“What are you doing?” Zane asks, and I whirl around in surprise, my eyes widening when I realize he’s home. “You’ve been pacing in the hallway for ten minutes, Celeste.”
I stare at him blankly. He’s been doing this more and more often lately — coming home a little earlier than usual. Zane hasn’t eaten with me since the day we nearly burned the dinner we’d been cooking, but he’s no longer avoiding me entirely. He’ll walk in just as I finish eating the dinner our housekeeper made, and we’ll make some small talk about the upcoming conference we’re hosting before he heads to his home office.
For the last three days, he’s even been coming to bed before I fall asleep, whispering goodnight before turning away from me, leaving me staring at his broad back and wishing I could press my face against it and hug him tightly.
“I… um… your grandmother asked me to come volunteer at the soup kitchen she hosts in our hotels,” I tell him, my words tumbling out in a rush when I realize I’ve just been staring at him blankly for a few moments.
Understanding crosses his face. “Sierra and Raven will be there,” he murmurs, nodding. I glance down at my feet, quietly wondering if he remembers that this is the charity event they’d brought me to in their attempts to help me win over Grandma Anne. It hurts to know if I go there now, it’s the two of them who wouldn’t want me there.
Zane walks up to me and gently brushes one of my curls behind my ear. “Come on. I’ll drive you. Which hotel is it at this month?”
I look up at him in surprise. “The Lacara.”
He nods and wraps his hand around my waist as he walks me out. He’s doing that a bit more often now, touching me when it’s just the two of us, and no one else to pretend for. Zane walks me to the passenger seat and opens the door for me. I glance up at him, my heart skipping a beat. Does he realize he’s started to do that again?
It’s becoming harder to hold on to the pain and hatred I entered this marriage with. I could never forget, not fully, but more and more, I find myself wanting to. The guilt is fading, replaced by a longing for happiness — the kind I’ve only ever felt with him.
Zane’s hand wraps over my knee as he drives me to the hotel, his thumb drawing soothing circles. “Why are you so kind to me lately?” I ask, my voice breaking.
He glances at me and pulls his hand away, placing it back on the steering wheel. “I told you once that I wouldn’t spend years of my life in constant battle with you, and I meant it.” Zane glances at me then, a sweet smile on his face. “Is that okay with you, Celeste? Is it alright for me to show a little bit of kindness to my own wife?”
I look away, scared my emotions are written all over my face. I’ve never felt so conflicted before. I’m falling for him all over again despite my best attempts not to, and I’m not sure what to do about it. It feels like a sin, a betrayal, and I’m tired of feeling that way. I’m so desperate for the moments of happiness I feel with him, and their allure is becoming too hard to resist.
I wrap my arms around myself when he parks in front of The Lacara, one of the Windsors’ most luxurious hotels. Zane gets out of the car and jogs around it, startling me when he opens the door for me and offers me his hand.
I look into his eyes as I take it, and he smiles at me. “I’ll come with you. It’s been a while since I volunteered, and I’m free tonight.”
My heart warms, and he gently brushes my hair out of my face before pulling his hands away abruptly, like he realized he was touching me in a way he didn’t mean to. He throws me a smile before heading to the entrance, and I follow him in, my nerves increasing with each step I take. I’m not sure how to face Raven and Sierra, and I don’t want my presence to hurt them. I’ve started to come to family dinner every week, but they’ve gotten used to pretending I’m not there at all, and I’ve gotten used to keeping my eyes on my plate. I don’t want it to be that way, but I don’t know how to fix things either.
Zane glances back at me and sighs, his hand slipping into mine. I hold on to him tightly as we walk into the ballroom together, leaning on him for strength. Grandma Anne smiles when she sees me, but both Raven and Sierra’s expressions harden. Their eyes drop to our entwined fingers, and my entire body tenses. I move to pull my hand out of Zane’s, but he recaptures it before it slips away.
“Zane,” Grandma Anne says, her expression unreadable. “What a pleasant surprise,” she adds, her tone in contrast with her words. “I didn’t invite you.”
He shrugs and lets go of me to catch the aprons she throws at him. “This is my hotel. It’s not that surprising I’d be here.”
She rolls her eyes and turns away to give instructions to those around her, and Zane hands me one of the aprons. “Tie this for me?” he murmurs, and I nod as he turns around.
“Don’t you want to take off your suit jacket?” I ask as I grab the apron’s strings. He joined me impulsively and didn’t take the time to change into something he’d be more comfortable in. “You’ll get hot if you keep it on.”
He looks over his shoulder and grins at me, his expression mischievous. “Celestial,” he murmurs, his tone teasing. “If you want to undress me, you’ll have to wait till we get home.”
I part my lips in shock, and he chuckles as he straightens. It doesn’t occur to me until he’s tying my apron moments later that his playfulness helped me relax a little.
Raven whispers something to Sierra, and they both burst out laughing. It hurts, to see them together like that, knowing that once upon a time, I was one of them. Zane places his hand on my lower back and guides me toward them silently. “What can we help with?” he asks.
Sierra looks at me, and for the first time since I married Zane, her gaze isn’t filled with hostility. Instead, she just stares at me with a hint of uncertainty. “Help me make the soup base,” she says quietly.
I nod and jump into action straight away, Zane by my side. He stirs as I slowly add the ingredients, my hands trembling. “Careful with the salt,” she tells me. “Last time I overdid it a little, and I felt so bad. They kept telling me they liked it, but I know it wasn’t great. Many of our regulars look forward to these meals, so be careful.”
I look at her in surprise. “Of course,” I murmur, hoping I won’t mess this up. She hasn’t spoken this many words to me in a while, and even though I want to, I’m not sure how to keep the conversation going.
Raven glances over, her eyes roaming over my outfit. “That’s from my first collection,” she says, frowning as she stares at the embellishments on my sleeves. I pull my hand toward my chest, flustered. I’ve had this blouse for so long that I grabbed it without thinking. Raven smiles at me, genuinely, for the first time in years. “I’ll send you some of my newer stuff. You’re a Windsor now, Celeste. That means you’re now officially one of my unpaid brand ambassadors.” She hesitates and shakes her head. “But then again, you always have been, haven’t you?”
