to prevent pregnancy with your heat?” I startle at his questions as I lean on the stone balustrade of the balcony from his room. I look over in the distance, scanning the trees and wishing I was in them, running free. But alas, Darius is adamant I need more rest, so I’m trapped in this Gods damned room.
My gaze moves to the large lake, watching as the moonlight glistens off its surface, looking like silver glass. Is it cold? or is it hot with the summer sun warming it during the day?
Darius comes to stand behind me and I tense, waiting for him to touch me. He hasn’t stopped since he trapped me in his room.
I once again think about reaching out to Josh down the link, but I can’t do it. I can’t hear his voice right now as much as I don’t want Darius near me.
A touch to the back of my neck makes my shoulders pull up to my ears, and he makes a purring sound, running his fingers back and forth along my skin. I blow out a breath, and my grip on the balcony wall tightens as I feel the warmth of the breeze against my face.
“Little wolf,” he encourages, and I grit my teeth.
“I did, I always do, even though I see to it myself.” Don’t worry, Darius, no pups for you.
“Apart from the last time,” he reminds me, like I need it.
“Yes,” I grumble. He makes a sound from within his chest.
“Tell me more about your childhood.”
“What else could you possibly want to know?” He needs no more.
“I want to know everything,” he murmurs, and his breath tickles my ear as he crowds me against the stone. I move closer to it, trying to resist the pull of his body heat, but he still closes the gap. His hard chest hits my back and then his arms come around to either side of me, hands resting next to mine.
I’m fully surrounded by him, by his sent, his subtle dominance that he keeps low, but I can still feel it all the same. Runa preens inside of me, huffing out a delicate sigh at his nearness.
“I have told you all I think you should know, enough to let you know I’m innocent, and that all we have ever done is try and survive,” I fume. I need him to stop touching me, it’s getting harder to resist. I vow he’s doing it on purpose.
“You have told me that,” he agrees, and I hear him inhaling my hair, a barely there growl coming from his next breath. “I want to know all that makes you up. Your bravery, your heartache, your strength, your pain.” A pause. “Your rage. I want to know it all from the beginning.”
“You don’t have that right,” I say through gritted teeth. “You will never have that right.”
Another pause. “Maybe not, but I still want it. I’m a selfish asshole like that when it comes to you. I’ve told you that already.” He picks up a strand of my loose hair in front of me, playing with it. “You may hate me, you may want to hurt me, kill me, even.” He rests his head on the top of mine, my gaze going back to the lake. “But you feel the pull as much as I do.” I still at his words, not wanting to talk about this. Not now, not ever. “So we can either be civil, as now it seems we work toward a common goal, that would be best. Or…” His voice has dropped lower now, his hand coming up to encircle my throat gently. He tips my head to the side, moving the hair away as his lips touch the side of my throat. “We can tear each other apart when we are near, strip down to nothing but our skin and fight it out. You know how much I like it when we play.” My stomach flutters, and a shallow breath comes from me as I wrestle with the desire that creeps up, that heightens even more as he devours my throat with his mouth. I reach up a hand, clawing at his own at my neck and he growls deep, his fingers tightening like he doesn’t want to let me go. He grinds into me, and I feel his hard cock against my lower back, and flashes of the last time we were together run through my mind. Heat pools between my thighs and he snarls into my skin, his other hand coming to grip my hip in a bruising hold as he continues to rock into me, never once stopping in his desire filled kisses.
“Darius,” I pant, and he groans in my ear as he nips at it. I nearly falter, nearly give in. “Get off of me.” He stills, whether from my words or the seriousness in my tone, I don’t know. But he does move back, releasing my throat slowly, and then his warmth is gone. I’m shocked for a moment that he actually did what I asked. I was prepared to use everything I have to get him off me, but he moved as soon as I told him to.
I lean on the balustrade, closing my eyes briefly to shut down what my body wants to do. What it’s warring to have.
“My childhood was happy for the times I was with my parents,” I relent, wanting to try and distract both of us. I won’t go deep, but I can give him this if it stops me from wanting to rub all up against him. “My mom taught me all about Vrohkaria and Heirs, constantly telling me stories as my dad taught me to hunt as much as a child could. They were happy and they made sure I was too. I was always off exploring as a child, curious about the lands, but I could only go so far. It felt restrictive, so I spent a lot of time in the woods and fields of lesia flowers.” He doesn’t say anything, but I know he’s listening. “Me and Josh became best friends when I was around five, he was always at our home as he was an orphan. My parents basically took him in as their own. It was a great childhood, until the rest of it was stolen from me.” I feel myself starting to numb, not wanting to go into detail about after I was trapped in the basement.
He comes to stand next to me, his arm brushing mine and I feel our wolves greeting each other. “Your mom was an Heir?”
“She was, she was the most amazing being in the lands.” I swallow over the lump in my throat.
“And she chose Charles to be your guardian?” I nod. “But you don’t know who Warden is?”
“I didn’t have a guardian named Warden, I haven’t seen him before.” I don’t tell him that my mother and father named Edward my other guardian. I don’t trust him enough to tell him about the person that saved not only my life, but Josh, Cassie and Kade’s too.
“He’s a Higher. I don’t know why Charles told us he’s your guardian when you don’t even know him.”
“I don’t know, but who knows why Charles does the things he does anyway.”
