram on it!”
“Amy seriously thinks of everything.”
We both laugh.
I clutch my chest. “This necklace, I never would’ve thought of doing something like this. Thank you. And to get to wear their wedding diamonds, like, today, on my wedding day—it’s amazing. You’re amazing. I think I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”
“I thought it was the universe,” he teases.
I laugh and dab away the rest of the tears while he puts the necklace on me.
We went all over the Plaza with the photographer and took a bunch of great photos in front of all the fountains and the cool old buildings.
We’re in the limo, heading back to the hotel.
“Hey, we just passed the hotel,” I say.
“Amy and I have a little surprise,” Phillip says. “We thought it might make for some cool photos.”
The driver pulls up to a park. Phillip pulls me out of the limo and leads me down a snowy path. We round the corner, and I cover my mouth.
“Oh my gosh, Phillip. Swings!”
And not just any swings. Amy had these swings decorated. The chains have garlands running down them, and there are purple ribbons hanging from the snow-covered trees. It’s beautiful.
“Come on!” I grab Phillip’s hand like I used to when we were little and drag him across the snow.
I can’t wait to see these pictures. I even change out of the purple UGGs I’ve been wearing out in the snow. The photographer takes photos of Phillip pushing me on the swing, so that you can see the I do! I wrote on the bottom of my shoes. I’m pretty sure it will be my favorite picture ever.
Mind if we have some privacy?
It’s almost time!
The girls just left to get lined up for the walk down the aisle. I’m getting my makeup touched up when Danny strolls in.
He always looks so handsome in a suit.
“You look handsome, Danny.”
“I had to come tell you how beautiful you look. Really, Jay, you look amazing. Hard to believe the raggedy little girl who punched me in the face could grow up to look like this.” He gives me a big hug and gets misty-eyed. “I love you.”
I tear up, too. “I love you, too.”
The makeup artist says, “Don’t cry. We just got your makeup all fixed.”
Danny gives the makeup artist his dazzling grin, probably because he knows any girl will let him do anything he wants in hopes of seeing that grin just one more time. Then, he says to her, “Mind if we have some privacy?”
The makeup artist flashes me an irritated look. Like it’s my fault. She probably thinks I’m getting ready to have a pre-wedding romp with him. Or, at least, I know that’s what she’s fantasizing about. Only she’d be the bride.
Danny shuts the door, raises his eyebrows up and down at me, and gives me his Devil Danny grin.
“What? What’d you do?”
“Nothing.” He points his thumb toward the door. “You know, she probably thinks we’re having sex.”
I giggle. “Well, you are the best man.”
“Come on, baby, just one last time? He’ll never know,” he says loudly to the door.
The makeup artist probably has her ear up to it.
He whispers in my ear, “Maybe you should make some appropriate noises. Then, we’ll walk back out, and I’ll be zipping up my pants.”
I laugh and smack his shoulder. “You’re so bad.”
He laughs with me, but then his face gets serious. “So, I have something to give you.” His voice gets that aw-shucks sound to it. The sound that has drawn so many people to adore him. That slight Southern twang he can’t seem to get rid of. “I want you to have good luck today. Anyone else would laugh me out of the room if I gave them this, but I know you’ll understand.”
I nod my head as he reaches in his pocket.
“I’m only letting you borrow this. Like, you cannot lose it. But I wanted you to have it for today.”
He hands me a black Adidas bicep band.
“Really? Your bicep band? This is practically a state treasure!” In my hand is the sweatband that Danny has worn for every game since he won his first collegiate game.
“Today’s your big game, Jay. I thought you should wear it.”
“Danny …” I can’t even say anything.
You’d think Danny just gave me the Queen of England’s heirloom tiara. I know how Danny is with his luck. The year they went undefeated and won the national championship, he wouldn’t let anyone wash his game socks.
“I promise to take good care of it.” I wrap it around the base of my bouquet. “The black even goes with my wedding colors.”
I throw my arms around him and give him another hug.
“I can’t believe my two best friends are getting married today. You really are good, aren’t you? You don’t seem the slightest bit nervous.”
“I’m not. I love him, Danny.”
“And it’s thanks to me that you’re together; you know that, right?”
“No, it’s not.”
