“It’s over. We’re over.”
My voice is dull. My eyelids are heavy. My limbs feel as though someone has poured mud into the marrow of my bones.
There are marks on my face where the dark elves slapped me.
My ears still ring from the violence of their blows.
I cannot do this anymore. I cannot go on anymore.
Layla places an arm carefully around my shoulders, stopping when I flinch slightly.
I do not really want anyone to touch me, but I trust Layla. I know she just means well.
All I can see, whether my eyes are opened or closed, is the zagfer, shouting at me, attacking me.
“Sweetheart,” Layla’s voice is soft as she strokes my head. I am surprised that I am not crying yet. “What happened?”
I do not know what triggers my tears. Maybe it is the tenderness of her voice, or the soothing calm of her hands.
Whatever it is, it opens the floodgates, and I burst into tears.
My shoulders shake and my face burns when tears roll down my newly scarred cheeks.
Layla gasps slightly at the violence of my tears, and I know that I am crying as though I will never stop.
“Demethys doesn’t love me,” I choke the words out, hiccupping slightly. “He never did. His zagfer confirmed it. He only wanted me back in his life because of Addie.”
“How can you say that?” I wipe the tears from my eyes. When I look up at Layla, there is an angry glint in her eyes.
Her face has gone white, and her lips are pressed tightly together.
“Harper, I saw how much he loves you. I saw how much he loves Addie. He would not do anything to jeopardize your relationship.”
“Well, I have already left him,” I say, not willing to believe her. “And I am not going back.”
“What happened to your face?” Layla pulls away from me, examining me intently.
“It’s nothing.” I do not need to enrage Layla any further by telling her about what the zagfer did to me.
But even thinking about the zagfer and their attack makes me shudder with remembered pain.
I burst into tears again, and Layla pulls me close, so that she is cradling me against her chest.
I feel safe for the first time, in Layla’s arms, and allow myself to cry.
I know that Adelaide is safe, in Layla’s guest bedroom. In fact, she doesn’t even know that anything is wrong.
I have almost cried myself to sleep, still in Layla’s unmoving arms, when there is a loud, great banging on Layla’s front door.
“What in the gods?” Layla looks up frantically. I barely look up, too emotionally exhausted to care.
I only look up when the banging is followed by shouting.
I know that voice anywhere. I will know that voice for the rest of my life. It will follow me forever, wherever I go.
Demethys.
What could he possibly want now?
“Don’t let him take Addie!” I pull away from Layla, standing up unsteadily. I am ready to go to my daughter and defend her from Demethys if I must.
“Please, I need to talk to her!” I hear Demethys shout. His voice breaks on the last word.
Kerym lets him into his house, and I cannot help but be shocked when I see Demethys.
I have never seen him this disheveled before.
His clothing and hair are in complete disarray. He is breathing heavily, as though he has just run a marathon, and his eyes are wild.
Demethys sees me as I hurry to Layla’s guest bedroom.
He falls on his knees at my feet.
“Please, for the love of the Thirteen,” he gasps the words. “Please just let me explain.”
I keep my face turned away from him.
“You shouldn’t be making such a disturbance.” My voice is stiff when I speak, but my heart pounds painfully in my chest.
Demethys gets up and takes my hands in both of his. I go to him unwillingly. I still do not have the capacity to deny him anything.
He leads me into Kerym and Layla’s living space at the front of the house.
“What happened to your face?” He sees my red, scratched face when I lift my head.
“It’s nothing. And we have nothing to talk about.” My voice is dull again. I am so tired. I am so tired that I want to cry.
“Did the zagfer do that to you?” His voice is stern, and I look up at him in surprise.
I shrug my shoulders and shake my head.
“Please, Harper,” he kisses the palms of my hands. “Please, bring Adelaide and come back to me.”
“I don’t think I can do that.” I pull my hands out of his, but he sits closer to me. He slides his arms around my waist and pulls me into his embrace.
It is becoming harder and harder to let go of Demethys. I only wish he hadn’t come here tonight.
He kisses my cheeks, and then my forehead. He wipes away the tears that have welled up in the corners of my eyes again.
“I love you. And whatever the servants told you was a lie.” He says. Demethys doesn’t try and touch me in any other way.
He only holds me and kisses my face.
“I fired all of them. Please know that I love you more than life itself.”
“I don’t think I want to work things out with you,” I pull away firmly, and he drops his hands. “And I don’t think we can.”
“I promise you; I fired every one of the servants, even the butler. I know they hurt you.”
I burst into tears again and Demethys pulls me closer to him. Just then, I hear footsteps behind us.
“No one will hurt you ever again, Harper,” Demethys whispers in my ear. “I promise you that.”
When I pull away again, I see Kerym and Layla standing behind us. Layla smiles at me encouragingly.
“We can work through this, Harper. We can still have a life together.” Demethys is begging me now, I know he is.
And as I sit there, I think through all the possibilities.
I still love Demethys. I do not think there will ever be a version of me that does not love him.
And as much as I might want to, I can’t keep him away from Addie. Not now that they’ve met.
She loves him so much that it would be cruel to keep them apart.
And he has never done anything to intentionally hurt me.
Should I really try? Should I try again? When there is a chance that my heart might get broken again?
The questions trip and tumble through my mind haphazardly.
And as I sit there, a thousand futures open up in front of me.
Futures where I am happy, living with Demethys in a home we have created for ourselves. We have had more beautiful babies.
We are growing old together.
There are other futures where I am alone. Without Demethys and struggling to move on.
Futures where I have to see Demethys move on eventually, and where I have to share Adelaide with him.
Are you willing to do this? When you might get hurt again?
But when I look at Demethys I know that he is sincere. He will ensure that nobody ever hurts me again.
“I don’t know,” my voice is thick with emotion. “I don’t know if I can put everything behind me.”
I do not miss the way Layla sighs behind me.
Demethys nods.
“I understand why you feel that way. But Harper, I vow to you now that I will always be there for you. I will always make sure you are loved.”
“And Layla and I can help with hiring servants.” Kerym interrupts. Both Demethys and I turn to look at him.
He shrugs, smiling, a wicked glint in his eyes.
“Demethys was taking really long to seal the deal.”
I cannot help but laugh at Kerym’s carefree words.
Layla nudges him with her elbow and glares at him. He nods obediently at her but the smile remains on his face.
“We can even build a house close to this area so that you are closer to Layla. Then you won’t be isolated.” Demethys tells me.
“Really?” The thought of having my family, Demethys and Addie, so close to my friends sends warm shivers through my body.
Maybe I can actually be happy with all my loved ones so close by.
“And like Kerym says, we can hire better servants,” Demethys continues. “I know where we can find trustworthy dark elves and humans.”
The thought of letting dark elves be our servants still terrifies me. I realize then that it will take me a while to get over the trauma of the attack.
Demethys notices my hesitation right away.
“We can hire humans as servants, if that is what you want.” He says gently.
I nod then and to my surprise, Demethys starts crying. I am not sure whether he is crying from relief or exhaustion.
“I love you so much,” he says, and I kiss his wet face. “I will never do anything to let you go again.”
I sag against him, finally allowing myself to relax.
“I love you too.”
