I glance at Sierra, who’s seated on the counter next to her stove, and snatch the cheese she’s eating out of her hands. “Not only did you demand I come over to cook your favorite cheesy macaroni with no less than six different cheeses, but you’re also eating all the ingredients.”
She crosses her arms and glares at me. “If you cooked quicker, I wouldn’t be hungry enough to steal your stupid, precious ingredients. How hard could it be? Why is it taking so long?”
I stare at her with a deadpan expression. “Sierra, it’s been ten minutes.”
She huffs, and I bite back a smile. My sweet little sister is more irritable than usual today, and I suspect it has everything to do with Celeste. I knew something was up when she requested comfort food, but the way she keeps glancing at me with questions in her eyes confirms it.
“Just ask,” I murmur as I melt together the different varieties of cheese she asked for, creating a sauce I perfected for her.
“Ask what?”
I smile at the pan and shake my head. “Whatever it is that makes you look at me like that. If you’re worried about her, you’re welcome to ask me how she’s doing, but I won’t volunteer any information about her.”
It’s interesting to see how much my sister still cares. That’s the thing with Sierra — once she lets someone into her heart, it’s forever. I suppose we have that in common. “Well…h-how is she?”
I’d been prepared to reassure her, but one look into her worried eyes, and the words lodge in my throat. “She misses you.”
Sierra looks away, but not before I glimpse a hint of torment. “Oh.”
I bite down on my lip, uncertain. “She cried herself to sleep two weeks ago, and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever witnessed such heartbreak before. It wasn’t me she was crying over, Sierra.”
She wraps her arms around herself and takes a deep, steadying breath. “Two weeks ago… that’s when she brought me cookies.”
I nod slowly. “She mentioned something about that,” I mutter, a hint of jealousy taking root deep inside my chest. Out of all the vows she decided to break, this is the one she won’t. It hurts to know her loyalty to my sister outweighs the loyalty she should’ve shown me.
Sierra stares at me, her gaze conflicted. “Did you really tell Celeste you don’t want her as your wife?” I freeze, my eyes snapping to hers. “She said you’d asked for a clean break when your time is up and reassured me she wouldn’t intrude in our lives.”
“I thought you two talked about cookies?”
Sierra wraps her arms around herself, her expression pained. “Did you?”
I nod hesitantly.
“Did you mean it?”
I stare at the pan in front of me, unable to face my sister. “I meant the words when I said them.”
She brushes her hair behind her ears and stares ahead, looking as lost as I feel. “Do you still?”
My mind drifts back to the pain in Celeste’s eyes when I told her I didn’t want my future wife having to step into her shoes. I’m not even sure why I said it — I don’t see myself ever getting married after her. It wasn’t my intention to wound her, not consciously, at least. I’m not sure what happened. The night we shared made me feel more vulnerable than I’d anticipated, and I’d known it couldn’t last.
“You’re falling for her again, aren’t you?”
I snap out of my daze and look up at Sierra. “No.” How could I fall in love with someone I never fell out of love with? That was what I’ve always hated most, that I love her despite everything she did to me.
“She framed you for corporate espionage and had you arrested,” Sierra reminds me, her voice breaking. “She took every project you’d worked on together and weaponized it.”
“I know,” I murmur, exhausted. “What she did isn’t something I’ll ever forgive, Sierra. I’m just saying I get where she was coming from. I won’t forgive her for the way she smiled at me and kissed me while planting fake evidence, the way she fell asleep next to me and dreamed of my downfall. I never saw it coming.”
I empty Sierra’s box of macaroni in the pan, my anger burning hot. “Do you have any idea how happy I was that she’d finally snapped out of her daze? For weeks, she’d either been drowning in her grief or accusing me of something I didn’t do, so when she finally seemed like herself again, I’d felt so relieved. I thought she’d started to see reason, that she was starting to listen… but it was all an act. I’d been preparing to walk away from everything, had accepted I’d be disowned for loving her.” I smile humorlessly, my heart heavy. “I’d already bought her a ring, you know? Designed it myself and had Laurier craft it for her.”
“Zane,” Sierra whispers, and I look at her, pure heartache holding me in its grip.
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to look into the eyes of the woman you love more than anything, and realize she never loved you the same? No matter what happened, I could never do to her what she did to me. I’d have walked away and ended things. I never would’ve hurt her like that — and that’s why it can’t ever work between us. She doesn’t have any faith in me, in us, and I don’t trust her. Even if she fell back in love with me, I’d never be able to trust that her feelings are real, that she wouldn’t destroy us the next time someone accuses me of something. Each time she smiles at me, I wonder if it’s even real, or if it’s another act. I can’t live like that, not even for her.”