“Jay, we’ll be sitting in rocking chairs at the old folks’ home, and I’m still going to be reminding you of how I told you he was getting serious with that Moaning Monica chick. It was Lori’s idea, but I’m the one who pulled it off. I know that’s what made you attack him. Admit it.”
“You’re right. Although I’m pretty sure it’s the first time you’ve been right about anything.”
He opens the door, looks up and down the hall, and pretends to see if the coast is clear. He says, “Sup,” to the makeup artist and then looks down at his fly. “Shit, that would have been bad,” he says and pretends to zip his pants.
I follow him into the hallway.
He smacks my butt, like I’m getting ready to do the tunnel walk. “Go get ’em, Jay.”
Every detail. Every thought.
I’m holding Mr. Diamond’s arm while waiting to walk down the aisle. The ceremony is decorated so perfectly. Guests are sitting in white Chiavari chairs. There are huge glass hurricanes placed down the aisle with pale candles flickering inside them. The aisle runner is black-and-white damask. Even Pastor John, who I wanted to burn in effigy just a few short weeks ago, looks perfect, standing at the end of the aisle.
My bridesmaids look beautiful, wearing their ice-purple dresses and carrying pale pink-and-purple bouquets. The groomsmen look handsome in their black tuxedos. Their deep purple boutonnieres and custom Nikes add pops of color.
One by one, the bridesmaids walk down the aisle.
When it’s time for the flower girls, I can’t help but tear up. The flower girls are wearing the most adorable blush-colored dresses with tutu skirts. Their hair is done up in curly little buns. They’re each carrying a floral-covered magic wand, but it’s what’s on their backs that make me cry.
Each girl is wearing white feather angel wings. The wings are decorated with halos of pale roses and purple lavender.
Our way to honor my parents.
Phillip tried to find some way to incorporate angels into our ceremony. We looked and looked but couldn’t find anything but cheap angel charms. Mr. Mac did some kind of magic Google search and found a photo of an angel flower girl. He printed it out, rolled it up, and put it in my Christmas stocking. I cried then, too, because I knew it was just so perfect.
We’ve left the front row, opposite the Macs, empty on purpose. During the ceremony, we’ll pause in silent remembrance. Phillip and I will walk down to their empty seats and place the two dried roses I saved from the funeral on their chairs. I’m so glad we’re recording our wedding. I want to remember every detail. Every thought.
Mr. Diamond interrupts those thoughts. “I want you to look at Phillip and tell me why I should let you walk down this aisle. Because I know, if your dad were here and you had even a shred of doubt about marrying him, he would tell you it’s okay to walk away.”
“I don’t wanna walk away.”
“Honey, you broke up with him just this week. Gave him back the ring. If you go up there, you’ll be married. You won’t be able to just break up next week.”
I give him a flippant response. “Sure I can. Isn’t that why we had him sign a prenup?”
He says, “Not funny. I’m serious. Are you sure?”
“You know, I kinda hated you for it, but thanks for making me go through counseling. I did need it. I wasn’t allowing myself to feel. I think it just hurt too much, but I’ve realized that’s no way to live. I want to walk down that aisle because I love Phillip. With every single bit of my heart.”
“I’m proud of you, and I’m glad you’re finally dealing with it. I also have to tell you that it means a lot to me to walk you down the aisle, to be able to stand in for your dad.”
I give him a hug and say seriously, “There’s no one else I would’ve asked.”
Lori takes her place at the altar, and I catch another glimpse of Phillip.
God, he looks so handsome.
Our eyes meet, and those eyes make me melt for the millionth time.
He grins just as the wedding processional starts playing.
My emotions swell inside me. Mr. D has to literally hold me back because all I want to do is pick up my skirt and run as fast as I can down the aisle.
I can’t wait to marry that boy.
The boy I’ve loved my whole life.
The boy who knows what a freak I am and who loves me in spite of it.
I smile and walk slowly down the aisle, like I’m supposed to, and take Phillip’s hands.
When this is over, I’ll be his wife.
Above our head is a hanging altar made of white branches. It’s adorned with purple flowers and dripping with crystals. The branches remind me of the trees we used to climb as kids.
Our wedding is a blur of scriptures, songs, and poems. Before I know it, it’s time to say our vows. Phillip and I face each other and hold hands.
