With Claire’s hand held in mine, we walked up the hill to our church.
“Just keep your eyes down.”
Claire looked at the ground, ignoring the Malevolent as they stared from their positions around the settlement. The world was so quiet that I could hear the hum of silence. The air was cold and wet, like a fog would thicken over the next few days, so it amplified the sound of nothingness around us. I’d never experienced anything like it, not even the quietest nights in Paris.
It was the sound of true silence.
“Why…why do they stare at us?”
“Because they’re freaks.”
“Are they…animals?”
“No. They’re a bunch of losers who wear costumes on their heads. Nothing to be scared of. Just a bunch of freaks.” I wanted her to understand what they really were, so she’d be less scared.
“They aren’t monsters?”
“No.”
“Because they’re scary like monsters.”
“They aren’t scary.” We stopped halfway up the hill, and I turned to one nearby, standing between two cabins. “Watch.” I dropped her hand.
“Wait, don’t go—”
“Let me show you not to be afraid.” I marched up the Malevolent, his eyes widening in his skull when he realized the speed at which I rushed him. He started to back up, tripping on the grass slightly. “Come here!” I sprinted to him and caught up, giving him a hard shove in the back.
He tripped forward and landed but quickly crawled away until he was back on his feet. He ran faster this time.
I turned back to Claire. “See?”
Her eyes shifted from me to the spot where he’d been a moment before, her face pale like the moon, but then the ease slowly started to seep into her face. There was even a hint of a smile—in her eyes.
I came back to her and grabbed her by the hand. “See? Losers.” We moved farther up the path and approached the church, passing the graveyard along the way. Unmarked headstones were there, the angels underneath forgotten, used and tossed.
These motherfuckers needed to die.
“Is Mommy okay?”
“Yeah, just tired.” I opened the door and let her inside first. Once the door shut, the Malevolent were hidden outside, the windows covered with another layer of pictures so their shadows were barely visible. “You want to color?”
“Yeah.”
I went to the supply closet and pulled everything out, letting her draw on the pages left in the book. There were illustrations of heaven and angels, and in the white space beside them would be a child’s illustration of a flower or a unicorn. “These drawings are really good.”
“Thanks. My dad said I could be an artist someday.”
“That’d be a pretty cool job.”
She flipped through the pictures, showing me the carousel at the Eiffel Tower, a café on a busy street, and a picture of her holding hands with her father.
“Those are really good, Claire.”
“I want to take them home to show Daddy.”
“Good idea.” I had no experience with kids, but she ripped my heart out of my body and stuffed it inside herself, so everywhere she went, she took it with her. I had so much empathy for Beatrice, having to suffer in such a horrific place with her daughter in tow. And I had even more for Benton, who believed they were both gone. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Want to talk to the girls.”
“Okay.” She stayed on the floor, working on her illustrations.
I moved to one of the seats, where Laura spoke to Nadine. They were the only ones in the church, but other angels would come since this was the only place where we could socialize together, at least in private. We had the right to travel the grounds and go where we wished, but was it worth it when those weirdos stared at us the entire time? “Hey.”
Laura grabbed my wrist and raised my hand toward her face. “What happened to your palm?”
There was a distinct scar across the skin, a wound that hadn’t quite healed properly, a gash that would probably always be visible. “I had to cut it for some strange fucking ceremony with my demon…” My life felt like an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, except I wasn’t some kick-ass heroine and there were no hot vampires. “So, we could come together…some shit like that.”
“That was fast.” Laura returned my hand to my thigh. “He’s already bound himself to you for eternity.”
“He’s going to hell, and I’m going to heaven. So…not eternity.”
“You know what I mean,” she said. “He’s convinced that you’re the real deal, that you can make him ascend.”
Ascend…attain humanity…it was all a bunch of weird-ass shit that I didn’t understand.
“Guess you’re a damn good actress.” Nadine watched me with her dark eyes, her dark skin beautiful and contrasting against the white gown she wore. The rest of us just looked washed-out. “What are you saying to him?”
I shrugged. “I honestly make it up as I go along, so I’m not sure. I guess it’s easy to speak freak.”
Nadine nodded to Claire on the other side of the church. “Where’s Beatrice?”
“Indisposed…so I’m looking after her daughter for a while.”
“Shit, what happened?” Laura asked.
“She met her demon for the first time the other night. Tripped her out on LSD and wasn’t convinced she was a real angel, so he carved into her back looking for her wings.”
Without saying a word, they showed how appalled they both were. Sometimes an expression could say it all.
“Yeah, we gotta get the hell out of here.”
“How is she now?” Laura asked.
