“You look beautiful, honey,” Mom says, her voice trembling. I look into the mirror, my eyes meeting hers as she positions herself behind me and gently squeezes my shoulders over my soft silk robe.
My makeup looks natural but elegant, and for once, my hair has been wrangled into a smooth bun that sits low, a few stray curls strategically framing my face. I look like a bride, but I don’t feel like one.
Guilt hits me harder than ever before, and I try my best to push aside my grief. I’d always thought I’d have Lily with me on my wedding day as my maid of honor. I’ve imagined this day so many times, but never did I think I’d find myself sitting in the bridal room of a venue I’ve never been to before, unsure what my wedding dress even looks like.
The Windsors took care of the entire wedding, and though Grandma Anne asked for my input a few times, she mostly decided on things herself. I feel like an uninvited guest at someone else’s wedding. An imposter.
“I know today isn’t easy for you, Celeste,” Mom says. “But have some faith, okay? You once loved him, and I think you’ll learn to do so again.”
I look into her eyes, wishing I had the words to explain why the future she envisions can’t come to pass. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still have feelings for him, or that I don’t want him as much as I used to. I do, but hatred and years of pain drown out everything else.
“More importantly,” I murmur. “We’ll be able to undo some of the damage the company sustained. I’m looking forward to getting back to work and turning Grandpa’s legacy into more than he could’ve dreamed of.”
Mom sighs and rubs my shoulder. “You are his legacy, Celeste,” she tells me. “Archer and you.”
I force a smile for her. If only Grandpa felt the same way. It’s been years, and Archer and Grandpa still barely speak — because he valued his company more than his grandson. He still does, or I wouldn’t be getting married into a family he can’t stand, to a man that destroyed everything I held dear.
A knock sounds on the door, and Mom frowns as she opens it. I rise from my seat at the sound of Raven’s voice and turn toward her in surprise. Her eyes meet mine, and the trepidation in them renders me speechless for a moment. My gaze drops to the garment bag in her arms, and she sighs.
“I brought this for you.” Her voice is soft, hesitant.
“For me?”
She nods and walks toward me, her gaze running over my face. She steadfastly ignored me throughout Dion’s wedding, just like Sierra did. Each time we were in the same room, she’d tense, pain and anger flickering through her eyes. I knew I’d have to face her sometime soon, but I hadn’t expected her to take the first step.
Raven unzips the bag, and tears instantly fill my eyes when she takes out the wedding dress of my dreams — the one I’d told her about back when she was still drawing designs for fun, and marriage had been something I was looking forward to.
She throws me a shaky smile. “I designed this with you in mind. It’s one of my very first creations, but I never had the heart to put it up for sale. It just didn’t feel right, and I guess now I know why. It was always meant for you.”
She drapes the dress over my chair before leaning in and carefully swiping my tears away. “Don’t cry,” she orders, her tone tormented. “You’ll ruin your makeup. I’ll already have plenty of work to do with final alterations on this dress, so don’t make me touch up your makeup too. You won’t be the exact same size you were when I last measured you five years ago.”
“Why would you do this for me?” I ask, my voice breaking. Raven and Sierra are my biggest regrets — I’ve missed them terribly, but I’ve hurt them nearly as much as I’ve hurt Zane. The only difference is they never deserved it like he did.
“I don’t know. I guess I just have a habit of loving people who don’t love me back, of holding on too long in an effort to belong. I don’t have it in me to forgive you, Celeste, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be happy.”
I burst out crying and bury my face in my hands, my shoulders shaking as I try my best to keep my grief contained. Mom wraps her arm around me and pulls me into her, holding me together when all I want to do is fall apart.
“Please don’t cry,” Raven pleads, her voice betraying how close to tears she is, and I nod, trying my best to stop. “Let’s get you into your dress, hmm?”
I’m trembling as she swipes away my tears, devastation written all over her face. It’s clearly hard for her to stand here and be the better person, but she’s here regardless, because that’s the kind of person she is. I never deserved the friendship she offered me, now even less so than before.
“It’s a near-perfect fit,” she says as she takes her sewing kit out of her bag. The way she looks at me is so bittersweet. It’s like the designer in her is pleased with the way the dress turned out, but the woman underneath feels conflicted seeing it on me, the person it was intended for but who doesn’t deserve to wear it.
I stand as still as I can as she makes some final adjustments, taking the moment to study her. She was always stunning, but she’s even prettier now, in a way that betrays her happiness. She’s glowing in a way she didn’t used to, like she’s finally loved and appreciated the way she always wanted to be. It hurts to know I wasn’t there to witness that transformation. I wasn’t there when she graduated, nor was I by her side when she got married. What would she think if I told her I followed the news coverage about her intently? That more than once, I’d dialed her number only to hang up the second it rang?
Raven pushes a beautiful golden hairpin that looks vaguely familiar into my hair. “I’ll let you borrow this,” she murmurs, her voice breaking. “I’ll let you know when to return it. Keep it until then.”
I nod, and she carefully begins to fix my hair and makeup for me, ensuring it’s all perfect. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, the words spilling out of me involuntarily.
She freezes for a fraction of a second and looks up, her gaze hardening. “I’m not the person who needs to hear those words.”
I tense, helplessness washing over me. “You don’t understand,” I tell her.
Something akin to frustration flashes through her eyes. “No,” she says, her tone sharp. “I don’t, and I probably never will. I’m not even sure I want to anymore, you know? Your rationale won’t undo the pain you caused.”
She steps back, her gaze roaming over my dress one final time before she sighs and turns her back to me. Raven pauses by the door and glances over her shoulder. “Don’t hurt him again, Celeste. He won’t survive it a second time.”
I tense, the injustice of it all hitting me hard. I put my shield back up, and disappointment flashes through her eyes as she walks away.
“Come on, sweetie,” Mom says, her expression complicated. “Let’s not keep your father or Zane waiting any longer.”
All of them are blaming her when is all Zane’s fault.