CARTER DIDN’T EVEN LOOK at me when I set down the hamburger and fresh water bottle I’d brought for him. We’d locked him up in the basement bathroom of the current house we’d broken into, a windowless underground space from which no shouts would be overheard. But he didn’t seem inclined to make any noise at all. He just glowered at the wall.
I couldn’t bring myself to care all that much about his reaction. I had bigger concerns on my mind.
“Don’t starve yourself,” I told him briskly, and shut the door on my way out.
On the first floor, behind boarded up windows that ensured no one would notice our presence, Julius and Talon were sprawled at one end of the small living room, their makeshift beds just a couple of feet from each other. The doctor Garrison had reached out to had offered us a couple of padded mats that normally adorned stretchers, and we’d laid sleeping bags on top of those to make the two men as comfortable as possible, but it didn’t feel like enough.
At the same time, how lucky were we that they’d survived this long at all? It’d been two days since the doctor had done his emergency surgery, stitching up the organs that had been torn by the bullets of Mr. Gordell’s security guards. By some small mercy, neither of them had faced heart or lung damage.
After Blaze and I had dropped the women we’d rescued off at a local shelter where they could get help, not sticking around long enough for anyone to ID us or ask questions, we’d retreated to a city a few hours away from DC to give Julius and Talon time to recover. We were hoping that the Blood Hunter wouldn’t be extending his search for us this far abroad, and for the time being our luck had held there too.
But for how much longer? The doctor had said that moving around after the first few days of bedrest would help speed their healing, but that they shouldn’t attempt anything more than brief, careful walks for the first couple of weeks. They weren’t likely to be ready for normal physical activity for at least a month. There was no way they’d be able to make a run for it or fight off attackers if anyone stormed this house.
We’d decided to stay here one more night to give them as much undisturbed rest as possible to begin with, and then to move to another hideout tomorrow morning. Then we’d be back to switching locations every day. Maybe we’d pull back even farther from the territory the Blood Hunter had been scouring for us, but my gut twisted at the thought.
As long as our greatest enemy was out there, we weren’t really safe no matter where we went. And the longer he continued to operate unchecked, the more time he’d have to recover from whatever damage we’d already done to his business endeavors and allegiances.
Julius and Talon had been awake on and off over the past day, though a bit hazy with the painkillers they were taking. They’d managed to eat and drink but not much. Right now, both men were dozing, their bodies unsettlingly slack under the light blankets pulled over their well-muscled forms.
I stood over them for a moment, confirming that their chests were rising and falling in a regular rhythm of breaths, that the sound of those breaths was soft and not strained. Then I glanced toward my other men.
Blaze was sitting cross-legged in the far corner of the room near a thin beam of sunlight that seeped past the plywood boards that covered the window there. He’d set up several alerts on his laptop that would sound the alarm if any concerning activity popped up on nearby traffic cams and the like, but he couldn’t seem to stop checking it manually too, maybe simply because he didn’t have much else to do. His genius didn’t extend to hacking the human body and programming it back into better working order.
He’d spent all yesterday digging through the files he’d stolen from various Blood Hunter operations and still hadn’t been able to come up with a definite solution that would destroy our enemy.
And Garrison… Garrison was pacing from one end of the room to the other, as he had been for most of the day. Guilt and frustration radiated off him so palpably it hung in the air like a cloud. My gut tightened even more, watching him.
I walked over, catching his hand just as he turned at the back of the room. He halted, blinking at me as if he’d forgotten I was here—that there was anyone in the room except him and his self-recriminations.
“Hey,” I murmured, keeping my tone light. “You’re going to wear a hole in the floor at this rate.”
He let out a quiet snort. “Like it’d matter if I did.”
I frowned, squeezing his hand and tugging him around to fully face me. “This isn’t your fault. You need to stop beating yourself up over what happened.”
His gaze darted up to meet mine, sharp with derision. “Are you kidding me? It’s all my fault. I left my post, and that was the only reason those guards managed to come up on the house and surprise us. If I’d been there—”
“If you’d been there instead of helping me, there’s a good chance I’d have been killed by the other guard,” I broke in. “How would that have been better?”