“In a lot of pain…depressed.” She lay in bed, always on her side because it hurt too much to lie directly on her wounds. “She’s in no state of mind to take care of Claire, so I’m trying to keep her busy.” I glanced at Claire across the room, who was both oblivious to us and the shadows in the room. “When they took Beatrice…” I lowered my voice. “The Malevolent came inside and tried to feed Claire LSD.”
Laura released a gasp. “Jesus Fucking Christ…”
“What happened?” Nadine blurted. “Did she take it?”
I shook my head. “No. I killed him.”
“Sorry, come again?” Laura asked. “You killed him?”
“Yeah.” I pulled out the dagger, which I had on me at all times now. “Stabbed him in the stomach and chest.”
Laura was in disbelief.
Nadine was too, but she recovered quicker. “They didn’t punish you?”
I shook my head. “The Malevolent were there while it happened, and they didn’t stop it. Forneus knows I have the dagger but doesn’t seem to care.”
“What in the actual fuck?” Laura said. “So…can we kill the Malevolent? Let’s just do that.”
“I would be the first one to say hell yes, but…there’s so many of them.” I tucked the dagger away into my dress. “If we launch a full assault against them, I suspect there would be some kind of retaliation. They’re probably given rules they have to obey, but if it’s total anarchy, there will probably be repercussions.”
“What about the boat idea?” Laura said. “Are we still doing that?”
“I used to go fishing on my dad’s boat,” Nadine said. “I might be able to help…somewhat.”
“I’m not sure. I’m still thinking. It’s been getting really cold, and the air is getting thick…”
“As in, it’s too cold to run for it?” Laura asked. “We wait until spring?”
“No,” I said quickly. “We can’t wait around. Beatrice probably won’t live that long, so we can’t wait. You know those mornings when it’s so foggy that you can’t see more than a couple feet in front of you? I’m thinking we wait for that…and just walk out of here. They might not see us, and by the time they realize it and the fog fades, they won’t know where to look.”
“That’s not bad,” Nadine said.
“But if we can’t see where we’re going, we could fall into a lake or walk off a cliff,” Laura said.
I shrugged. “There’s no escape that’s not risky. We fight them—that’s risky. We run for it—that’s risky. We take boats down the river—it’s all risky. Honestly, some of us won’t get away. Some of us will probably die in the attempt. But staying here isn’t an option, so we have to take that risk. I’m not going to sit around any longer than I have to. I have to get Claire the hell out of here.”
Laura dropped her gaze, releasing a heavy sigh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“We die if we stay…and we might die if we leave,” Nadine said. “So, we wait for the fog?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I said. “In the meantime, I’ll do some exploring and try to figure out the best way to go.”
“That won’t be suspicious?” Laura asked.
“I have a dagger on me, and they don’t seem to think it’s suspicious. We seem to have all the power over the Malevolent and Rebecca and the other servants. Even with the demons…to a certain extent. I say we use that to our advantage for as long as we can.”
“Forneus requests his angel.” Rebecca stood with the poise of a nun, her hands together in front of her stomach, still looking at me with that sheathed hostility.
“I know the way.” I shut the book I was reading and got out of bed. “Don’t need to show me every single time.” I went to the closet and yanked out my gown with the wings, treating it like a rag instead of an expensive piece of clothing that probably took hours to make by hand.
She watched me as if I hadn’t said a word.
I hated Amon for what he’d done to Beatrice, but I hated this bitch just as much.
The panels separating our rooms were open, Beatrice asleep on the bed, spending all of her time in and out of consciousness, either because she was tired or lost the will to go on. “Hold on.” I walked past Rebecca into the other room.
“I said your demon is waiting—”
“And he can wait another thirty seconds.” I ignored her and went to Claire, who was on the floor with her toys.
She looked past me to Rebecca, knowing exactly what her presence meant. “You’re leaving?”
I nodded. “I won’t be gone for long. But remember what I told you?” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “If they try to give you that pill?”
She nodded.
“Good.” I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the forehead before I went to Beatrice at her bedside. “I have a feeling I’ll be gone until morning…”
She opened her eyes and looked at me, just as lifeless now as she’d been days ago. The wound couldn’t hurt that much anymore, but she’d clearly lost the will to live.
“I’m going to leave my dagger under the mattress if you need it, alright?”
She only gave a slight nod.
I left the girls and joined Rebecca outside, the icy air hitting me with a sting. How long had I been here? Fall had turned into the onset of winter, and every breath was like an ice pack against the lungs.
We went up the hill like we usually did.
But we didn’t go to the black church.
“Where are we going?”
Rebecca kept up the lead and ignored what I said.
“Hey, I asked you a question.”
Silence.
Shit…I should have brought the knife. “Do you get paid to work here or…?”
