AS LATE AS it was when we made it back to the house, the exhilaration of our victory thrummed through the air too thickly for any of us to think about sleeping just yet. Blaze grabbed a plate of leftover pasta from the fridge and dug in while he started sifting through the data on the devices we’d grabbed from the Blood Hunter’s men. Garrison cracked open a beer and joked with Talon.
“They were so utterly unprepared to deal with anyone who isn’t already tied up and beaten into submission,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Some henchmen.”
Even Talon offered a rare smile. “I’m glad we got the chance to show them what real opposition looks like.”
Only Julius remained a solemn presence in the midst of our minor celebration. He stood by the sofa, still and watchful in a way that stopped my spirits from lifting too much.
“Let’s not get too proud of ourselves,” he said. “We’ve made one step forward after a lot of setbacks, and we have no idea how the Blood Hunter is going to respond.”
“Well, I’m responding right now by enjoying the fact that we screwed him over majorly,” Garrison retorted, and took another swig of his beer.
Julius shifted on his feet, and I noticed how his hand had clenched at his side. My stomach twisted. As the man in charge, the risks of any given operation always weighed on him the most, and I’d seen how frustrated he was getting in our quest against the Blood Hunter. But I didn’t think it’d do the other guys any good if he took out that frustration on them.
He’d lost a lot of his control over the situation we’d found ourselves in. Would he lose control over his own actions too?
It seemed better to head off that possibility, just in case. Anyway, my own nerves were still jangling as much from worry over the consequences of tonight’s raid as from excitement. I could probably use a breather too.
I sidled over to him and brushed my fingers over his arm. “Hey, can we talk for a minute?”
The crew’s commander glanced down at me from his substantial height, and I felt a little of the tension come out of his stance just at the thought that I might need his help—that I trusted him to deliver it. “Of course,” he said.
I led him over to the bedrooms, choosing my own since I didn’t want to impinge on his privacy without an invitation. I pushed the door shut behind us, and Julius peered down at me.
“Is something the matter?” he asked. “I know seeing those girls, relating them to what you went through yourself—it must be uncomfortable.”
I let out a huff of breath. “It was, but I’m working through those feelings. That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
He raised his eyebrows in question, but even that motion didn’t disguise the sober shadows that darkened his eyes from their usual deep blue to almost black. “What did you want to talk about then, Dess?”
I prodded his chest lightly with my forefinger. “I was wondering if something’s bothering you.”
Julius’s mouth pulled into a grimace. “What makes you think that?”
I arched my eyebrows right back at him. “I’ve gotten to know you pretty well. You seem to be having trouble appreciating the fact that we finally scored a win against the Blood Hunter tonight. Sure, we’ve got a long way to go before he’s no longer a threat, but don’t you deserve to take a little satisfaction in our victories when we have them?”
Julius sighed. Then he sank down on the end of my bed, swiping his hand over his face. Seeing the hint of vulnerability come into his expression when he was so often solidly impervious brought an ache into my heart.
We’d all been through a lot in the past several weeks, and it appeared to be weighing on Julius more than anyone except maybe me.
I sat down next to him, leaning against his well-built form. “You’re still the same great leader you always were, you know. None of us were prepared for what we’d find here. I sure as hell wasn’t.”
He let out a raw chuckle. “I guess the Blood Hunter has done a bit of a number on my head. I keep thinking that no matter what happened tonight, it could all have been part of his plans somehow. We could be right under his thumb, doing exactly what he expects of us, and there’s nothing we can do to get out.”
“I don’t really see how that’s possible,” I said. “I mean, even when he manipulated me into turning on my family, he approached me, he was feeding me information. Blaze had to pull out all the stops to follow the threads to that shipment of girls. It didn’t feel like information that’d been planted for us. How could he have known we’d find those small pieces and put them together or respond the way we did? This is the first time we’ve attacked any of his operations.”
“You’re right.” Julius sighed. “I’ll admit it isn’t a rational thought. I’m just not used to having the ground I’m standing on feel so shaky. I operate based on certainties and carefully weighed probabilities, and I don’t even have the latter now. How am I supposed to see this mission through and make sure all of you get through it alive when I can’t see even two steps ahead?”
Oh. Of course he felt responsible for all of us, given his position. But he really shouldn’t, not like this.
I nudged him with my shoulder. “We’re all in the same position. None of us expects you to be a human shield for the rest of us. I’m sure I can speak for the guys when I say we all know you’re doing the best you can to see us through this situation with what we have.”
“I should have more,” he said, his voice roughening.
“But you don’t,” I said gently, gazing up at him. This massive, powerful man who cared so deeply underneath the menacing exterior. The hard bulges in his arm pressed against mine, warming the most fundamental parts of me. “Sometimes you have to make a gamble with safety and outcomes when it’s really important, when you have no other choice. I’d bet the most important things are almost always a gamble.”