“Obviously it wouldn’t have been,” he muttered. “But I just assumed you needed my help. Why would you? You’re ten times the fighter I am. I got caught up in going to your rescue instead of sticking to the plan…”
I held his gaze firmly. “Garrison, I’ve been trained in combat since I was two years old, and I know I needed you there. I didn’t even realize that man was in the room until I heard you tackle him. In another second, he’d have shot me. And I didn’t have an easy time with the other guards who came at us, even with your help.”
He swiped his hand over his face. His expression still looked haggard. “It always happens,” he said in a voice so quiet I barely made out the words. “I get people hurt. That’s what I do. It’s always better if I just play the part I need to and forget what I really want or any ideas about who I actually am… At least then I can be sure I’m doing something useful.”
The words brought an ache into my chest. He’d told me about his family—how he blamed himself for the car accident that’d killed his parents and brother when he was just a kid. So many masks he’d worn to try to escape that old guilt, and this situation had obviously brought it blaring back to the surface.
I didn’t know what to say to him. I hardly knew how to argue against my own lingering emotional hang-ups. So I just wrapped my arms around him and hugged him with all the compassion I had in me.
Garrison hesitated and then let his arms rise to embrace me in return. His head bowed over mine, but there was still something despondent in his pose.
I had to say something. I groped for the right words. “It’s a dangerous job. We’ve all gotten hurt in the line of fire before. You’ve gotten hurt. That’s just how it goes, and it has nothing to do with who you are or how real you’re letting yourself be. The Blood Hunter put us in this awful situation, and you had to choose between two evils. There wasn’t any winning or any way to protect everyone. At least the way you chose, we all survived in the end.”
Garrison sucked in a breath, but he didn’t answer. I didn’t think I’d quite convinced him. As I struggled to think of how I could ease his pain, a rustling behind me drew my attention.
Julius and Talon were stirring on their makeshift mattresses. Talon rubbed his eyes and grimaced at the ceiling before reaching for the bottle of water we’d left next to him. Julius sat up gingerly and checked the bandage on his side, which was mercifully free of blood.
Inspiration sparked in my mind. I dragged Garrison over to the two wounded men. Blaze set down his laptop and meandered over too, bringing a bag from our stash of food in case they were hungry.
Julius eyed us contemplatively. He could probably sense the tension in the room as well as I could. I nudged Garrison. “Ask them if they think you did anything wrong?”
Garrison’s mouth flattened. Julius arched his eyebrows slightly. “Wrong when?” he asked in a voice that was only a little rough now. “Have you been getting into trouble while we’ve been napping?”
“No,” Garrison said tersely. “You know what she’s talking about. You saw that I left my post as lookout at Gordell’s house. If I’d been where I was supposed to be—where you ordered me to be—then I’d have seen the new squad coming. You wouldn’t have gotten shot, because we’d have been prepared.”
Talon propped himself up on his elbows, watching the proceedings in silence.
Julius looked at Garrison steadily. “Why did you have to leave your post?”
Have to. I noticed that even in the words he chose, Julius was indicating that he knew Garrison would never break from the plan without a damn good reason.
“It doesn’t matter,” Garrison said. “I—”
“Like hell, it doesn’t matter,” Julius interrupted. “Did you leave because you needed to piss? Did you get bored and decide to go elsewhere to join in on the action?”
“Of course, not—”
“Exactly. So why did you?”
Garrison’s jaw clenched before he answered. “Dess was being attacked. I wasn’t sure she could handle it on her own, so I jumped in.”
“Literally,” I piped up, unable to stay quiet any longer, especially when he was still using a tone as if he’d done something abominable. “And he almost definitely saved my life.”
“While almost getting them killed,” Garrison insisted.
“But we’re still here, and so is Dess, it sounds like thanks to your quick reaction.” Julius shifted his position with a wince he couldn’t totally hide. “Sometimes missions go sideways, and we need to think on our feet. You should know that better than anyone—you’re our main improviser, aren’t you?”
Garrison grimaced at him. “When I’m working people, sure. This was different.”
“Not as far as I can see. I’ve never expected any of you to follow my orders to the letter if you realize some other action needs to be taken to meet our main goal. And our most primary goal above all others is that we make it through to the other side. What you did accomplished that. We’re all still here. Do you really think I’d rather have come out of that mission uninjured but without Dess?”