“Phillip David Mackenzie, I love you. I love how you’ve always been there for me. How you think you need to protect me. How you make me coffee every morning. How you always know exactly what I need. How, when I lay my head on your shoulder, I can fall asleep in a heartbeat. I love that you’ve called me Princess since I was ten, and I love how you can practically read my mind. I love the way you look at me and how your smile lights up a whole room.
“When I was little, I used to tell my parents I was gonna marry a prince. They told me I was silly, and I should marry you. Little did we know, we were both right. For a long time, I didn’t think my prince existed, but then I realized he’d been standing next to me my whole life.
“Thank you for believing in us, even when I wasn’t so sure. Thank you for loving me, even when I’m stubborn and convinced I’m never wrong. Thank you for making me believe true love, the fairy-tale kind, actually exists. It will be my extreme honor to spend the rest of my life with you. To cherish you, to love you, and to be yours forever.”
Danny hands me the ring, and I gently slide it on Phillip’s finger.
“With this ring, I promise to not freak out over the trivial stuff, to trust in our love, to not be so stubborn, to always listen to you, to always smell the roses with you, to laugh with you, to adore you, to dream with you, and to love you with my whole heart. For as long as I’m lucky enough to have you.”
Phillip’s eyes are glistening, and he’s grinning at me. Phillip has always grinned at me, but this is different. The depth of happiness we’re both feeling, the things we’re publicly saying to each other, make this feel different and very special. I can’t wait to hear the vows he wrote for me.
“Jadyn James Reynolds, I love you. I loved growing up with you. I loved fighting you with swords and climbing trees with you. I really loved watching you end relationships with all the dumb boys you dated and how you’d always run to me for comfort. I love how I’m the first person you call when you need someone. I love how, all our lives, no matter where we are or who we’re with, whether we’re all alone or in a crowd, when you flash that little grin at me, I know exactly what you’re thinking. I love the way you look at me, like I’m the only guy in the world, and how, when I hold you, I feel like I could conquer that world.
“I asked you to marry me when we were ten, and I’m here today, making good on that promise. No one has ever compared to you. You’ve always been my world. You’re my best friend, my love, my life. My Princess.”
I’m trembling as Danny places my wedding ring in the palm of Phillip’s hand.
And not because I’m scared.
I’m overcome with emotion.
So many emotions that I don’t think I could even name them all. I just look at Phillip through happy tears and smile.
Phillip slides the band on my left ring finger. The finger every girl dreams of having a prince slide a ring on. The finger that’s supposed to connect straight to your heart.
“When we were kids, I used to pretend to be your knight in shining armor, and now, with this ring, I promise to be the man to protect you, to cherish you, to support your wild ideas, to not get mad when you bring home another pair of shoes, to love you, to rescue you, to not be bossy, to adore you, and to continue this adventure of life with you, right by my side, for the rest of our lives.”
Pastor John grins at us and says, “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”
Phillip pulls me into his arms and kisses me. He was supposed to give me a sweet, sorta chaste kiss, but this is not that kind of kiss. This is a lean-me-back, kiss-me-until-I-can’t-breathe kind of kiss.
I’ll remember this kiss forever.
“I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Phillip Mackenzie,” the pastor says.
Our university fight song starts playing, and everyone claps and cheers as we walk down the aisle as husband and wife.
I’m pretty sure I win.
We took a few more photos and then enjoyed the last half of our cocktail hour. I didn’t get much to eat, but I made sure I got a Princess martini. After the cocktail hour, we all head into the reception.
It looks even better than I dreamed.
The big ballroom overlooking the Plaza Lights, the huge crystal chandeliers, the icy tree centerpieces dripping with crystals, the pale purple uplighting, my four-tiered chocolate cake, the sparkling place settings, and the beautiful silk linens.
Phillip holds my hand and says, “Did you notice I changed the centerpieces?”
I look around some more. I’m a bit overwhelmed because all I can think about is how much my mom would’ve loved this. Then, I notice that the tables don’t each have a tree centerpiece. Some have huge arrangements of the palest pink roses I’ve ever seen.
“The roses?”
