I stare at the pile of clothes in our walk-in wardrobe, my mood souring further as I pick up a long black dress that just doesn’t seem quite right. Each time Grandma Anne asks me to attend a Windsor event, I end up overthinking every single aspect, scared I’ll mess up somehow.
I’m especially anxious this time, because the party we were asked to attend tonight is Lexington’s. Out of all of Zane’s siblings, Sierra and he are the ones that hate me most. Ares, Luca, and Dion don’t seem to like me much, but every time I see them, they’re polite — not as warm and welcoming as they used to be, but they’re kind. Lex, on the other hand, seems convinced I’ll bring harm to his family. Even Sierra has warmed to me more than he has. The worst part is I can’t blame him for thinking it. All I can do is try to not make his impression of me worse.
“You can’t wear that.”
I whirl around and raise a hand to my chest in surprise at the sound of Raven’s voice, dropping the black dress I was holding in the process. Raven sighs as she walks in wearing a stunning deep red gown with intricate beading and lace — her signature craftsmanship obvious at a glance.
She holds up a garment bag and hands it to me. “I dress every member of our family at all of our events. That includes you too, Celeste.”
I take the bag from her with a heavy heart, regret rendering me speechless. There’s so much I need to say to her, but the words are lodged in my throat. “Thank you,” I whisper, my voice breaking.
She stares at me for a moment and sighs. “I see how hard you’re trying, Celeste… but if you truly want to make amends, just make him happy. Give Zane back the happiness you took away when you left.”
Hurt cuts through my chest, and I nod, my eyes filling with tears. “I want to.” The confession pains me for reasons she’ll never understand, but it’s true. The longer I’m married to Zane, the more I just want him to look at me without any trepidation, without that guard he always keeps up. I want the endless laughter, the playfulness, the intimacy. I fall asleep next to him every day, yet every morning I wake up missing him a little more, even when he’s right by my side.
Day by day, I’m doing exactly what Lily accuses me of in my nightmares — I’m forgetting her and moving on with Zane. Each time I’m reminded of that fact, it takes away every bit of happiness I’ve allowed myself to feel, every new memory we’ve created instantly becoming tainted.
Raven runs a hand through her long sleek hair, her expression betraying the conflict she feels. “He loves you, you know? I don’t think he ever stopped.”
I stare at her in disbelief, and she smiles at me, her gaze filled with so much hope. She turns to walk away, only to pause in the doorway and throw me a reassuring look before she walks out.
Love. We’re so far from it. I know what it’s like to be truly loved by Zane Windsor, to be the center of his universe. Nothing compares to it. Zane doesn’t love me, not the way he once did.
My heart aches as I carefully unwrap the dress Raven left me. It’s the same color as hers, but it’s a different model. I can just see tomorrow’s headlines already, showcasing her new collection on the Windsor girls. My nerves are drowned out by the weight of my regret as I get dressed, handling my beautiful gown with care. The very least I can do is represent Raven the way she wants me to — gracefully and respectfully.
I remember when Raven’s couture brand was nothing more than an idea, a pipe dream, and now I’m standing in front of the mirror in one of her priceless dresses. It feels bittersweet to be so proud of someone I don’t really know anymore, not the way I used to.
“Ready?”
I turn around, and Zane’s eyes widen. “Fuck,” he whispers, mussing up his hair as his gaze roams over my body. He takes a hesitant step toward me, and I meet him halfway, my heart racing as Raven’s words echo through my mind. I know it isn’t love, but when he looks at me like he wants me more than anything, it feels like it could be.
Zane takes a deep breath and gently trails over the curls that frame my face. “My wife is so fucking beautiful,” he whispers, and I smile up at him when his eyes widen just a fraction, like he hadn’t meant to let the thought slip.
He clears his throat and releases my hair. “We should go. There’s a limousine waiting for us.” His expression shutters closed, and loss washes over me. These glimpses he gives me are addictive, and with each day that passes, I find myself getting a little more greedy.