“Of course not,” Garrison said without the slightest hesitation.
Julius’s mouth curled into a small smile. “There you go. You did good. I’m perfectly comfortable putting the full blame for this damned gunshot on the Blood Hunter, Gordell, and their minions. What do you think, Talon?”
The other man grunted. “I think the kid has delusions of grandeur if he figures he could have somehow played that scenario better.”
His voice was gruff, but the teasing wryness of the remark and his calling Garrison a kid seemed to relax the younger man more than anything anyone else had said. Garrison’s shoulders came down a smidge.
“Not that I expect you care all that much about my opinion, but I think you made the right call too,” Blaze put in in a typically cheeky tone. “Maybe the execution could have been a little smoother—”
“Blaze,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him, and he just grinned.
But Garrison seemed to lighten even more with Blaze’s jab. It was the way they communicated—the way the team worked in sync. I couldn’t really imagine Blaze responding any differently.
Looking at the four of them, my heart swelled with more emotion than I could ever remember feeling before. These men shared so much respect and loyalty, with bonds that only death could sever. They were a true family, and they’d let me join them so easily and with so much trust.
I didn’t think I’d ever stop being thankful for all of them.
I didn’t think I’d ever stop loving all of them.
I hadn’t been sure before that I was capable of love at all. I’d never experienced it, not really, so how could I know how it even felt? But in this moment, with the giddy warmth expanding through my chest, it seemed impossible that I could not love them—these gorgeous, supportive, dedicated men, brutal as they also were. I loved them all for different reasons, but I couldn’t deny the fact that I felt more for each of them than I’d felt for anyone else in my entire life.
They’d all expressed their commitment to me in their own ways. Why hadn’t I offered the same to them?
“Is something wrong, Dess?” Julius asked, studying my face.
“No,” I said, with a rush of exhilaration. “It’s very, very right.” The words spilled out of me faster than I could control them. “I love you. All of you. I’ve never felt the way I feel when I’m with you. I’d give up anything to keep you safe and happy, and I’m so proud to be a part of this crew. You’re all so strong and brilliant on your own, but when you come together, you’re unstoppable. It’s the most impressive thing I’ve ever seen.”
For a second, there was silence around me, but I felt no doubt about the reception to my admission. Blaze was beaming at me, Garrison flushed with what looked like pleased embarrassment. A hint of a smile touched Talon’s lips. Only Julius had sobered, but the gravity in his voice when he finally spoke only made his own confession sweeter.
“I love you too. God knows how much I’d be kicking myself if I’d died before I got to say it. I should have said it sooner.” He chuckled, some of his seriousness falling away. “Somehow I’m guessing I’m last to the party on that one. But I suspect we all started falling for you back in the very first moment you just about kicked our asses trying to escape us. There’s certainly no other woman in the world like you.”
To hear the man who ruled us all owning up to that passionate sentiment sent a thrill through me that propelled me to his side. I knelt down in the space between his mat and Talon’s and touched the side of his face.
“I admire your strength and the way you get yourself and the rest of us through everything the world throws at us. You give me the room to let go of my own need to be strong and in control so I can be part of a team instead of a lone wolf. I can always trust that you have a plan that’ll get us through whatever we’re facing. I feel safe when I’m with you.”
I leaned in and pressed my lips to his with a firm intensity. Julius kissed me back, resting his hand on my waist as if to draw me closer, but he released me when I eased back.
I turned to Talon, letting the subtle adoration in his icy blue eyes wash over me before teasing my fingers over his cheek in turn. “I’ve found you sexy from the first time I saw you pummeling a punching bag with all that honed strength and power. I’ve always been able to be my whole self around you without facing judgment. I love learning how to feel with someone who won’t judge me for trying, and I love seeing you doing the same.”
When I closed the distance to kiss him, the melding of our mouths was gentler than anyone other than me could have imagined this man was capable of, full of the emotion that flowed between us without restraint.
I straightened up and walked to Blaze next. His eyes sparkled as he gazed back at me. He opened his mouth as if to make his own proclamation, but I touched my finger to his lips to stop him. It was my turn.
