light tunic and linen pants, I take the steps one at a time, slowly to the ground floor of Belldame’s home. I tense at the tightness in my body as I move, but I’m feeling much better after my soak in the bath and Anna wrapping my back again with more salve.
The rustic feel to the home brings me a small sense of comfort, the wooden walls and thick beams reminding me of the cabins in Eridian. Paintings of unknown places fill the walls, all different sizes with mismatched frames, I scan them as I pass them by. One specifically catches my attention as I near the bottom of the stairs, and I turn to look at it closely. A meadow of lesia flowers bloom under a moonlit sky, their blue petals glowing majestically from the silvery light shining down on them. A pang goes through my heart at the sight. I’ve always loved those flowers, reminding me of my mother and how Dad and I would always collect them for her. Her favorite became mine, and I haven’t seen a single one in over ten years. I reach a finger to the painting, tracing them as the feeling of sadness drowns me. I wish I was back in time with my mom, where she would tell me stories as we played behind our home in our own field of lesia flowers, and how she would pick them carefully and laugh as I tried to make crowns of blue and place them on our heads.
How life was so simple then, so loving, whole and…innocent.
Trying to shake the emotion off, I move back from the painting and take the last step of the stairs and turn right, heading down the hallway. The scent of herbs around the home reminds me of Anna’s healer cabin, so much so that I forget for a second that’s not where we are. It’s a welcoming smell though, making me feel at ease, even though it brings my already low mood down further. I quickly shove it aside and follow the voices coming from what I assume is the back of the home, and I enter an open doorway into a sitting room of sorts.
Small bones dangle on some sort of strong leather strips from the walls, their shapes vary in size, while different plant life is scattered around the spacious room along with dried herbs hanging from the ceiling. Josh is sitting on a wooden bench with Sebastian next to him, talking quietly as they gaze toward the fireplace in front of them. Taylor stands next to it, throwing bits of bark onto it thoughtlessly. Hudson and Colten are seated next to the window, a small table full of food between them. Colten shuffles some berries around on a plate as Hudson stares at him intently, brows furrowed as he leans on his clenched hands beneath his chin.
I look at them silently, wondering if they hold any resentment toward me for putting us in this position, wondering if they blame me. It’s my fault after all. I caused us to lose our home with whatever was in the memory crystal, and I wonder if I hadn’t escaped my old pack, if I just stayed and became their prisoner for the rest of my life, doing what they told me, would they be living their life now? Would Josie and Danny still be with us? I clench my eyes shut as grief hits me. They didn’t deserve that, they didn’t deserve their life to be taken away from them, just like my parents.
I shake myself internally. I have no right to wallow in sadness after all the pain I have caused, no right to wallow in self-pity.
I take some deep, quiet breaths and enter the room. They all look up as one, soft smiles on their faces which I return gently, picking the side of my fingernail where my hands rest in front of me.
Then they all rush toward me at once apart from Josh. Seb’s first, holding me close and rubbing his cheek against mine. “I’m glad you’re awake.” He kisses my cheek and winks, moving out of the way for Colten.
I can see how tired his brown eyes are, but he gives me a small grin before doing the same as Sebastian, his cheek is warm against mine as he nuzzles into me. “Welcome back. Now you can tell Hudson to get off my ass.”
Hudson grabs his arm, yanking him away with a scowl, but the move is gentle. “You like me being on your ass, pup,” he murmurs, and I raise an eyebrow at him. He shrugs, pulling me close by my shoulders for a quick hug.
“Feeling okay?” I turn to the sound of Taylor’s voice and nod, letting him pull me into a hug. He squeezes me once before he lets go and moves back to the fireplace, a deep sigh of relief leaving him.
“Finally, the Heir awakes,” Sebastian says, clapping his hands as the rest take their seats. I roll my eyes and sit next to the fireplace in a high-back chair, sinking into its softness, mindful of my aching body.
“I don’t think clapping your hands is the way to go,” Josh grumbles, hitting Seb’s hands to get him to stop.
“Where is Anna?” I ask, fidgeting nervously.
“She’s with her grandmother,” Taylor says. “Something about seeing her sister and brother-in-law.” It’s strange being here with Anna’s family and coven. Though I’m not really sure it’s her coven anymore with how long she has been away. I’m still shocked over the fact that she has family here.
“Did Kade really break your blood link?” Colten winces as he asks, and I can’t help doing the same.
My eyes flick to Josh, sharing the pain together of Kade breaking our connection.. “He did, but he’s not in his right mind. They did something to him.” I shake my head, my eyes going to the fire as I watch the flames. “I know he never would have done that if he had true memories as they claim he has. They abused him.” I swallow roughly, clearing my throat of the memories of how his own parents treated him as a child. “They were cruel, and would use him against me to get me to do what they wanted. No parent should do that to a child, and Kade would remember all of that if he had truly gotten his memories back. I know that because he used to have nightmares about it all the time before I asked Edward to block them.”