Phillip smiles. “Yeah, each one has four-dozen roses. I’m pretty sure I win for biggest bouquet you’ve ever gotten.”
“You already won that contest when we got engaged.”
“I know, but I told Amy that story, and she said that four-dozen roses would be the ultimate profession of love. I love you, like, in case you didn’t know that yet.”
He kisses the tip of my nose.
I press my lips to his and say, “I think I have a pretty amazing husband.”
Some duct tape and a bungee cord.
About midway through dinner, I really have to pee.
Again.
And this is something you never see in a Disney princess movie. They never show the production it takes to pee in a ballgown.
I have a sudden epiphany while a troupe of my bridesmaids is stuffed into the restroom stall with me.
“This is the real reason Cinderella had mice and why Snow White had those pesky dwarfs. She needed them to hold up her dress while she peed!”
“Maybe you should stop drinking so much,” Lori tells me.
“It’s not my fault Phillip keeps handing me bottles of water. The bottles of water that I don’t remember ordering but must have since they have my wedding monogram on them. He keeps telling me to stay hydrated, like it’s my big game.”
“Well, it kinda is,” Lori says.
“That’s true, but when he has to pee, it doesn’t require a small army of groomsmen to unzip his fly.”
And, just when everyone is in place, my dress is held up, and I’m in position to pee, Lisa says, “Uh, hang on a sec.” Then, she drops her corner of the dress and runs into the neighboring stall.
Katie says to me, “You need to pick your dwarfs a little more carefully.”
We all laugh and try not to get grossed out by the sound of her puking.
I find myself mentally calculating the cost of it. Appetizers, three Princess martinis, a couple of shots, filet dinner.
Damn, that’s about a three-hundred-dollar puke there.
It is at that point that I decide to say screw the water and start hitting the alcohol a little harder.
Had Phillip been in charge of holding up my dress while I peed, he probably would’ve rigged up a way to hold the dress above my head with his belt, some duct tape, and a bungee cord.
Jadalicious.
After dinner, it’s time for the toasts, cutting the cake, and the first dance. I can’t remember exactly what all Danny and Lori said.
Lori said something like, “We all know weddings are about those three little words. I. Love. You. But, in the case of these two, it’s more like, it’s. About. Time.”
Danny said some sweet stuff that made me cry and some funny stuff that made me laugh, and then he ended the toast with, “To the nights you’ll never remember with the people you’ll never forget.”
The curtains on one side of the dining area are opened up to reveal the swanky nightclub portion of the reception. It has a huge monogrammed dance floor, deep purple lighting, white leather furniture with furry purple pillows, and lots of candlelight. Beyond the dance floor is an outdoor terrace covered in white lights and snow.
Phillip and I cut the cake. Of course, I have to smoosh it in his face a bit. He is smart though and doesn’t try to get me back. He’s already proving to be a good husband.
Then, we dance our first dance as husband and wife.
I love dancing with Phillip. I know there are lots of guests watching us, but with the lights low, it almost feels like we are alone.
Just like the night we danced at the swings.
After our sorority and fraternity serenades, I sit on a chair in the middle of the dance floor while Phillip finds his way through the layers of my dress. He’s making a big scene of taking my garter off. He runs his hand up the wrong leg and pretends he can’t find it. Then, he slowly runs his hand up my other leg, finds the Nebraska garter, and pulls it off with his teeth. The DJ starts playing stripper music.
Guess I’m getting a taste of that Vegas wedding after all!
Just about the time Phillip almost has the garter off my leg, the music scratches, and the DJ yells, “Hold up, wait a minute.”
Then, the song “Fergalicious” starts playing—only, somehow, they’ve changed the words to Jadalicious. Danny and all the groomsmen run onto the dance floor, toss off their jackets, and do a wild choreographed dance. It’s hilarious, watching them dance. They do the Stanky Leg, the Dougie, some random breakdancing, and the Moonwalk. You name it; they included it.
I scream, clap, and laugh my ass off. It’s classic Danny.
Our love is worth celebrating.
We’re done with all the official stuff. Now, it’s time to party!
“Phillip, I wanna give you your wedding present now!”
I drag him to a covered area by the doors that go out onto the rooftop deck. Right now, this area is hidden by curtains.
“So, unwrap your wedding present,” I tell him.