“You never pushed me away, even though I lashed out at you when we were first getting to know each other. That optimism and the way you enjoy life, no matter what’s happening around you, is the reason I love you most. You’ve never tried to hide who you are or what matters to you, and you’ve helped me find things I’d lost that were hidden away inside me.”
Blaze wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me to him before pressing his forehead against mine. We held that position for a few beats of our hearts before I tipped my face to meet his lips. The moment was so sweet I had trouble pulling myself away.
But I had one more man to address. I turned from Blaze toward Garrison and curled my fingers into the front of his shirt.
“Now why on earth would I love you?” I teased, getting the smirk I was aiming for in return. When I pulled him to me so I could murmur the words right into his ear, his smile only widened.
“I love the way you can make me laugh even when I want to punch you,” I said. “And every glimpse I’ve gotten of the man behind the masks you wear has only made me love you more. I see so much of myself in you—in your anger and pain over losing out on a normal, happy life, in your determination to protect everyone in every way you can, even from yourself.”
Garrison drew my mouth to his and planted a kiss on me so electrifying that an eager quiver ran straight through me and heat pooled between my thighs. “I’d like to see myself in you,” he said slyly as he drew back just a few inches, and my desire seared even hotter.
“Sounds good to me,” I said, grinning back at him. “But I want the real Garrison. Show me all the affection and passion I know you’ve got in you. Your true emotions aren’t going to hurt anyone. They’ll only make me happier.”
His breath stuttered, and I felt the tension return to his body where it was aligned with mine. But only for a moment. Then he slammed his lips down on mine with a hunger I recognized and reveled in.
He devoured me, pulling up my shirt at the same time, only breaking the kiss for long enough to yank the fabric over my head. “I fucking love you,” he growled against my mouth, biting my bottom lip hard enough to provoke a gasp. “I’d fucking die for you, Dess. I’d do anything to hear that pretty little moan come from your lips.”
“Yes,” I said, kissing him back just as hard.
His hands dropped to my pants. When he flicked open my fly, I couldn’t help arching an eyebrow at him. “You don’t want to take your time?” I teased.
He only gave me a smug smile and yanked the jeans down my hips, allowing his fingers to trail down the outside of my legs. Blaze took a step closer to us and then paused, and I glanced over my shoulder at him.
“Don’t be shy,” I said, and then glanced at both Julius and Talon. “None of you need to be shy. We’re all in this together.”
“I guess I can handle sharing with this one,” Garrison groused playfully as the hacker set his hands on my bare waist. When Garrison reclaimed my mouth, Blaze stroked his fingers up over my sides. He unclasped my bra and cupped my breasts from behind, stroking my nipples until they pebbled against his touch. An encouraging whimper spilled out of me.
The gazes of the other two men blazed over my skin, but Julius had no inclination toward shyness, even if he couldn’t get all that physically involved in his current state. “You know she likes it rough,” he ordered. “I’d pinch those nipples until she can’t stand still.”
Blaze grinned against my shoulder. “Happy to oblige,” he said, and squeezed the tips of my breasts with increasing pressure. Imagining Julius standing with us, joining the encounter, had me squirming between Blaze and Garrison in no time flat.
Blaze applied his teeth as well, nipping the crook of my neck. As I gasped, Garrison trailed his hand down to my panties. His fingers dipped beneath the waistband and slicked over my core.
“Fuck, you’re already so wet,” he muttered, his breath washing hot over my skin. I shivered with pleasure and rocked into his touch, and he curled two fingers right inside me. Heady tingles flooded my body, and a needy growl escaped my throat.
Blaze looped one arm around my torso, still working over my breast with the other hand and nibbling along my neck with lips, tongue, and teeth. Garrison’s fingers plunged in and out of me in an escalating rhythm, his thumb flicking over my clit. I could already feel myself soaring toward release.
“Pull her hair, hard,” Julius ordered, his voice thickening with his own desire. Without missing a beat, Garrison brushed his other hand over the side of my head and grasped my hair with a sharp tug that had me moaning. He and Blaze were everywhere, and I could no longer differentiate the sensations—not as they both worked together to send pleasure rushing through me in waves.