The sound of the fire crackling is the only sound in the room for a moment. Thoughts of all Kade has been through, that Josh and I have been through, swirl through my mind. Only Josh knows the extent of what we both went through, the others have had bits and pieces over the years, but it’s not easy for the words to come and tell others your horrors.
“Rhea’s right. The way he was talking…” Josh sighs, running a hand down his face. “If he had his memories from when he was a child, there is no way he would have sided with the Highers. He would have never destroyed the blood link between us.”
Taylor grunts and moves to take a seat next to Josh. I look over to him, his eyes are hard and fierce. “They all need to go. It’s time.”
“I know,” I agree softly, knowing he’s referring to the Highers. “They have been in power for too long, have lied and cheated and caused so much pain to so many. The issue is, only those affected by them know, the people of the lands are blindly living with wool over their eyes. I just don’t know how to end them once and for all. The Highers are powerful, but with Elites at their back? It’s impossible to take them out. Edward and I have spoken about taking out Charles for years and we have come up with nothing that wouldn’t get us killed in the process. And that’s just one Higher, alone. They’re strong, and we… aren’t.”
“But you’re an Heir, that’s powerful in itself,” Hudson chimes in.
“When I accepted and unleashed my Heir power at Wolvorn Castle, I was able to destroy the barrier around me and Josh, and then push others back. With every second I used it though, it was also draining out of me, and it’s not there anymore. I know I don’t have my markings visible either, I would feel them. It’s just not there.” What use am I to anyone like this?
“But it did come to you, so it will again,” Taylor reassures me. “It probably doesn’t help having those cuffs on you and not being fully healed.”
“Probably,” I agree, “but I don’t know how to call upon it again.” I flex my fingers, feeling nothing coming from within me.
Josh tilts his head at me, leaning forward on the bench and resting his arms on his knees. “How did it come out in the first place?”
“My mom,” I whisper, and all their gazes sharpen. I sigh and lean further back into the chair, carefully. “My mom always told me to keep it locked down, you all know this. I have kept that promise ever since I made it to her. It was locked so deep inside of me that I just thought I would never feel it again. The first time I did was when I was about six, and I haven’t since and was okay with that. Then Josie and Danny were killed.” I pause, willing the tears in my eyes back, taking a shuddering breath. “When they died and Kade broke our link, it was all too much. The pain, anger, loss, helplessness, it overwhelmed me, and I felt a flicker of my power. It was there, ready to be called upon and I did. I promised I would never reveal it and that promise had always held me back as it was the last one I made to my mom, but then I felt her.” Their eyes widen in shock and I sniffle, wiping a tear that falls from my eye.
Shaking my head, I sigh. “It’s crazy, right? Over the years, I’ve felt odd phantom-like touches. I thought it was just me, or maybe the land was greeting me, as I feel like it does that at times. When we went into The Deadlands, that was the first time I felt it so strongly and accepted it. It was strange, but I felt the need to welcome it. Then it kept happening again and again, that it just became normal and a comfort. There was no malice in those touches. It wasn’t until we were in Wolvorn’s great hall that she came to me, telling me it was okay and I needed to let go. She told me that she was giving me the last piece of her and she released me from the promise, telling me to be strong. I was so scared.” I laugh, but it’s hollow. “I was so scared of what would happen if I revealed it, but also because I knew it would reveal Darius as well. Stupid, I know,” I grind out, watching the flames eat away at the wood in the fireplace as the others tense. “Why would Darius being the Heir of Cazier worry me? But two Heirs under the same roof speaks of disaster from historical texts, even Charles knows that. But I had no choice, and I told Darius that, and that I couldn’t let them take anyone else. So I let go and it was like the shackles I put around myself fell away, and I felt my markings appear as my power came to me.” I clench my hands on my lap. “But even doing all that was for nothing.” They still have Kade.
“It was meant to be, child of Zahariss.” Belldame’s voice startles the room, and our heads turn toward the door. She stands there with Anna at her side, looking at me with something like sympathy in her violet eyes.
I swallow roughly as she comes forward, her steps slow as she takes a seat on the chair opposite me. She leans her stick against the fireplace, the light still glowing at its top as Anna sits next to Sebastian on the bench. I look at Belldame, scanning the bones that hang from her neck as I wonder who they came from. She also wears a tunic, dark linen pants and a light fur shawl draped across her shoulders. She gets comfortable in her seat and looks at me, wrinkled hands resting in her lap. We stare at one another for a time, wary, assessing, but strangely, it’s not uncomfortable.
