Everything hurt. It was the sort of pain that made it hard to breathe.
All Evangeline wanted was to run back to Jacks. But she forced herself to keep walking. She made herself exit the library and turn down the emptiest hall she could find, where no one could hear her cry.
She pressed her hands to her eyes as the tears flowed harder. She didn’t want to cry. But it truly felt over. And it hurt. It hurt so much. It hurt in her chest, and it hurt in her heart. Because he didn’t want her heart. The thought made her cry harder. She cried until she couldn’t see straight, until she was in some unknown corridor, clutching her stomach and biting her arm, trying to silence the sobs as she sank to the floor.
Maybe it would be better to forget him. She hadn’t wanted the forgetting before, but she wanted it now.
She wanted the pain to end. She wanted to forget his dimpled smile, his brilliant blue eyes, the way he called her Little Fox. And suddenly, her chest was tight at the thought she might never hear that nickname again. And she didn’t want to forget. She didn’t want to forget at all.
She didn’t want the memories erased or rewritten; she wanted more of them.
She didn’t want to say goodbye. She still wanted Jacks to change his mind. To find a way to another true love.
It hit Evangeline then, how she could save Jacks. It was so simple, she cursed herself for not considering it before. Love was how she could save him. She didn’t just care about him or want him. She loved him. She just needed to tell him that.
Love was the most powerful magic of all. If he loved her the way she loved him, they could find a way to make it work.
It didn’t matter if he stayed forever cursed. All that mattered was that he stayed, that he chose her instead of fear.
Evangeline started back toward the arch. She needed to find him; she needed to tell him how she felt before it was too late. She needed to do it before he used the stones and she forgot they’d ever met.
He couldn’t have used them yet, because she still remembered him. Evangeline picked up her pace to a run, chest heaving and slippers slapping hard against the castle floors. She must have gone farther than she’d thought and stayed there longer than she’d realized. Wolf Hall was waking up. She could hear servants moving down other halls and see the flicker of freshly lit candles lighting her way back to the library.
It felt like forever before she reached the room with the arch.
The air still swirled with magic and hints of power that felt like a storm. The arch was the same as when she had left. The ancient door was still there, and so were all the stones.
Evangeline felt a rush of relief. If Jacks hadn’t taken the stones, maybe he’d already changed his mind? Although … if he’d changed his mind, it seemed odd he’d have just left the stones for someone else to take.
Something was wrong. She knew it even before she noticed the drops of gold-flecked blood spattered across the wings of the warrior angels.
A tremor of fear moved inside her. What if Chaos had fed on Jacks? Or what if something else from inside the Valory had hurt him? She still didn’t know what was inside of it.
Evangeline reached for the door. But it was already opening.
She jumped back.
“It’s all right,” Apollo said as he appeared in the archway, his broad shoulders nearly filling it.
Evangeline tensed and took another step back.
Apollo slowly raised his hands. “Please, don’t be scared. I’m not going hurt you.” He looked down at her with warm brown eyes; the red was gone, along with the anguish. “The curse is lifted, Evangeline.”
“How?”
“A woman—she didn’t tell me her name, but she was some sort of healer. She found me, cut some of my hair, said a few words I didn’t understand, then I felt it vanish.” Apollo took a shuddering breath. “As soon as it was lifted, I told her that I needed to find you, and she showed me an old arch that led me here.” He looked around the ancient room as if trying to figure out where he was, but then his eyes quickly returned to Evangeline’s.
They really were beautiful eyes, rich and brown, and when he looked at her, his gaze was so full of emotion it made her chest ache again. She didn’t know what he wanted to say, but she knew she couldn’t stay. She had to find Jacks.
And yet, it felt callous to just run from Apollo. He’d been cursed three times now. She had no idea if he even knew why. He didn’t look haunted or desperate like the last time she’d seen him, but there was something terribly vulnerable about him as he stood in the door with his palms still raised and his smile fading. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“It’s not your fault—you were cursed.”
“I should have fought it harder.” Apollo slowly lowered his hands. “I shouldn’t have come to your room last night. I should have run away so that I wouldn’t hurt you.”