“You have a point. I have realized I cannot trust what he has told me over the years.”
“That would be smart to consider.” He turns to look at me, and I can feel his scowl.
“Do you know Aldus? He was the one who gave me the memory crystal,” he tells me.
“I have heard the name, and if Aldus gave you that crystal that is wrong, then he is also on my shit list,” I say, looking up at the star-filled sky.
“He’s on mine too, I’m trying to track him down.” I look at him then.
“You are?”
He nods. “Higher Aiden hasn’t been seen in a few weeks, I think Aldus is out looking for him and doing his rounds on behalf of all Highers to the people, but I will find him eventually.”
I say nothing in regard to Aiden, he won’t find him. I did kill him after all. Soon enough, the rest will follow. A smile forms at the thought.
“Anything I need to know, little wolf?”
“Nope.”
“Hmm, you will tell me, eventually.”
“You seem so sure,” I say, looking at him.
He dips his head, looking down from the balcony. “In this, I am.”
Confident male.
“When will I see the memory stone, you said you wanted me to see it.” I’m also curious to know what everyone saw.”
“I have been trying to locate it, Charles refuses to let me have it.”
“Of course he does,” I sigh. “How am I supposed to look at it and try and see if I know anything about the rogures if you don’t have it? Wasn’t that one of the points of bringing me here?”
“I will get it, I just need some time. We hope we can see something we missed with the ritual that was performed, and with it showing you, maybe you can see why we thought you were the traitor.”
“I don’t think that matters anymore.”
“It does.” His tone is firm as he says that, like it’s important.
We stay in silence for a while, looking out over the lands. Its not uncomfortable, but standing next to my enemy, sort of allie, mostly asshole, I take in the view before me, knowing this is one of those other precious moments to look upon.
“Is Kade still at the castle?” I dare to ask, looking back up at the stars.
“As far as I know, yes.”
I want to ask if there is any way he could get him out, could get me in to get him, but we haven’t even gotten Sarah yet. For all I know, this could all still be a trap.
“Under the moonlight,” he murmurs after more silence stretches, and my shoulders bunch up, refusing to look at him. “The darkest of nights shine the brightest.”
I swallow roughly as he repeats what I said to him in Eridian. I thought he didn’t hear me. “How do you know that?”
I feel his stare on the side of my face. “How could I not?”
“Maybe we should use a memory stone on you and block it out,” I snark.
He chuckles, and it makes my insides flutter. “I think both of us have had enough of memory stone bullshit.”
“True, but this could be an exception. You can forget all about me and be on your way with your band of merry assholes.”
“Even if my memory was taken, little wolf, it would be impossible to forget you.” I hate the way his words wash over me and burrow deep. The thought of someone not forgetting me, even my enemy, settles something inside of me. I have been hiding for years, I could die and the only ones who would know would be those in Eridian. To have someone on the outside makes me feel like I’m part of the lands, not burrowing into it until I cease to exist. “You know as well as I do that I couldn’t forget you.”
“Souls are a funny thing,” I tell him, picking at my fingers and shaking off my thoughts. “They are this invisible thing, yet are very much there and are a part of you. You don’t see it, but you feel it, and they can hurt, tear, and damn near break you. But you know what I think?” I ask, finally looking at him.
“I want all your thoughts,” he says, eyes roaming over my face.
“I think no matter the how, we created our own soul, and since we did that, we can eventually over time, re-make it. We can mold it, take some off and keep the bits we like.”
He tilts his head at me. “And why would you want to remake it?”
“Because I would take out the parts that cause me to falter in my steps, that weigh me down under boulders and drown me in its darkest depths.” I don’t know why I told him that, but the words spill from me anyway.
He shakes his head slowly. “I don’t think you would need to do that.”
“Why not?” I question, my brows furrowing.
“You don’t need to remake your soul, little wolf, all you have to do is conquer it. When you do that, and it is a when, Rhea, you will have a home with foundations, not a tent that could blow away at any moment. With that, you will become more than you were, but never forgetting how you started or how far you have come.“ He turns toward me, and I’m unable to move back, to get out of his sight as everything narrows down to him, on his words. “When you do that, you will shine more than you do now. The lands will know it too, and they will feel your wrath, but they will also feel your heart.” He nudges his nose against mine, the action too quick for me to avoid. “I could create a path so you don’t stumble anymore, carry the weight you bare and make sure you stay in the light.” He looks me over, a small smile on his face, the one that is unguarded, free. “But you don’t need me to do that for you, Rhea, you can do it on you own. Though I will help you, whether you want it or not.” He turns and heads back through the doors before I can reply. “Come, time for bed,” he calls over his shoulder.
I stay where I am and bring my fingers up to my nose as it tingles. My chest warms at his words, and my heart crumbles at wanting to believe him, for just a moment, to believe that maybe we can forgive what we had both done.
I lied, I killed some of his men, I hid Sarah and more people died because some of the Elites weren’t there to help with the rogures.
He took us to the Highers, broke our vow, and whipped me.
It feels like so much hangs between us, and in the softer moments, we forget for a little while. We both know that the silent words of this mess hanging between us, of anger and betrayal will soon spill out.
And I’m not sure what will become of us at the end of it.
“I’m not tired,” I eventually tell him.
“Don’t care, bed.”
Ugh, insufferable asshole.