“Get paid?” Finally got a reaction out of her. “No. I’m here because it’s an honor to serve the angels.”
“An honor? Really? Because it seems like you hate me just a tad…”
She finally halted in her tracks.
Some of the windows in the cabins glowed from light and fireplaces, and it was somehow more eerie picturing the Malevolent in their cabins, their skulls off, watching TV like regular people, like they weren’t freaks.
She pivoted and looked at me, her eyes failing to hide her disdain for me. “You’re an angel, and you take it for granted. You’re ethereal. You’re blessed. You’re beautiful. And you take it all for granted.”
“Look around you. Does this look like a vacation to you? My friend had a knife carved into her back. And I take this shit for granted?”
She stared, her eyes narrowed, her anger palpable.
I hadn’t seen it before, but now I saw it so clearly. “You want to be an angel…”
She turned around and continued forward.
“That’s why you’re doing this…because you think they might promote you to angel status? Is this a Victoria’s Secret?”
She kept walking.
“You don’t want this. Trust me. It sucks.”
She ignored me for the rest of the walk, stopping in front of a set of large cabins in the rear.
I recognized this area was different because the statues were different. Each one was large, bigger than the ones near my cabin, and they each depicted an individual demon. I stared at the one in front of the cabin, seeing a monster with gnarly teeth, several sets of arms and legs.
Just like in my last hallucination.
My heart dropped into my stomach, because I’d never seen this statue before, but I saw in my dreams…saw it right in front of me as clear as day.
“He’s waiting.” Rebecca stood at the door to the cabin.
I pulled my gaze away from the cabin and came close, anxiety flushing my skin, the terror gripping my every muscle. This was his private quarters, and there was only one reason he’d want me in a room with a bed.
Rebecca opened the door so I could step inside.
Hardwood floors. A roaring fireplace. It was cozy.
But terrifying.
Rebecca waited.
I’d left my knife behind for Claire. But I had a feeling I was the one who needed it tonight.
I sucked in a breath and crossed the threshold.
Rebecca shut the door.
But she didn’t lock it.
Forneus was on the couch in front of the firelight, in his sweatpants, totally jacked. Rivers of veins were all over his shoulders and arms, up his neck, the muscles were so big and the skin was so tight over the surface. He could probably pick up one of those statues and throw it at me, he was so strong.
I stood there, unsure what to do.
It was a living room with couches and a rug, a large hearth for the fireplace. There was no TV. Just a bookshelf with books that had the same titles as the ones in my bedroom. There was a hallway that probably led to his bedroom and bathroom.
It was strange to see him in a setting so…normal.
Forneus stared at me, the firelight highlighting this face, illuminating every detail of his expression. He was a handsome guy, with a sharp jawline, masculine features, intelligent eyes. But instead of enjoying his attractiveness, he decided to start a cult…and destroy lives. “S-sit.”
I hated that shit. It was like he was speaking Parseltongue from Harry Potter. I didn’t want him to say that again, so I sat on the couch across from him, uncomfortable because of the present company as well as the bulky gown and annoying wings that were always in the way.
His stare continued, endless, taking me in like I’d really descended from the heavens to spend this evening with him.
My eyes glanced down the hallway, afraid that’s where we’d end up.
What would I do if that’s what he wanted?
I’d fight—even if it got me killed.
“Did you heal the angel?”
A conversation had never begun that way, with a personal question. It was always some stupid shit about divinity and forgiveness. “Yes. She’s doing better…for the most part.”
He leaned against the back cushion of the couch, his hands planted on his thighs, still like the statues outside.
“Why did you help me?”
The smile started. It stretched. Grew bigger. Wider.
I hated to look at it.
“Because you asked me to.”
What else could I ask him to do? I dropped my gaze because the smile was too grotesque. It wasn’t endearing or charming. It practically dislocated the bones in his face. “What else can I ask you to do?”
“Anything.”
My eyes shifted back to him. “Why?”
“Because you’re my an-gel.” He moved his arms to the back of the couch, spreading them apart, taking up more space on the furniture. His size was immense, like an ox or a stallion.
“So…would you let me go?”
His smile remained, every single tooth in his mouth visible, like he was in a dentist’s office getting his X-rays taken. “You’re free to come and go as you please as-s I’ve already s-said.”
I was in the middle of nowhere with no reasonable transportation. Having permission to leave was no way to attain freedom. “Will you take me back to Paris and let me go?” Was it really that easy? Just to ask to be released?
His smile went in reverse, slowly fading, returning to his cold hardness. “Yes.”
What? Was he lying? “You would just do that…right now?”
“It’s dark. Cold. Dangerous. But if it’s what you command, then yes.”