He pulls me toward him. “I thought you were my wedding present. How ’bout I unwrap you instead?”
“Phillip, be good and open it! I’m so excited!”
He kisses me and then slides the curtains open. Sitting on a table are five crystal decanters of varying shapes and sizes filled with what is supposed to be the best kinds of scotch. I had to conspire with Mr. D on this surprise. Mr. D tells me I need to acquire a taste for scotch.
I don’t know about you, but I have no desire to acquire a taste for something that smells like gasoline.
Next to the decanters is a tray full of cigars, and behind them, there’s a gorgeous cigar humidor made of shiny burled wood.
“Scotch and cigars? I think I might keep you.”
“The decanters and the humidor are my presents to you. Won’t they look cool on the bar in our new house?”
“Very cool. I love them.” He kisses the side of my face. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. Open the humidor.”
He opens it and reads the engraving on the gold plaque inside. “Phillip and Jadyn. Our love is worth celebrating. January the thirteenth.”
“Your dad always said he was celebrating when he smoked a cigar.”
“I know. Now, when you smoke a cigar, you’ll be celebrating our love. You won’t even have to come up with a lame excuse like my dad always did, and with the date on there, you’ll never be able to forget our anniversary.”
“No way I’ll ever forget this day. I’ve never been happier. My face hurts from smiling so much.” He pulls me in for another kiss. “Thank you. I love it.”
“Okay, so now, you can have some scotch and smoke a cigar with the guys while I run upstairs and change into my reception dress.”
“Change? What? Why?”
“Well, I love this dress, but it’s full, and I wanna dance. I was afraid people would step on it, so kinda last minute, I bought a dress for the reception. It’s sparkly and sexy. You’ll like it. I’m gonna change really quick. No one will even know I am gone.”
I kiss him and start to walk away.
He grabs my waist with one long arm, like he just caught a fish and is reeling it in. “Uh, not so fast there, missy.”
“What?”
“I’m coming with you.”
“But I was gonna let you smoke a cigar.”
“I can smoke a cigar later.”
“But I planned it all out.”
“Well, you’re married now, so you have to think about what your husband wants.”
My husband!
“Okay, what does my husband want? That sounds so weird. My husband.”
“Your husband loves this dress. He thinks you look beautiful in it, but I’ll tell you a dirty little secret. All he’s been thinking about is how he can’t wait to take it off you.”
His eyes are dark and smoldering. I know what that means.
“No, Phillip. I seriously need to take this dress off, put the other one on quick, and then get back down here. I’m talking a max of, like, five minutes.”
He grins at me and lowers his voice to that sexy volume. “Fine, but I’m gonna help you.”
He has a stubborn look on his face.
“You’re not going to give in on this, are you?”
“Nope.” He grins sexily at me.
“Fine. Come on.” I grab his hand and rush him out the side door.
We get to the honeymoon suite, and Phillip says, “Do you have a key?”
Crap. The key.
“Well, yeah, I have a key, but, um …”
“What?”
“Uh, well, it’s not like I have a purse or pockets in this dress.”
He pulls the top of my dress outward, stares down my cleavage, and looks for the key. “I don’t see it.”
The grin on his face makes me laugh. Seriously, it’s like he just saw boobs for the first time.
“Just turn around.”
“Just where exactly is this key?” he asks in a raspy, breathless voice.
“Remember the day I took your car keys when you got mad at me for the shoes?”
“Oh God. This is even better than I could’ve imagined. But don’t worry your pretty little head. Phillip has this all under control.”
He gets down on his knees, and I pray no one walks down the hall while his head is under my dress, retrieving the key. Although, honestly, he could probably almost hide under there.
He slowly runs his hand from my ankle to my knee. Then, he kisses his way up my thigh. I let out a big breath because, now, he’s running his hand across the edges of my something blue. I’m getting a little worried that he’s going to forget about the key completely.
“We need to hurry, Phillip.”
He ignores me, as usual when there’s only one thing on his mind.
Finally, thankfully, a few seconds later, he kisses my hip and says, “Got it!”
I feel the key slide out from the side of my panties.
He gets up fast, unlocks the door, sweeps me off my feet, and carries me across the threshold of our honeymoon suite.
His eyes look even darker.
