My nerves are shot as I stare in the mirror, taking in my blue sundress and my impeccable makeup. I did it just the way Lily taught me, and I can’t help but wonder what she’d think if she saw me today. Would she be disappointed in me? Would she understand I’m only here because I have to be?
I’ve barely seen Zane since we got here. He’s gotten up early to help with the ceremony preparations every day, and he doesn’t come to bed until I’m asleep. I’ve woken up a few times in the middle of the night, startled by the feeling of the mattress dipping, but I haven’t had the guts to turn around and face him.
In the quiet of the night, it’s harder to hold on to the resentment that fueled me for years. More than once, I’ve wondered whether he’d pull me close in his sleep like he used to. When we were dating, I’d often wake up with our limbs entangled and him holding me tightly. Now he stays firmly on his side of the bed, our bodies never coming close enough to touch. That should be a relief, but somehow, it just hurts.
“Sweetheart?”
I turn to find Zane’s grandmother standing in the doorway to our room, dressed in a beautiful formal gown in the same shade of blue that Dion and Faye requested we all wear.
“I thought you might accompany me to the wedding?”
Relief washes over me, and my entire body relaxes. “Oh,” I breathe. “I’d love to, ma’am.” I’d been worried about entering the venue by myself. I’ve done what Zane asked and kept my distance as best as I could out of respect for Dion and Faye, but I can’t avoid them today.
“Call me Grandma,” she reminds me, her tone sharp.
I clear my throat awkwardly. “Yes, Grandma.”
She smiles so sweetly in response that it’s hard to remember she’s the same woman who told me she didn’t want me anywhere near her granddaughter, the one who now holds my fate in her hands. She offers me her arm, and I hold on to her as we walk to the wedding venue, my anxiety increasing with every step.
I look up at the altar to find Ares, Luca, Zane, Lexington, and Dion standing side by side. Their smiles melt away when they spot me, and I lower my gaze. “Keep your head up,” Grandma Anne demands. “You’re here because I told you to be.”
She might well be the only person who actually wants me here, and the irony isn’t lost on me. I’m trembling as I sit down next to her, feeling Zane’s gaze burning on my skin. He stares at me, his expression darkening by the second.
I can’t help but smile when he clenches his jaw. After the way he completely ignored me for days, it feels strangely good to see how angry it makes him to watch me sit here, in a spot he’d undoubtedly rather give to someone else.
Zane tears his eyes away, and I cross my legs, unable to do the same. He looks amazing in that tux, and I take a moment to study him. He’s always been handsome, but the years have been good to him. He looks stronger, bigger, a little rougher. He’s clean-shaven for the ceremony, but I know that in just a few hours, stubble will be grazing his face. I always loved the way it felt against the soft skin of my thighs. I draw a shaky breath and look down as guilt swiftly eradicates every hint of desire.
A gentle piano melody begins to play and we all rise from our seats, a hush falling over the room. I can’t keep my eyes off Zane as he watches Faye walk in, accompanied by Sierra, Raven, and Valentina. He looks so proud, and it does something to me, unwinds a knot in my stomach and leaves me enthralled. For a few moments, I lose myself in memories of him looking at me in a similar way — not quite as innocent as he does right now, but with the same hints of pride.
The ceremony starts, and we all sit down. I manage to focus on Dion and Faye for a couple of minutes, but my gaze is inadvertently drawn back to Zane. Once upon a time, I’d dreamed of seeing him standing at the end of the aisle. I spent days wondering how he’d look at me when he saw me in my wedding dress, our families surrounding us and wishing us well. I wanted it so desperately, and I’d been so foolish.
In just one more week, we’ll get married under vastly different circumstances than we’d imagined all those years ago, and I can’t shake that feeling of impending doom. Zane’s eyes meet mine, and pure torment crosses his face. I’d give the world to find out what he’s thinking as he looks at me like that. Does this moment remind him of the vows we made?
I sigh and lower my eyes when Dion and Faye are pronounced husband and wife for the second time, memories overwhelming me. I can still hear Zane’s voice like he spoke the words yesterday. “I love you, and someday, I’m going to make you my wife. That’s a vow, Celeste.” I suppose he kept some vows in the end, just not the most important ones.
The ceremony comes to an end, and I rise to my feet alongside Grandma Anne to meet Zane halfway, as agreed. We’re meant to walk together, toward the area Dion and Faye chose for their wedding photos, every moment for the next few hours carefully planned out. “Zane,” I murmur, unsure what I’m even trying to say as I take his arm, my touch light.
He leans in, and the way his lips brush against my ear sends a shiver down my body. “Smile, and pretend you actually want to be here with me,” he whispers, his tone filled with barely disguised distaste. “Pretending is what you excel at, isn’t it? So pretend for me, Celeste.”
I pull him to a stop halfway to the photo spot and he turns to look at me, irritation written all over his face. I smile and rise to my tiptoes, my lips brushing against his ear, giving him a taste of what he just did to me.
His arm wraps around my waist instantly, and he pulls me closer, the way he used to. I crash against him, my lips brushing over the part of his ear that’s sensitive, the part I used to love biting. “I’m not the problem,” I whisper, enjoying the way he begins to harden against me. It’s surprising how much of a relief it is to know he still wants me the way he used to. “If you keep glaring at me, you’ll worry your family. You don’t want that, do you?”
I pull away a little to look at him, my lower body still pressed against his. His gaze is heated, his eyes filled with warnings I’m tempted to ignore. I knew mentioning his family would enrage him, but I forged ahead regardless, wanting him to bleed as much as I am. The ceremony reminded me of everything we could have had, everything he destroyed when he cheated on me. What I did to him in return isn’t enough. It’ll never be enough.
“I hate you with every fiber of my being,” he whispers, his gaze conveying the truthfulness of his words. Seeing me here with his family affected him more than I thought it would. It looks like I’m not the only one walking around with open wounds tonight, and I’m going to do all I can to pour salt into his.
“I’m going to destroy you, Celeste. Everything you put me through will look like child’s play compared to the way I’ll make you suffer.” His hand wraps into my hair, and he grabs a fist full of my curls, his lips hovering over mine for a moment, before he sinks his teeth into my bottom lip angrily, drawing a soft whimper from my throat. “I’ll drag you to hell with me,” he promises, his breathing ragged. “Right where we both belong.”
