and I blink rapidly, trying to clear the fog that’s heavy on my mind. I groan and bring a hand to my head as pain lances through it, feeling like it’s splitting me open. I sit up slowly, clenching my eyes shut and feel softness beneath, and covering me. I sigh at the feeling, running my fingers over it. I passed out again, great.
I suddenly freeze, my fingers stilling as I sense him nearby. I breathe deep, taking in his scent and wrapping it around me. I can’t help but take comfort in it, even though I don’t want to.
Why him?
Why does he have this effect on me and why do I care when I hate what he did, how he questions me, how he sees me. How he makes me feel.
I can’t handle him giving me shit right now. His questions or his eyes on me like they search inside of me, reaching the very depths of myself that no one but him has been able to see before.
I just want to rest. No, I want to go back to Eridian where everything was fine and simple. I was living life as best as I could, surviving, and I was mostly happy. But most of all I was safe, we were safe.
Now I don’t think there is any place in Vrohkaria that is safe for me, or my pack.
I have a target on my back, but so do the Highers.
The thought reminds me of when we went to a village after Belldame got the cuffs off my wrists. Word that a Higher was there from those who went out to collect supplies. Higher Aiden was drunk off his paws when we found him, unable to sense the danger that was me, lurking in the dark. I gave him the same mercy they gave Josie and Danny. I snuck up behind him and slit his throat. Then we ported his corpse back to Witches Rest, where he was fed to those pink fish I first saw when entering there. Riets. Who knew they had sharp teeth hidden in their mouths and a bottomless appetite. That was my first Highers kill. Five more to go.
It was eye opening though, to be out into the lands. I hadn’t been out into the lands since before we came to Eridian, and so much had changed from when I viewed it as a little girl when I was allowed to. People were starving, fighting with themselves over food and materials, and children were crying. Just like the sight of those at the last village we went to. So much suffering and destruction is left in the rogures’ wake when they attack. Is this what Vrohkaria has been like since I hid myself away?
I realize how blind I have been, or in denial. Edward always updated me on what was happening in Vrohkaria, I don’t know why he felt the need to, but I never asked him to stop. He told me of villages and towns, how the rogures were growing in numbers, on how the Lord Highers were demanding more payment for their so-called protection against these beasts.
And I didn’t realize it was this bad.
And what good did the Highers’ so-called protection do? It did nothing but leave people with even lower supplies after the rogures kill, tear and ravage anything they can get their teeth on.
I remember my face was attached to the wooden board and there was a script along with it. Telling me my name, who I was and that I was dangerous and unhinged. If I was spotted, do not approach but contact a member of authority straight away to catch me.
But I’m caught now, in the Elites keep, and I have no choice but to acknowledge that I’m not alone. He won’t let me be alone.
Just leave me alone!
“Little wolf?”
How dare he call me that, how dare he even show himself in my presence. He doesn’t deserve anything less than pain and hate and rage after what he has done.
He sighs, then moves closer. I tense, pressing deeper into the softness. Let me sink in it, I think, let it wrap me up so I can just…be.
I feel him sit, feel heat spreading along my leg that he is so close to touching. “You need your rest,” he says. “But I also need to see those eyes of yours.” Ha, why? So I can once again be locked in his gaze and my resolve weakened? Because if the Gods hadn’t given me enough to survive though, they gave me him. My weakness, my downfall.
Just like I knew he would be.
Something cool strokes over my hand, my body locks up, and then relaxes. I feel his magic gently roaming over the back of my hand, like a greeting. My fingers flex, and it pushes between them before going to my palm. My heart thumps heavily within my chest, and tears prickle behind my closed eyes at what it’s doing. It wants to comfort, soothe me, and dammit, I let it. I raise my hand a little, letting it fully move all over my hand and then gently place it back down on the softness. It’s like it’s holding me, seeping into my skin. I feel my own magic, just under the surface, instinctively moving toward it. I feel the moment they press against each other, feel the moment I release a breath as Darius echoes it.
The connection thrives like lightning inside of me, and I clench my hand around it, keeping it in my grip as it swirls against my palm. Like-caressing-like. The other thing that is the same as me, but different throughout the whole of the lands, and it’s attached to the enemy, is the enemy.
I feel a sob bubble up my throat, and I unclench my hand, batting his magic away and roll over, my back toward him. I feel the moment he calls his magic back, feel the tension in the air, but I can’t do it. It’s a lie.
I grab what feels like furs and burrow against it, pulling it over my head as I try and come out of the feeling of hopelessness. And although I feel that, rage is simmering just under the surface, ready to rise and boil over. I just need a little more time before it’s ready, a little more time to rest and then I will get out of here.
We shouldn’t have come to this keep, we should have stayed at Witches Rest and figured out what to do. Found somewhere else to stay where Darius cannot find me and then made plans to figure out how to get Kade and our pack back.
There has to be others out there that go against the Highers’s ruling, that hates them as much as we do. The number of people we have rescued over the years, there must be so many more of them, wanting a new life, wanting revenge.
Because even though most are not directly affected by the Highers, their laws do not protect them, they just take more of their food and leave them to fend off the rogures themselves.
So maybe we can still get Sarah, and then we will go and look for others who are willing to fight for the lands, who will help right the wrong and hopefully not be scared of an Heir.
Maybe some will welcome me. maybe they will.. like me. Forgive me for hiding.
I don’t know, but I need to try, it is the least I can do for all those that have suffered at the hands of the Highers because of my absence.
I hear Darius move, and I burrow deeper. When I feel a hand on my shoulder though the furs, I want the ground to swallow me and he growls beneath his breath. I wait for what’s to come. A shove, or ripping the furs off of me and demanding answers.
None of this comes though. “I’ll let you rest more and bring up some food later.” And then he’s gone. His presence disappearing from the room.
I think to myself I should get up, go to the door I just heard close, and make a run for it.
But I’m just so tired.
I snuggle down.
Just a quick rest and then I will go. I will go when my magic recovers from my outburst and get my pack that are here, get Sarah, and disappear, never to see Darius again unless it’s on a battlefield.
I don’t go though. Darius comes to me everyday and I ignore him. He talks to me, touches my shoulder underneath the furs, my legs, feet. Still I don’t say a word.
And I don’t hear anyone but him.
I don’t smell anyone but him.
I don’t sense anyone but him.
Just always… him.
