It took five hours for the healers to treat all the wounded and then me. Luckily, every elf had some healing ability, so the women and even young children came out to help tend to the wounded. My arrow wound sealed right up and left a tender pink pucker mark. I told my healer not to fully take the evidence of the injury, to allow it to scar so that I could remember this day that I’d found the strength to be a true queen, not just a fake one.
In the middle of the night I sat in the meeting room with what was left of the council, Aron and Greylin. Foxworth had fled, and Haig was gone.
“I’m sorry about your father,” I said for the tenth time to Aron.
Aron looked sad but was holding it together well. He nodded. “The old man always wanted a worthy death in battle. He wasn’t really made for being stuck in a room all day and having meetings.”
I inclined my head. “The latest messenger reported that Zaphira and her men are fully gone and our people are already repairing the wall, working in shifts.”
Greylin rubbed his face. “I’m exhausted, but not sure I can sleep.”
I knew what he meant. What if the queen came back with an army three times the size? What if she wasn’t done?
The door burst open then and I jumped a little at the sight of Raife. He looked totally clean and not injured, which I was grateful for, but his eyes were wide, chest heaving and he appeared… livid.
“You led my army onto the battlefield?” he growled.
Of course he would have seen it coming in—the burnt earth, the piles of bodies. He’d probably already spoken to Cahal and gotten a full rundown.
I swallowed hard, trying not to think of the letter he’d left me.
Aron stood and looked Raife in the eye. “My lord. She did our kingdom proud, she did your crown proud. The people are safe and—”
“I need to speak with Lani privately. Get out!” Raife screamed at the council.
Greylin scowled at him. “You have no reason to be upset with her. She drove off the Nightfall queen when others wanted to flee!”
“Get. Out!” Raife said through gritted teeth.
They left, casting me worried glances, but I waved them off. I was covered in dirt, blood, and soot. I still wore Raife’s tunic, which had been cut off the shoulder and tied under my armpit to expose my healing wound. If Raife wanted to punish me, I would take it. I stood, and faced him with my chin held high, ready for his wrath.
Did he know Haig was dead? I tried not to think about Raife’s note. Making this as professional of a conversation as possible would be best.
Raife turned on me then, eyes raking over every inch of me, and I could almost feel their caress. “You went on the battlefield? You led a war?” He sounded like he was in pain. I was so confused I couldn’t process it.
I simply nodded.
He reached up and grabbed the sides of his jaw in agony. “You could have died. I can’t do this anymore.”
My stomach dropped. “Do what?”
“Friends. I hate being your friend. Screw friends,” he declared.
I couldn’t breathe. It was as if his outburst absorbed all of the oxygen in the room.
My mouth popped open in shock. I wasn’t sure if I should be hurt or… something else.
His hands fell away from his face and he stepped towards me, eating up the space between us. “I can’t go one second longer pretending I’m not desperately in love with you, Kailani. Pretending this marriage is fake. It’s not fake, and I can’t fight it anymore. I’m too tired and I care for you too much.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “You consume me,” he said, and I gasped as his lips fell on mine.
It was like the dark hole he’d burrowed into my heart with all of his rejection and pushing away was suddenly filled up with light. I felt like I was buzzing, floating; my body couldn’t process the elated feelings, and I couldn’t tell if they were coming from him or me. It was from us both, I realized, a heady mixture of love and desire.
He pulled back then, looking at me with a vulnerability. “If you still want me.”
A smile pulled at my lips and I cupped his jaw in my hands. “Raife, I’ve spent every day since I met you wanting you.”
His lips were back on mine then, as his fingers slipped up the backside of my tunic and I fumbled with the belt of his trousers.
I needed him, needed to make love to him to solidify that I was in fact not his damn friend.
But first he had to know something. I pulled away from him and he froze, looking into my eyes with uncertainty as to why I stopped.
“Raife, Haig died, people died—” My voice cracked and he nodded, stroking my cheek.
“It’s okay. All that matters is that you are alive and the Nightfall queen fled, and the people are chanting your name in the streets, my love.”
His acceptance of the loss of his people was exactly what I needed to heal. In that moment my guilt fled and I let my trousers and tunic fall to the floor.
His gaze raked over my naked skin, eyes going half lidded. “I heard you had some needs that required satisfaction?”
I tipped my head back and laughed and his mouth landed on my throat, sucking the skin there and causing me to moan.
Raife pulled back and looked me in the eyes. “Your aunt was right. Family makes a place a home, and you’re my family now, Kailani. Forever.”
A single tear slipped from my eye and Raife swooped down to kiss it.
Being Raife’s family, after knowing how much he lost all those years ago, was a bigger honor than just being his wife and queen. I wanted to be his everything, and now I was.