He shook his head remorsefully. His dark hair had grown longer. It fell over one eye, making him look suddenly younger as he said, “I’ve had a lot of time to think. But mostly, I’ve just thought of you.”
Evangeline’s heart cracked a little. Weeks ago, this was what she wanted to hear Apollo, uncursed, saying: he wanted her. And a part of her still wished she could want it. It made far more sense to fall in love with the prince than with the villain. But Evangeline didn’t want love that made sense, she wanted love that made her feel, love that made her want to fight and hope for the impossible.
“Whatever you’ve thought, it’s only because of the Archer’s curse. Jacks said—”
“You can’t trust anything he says,” Apollo snapped, and for a second, he looked murderous.
Evangeline backed away a step.
Apollo scrubbed a hand down his face. The rage vanished, replaced by pain. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. He’s just done so much to both of us. He’s clearly used some of his magic to make you trust him.”
Evangeline almost didn’t reply. Apollo was justified in his anger. But she didn’t want him blaming Jacks for crimes he hadn’t committed. “I know he’s done a lot of terrible things, but he hasn’t used any magic on me, and if it weren’t for him, neither of us would be alive.”
“No, Evangeline. If it weren’t for Jacks, neither of us would have ever been in danger.” Apollo dragged a hand through his hair. “I wish he didn’t have this hold on you.”
“I wish he didn’t, either,” she confessed. And she would have told Apollo that she’d really tried to love him. But that confession almost seemed as unkind as some of the things that Jacks had done. “I’m sorry, Apollo.”
He looked at her with wounded eyes. “I am, too.” But there was something off about the way he said it.
A warning pulsed inside Evangeline, telling her she needed to leave. But Apollo was too quick. She tried to dart past him, but he grabbed her and pressed her back to one of the stone angels, holding her in place with his chest and one heavy arm around her waist.
“Apollo—stop. Let me go!” She shoved against him.
“Shh, sweetheart.” He stroked her hair, unmoved by her protests. “I didn’t want to do this, but it’s for the best.”
He brushed his thumb across her temple, terrifyingly soft and sweet, and she felt the fight draining out of her limbs.
“What did you just…” Her head was too heavy to finish the question.
“It’s all right. I’ve got you.” His arm tightened around her waist.
She tried again to struggle, but she was pathetically weak—as if she were a ball of yarn trying to battle a great cat.
Apollo cupped her face with one large hand. His touch was soft, but it felt wrong, as if he wasn’t just caressing her. It felt as if he were reaching into her, as if there were invisible fingers digging into her mind, taking things they shouldn’t. Memories.
“No!” Evangeline tried in vain to struggle as she felt him snatch away the first night they met—the night Evangeline kissed him, up in the tree after Jacks had painted her lips with his blood. Although … the memory of that was fading as well.
“Don’t!” she cried. “Stop!” But Apollo merely held her tighter.
“It will be better soon.” He stroked her cheek, and the memory of the last time they’d been together, when they’d been kissing in the bed, when he’d wrapped his hands around her throat, when Jacks had stormed into the room and carried her away—it all disappeared.
There was a blankness in her mind. She knew something had been stolen, but she had no idea what it was.
With her body weakened, she fought to lock him out of her mind, to hide her remaining memories, but one by one he plucked them out.
The night in the crypt with Jacks … gone.
Marrying Apollo … gone.
Her friendship with LaLa … gone.
Apollo infected with the Archer’s curse … gone.
Jumping off the cliff with Jacks—
“No!” she screamed.
… gone.
The wonder of the Hollow … gone.
Jacks bandaging her wounds … gone.
Jacks confessing he was the Archer … gone.
“Please, stop,” she begged.
She held tight to the memories of her parents, of the curiosity shop, of all the fairytales her mother had ever told her. Evangeline tried to hold them in her head like a child with a precious blanket, as if they might protect her, since she couldn’t seem to protect them.
“Please—stop! Please, stop!” she cried. “Please—”
She cried until her throat went raw. Until she wasn’t even sure who she was begging.
She was crying so hard she could barely see.
But she knew that she was alone. Not just alone in this strange place but alone in the world. She felt it down to her bones.