Zane sits opposite me on the way to the venue, and every few seconds, he glances at me, almost like he can’t help himself. I smile, some of my unease settling. There’s something so soothing about having his attention — it drives the butterflies in my stomach wild. “You look like a fucking goddess,” he says eventually, sounding tormented.
“And you, husband dearest… you look like you want to fuck your goddess.” I smile, unable to keep from teasing him. Moments like these just make my day, perhaps even my whole week.
Zane chuckles, and the sound makes my heart skip a beat. He shakes his head admonishingly and grabs my hand, entwining our fingers. “I will, Celestial. Remember that as every man in the room vies for your attention tonight. It’s my bed you’re ending up in. You’re mine. When the night is over, I’m the one that’ll take that dress off.”
The possessiveness in his gaze brings a blush to my face, and my heart begins to beat faster. “Then you’d better remember who you belong to, Zane. As countless women ask you for a dance, remember, I’m the one who wears your ring.”
He grins at me as the car comes to a stop, looking surprisingly pleased with my words. The door opens, and Zane steps out of the car. Cameras begin to flash, and I panic, nearly tripping in my high heels as I follow Zane out of the car. He chuckles and kneels on the red carpet, sending the reporters into a frenzy as he straightens out my dress before rising to his feet. “Mrs. Windsor,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible over the reporters shouting questions at us. “I’ve always been yours.”
My eyes widen, and a bashful smile lights up his face as he pulls me along, ignoring everything and everyone around us. Zane does this to me — makes me feel like I’m in a bubble he crafted just for us, one where nothing can touch us and giddiness drowns out everything else. More and more, I find myself wishing these moments could last, like they used to.
“By the way,” Zane tells me, his hand wrapping around my waist as he guides me through the ballroom. The crowd parts for him, and he doesn’t even notice it. “Lex thinks we haven’t realized he’s been naming his cars so the initials spell WINDSOR backward. We’re all betting on how long we can pretend not to know before one of us spills the beans, so don’t breathe a word about it.” I bite back a smile, and he chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. “The model we’re on right now is called Diana, and we barely managed to prevent him from naming it Deluca, because he thought it’d be funny for Luca to have a car called The Luca. The two of you have always come up with dumb ideas each time I left you unsupervised, so do not egg him on this time.”
I press my lips together to keep from laughing, and Zane pauses to look at me, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Deluca?” I repeat. “Is he serious?”
Zane nods, and I burst out laughing as he pulls me closer, his hand moving to my lower back. I wrap my arms around his neck, unable to stop laughing and loving the way he’s grinning back at me. “Lex said it’d be funny to automate the system so he could order his Deluca car to do weird shit. He even gave us a demonstration, and I thought Luca was going to have a fucking heart attack when Lex said ‘Deluca, who’s a good boy?’ and the AI system replied ‘Deluca is a good boy, mighty Lex, my beloved creator!’ The best part? It was in Luca’s voice!”
Zane bursts out laughing at the memory, and we just stand there, our arms wrapped around each other, neither of us able to stop laughing. “Mighty Lex?” I repeat, trying my hardest not to burst into a fit of giggles all over again.
Zane chuckles, the look in his eyes changing as his gaze roams over my face. He sighs happily and cups my cheek with no regard for the packed room we’re in. His thumb brushes over my bottom lip, and he stares at me with an intense longing that leaves me breathless. Do these moments between us feel as significant to him as they do to me?
He pushes his thumb against my lips, lust flickering through his eyes as his free hand wraps into my hair. A needy whimper escapes the back of my throat when he pulls me closer, his lips finding mine.
I rise to my tiptoes to kiss him back, holding on to him tightly, desperately. Something that feels this right can’t be wrong, can it? Zane pulls back a fraction, only to kiss me all over again, like he knows we should stop but just can’t make himself. He captures my bottom lip between his teeth and grazes it teasingly before pulling away, his forehead brushing against me, and his breathing as ragged as mine. “Let’s just go home,” he whispers, his voice tortured. “Fuck it, Celestial. Lex releases a new car every year anyway.”