Then she shocks the shit out of me.
“I knew your mother.” I jolt, sitting upright, hissing at the burning sensation racing up my back.
“Careful,” Anna chastises, but my eyes are only for the old witch in front of me.
“W-what?” I stutter, my hands gripping the armrests tightly.
“I knew your mother,” she repeats softly. “She visited me many times, especially in her youth.” She chuckles, and I just stare at her, my mouth open. Mom came here when she was younger? She knew the blood witches?
I shake my head, trying to process what she’s telling me. “How?” I ask eventually.
She smiles, the wrinkles on her face more prominent as she does. “Do you know why us blood witches here have no alliance with the Highers and never have?” I shake my head. “It’s because our only alliance is with the Gods.”
I blink.
“What the fuck,” Josh says, and the rest agree with him, including me.
I turn to Anna. “Did you know?” Her eyes are guarded but she eventually nods.
“We have always followed the wolf Gods, even though we are witches. It’s said in our history that your Gods and the Bielsorcia, Blood Witches, have been in a pact throughout thousands of generations.” She shifts uncomfortably, picking a strand of her red hair and twirling it around her fingers.
“When we spoke about me being an Heir, you were scared of me, wary of what I was capable of,” I accuse, and she hangs her head.
“I may stand with your Gods, but the Heirs?” Anna sighs. “You hear things out in the lands, scary tales of them roaming the lands and devouring your soul if you wrong them. Before I came to Eridian, I would hear it all the time in Aliseon, people would say, ‘Should you cross an Heir, you will live in despair.’ I guess after hearing it so much I thought it to be true, but I know you’re not like that,” she rushes out. “It was just a shock, finding out you’re an Heir of Zahariss. I’m sorry.”
“Silly girl,” Belldame tuts at her, but I can understand why she may have thought the way she did, even though I bristle at what the people of Vrohkaria think of Heirs.
I knew the Heir’s reputation was bad, thanks to the Highers spewing their poison on the minds of their followers. Hearing it from Anna hurts more though, but I accept her apology, nonetheless.
I turn to Belldame. “How did I not know about this alliance between blood witches and the Gods?”
“It’s been kept a secret, child,” she answers. “Only we, the Highers, and your Gods know. Until now.”
“Why keep it a secret? I thought Mom taught me all I had to know about our Gods and the Heirs?” How much do I not know?
She shakes her head, sadness spreading across her features. “You were young, and time was running out to tell you all you needed to know.” Chills skate down my spine at her words.
“What do you mean?” My words are quiet, not sure if I want to know or not.
Sadness flashes in her eyes as she looks at me. “Your mom knew her time would come, knew the Highers would reach her eventually. She was a seer of sorts, which was her unique power gifted by Zahariss. She knew her time was running out, she had seen one night that her and your father’s lives were coming to an end. She came to see me just before your seventh birthday.”
My heart pounds violently in my chest. “She knew that her and Dad would die before my birthday?” Belldame nods, and the memory of dad giving me my knife and giving Mom her favorite flowers a few days before my birthday flashes through my mind. “But they were happy,” I choke out. “We laughed and danced the days leading up to my birthday.”
“They both didn’t want your final days with them to be full of sadness and sorrow, child. Both of them didn’t want that for you.” A tear tracks down my face and I wipe it away angrily, hating that my parents knew but had the strength to give me a few last happy moments.
“Why didn’t we all leave if she knew, why didn’t we escape?”
“She told me that no matter the path she took, the outcome would be the same for her and your father. But she had told her sister to watch over you, to make sure you were taken care of.”
Aunt Selena was supposed to take care of me? Anger whirls around inside of me at the thought. She didn’t do what my mom asked, she left me to rot in the basement.
“She left you a letter with me, would you like it?”
I choke out a breath and nod my head, unable to believe this is even real right now. She waves a hand, and a rolled-up piece of parchment appears in her fingers. She stands, bringing the paper over to me and I take it in my shaking hands, holding it close to my chest as I try to gather myself.
“I knew your mother for a very long time, child, as I have with every Heir before her, offering them sanctuary here when they needed it. I saw her swell with you in her belly, saw how happy she was when you would kick and wriggle.” Her eyes shimmer as she speaks. “Your mother never complained, she would laugh and rub her belly, letting you know she was there.” I nod, unable to speak, taking those words about my mom and burrowing them deep in my heart. “Your mother never wanted any of this for you. She was a dear friend of mine, a great Heir and an even greater mother.” She wipes a tear from my cheek with a wrinkled hand, a soft smile on her face. “This is a gift not many can have. I promised to get this to you when I could. I knew there would be a time that you would come to Witches Rest, your mother said so herself. I have waited a long time for this moment. For me to deliver my final promise to your mother.” Her smile trembles. “You look so much like her.”