“I know that. But I built everything I am around controlling situations. My life. My career. My entire personality. It’s the way I make sure the right people survive and the people who deserve it suffer. Without that ability…”
I swiveled around to plant myself firmly on his lap so I could meet his gaze more fully. “Without that ability, you’re still just as skilled and smart as you’ve always been,” I insisted, resting my hands on the planes of his chest.
Julius’s gaze held mine, his hands moving to circle my waist instinctively. Heat tickled through my body with a sharper awareness of the position I’d put myself in, of how closely our bodies were aligned now.
He’d taught me a lot since I’d crossed paths with the Chaos Crew. Maybe there were a few things I could teach him too. Like how to relax into the idea of not being fully in control.
I shoved him backward, abruptly enough that he fell back onto the bed at my push. “What are you doing, Dess?” he asked, but his gaze had flared with desire. His fingers curled into my shirt, no doubt ready to tug me after him, but that wasn’t what I had planned here.
I braced my hands against his abdomen and smirked down at him. “I’m going to show you just how fun it can be when you let go of that obsessive need for control. For now, I’m the one giving the orders, and you’re going to follow them.”
Julius’s grasp on my shirt tightened. His internal struggle, the desire to claim me with his usual authority warring with his willingness to accept my declaration, played out on his face. Before he seemed to quite resolve it, I put my hands over his and took charge.
“Take my shirt off,” I demanded.
He was only too happy to oblige that command. Julius tipped forward to yank my shirt over my head and immediately reached to palm my breasts through my bra. I swatted his hands away.
“Oh, no. I’m calling the shots, remember. Next I want your shirt off.”
Julius glowered at me, but a lustful light had come into his eyes at the same time. The air of defeat that’d hung over him was fading, replaced by a growing enthusiasm.
He undid the top buttons on his Henley and all but tore it off. In its wake, I smoothed my hands over his bare chest and ground my hips against his groin. My sex pressed into the hardening erection beneath the fly of his jeans, and a gasp escaped my lips in time with his half-swallowed groan.
I pinched one of his nipples and grinned at the sound he made in response. “Now you can remove my bra,” I instructed him, rocking against him again. My own arousal was building between my thighs at the thrill of having this powerful man responding to my bidding. A flush warmed my cheeks.
Julius must have noticed it. He stroked quick fingers over the side of my face before unclasping my bra and tossing it aside. “What can I do for you now, seductress?” he asked, his voice even lower than usual with unspoken hunger. Maybe it turned him on seeing how much this switch in roles turned me on.
I dipped lower, letting my swaying breasts graze his chest. My nipples pebbled at the contact. “You stay right there,” I murmured. My lips brushed the side of his neck, the crook of his shoulder, marking increasingly emphatic kisses over his scorching skin.
Julius let out another groan, gripping the bed covers on either side of us as if he needed to hold on to them to stop himself from grabbing me and taking over. “Fuck, Dess,” he muttered when I flicked my tongue across his throat.
“Yes, that’s the general idea.” I eased up and lifted myself enough to tug down my leggings. The muscles in Julius’s arms flexed as he held himself back from caressing my thighs. I stroked my fingers along the path I suspected he wished he could follow and traced the line of my panties. “Do you think you can handle helping me remove these without doing anything else until I say so?”
“Whatever you wish,” he said in a tone so wry and heated that it sent the flush straight down to my core.
I edged closer, and he dragged the panties down my legs, his gaze fixed on the aching place he’d uncovered. I sank down over him again, opening the fly of his jeans. Julius let his hands come to rest on my hips. When he started to pull me closer against him, I shook my head with a tsking sound and pushed them back onto the covers.
“I’m in charge here,” I reminded him, and rubbed my sex against his cock where it strained against the fabric of his boxers.
“God, Dess, let me touch you,” Julius said, his composure unraveling.
“I think I can handle that for both of us to start with,” I teased, and dipped my hand between my legs. Julius’s eyes grew heavy-lidded as he watched me curl a finger right inside my molten core. His breath came out ragged.
Feeling his eyes on me while I stroked my own hand over the most sensitive parts of me where I’d let him go soon enough, I was ready to spontaneously combust. A whimper spilled out of my lungs. Every time I ground into Julius’s rigid cock, pumping my hand in time, he bucked upward to meet me. I couldn’t help but imagine how it would feel when I finally allowed him to thrust inside me. The utter pleasure of being filled completely…
At the thump of my bedroom door opening, I withdrew my hand and jerked around.
“I got a text from Steffie,” Garrison was saying. “It’s not urgent, but she wanted to check—”
When he looked up from his phone, he froze on the threshold, taking in our pose, my bare body poised atop Julius. His throat worked.
