My fingertips trail over the edges of the worn photo frame, Lily’s beaming face staring back at me. We made this frame together when we were fourteen, almost entirely from seashells we’d gathered. Normally, this photo soothes me, reminding me of the good times.
Today, it just inspires guilt. I grip the shells along the frame tightly, my heart heavy. I’ve never been filled with this many doubts or this much regret. I’m tired of hurting, of hurting the people around me in return.
For days now, my mind has been tormenting me with memories of Sierra and Raven, and the friendship we shared. They were the only ones who truly supported Zane and me from the moment they found out, but that wasn’t why I loved them. It was the endless laughter, the inside jokes, the heartfelt conversations, and the way they made me feel so included when I didn’t think I’d ever belong with them.
I sigh and squeeze my eyes closed for a moment, feeling intensely guilty. I know what I’m going through isn’t even a fraction of the pain Lily felt, and I feel more conflicted than ever before. With each day that passes, it’s becoming harder to hang on to the hatred and grief that fueled me. Each time Zane and I share a moment, I’m left with more questions. I can’t reconcile the man I’ve always known with the man Lily told me he was, but I can’t handle the implications of my doubts either. I’m more lost and confused than ever as I stare at the photo in my hands, my heart aching.
“I reassessed the final merger documents,” Zane calls from his end of the office, and I place the frame down carefully. “I’d like to sell one of the hotels in the south of Spain. It’s tiny and derelict, and I honestly can’t remember why we decided to keep it.”
I tense, instantly realizing which hotel he means. I glance up at him, disappointment settling deep in my chest. When we began our negotiations, we agreed to carefully assess what we should or shouldn’t keep from both of our companies, so we could focus our efforts on improving performance at our best hotels. Zane asked me for a list of properties I absolutely didn’t want to sell, and the one he’s referring to, Alto, was at the very top. It’s the first property my grandfather ever fully entrusted me with, and it’s the one I learned the ropes with. It’s true that it’s old, and when the company sustained financial damage, we weren’t able to maintain it the way we could have. I’d been looking forward to restoring it, but I’m tired of fighting with Zane over every little thing. The hatred I saw in his eyes used to thrill me, because it meant I’d gotten to him — now it just hurts.
“Why?” I ask, rising from my seat. He grabs his tablet from his desk and saunters over, his gaze challenging. “It’s too old and it requires too much yearly maintenance for starters,” he says as he walks around my desk, his body brushing against mine as he leans in to show me his tablet. He’s in another one of those three-piece suits of his today, and my gaze roams over him appreciatively, only to settle on his chest. I’ve been so tempted to ask him about his tattoo, but it’d undoubtedly turn into another massive argument. More than once, he’s made it clear he doesn’t want me interfering in his private life, but I kept ignoring his warnings, and that only made him hate me more. “It’s also not luxurious enough, and not in a desirable enough area so the occupancy is too low. We should get rid of it.”
I stare at the photos of the hotel, my heart aching at the thought of everything it could be if we invested in it. It would make for the perfect luxury retreat due to its location. “Okay,” I murmur, my voice soft.
Zane raises a brow. “What?”
I look into his eyes, my heart beating a rhythm that’s uniquely his. Being around him again is so confusing. There’s so much distance between us, except for those few moments when we give in to that chemistry we’ve always had. I’m his wife, but it doesn’t feel that way. Outside of work, I rarely even see him, and we don’t talk about anything but the merger. I have no idea who he is these days, and he has no interest in showing me. I should be grateful for it, but the more time passes, the more it just leaves me feeling disappointed and empty.
“Sell it if you think that’s the right decision,” I tell him, my voice soft, defeated. “There’s no point in hanging on to things that are costing us, purely because of the memories attached to them.”
Zane searches my face and places his tablet on my desk. “I thought you’d fight me on this. That hotel was at the top of your list of assets you wanted to keep.”
My heart squeezes tightly, hurt searing through it. “You knew it meant something to me, but you still want to sell it.” I look away and inhale shakily. It makes sense, of course. Why should he care about my preferences when it’s his business that’ll suffer for it? The way he sees it, I’ve already cost him enough. “Just get rid of it, Zane.”
“Whether I like it or not, you have an equal stake in this business. I can’t sell it unless you sign off on it too.”
I glance at him, noting his uneasiness. “I’ll sign,” I reassure him, before tearing my eyes away.
Zane steps closer to me and grabs my chin, forcing me to face him. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been like this for days now. Am I really supposed to believe you suddenly don’t care about the property you fought to keep? What’s going on?”
I meet his gaze and hold it, tired of hiding. “Does it matter?”
Zane studies me carefully and sighs before letting go of my chin to cup my face instead. “What if I tell you it does, Celeste? Would you believe me if I tell you I’m beginning to worry about my wife? That I’m messing with you because I thought you’d care enough about this little hotel to snap out of the mood you’ve been in?” I lean into his touch, longing overwhelming me. “I don’t know how to handle this listless version of you, Celeste. I want the woman who fights with me every second of every day, the one who won’t let go once she’s set her mind to something.”
I take a steadying breath when his thumb brushes over my bottom lip, a deep need settling in my chest. “I thought you hated that woman.”
He lets his hand fall away, and I miss his touch instantly. “I thought I did too.”