“I do?” I was young when I last saw Mom, and when I felt her in the great hall, I didn’t see her, I just felt and heard her.
“You do, child, you have her nose, hair and eyes. Your chin definitely comes from your father.” I let out a wet laugh and close my eyes, the onslaught of emotion making my body tremble.
She stands and looks around the room at everyone. “Come, let’s give her some privacy.”
Everyone leaves, squeezing my shoulders or touching their cheek to mine before the door is gently closed behind them. Now alone, I take a deep breath and run my shaky fingers over the paper, trying to make sense of everything Belldame just told me. Sniffling, I untie the string and roll the paper out between my fingers. The tears fall harder as soon as I see mom’s handwriting for the first time in so many years.
Lasandrhea.
Happy birthday sweetheart, I’m sorry I missed it, and the many others that have come after it. I wished to the Gods to be present for many birthdays, but I knew it wouldn’t come to be.
My beautiful girl, I never wanted to be writing this letter to you as you sleep upstairs, dreaming of running through blooming meadows and playing in the rivers. For nearly seven years I have watched you grow, watched you smile, wiped your tears and held your laughter close. I miss you now even though you are just above me, and I will miss you even more when I’m gone. I wish I could be there with you now, holding you close and taking walks through the lesia flowers as we always did.
I’m so sorry, Milal, for leaving you. Your father and I both are. We love you so very, very much. Our hearts beat with yours and you will walk the earth while we have joined with it. Your father and I are grateful for the time we were able to have with you, you are a joy to our hearts and the love of our souls.
I squeeze the edges of the paper as tears form in my heart with grief all over again.
Don’t be sad for too long about our passing, sweetheart, we have accepted it and knew it would come one day. Don’t be too hard on yourself with grief and the blame I know you will put on yourself for what you overheard that night in the woods. I know you will, it’s the kindness within you, but know that it was always meant to happen this way, how Zahariss saw it happening. The Gods have had enough of their Heirs being in the shadows, and it’s time for them to come out and reclaim what is theirs. For that, we could no longer be with you as you take this path.
I hope the life you are leading is gentle and kind to you, but I’m afraid that hasn’t been the case, has it? You are so strong my darling girl, so so strong. I wished for a different life for you, wished you could be free of the invisible chains that come with being an Heir and the way our people see us. Zahariss chooses the ones fit for her power, and our bloodline was who she chose. Trust in her decision, sweetheart, for you are worthy. Also trust in mine for the decision to begin passing on my markings of an Heir to you early. When you reach the age of eighteen, your full markings will be complete, and you will become who you are supposed to be.
We didn’t reach your eighteenth birthday, we weren’t there when your markings fully adorned your skin. Again, I’m sorry, we’ve missed so much in your life, especially when you received your wolf. I would have loved to have seen her, I bet she is beautiful.
I failed, Mom, she won’t come out anymore.
Before I left this world, I asked for Belldame’s help in transferring some of my essence to you. When the time is right, I will guide you into your full powers, help you bring it forward. I have seen that you will struggle with that, holding on to the promise you made me about keeping it a secret. I knew you wouldn’t break that promise since I asked it of you when you were six without me allowing it. That was the only solution for me to release you from that promise, and I hope when you are receiving this letter, I have spoken to you again for the last time and you know how much I love you.
Vrohkaria hasn’t been kind to you, to any Heirs for a very long time, and I’m afraid it may not be for a little while longer. I trust you to right the wrongs of the lands, this is the path Zahariss has put you on. She knew what would happen when I passed, knew that the lands would fight back and try to push the Highers out of their power. Vrohkaria will perish if they continue to do so.
When you find your Bloodmate, believe that the Gods choose wisely for you both, believe in their decision. As I once said to you Milal, he will protect you more than most.
For now, my brave girl. I must go.
Look to the earth and listen to their sounds. Every sway of a branch, every rustle of leaves, the first frost, the first gentle rainfall of spring., Know it is us. We are always there, with you, around you.
We love you.
Until we meet again.
Mom.
My sobs shake my whole body as I clutch the paper to my chest and grieve all over again for the parents I’ve lost, the parents who were stolen from me. That this is the path that Zahariss has put me on but has cost too much.
It’s too much to burden alone.
But I will do it. I will carry the weight that was given to me, even if I have to crawl.
As my tears fall like streams down my cheeks, I silently vow that those who have done wrong will pay.
Vrohkaria will be bathed in blood and given back to the lands.
And I will right the wrong that has been done.