He shuts the door and gets right down to business. And that business is not taking off my dress as planned.
He kisses my exposed shoulders, my neck, my lips. Then, he looks at the back of my dress like it’s a difficult golf putt. Like how they get down and look at it from all different angles.
“There isn’t a zipper.”
“No, Phillip, you have to unbutton every single button.”
He looks some more.
“I can get Lori to come up and do it.”
“Oh, no, you’re not. I’ve got this.”
He stands behind me, concentrating on the buttons. And the funny part is, he starts with the bottom button and works his way up to the top.
“Phillip, you’re, like, doing it backward.”
“No, I’m getting the right effect. Just you wait.” He undoes all the buttons, except for the very top one. Then, he stands in front of me. He wraps his arms around me, unbuttons the final button, stands back a little, and lets it go.
My dress slowly slides down off of me, and I’m now wearing nothing but a something blue thong.
Phillip lets out a heavy breath and says, “God, you take my breath away.”
In one quick motion, he puts his hand around my waist, lifts me up out of the frothy fabric pile, and pins me on the bed.
He kisses me deeply and then pulls off his shirt and pants. He never breaks eye contact with me.
I seriously have no idea when he even took off his jacket.
Okay, I have to say this, and then I’m going to tell him, Uh, no.
My husband is so freaking sexy!
He’s not the only one who can’t breathe.
I read somewhere in the millions of wedding articles and websites that you should take time for a few private moments on your wedding day, and I guess this would be considered a private moment.
But still, we planned this.
“Phillip, we can’t do this now. It’s our wedding night. We discussed this. Remember? Come up after the reception, take a warm bubble bath, drink champagne, relax, and then, you know.”
“You changed the plans when you changed the dress.”
“Phillip, I don’t wanna look back on our wedding night as nothing but a quickie!”
“No problem, Mrs. Mackenzie,” he says as he pulls the last scrap of lace off me. “I see no reason why we have to compromise. I see no reason why we can’t have both.”
And then, well …
It’s my wedding night! Well, kinda almost my wedding night. I’m not gonna tell him no.
The. Coolest. Wife. Ever.
While everyone was drinking and dancing, the ceremony area was being totally transformed. Phillip knows we’re having an after-party and helped pick out the great food, but he thinks it’s being held here.
At midnight, the DJ stops playing and announces that the after-party area is now open and to head that way for food and fun.
I grab Phillip’s hand to lead the way.
He steps into the room and sees the college-themed sports bar that Amy suggested. We had pool tables, ping-pong tables, dartboard machines, karaoke, and foosball brought in. Drink options are coffee or kegged beer out of red cups. There’s white lounge seating with red and black pillows and portable white bleachers. There’s even a replica game-day scoreboard that says Bride and Groom instead of Home and Visitor.
Phillip gives me a wide, half-drunken grin. “You’re seriously the. Coolest. Wife. Ever.”
We laugh and watch our friends’ looks of surprise as they come into the after-party. I also notice that Joey, who caught the garter, has his arm tightly wrapped around my sorority little sis and bridesmaid, Chelsea, who is still clutching the bouquet she caught.
Everyone seems pretty excited.
The ping-pong tables are quickly converted to beer-pong tables. The groom is bodily carried off to the keg to do a keg stand. Blake, Nick, and Danny do a hilarious karaoke rendition of “I Kissed a Girl.”
I laugh so hard.
By the time we leave the after-party, Nick is passed out on the white couch, and Katie is making out with Neil behind the bleachers. Some things never change.
Phillip unlocks the door to our honeymoon suite and carries me over the threshold again. The room looks amazing. There are candles lit, rose petals sprinkled across the bed, and two of the rose bouquets from the reception are sitting on the nightstands.
Phillip does a silly little dance. “Let’s get this wedding night started.”
I think he’s pretty tipsy.
I wonder if the wedding night is going to go as planned, but Phillip suddenly gets very serious.
We slowly undress each other, and then he leads me into the bathroom. In the bathroom are four more of the rose arrangements and more gently flickering candles. A bath has already been drawn, and sitting next to the tub is a silver tray with our favorite dessert shots and tea light candles. Attached to it is a note that says, Congrats! Love, the Dessert Fairy.