What I command? Was this a trap? “Then I want to leave first thing in the morning.”
There was no reaction.
“And I want to take the rest of the angels with me.”
He stared for a long time, his eyes shifting to different parts of my face, from my eyes to my cheeks to my lips. “That is something I cannot grant.”
“You said I could ask you for anything—”
“And you can. But they aren’t my angels. Only you are.”
If this wasn’t some sick game or a trap, I could get out of here by morning. They would probably drug me again so I wouldn’t know the way, but I could go straight to the police and tell them about this insane cult. I could save everyone else. It was the perfect plan. “Then take me in the morning.”
“Yes, An-gel.”
The anxiety was worse now, because I had to be missing something here. It couldn’t be that easy. It just couldn’t. “Why are you willing to let me go?”
“Because you’ll always be my an-gel—wherever you are. I will still worship you. I will still confess my sins to you.”
So, he’d stalk me again. At my apartment. In the street. Until I got him locked up for good. That was fine, because I would go straight to Benton, tell him about his daughter, and he would help me get this freak in prison for the rest of his life.
“We will have the sacrifice tomorrow evening—after your departure.”
Whoa, what now? “The sacrifice?”
“We must return an an-gel to heaven once you leave us.”
Shit, there was a catch. A big one.
“There is no other way.”
There were plenty of other ways…if you weren’t fucking nuts.
“We will bind her to the cross—and turn her body to ash so her spirit can return to the sky.”
I pictured Laura then Nadine on that cross. Beatrice, her skin on fire as she screamed in agony. And then I pictured something far worse…Claire. I wanted to flee this place just as much as everyone else, but not under these circumstances. I wouldn’t be able to get the police and beat Forneus before he returned to the cult…not in time.
My brief moment of joy was gone within the flick of a light switch. It was devastating, to watch my freedom be snatched away like that, in the blink of an eye. “I’ve changed my mind. I wish to stay…with you.” I could barely force myself to say the words out loud, even if it was a lie, because it was so disgusting.
That smile returned. “An an-gel needs her demon.”
Sure…whatever you say. “I ask for something else.”
His smile remained.
“Amon needs to protect his angel, not hurt her. He’s hurting her—and it needs to stop.” I suspected I knew what his answer was, but I had to try anyway, do whatever I could to spare her and Claire this horrific pain.
“You’re my an-gel. Not them.”
“But they’re my fellow angels. You should protect them too.”
“The relationship between demon and an-gel is intimate and private. He knows what’s best for her.”
Fuck.
Even if I ran away and got caught, Forneus probably wouldn’t do anything. But if they got caught…they would be mercilessly tortured. And if I got away, an angel would be sacrificed. The only way we were getting out of this place was if we all went together.
He watched me, his smile gone. “My an-gel is sad.”
“I just…wish they had a demon like you.”
“I knew you were my an-gel the moment I saw you, those beautiful wings under those lights, sent from heaven just for me.”
Creepy-ass shit, man. But I had to go along with it, because I believed that was the reason he’d taken a liking to me, because I fulfilled this ridiculous fantasy that wasn’t based in any form of reality. I gave him what he wanted—so he gave me what I wanted.
He suddenly rose to his feet and extended his hand to me.
I stared at it, unsure what to do.
He held the posture, patient.
I stared at the scar on his hand, the same one I had.
“Come with me, Ang-el. Let’s ascend together.”
No…not this again. I took his hand and got to my feet.
He tried to guide me back into the bedroom.
I stayed put, which forced him to turn to look at me. “I don’t want to ascend.” I didn’t want to put that pill in my mouth. I didn’t want to hallucinate. I didn’t want to run in the forest and see yellow eyes.
He stared at me for a long time, his hand loosening from mine.
I knew I’d said the wrong thing. I could feel it. He was different.
“We must ascend together. That’s why a demon needs an an-gel.”
If I didn’t do this, I had no purpose. I was worthless, replaceable. “Of course…I just meant in this room. Let’s return to the church.”
His hand cupped mine once again, accepting my explanation without another thought. He guided me back into the cabin, down the hallway, away from the firelight, and into a dark bedroom.
It wasn’t dark because the lights were out.
It was dark because the walls were painted black. There were statues along the walls, portraits of dark demons. There was no furniture, only a bed. When I turned my gaze back on him, that cruel smile was there.
More ominous than it’d ever been before.
In his hand were two pills—one for him and one for me.
He grabbed one and put it in his mouth, swallowing it dry.
I forced myself to take the other.
He lay in the king bed, on his back, his hands together on his lap.
I moved to the bed beside him, the two of us looking up at the ceiling.
His hand reached for mine, and he interlocked our fingers. “Together, we ascend.”