I laugh and lean back in his arms to look at him. “We can’t,” I murmur, my hand slipping into his. He sighs reluctantly as I pull him along, and when I look over my shoulder, I find him staring at my ass longingly. A soft giggle bursts from my lips, and I tighten my grip on his hand. “Just a few hours. Then I’m yours.”
He hums and squeezes my hand. “You’re already mine, Mrs. Windsor. You always have been.”
My heart warms, and he smiles at me as we navigate the crowd. “Let’s go congratulate Lex,” he says, and I nod, my cheer fading away when I spot him across the room. The way he looks at me makes me want to shrivel up inside myself. Lex’s expression tells me I’m not worthy of his brother, and I never will be. He doesn’t know the full story, but I suspect even if he did, he wouldn’t feel any different.
I smile tightly and stand to the side as the two men hug, feeling entirely out of place. Some guy I vaguely recognize makes a beeline for Zane, clearly eager to capture his attention for a few moments, and Zane glances at me to make sure I’m okay. I nod and tip my head toward one of the servers carrying champagne to indicate I’ll grab one.
“I’ll get it,” Lex says, beckoning one of the servers closer. I raise a brow, a tight smile on my face. He hands me a glass, and I take it gingerly.
“Congratulations on the new car,” I tell him, trying my best to show him my sincerity. He frowns, irritation flashing across his face, and it just makes me even more nervous. “I saw you managed to develop the AI system you were dreaming about a few years ago, and it’s honestly so impressive. It feels so real, and every time I ask anything at all, it gives the most natural response. I’ve tested it extensively and it hasn’t failed to understand my questions once. I made it park my car for me the other day, and it worked flawlessly.”
His gaze softens, and I press on, unable to stop rambling. My need to fill the silence between us is overwhelming, and though I wish I could just stop, I can’t help it. “I also saw you managed to bring renewable energy to 70% of the countries you’d wanted to, and it’s amazing how you’ve been able to bring both electricity and the internet to remote places that never had it. I always wondered if Sierra and you managed to make your mother’s dream come true, you know? Windsor schools in places that needed it the most. I mean… if you’ve put in the infrastructure, she’s probably already building the schools, right? Of course she is.”
Lex raises a brow and knocks his champagne back. “How do you know about that?” he asks, his tone only slightly friendlier. “We don’t advertise those charity efforts.”
I smile nervously and clench the stem of my glass in an effort to stop trembling. “How could I not? I developed a lot of those plans with you and still wanted to turn them into a reality. By the time I had the funds to start implementing our ideas, I found that it’d already happened. It couldn’t have been anyone but you.” I look away and inhale deeply. “Besides, despite everything, I still consider you family. Just like I always know what Archer is up to, I always kept an eye on you too.”
Lex stares at me for a moment, his expression disarmed. “How long left?” he asks eventually, his tone firm and so unlike the playful tone he uses with his siblings — the one I’d gotten used to and taken for granted.
I look away in an attempt to hide the pain his words cause, a fake smile on my face. “Two years and one month,” I answer, knowing exactly what he’s asking about.
“I need you to stay gone this time,” he says. “I saw the two of you just now, and I’ll be damned if I let you hurt him again.”
Anger mixes with my heartache, and I glare at him. “Zane isn’t the only one who got hurt,” I snap. “Did you ever think about what he must’ve done for me to retaliate the way I did? You always said I was like a sister to you, but when it comes down to it, those were just empty words, weren’t they? You’d never treat Sierra this way if she suffered through what I did.”
He smiles humorlessly. “Don’t compare yourself to Sierra,” he tells me, his voice hard. “Consider this a warning, Celeste. Hurt him again, and I’ll personally make you face the consequences.”
I take a step back, sharp pain tearing through my broken heart. “I won’t,” I tell him, my tone conveying my torment. “I can’t hurt your brother even if I wanted to. Despite what you think you saw, he wants me gone as much as you do. What you’re seeing is him making the best of a bad situation, and don’t worry, Lex. He never lets me forget it.”