But I didn’t want this moment to be only them. Even if Julius and Talon couldn’t join us on their feet, I wanted to bring them into the team effort as much as I could.
“Take me to Julius,” I murmured, and the two men who’d pinned me between them complied. Garrison eased down onto the floor between the two mats and drew me down with him while Blaze helpfully tugged off the younger man’s jeans. As I straddled Garrison and swayed against his erection, I bent sideways toward Julius’s lap.
The crew’s commander raised a hand to caress my hair. I shot him a warning glance. “Relax and let me do the work. This won’t be fun anymore if you open up that wound.”
“I’m in this too,” he insisted, but he didn’t push himself any farther. He just twisted his fingers into the dark strands as I unzipped his slacks. I freed his cock from his boxers, sliding my hand up and down the rigid shaft so he groaned.
At the same time, I sank down onto his cock with my mouth and Garrison’s with my sex. Garrison mumbled a curse and gripped my hips. Julius’s grasp on my hair tightened. His musky, masculine flavor filled my mouth. Garrison’s shaft hit the perfect spot inside me, and I was almost a goner just like that.
Blaze had stepped away for a moment, but he hadn’t abandoned the team. His warm frame leaned over me from behind, and his fingers dipped between my ass cheeks with a slickness I hadn’t expected. “I might have picked up a few… special supplies while we were grabbing everything else,” he said. “Just in case.”
I hummed my approval as he worked the lubrication over my other entrance, kneeling braced over Garrison’s legs. When Blaze’s dick aligned with my ass, I was more than ready. He slid into me gradually, adding to the pressure alongside Garrison’s cock. I moaned around Julius’s erection and then sucked so hard that his hand jerked in my hair.
The sweet pleasure of being utterly filled hit me as Garrison and Blaze thrust their hips in unison, Garrison’s hand slipping between us to fondle my clit as well. It was overwhelming all on its own, but Julius knew how to deepen my bliss even more.
“Fuck her harder,” he demanded in a rasp.
Garrison and Blaze bucked into me faster, deeper, and as the delight of their roughness rushed through me, I applied the same advice to my attentions to Julius. I wrapped my tongue around his shaft with increasing force, bobbing my head just as quickly as the other two men were pounding into me.
Julius’s hips jerked beneath me. Before I could feel more than a flash of concern at his movement, his fingertips twitched against my scalp and his cum gushed into my mouth. I swallowed it down, nearly delirious with the taste of his release while I careened toward my own.
But I wasn’t done yet. I gave Julius’s cock one last swipe of my tongue and swiveled toward Talon.
The other man had pushed himself more upright, bracing himself with one hand. He’d already pushed down his sweatpants, his other hand curled around his cock as he stroked himself while he watched the rest of us.
When I reached toward him, he grasped my hand and placed it over his erection, shaking his head when I started to dip lower.
“I want to see your whole face when you come,” he said raggedly. “I want to come with you while I see it.”
Oh, fuck, yes. I wrapped my fingers around his rigid length and stroked him hard and fast as Garrison and Blaze bucked into me with the same fervor. I had to hold on long enough to bring this fearsome fighter to the brink—but I was already spiraling so high on the swell of ecstasy that was building like a tsunami within.
Garrison flicked his fingers faster against my clit, slamming his hips up to meet mine. I glanced at his face, and the avid adoration etched across it tipped me over the edge.
I cried out, tipping forward and tightening my grasp on Talon. As the final wave of bliss crashed over me, a spurt of heated liquid flowed over my hand. Blaze’s chest hitched where he was bowed over me, and his heat flooded me as well.
Garrison groaned, his other hand digging into my thigh. With one last thrust, he came inside me. My mind shattered with one more burst of pleasure.
Blaze, Garrison, and I slumped together in a sweaty tangle of limbs and naked skin. Julius reached over to caress my shoulder, and Talon brushed his fingers down my side. A poignant sense of certainty settled over me.
I didn’t have a clue how we were going to survive our war with the Blood Hunter, but I knew beyond a doubt that despite the physical injuries we’d been dealt, we were stronger as a crew than we’d ever been before.
We couldn’t let him tear us apart. I simply wouldn’t let him.
