There were moments in a man’s life when his pride must be swallowed down like a lumpy sock of coal. One of those moments was when his six-and-a-half-year-old daughter somehow manipulated him into a pool party with his boss/neighbor/star of the dream he had the night before but was actively trying to forget because it involved her in a bikini.
The day had started innocuously enough. The weather was beautiful and bright and hot. My mom didn’t feel well, so I did my workouts from home, had a phone meeting with my offensive coordinator, and promised Faith we could go swimming.
Strictly following the house rule that she wasn’t allowed in the pool if no adult was outside with her, she waited patiently on a patio chair while I ran inside to change into my board shorts and grab the sunscreen.
And that was when everything fell off the rails.
Because my evil genius daughter saw Allie sunbathing in her backyard, walked through the hedge, and must have begged her to come sit by our pool so that she could get in, thereby skirting around my absence and winning some quality time with the neighbor she clearly idolized.
That was the scene I walked outside to, folks. Allie sitting on the top step of my pool, wearing a slim cut red suit that looked nothing like the bikini she’d had on in my dream, and my daughter tossing a beach ball at her while they both laughed.
I had to pause and make sure I was awake because my dream had started in an almost identical way.
“Daddy!” Faith squealed from the water. “Miss Allie came swimming with me!”
“I see that,” I said mildly.
Allie’s hair was twisted up in a wet knot at the top of her head as she glanced between Faith and me. “I’m sorry, she asked if I could sit here because there’s supposed to be an adult outside when she’s swimming.”
I narrowed my eyes at Faith, who beamed at Allie as if she’d just single-handedly given her the keys to Disneyland or something.
“She’s right about that,” I answered. “But I was just popping inside to change.”
Allie wasn’t wearing sunglasses, and her eyes tripped down my bare chest before quickly darting away.
She started to stand. “I can go.”
“Noooo,” Faith pleaded. Oh great, she pulled out the puppy dog eyes. They were practically a weapon of mass destruction when she unleashed them on someone who wasn’t used to their power. “Can you stay for like, twenty minutes? Or maybe just an hour?”
Allie laughed at the clear misjudgment of time increments, and I rubbed the back of my neck. I wish I’d slipped on my sunglasses so that my eyes would have some sort of barrier, some way to block Allie from seeing where I was looking.
I didn’t want to be looking at her. Truly.
But as much as I’d been able to ignore the foggy remnants of my dream all morning, it was all but impossible now.
In the dream, we hadn’t touched. Not once. I woke up before it could happen, but it didn’t lessen the impact. All I could remember now was how her slender fingers had worried the knot of her bikini where it tied behind her smooth, sleek back.
The way she looked over her shoulder at me and started pulling at the string.
“Twenty minutes,” Allie told Faith, and my daughter smiled happily. “If that’s okay with your dad,” she said, glancing at me again.
As if I’d be able to kick her out and not have a mopey daughter to deal with for the rest of the day. But I was grateful Allie was asking my permission anyway.
I cleared my throat and set the tube of sunscreen down on the patio table. “Fine with me.”
Faith dunked her head under water and doggy paddled over to the steps by Allie. Her waterproof pink cast looked wavy and distorted under the water but barely hampered her movements. Wouldn’t it be nice if adults were so adaptable?
For instance, I should be able to adapt to Allie’s presence, right?
By now, I knew she was beautiful, and I understood and accepted that she was in my life even though to what capacity was still a bit murky. So I should be able to just … deal with it.
“I’m going to be in second grade,” Faith announced as soon as she swiped the water from her face.
Allie smiled at my daughter. “Yeah? You’re gettin’ pretty old, huh?”
“Did you like second grade?” Faith asked.
And thus the tone of this little impromptu pool party was set. Faith peppering Allie with question after question, each answered patiently and honestly, and not once did she look uncomfortable or annoyed.
No, that role was left for me.