“Fuck,” he whispered with a rasp. “I didn’t realize—I can—’
“Stay,” I said before he could retreat. His gaze had set off a fresh flare of heat through my body. And why shouldn’t he join in? “The more the merrier.”
His gaze darted from me to Julius as if he needed the other man’s permission as well. I guessed that wasn’t surprising. I knew Garrison had insecurities about being the youngest and least established member of the crew, as deep as he liked to bury any vulnerability. He might talk a good game, but he wasn’t going to intrude on his boss if he thought it was a situation where he might cause real offense.
To my relief, Julius just smiled. “Get in here and close the door. She’s been driving me crazy. Maybe you can pay her back for me.”
Garrison’s expression relaxed, and he let out a chuckle as he shut the door firmly in his wake. “I’d be more than happy to take on that mission.”
I looked at Julius with narrowed eyes. “You’re taking control back in whatever way you can,” I scoffed. “I should have known.”
But Julius’s laugh sounded genuine enough that I didn’t really mind his minor mutiny. He had gotten to let go a little while I’d played with him. And now we could all have our fun.
Garrison had stripped off his clothes to match our state of undress. He stepped closer and rested his hands on my hips. Instinctively, I lifted my ass and pressed myself toward him. One of his hands slid up my waist and around my chest until his fingers gripped my chin, one pressing between my lips. I nipped it, sucking it into my mouth and releasing an intentional moan around it.
I hardly noticed when Julius’s hands came up, pulling me atop him with little effort. I ground into his erection and tugged his cock free from his boxers.
Garrison’s arm wound around my waist as I sucked his finger. He pulled me up slightly, allowing me to position Julius beneath me before dropping down, taking him into me in a fluid motion. Both of our shuddered breaths filled the room as I absorbed the sensation of the commander’s hard shaft filling me. Garrison’s lips came down on the side of my neck.
I sucked his finger harder, moving my hips back and forth over Julius. The older man clasped my hips again, but this time I grabbed his wrists and pinned them to his chest, giving him a scolding look.
“Garrison,” Julius said in a growl. “Finger her clit.”
The arm around my waist tightened, and Garrison trailed his other hand down without hesitation. He teased his fingertips over the spot most essential for my release. I leaned my head back on his shoulder, moving my hips in circles with Julius within me and Garrison drawing every additional bit of pleasure he could from my body.
I’d been planning on showing Julius how it felt to be out of control, but now all I wanted was to lose control myself. I bent my neck until my breath fanned across Garrison’s ear, reaching behind me at the same time to grasp his hardened cock.
“I want you in my mouth,” I whispered to him.
The arm around my waist rose and tightened, pressing lightly into my lungs as his arousal became obvious in every part of his body. He fingered me faster, and I matched his pace on Julius’s cock, bobbing my hips up and down in a flurry of motion. “I want to suck you off until you cum on my chest.” My voice was hoarse from the way he held me so tightly and the way that I unraveled at his touch.
I didn’t want to wait any longer to taste him. I lifted myself from Julius. Garrison’s arm fell away as I turned to face him, I planted myself back in position over Julius in reverse cowgirl style. As Julius thrust into me again, I opened my mouth with a gasp of pleasure.
“Fuck my mouth, Garrison,” I begged, dipping low, and he did. He planted himself against my lips, holding my chin as his shaft slid inside. The power I felt in that moment only grew as my release built and eddied, a roiling creature that could only be contained for so long.
I swiveled my tongue around him, and Garrison groaned his pleasure to the ceiling, his grip on my jaw tightening.
Julius’s hoarse voice carried through the room. “Pull her hair. She likes that.”
Oh, I certainly did. Garrison released my chin and took my hair in an iron grip, tighter than Julius had ever held it. He didn’t hold back as he bucked into my mouth, bringing a plethora of eager sounds from my throat.
It was then that Julius finally shuddered beneath my assault, thrusting himself deeper one last time. My release was so close—so damn close that I whimpered when he stopped. But Garrison, bless him, looked at Julius and yanked on my hair even harder. “It’s your turn to finger fuck her,” he demanded.
Julius did just that, the pulse of his fingertips bringing me right back to the cliff where I’d been hovering. When Garrison thrust into my throat again, I fell over that edge. Tumbled over it with no hope of escape.
I fell and cried my pleasure across his skin. I all but melted as Garrison, too, found his release against my chest.
I sagged over Julius, who rolled us onto our sides. Garrison clambered onto the bed to sandwich me between them. I nestled between their bodies, finally ready to give myself over to sleep with the afterglow reverberating through me.
There was definitely something to be said for giving yourself over to the moment and finding out where it could take you. If only all our endeavors along that line could be as enjoyable as this one.