I was more than uncomfortable because I was completely superfluous to everything that was going on. All I could do was sit at the edge of my pool, watching my daughter interview Allie with the skill of Barbara Walters, and try very much not to stare at the way Allie’s bare legs swished back and forth under the water.
“What’s your favorite flower?”
Allie tilted her head and pursed her lips. “Pink tulips.”
“Really? Mine are daisies. Those are kinda like tulips.”
I smothered my smile before Allie or Faith could see it because my daughter’s clear insistence to form a connection with this woman was in every answer, no matter what Allie said.
Allie’s favorite season was fall, and Faith’s was spring, which both had leaves in it.
Allie’s favorite color was blue, and Faith’s was pink, and those were really, really close because they used them in Sleeping Beauty for Aurora’s dress.
Allie’s middle name was Leanne, and Faith’s was Kathryn, which both had the letter ‘n’ in it.
Etcetera, etcetera, and we kept doing that for eighteen more minutes.
This was something I could adapt to. Surface level questions answered quickly and easily, and nothing about it shifted my perception of who Allie was as a person.
Then, with roughly two minutes left, Faith went in for her kill shot.
“Did you go to the same school I go to, Miss Allie?”
That long, tan leg stopped moving under the water, and Allie peered thoughtfully at my daughter.
It was the kind of question that should have been answered with the same ease as the others, but she took a deep breath, making her slim shoulders rise up and then down.
I forced my eyes away because I didn’t want to be dissecting her body language.
“I didn’t.” She cleared her throat and tucked a non-existent hair behind her ear. “I actually went to a school where you sleep over.”
Faith’s eyes widened. “You sleep at the school?”
I leaned back and watched with unfolding interest, somewhere in my brain noting that this was a piece of the Allie puzzle that I might not want to know about.
Allie nodded. “I was a few years older than you, and my father thought it would be good for me to go to that kind of school. It’s called a boarding school.”
“Whoa,” Faith breathed, no longer moving in the pool. “Can I go to a boarding school, Daddy?”
“No way,” I said instantly, then gentled my tone when they both looked at me with surprise. “I’d miss you too much, turbo.”
Allie swallowed and looked away, out at the lake, when it dawned on me how that might have sounded. I would miss Faith too much if I sent her away. Which might have felt like Robert didn’t miss his own daughter because he did make that choice.
Shit, I thought in my head. This twenty minutes would completely upset the balance of whatever we’d figured out the night before.
The second I laid my hands on her, it started a new trajectory, something that I no longer controlled. Just like right now.
“I’d miss you too, Daddy,” Faith said happily. “But sleeping over at school would be so fun.”
She dunked her head under water again, which was why she probably didn’t notice that Allie didn’t agree with her.
But I noticed.
And I hated it.
Allie slid her hands along the tops of her sun-kissed thighs and gave me a tiny smile. “Well, I think my twenty minutes are up.”
I nodded. “I’m sure she’ll try to get another round out of you if you’re still here when she comes up for air.”
She laughed. “She’s a great kid, Luke.”
Faith came up and sputtered water from her lips, which made me smile.
“She’s the best kid,” I answered easily. It wasn’t hard to say out loud, partially because I was biased, but if I took my own issues with Allie out of the equation, I was really damn proud that my daughter was being kind and curious and sweet with a new neighbor.
“Do you have to go, Miss Allie?” Faith asked.
Allie glanced at me and pinched her lips between her teeth to keep from laughing. She nodded. “I do, honey. But thank you for inviting me over. I had a lot of fun.”
“Me too.” She sighed.
When Allie stood, I could practically hear the soundtrack in my head to the slow unfolding of her swimsuit-clad body, which I’d see in only a few short hours at the photo shoot. What would she be wearing there?
She took a deep breath and looked at me for a long second. “I’ll see you later.”
Without waiting for a response, she winked at my daughter and went back into her own yard.
I didn’t watch her walk away.
Refused to admit I wanted to.
The truth was that I still wasn’t quite sure what to do with Allie Sutton.
